"One rule of competition is knowing there will always be someone better than you out there."
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It had become routine and something of a ritual. After docking at islands reeking of adventure or fun – i.e. all of them – the crew would gather together and see who'd be stuck with the honorary job of making sure Luffy didn't destroy the island somehow.
Thus when Robin spoke of a yearly festival the locals were celebrating, everyone drew straws to volunteer the babysitter.
This time's winner had been Zoro, so naturally the remainder drew straws to see who would babysit him.
Usopp was still surprised the ship hadn't gone up in flames when Nami drew the shortest. All he had needed to see was the homicidal glint in her eyes before he took off running for some assuredly brave errand. He would've offered himself in her place, of course – he could man up and admit she babysat everyone except Robin on a daily basis - but inspiration struck at the last second, and he decided Sanji needed more help with shopping than Nami did with keeping two of the most dangerous men on the seas from making something explode.
It was because that poor bastard had amazing leg strength but noodle arms, Usopp swore up and down to his invisible audience with a reassuring nod. He couldn't be expected to hold up more than two bags at a time. And who knew what Luffy would do if he returned to the ship with one less bag of meat? The island might sink! A dangerous mission in need of his expertise, that's what this was.
Thus it was necessary for him to surf through the crowds in search of curly-browed cooks; it being his duty to his loyal followers, and the Great Captain Usopp never ran away from the call of duty.
He just hadn't factored in that sense of 'duty' taking a backseat as he mulled over whether or not to monopolize the dart booth he'd stumbled near. In his defense, he hadn't seen Sanji anywhere yet, which was quite a feat seeing as there weren't many places to explore. Even Zoro would have trouble getting lost.
His steps slowed the closer he got to the stand and shuffled in indecision. Besides taking on the noble task of ensuring their cook got back to the ship, there wasn't much for him to do. The island was wonderfully small, and the games and booths set up looked more like an excuse to goof off than to celebrate something. They'd gotten the short end of the stick in the adventure department this time… which was fine with Usopp. Dull festivals he could handle. It was Marines, monsters, blood-thirsty pirates and dying he was allergic to.
Though if he was going to be honest, the lack of urgency and danger was pretty… off-putting. And just plain weird. After spending weeks on end being chased by what felt like the entire world, having storms try to tear Sunny apart, and being stuck on the same ship with crewmates of questionable sanity, a break from the madness made him so nervous that Usopp wanted to save himself the trouble and combust on the spot. The sniper glanced around, uneasy all of the sudden, and his knees began to knock together.
Damn it, why couldn't he enjoy a boring island?! It was like he needed a constant menace around so he could be right when something exploded.
"C-calm down, Usopp! It's just an island!" Deeeeeep breaths. There was nothing to be nervous about! Men like himself did not overre--
The dress shoe lightly smacking him in the head did not result in an unmanly shriek of terror, thank you very much; it sounded more like a testosterone-fueled yell of fury, Usopp decided. He still gave Sanji a sharp whack on the head regardless, even if that didn't faze the cook at all. The jerk.
"What did you do that for?!" The sentence choked off into a coughing fit when the asshole promptly blew smoke into his face.
"That was for Nami-san," Sanji said smartly, and shifted around the bags of groceries in his hands. "Don't think I didn't figure you'd taken off and left her with the damn Marimo and captain."
"You didn't help her either!"
"I was shopping for you ungrateful bastards as per a lady's request." A fact he seemed to be lamenting, if the depressed sigh was any indicator. "Aaah, my poor Nami-san and Robin-chan! Left alone with you shitfaces! I'll have to make them something extra special to make up for my lack of… eh?" Sanji blinked curiously over the top of Usopp's head; he'd spotted the game booth. "Gonna try it, Longnose?"
"Well, you didn't have to sneak up on me. My heart could've given out!" he grumbled, and shot daggers when it was clear the slightly older man wasn't paying attention to his peril. Sanji's eyes were too busy being glued to the booth near them. "And I dunno. Maybe." His irritation simmered off, and he too found himself eying the game now that it was the new topic of conversation.
It looked pretty simple. The standard hit-as-many-colored-balloons-as-humanly-possible. So easy that Usopp sniffed and threw his nose in the air; on second thought, he wasn't that bored yet. "A warrior such as I has no time for fun and games! We require real challenges!" Liking finding stupid cooks, but it looked like that job had been finished for him.
"Hmm." The cigarette bounced thoughtfully on Sanji's lower lip. "And you get a prize if you hit enough, right?" His one visible eye gleamed.
It was then Usopp noticed Sanji wasn't looking at the booth so much as the prizes guarded carefully behind the counter, and his enthusiasm suddenly made sense.
