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The Severus Snape Fan CLub

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Harry glared at the tall, silky raven-haired potions master for the umteenth time. As things at Hogwarts had hit an all time low, the dour potions master wasn't helping matters by his venomous behavior toward him. Still reeling from the sneering comments about his fame from earlier, he stabbed his kidney pie viciously.

"Maybe he wouldn't be so glib if he knew what it felt like," Harry muttered. Ducking his head to avoid his narcissistic DADA teacher Gilderoy Lockhart, Harry decided that, for once, he wasn't going to let this pass. For once Harry James Potter was going to have his revenge. He grinned evilly at his plate.

"Hey, Fred…George," He called to Ron's brothers.

...

Severus Snape was in a foul mood. He had seen that miserable whelp's expression during dinner earlier that week, and knew it boded ill for him. As he slammed the door open into his potions class, he was met by two gasps.

"Could it be?"

"No way, but dare we hope?"

"Great Merlin, it is!"

"It's him! I can't believe I'm standing in the same room with him!" One of the twin Weasleys said in an enthusiastic tone. Severus whirled around and scanned the room to ensure the brat-who-lived wasn't in the room. Seeing noone but his typical classroom of third year Gryffindors and Slytherins, he strode toward the red-headed idiots. They emmitted twin gasps.

"Fred! I think…he's approaching us!"

"I can't breathe…you ask him!"

"Merlin…merlin…merlin!"

The two gaped at the approaching man in…reverence and awe? What the hell is wrong with those two?! Suddenly, one of the twins gave an high pitched squeal and toppled from his chair. The other hopped on the balls of his feet excitedly and thrust a parchment and quill at the speechless potions master.

"Can we have your autograph?"

Snape gaped. "What?" He snapped in surprise.

"Please? Just one? Fred and I can share. Please?" The still sitting twin looked up expectantly.

Severus raised a brow. "What are you going on about, Mr Weasley?"

"Well, Fred and I are members of your fan club. We love your work! All those awesome potions. You truly are an inspiration, sir. Please can we have an autograph?"

Severus stared for a few moments…and snorted. "Five points from Gryffindor for wasting my time."

The twin that had just risen from the floor gasped loudly. "I am so jealous. You got points taken by the Severus Snape!"

Snape growled.

"Oooh, do that again. That sounded so sexy," Lee Jordan said with a sigh. The Slytherins gasped. A pink tinge appeared on Severus's cheeks.

"Fine," he snapped. "I'll sign your stupid paper! But I don't want to hear another word about this foolish fan club thing!"

Severus scrawled his signature and thrust the paper at the twins, who grinned happily.

"Harry's going to be so jealous," Fred smirled.

Severus whirled. "And, what exactly, does Potter have to do with this?" He said in a low, dangerous tone.

George looked up innocent. "Why, he's president of your fan club, sir."

Snape fainted.

One week later:

"Albus? You're going to have to do something about your golden bo—oh no!" Severus stared in horror. There, sitting in the headmaster's chair, was Albus Percival Wolfric Brian Dumbledore, wearing a silky black wig over his long, silver locks.

"What's the problem, Severus?" The headmaster asked nonchalantly, but his eyes twinkled.

Severus huffed. "I can't go anywhere without those dunderheads asking for my autograph or picture…Creevey has blinded me countless time with that infernal contraptions of his…over half of the student body is wearing those stupid wigs…and Potter! Potter is walking around wearing my…er, clothes like mine, in addition! If you don't put a stop to this, headmaster, the Dark Lord won't have to worry about the infernal brat's survival; I'll take care of him myself!"

"Oh, Severus. Don't worry. It's a phase, I'm sure. The students will find something else to devote their interest in. I, for one, believe this is good for you."

Severus spluttered. "GOOD?!"

"Indeed. Now you know how Harry feels about the entire unwanted fame thing."

"I doub—oh," Severus finished. For the first time, the entire incident made sense. "Why that sneaky, little—"

"Slytherin? Yes, the sorting hat told me that it wanted to place Harry there. Perhaps now, you'll think twice before making digs on Harry's fame?"

Severus gave a crisp nod and turned to leave.

"Oh and Severus? Could I have an autograph?"