"You're gonna try it?" The glare he'd got for his troubles said that he hadn't quite wiped the skepticism from his voice. But it wasn't like he'd seen Sanji attempt anything that required aiming, and kicking people in the face did not count.
"Of course I am!" Groceries were muscled into his arms before Sanji whirled off, leaving Usopp to dodge the incoming barrage of pink hearts. "My lovely Nami-san and Robin-chwan deserve a prize!"
... He was amazing, this guy, Usopp reflected, and wondered if he was he capable of thinking of anything else. Well, besides cooking. Otherwise there were few men he knew who took after their obsessions with such gusto. "Sanji. Somehow, I doubt they're gonna care much for a stuffed animal…" His warrior's wisdom once again went ignored, no surprises there, and Usopp resigned himself to following the chef like he'd set out to do in the first place. Besides, he was curious. Everyone else had attempted to best Usopp's Dartboard of Terror™ at one point or another, with mixed results.
Chopper, Nami, and Robin could manage okay, at least getting near the bulls-eye, Franky and Zoro tended to destroy both the darts and the board with their Ouch Finger and Three Dart Style, and Luffy was no longer allowed to play, as he was more concerned with watching the darts whiz through the air than what he ended up hitting. Usopp's bruises could attest to that.
Sanji, on the other hand, had always been busy fixing a meal, so never got a chance to try. Usopp's personal opinion was the cook could keep damage to a minimum if he stayed in a good mood, and provided that no one poked fun at his eyebrow. Otherwise he would ascend to the level of demon and decimate everything in his path.
"Have you tried darts before?"
"Nope." The smirk Sanji tossed at him was all casual confidence, and Usopp started to think this was the explosion he'd been foreshadowing. "In the name of love, skill's not a requirement." At the disgusted groan, he waved a menacing foot in the longnose's direction until he wisely shut up.
Just by watching the man pay for his turns and pick up a bunch of darts from a cup, Usopp could immediately tell Sanji, for all his bravado, would snag at least a medium-sized prize. Just like in the heat of battle, his motions were cocky, controlled, and graceful, as if he were the main event performing on stage. The arm gestures might've been a little on the extravagant side, and Sanji tended to lift his feet when legwork had nothing to do with this, but the darts listened to his hands and flew close to their marks. By the time he was done, a small crowd had gathered to watch him take out more than half the board. Rookie's first luck and all.
"Heh. No problem." Sanji grinned over his shoulder, looking more than a little pleased with his handiwork. "Maybe I should take your job, Longnose."
That grin of pride that might've been forming on his face soured into a scoff. "Don't even joke about that!" He jabbed a finger at the balloons. "You couldn't even clear the board! Imagine if those were Marines!"
"Then you'd be hiding in the crow's nest while I kicked the rest overboard."
Well, yeah, but… "Way to miss the point!"
Another breath of smoke was exhaled. Usopp swore it must've been his honed warrior senses tingling – that or he spent way too much time around the cook – because he already knew what was coming next. "Well then, show us how it's done, Captain Usopp." Sanji jerked his head to the balloons in challenge. "If you hit them all, I might even make you a special dessert later."
Oh ho.
For one of the few times in his life, the long-nosed sniper didn't need to think about his plan of action. He elbowed Sanji and his prize over – a pink polka-dotted elephant that Usopp knew for sure was gonna get sold at the next island once Nami got her hands on it – and snatched up a handful of darts, smirk so large it was almost falling off his face.
This was the stuff legends were made of. A battle that would go down in history. They'd speak of his grandeur and presence for years, how the Great Captain Usopp stared down his opponents – all ninet—no, one hundred of them! – until they quaked from his penetrating gaze, a whisper of a wind hushing the crowd of spectators as they witnessed a miracle sent from the seas. His arm readied, eyes narrowed in concentration, breath held. The world of speechless onlookers melted into the background, so quiet you could hear a fly --
"Oi. Usopp. Sometime when I'm still young."
Sanji was no fun at all.
The board had been set up by the time he snapped himself out of his monologue, all the balloons back in place. He didn't need any time to steady himself; the motions came as natural as weaving his stories did. One by one the air-filled balls exploded in a steady shower of rubbery entrails – pop pop pop - until the final one remained. The demon-overlord balloon stared back at him, pleading for mercy – it wouldn't try anything again, no sir! - but unfortunately for it, luck had decided to side with the Great Usopp!
With a flourish he sent his last dart zooming at speeds over 20 knots for the kill. Kaboow! Instant KO. The balloon sagged to the floor, defeated and broken, the last in a line of evil wrong-doers. A cheer of relief erupted through all the liberated islands, and they sang his name in joy! Horraaaaay for Captain Usopp~ Oh Captain Usopp! The mightiest warri--
It took Usopp a beat to realize the ringing of applause wasn't from one of his internal, adoring audiences. The crowd that had gathered for Sanji had doubled in size, and they clapped enthusiastically at his accomplishment. His mouth flapped uselessly, not used to actually being praised until he remembered who they were clapping for, and struck a pose in victory, brazen laugh filling the air. Well, it wasn't so strange when he thought about it. They've just been awed by my warrior's skill!
He was really starting to like this island. His danger sensors had obviously been on the fritz.
Sanji, instead of looking humbled or defeated, just chuckled and nodded over the counter. "Claim your prize, King of Snipers. And let's head back to the ship."
"Haha, you sure he deserves that title yet?"
That… hadn't come from his mouth. Or Sanji's. Or even the man running the booth. Usopp's triumphant laugh froze in his throat, eyes swiveling around so he could set the owner of the voice on fire for doubting his greatness.
His gaze finally settled on a wide, grinning face in the crowd that readily reminded him of Luffy. Except Usopp could guarantee his captain was male, even when he'd gotten a hold of two melons and Nami's bra. This grin was connected to a pair of natural curves and wavy brown hair, a dusting of light freckles and candy-green eyes. She continued to smile as though she hadn't just challenged a man's pride, and Usopp couldn't come up with a proper reaction besides internalized indignation.
His fellow nakama was having no such trouble. Beside him, Sanji responded appropriately.
"Aaah~! What a lovely lady to grace us with her presence!"
To her credit – and Usopp's snickering amusement – she ignored the cook's advances and kept her eyes trained on him. "You're pretty good with darts," she emphasized with a gesture of her hand. "Is it a skill or a hobby to you?"
By now he'd gained his second wind and quickly changed his pose, giving his chin a theatrical rub. "Ah, I guess you wouldn't recognize this face," he bellowed lowly with mock disappointment, chest puffed out. "Then again, not many who see this face ever get a chance to tell the tale!" From behind them, the crowd oooed appropriately; he really liked this island. "They called me the Devil's Slingshot back in East Blue. I have more than 8,000 devoted followers ready to snipe at my comma—aaaah! Sanji! Would you stop kicking me?!"
"As if she's gonna believe that!" Sanji lowered his foot, puffed out smoke and pointed. "See? She's even laughing at your stupidity." And lo and behold, the girl was indeed biting her lip to keep from laughing out loud. Usopp deflated on the spot.
"Uh. It'd make a good story," she suggested kindly when she noticed her reaction hadn't been welcoming. "Not many people can sound that believable, yeah?"
Before Usopp could answer that it was totally the truth, he could even recite all of his follower's names, Sanji beat him to the punch and waved the sniper away like he was a bad stench. "Neh, you don't have to boost his ego! That's not even one of his good stories." Usopp twitched.
"Oi. Sanji. I'm still here, asshole!" The guy was getting cockroaches in his bed until the next island, pain of death be damned.
This time she didn't bother holding in her amusement and laughed openly at their argument. At least someone was enjoying it. "You two are like a married couple." It sent both men sputtering in denial. "And I'll just take your word for it, sir." With that, she walked until she stood in front of the booth, where a new set of balloons had already been put up for the next customer. "But it sounds like this isn't just a hobby for you – Usopp, right?" With a delicate touch, she began picking up a set of darts, placing each one in-between her fingers. "It's been a long time since I've found anyone as good at you with a dart, to be honest." Both hands full, she crossed them against her chest. "You shouldn't let talent like that be wasted on a dart board."
Warning bells went off as he watched her stance, causing him to nervously shift in place. A strange reaction for him, as from his professional point of view, she wasn't gonna hit the board much less a balloon looking like that. But… that feeling made a comeback – the one that only crept up his spine when he was in the company of dangerous people sans his crew, and if he didn't do the smart thing and run, he'd be regretting it soon.
He barely saw her arms move, it seeming more like she just flicked them gently in front of her, but he definitely picked up the end result. All the balloons popped at the same time despite six darts being thrown, and the wooden board groaned in pain before cracking under stress. It stood still, whined once more, and then crashed to the ground to join all the mouths that had flown open in shock. Even Sanji was oddly silent beside him, one visible eye darting quickly between the destroyed board and the grinning girl.
Usopp's teeth chattered and his legs buckled because he was pretty sure this counted as that explosion he'd been fearing.
"So. Usopp!" The woman clapped invisible dust off her hands and turned to face him, arms folding and the devil's grin on her lips.
"How badly would you like to be King?"
A/N: This idea wouldn't leave me alone, so obviously I need to drop everything and appease this beast of a fic. Also, I realize there's another fic that focuses on Usopp and sniper tournaments and stuff floating out there. I'm purposely not reading that one so it doesn't accidentally color my own story, though it looks awesome. D: Just a note, so no one thinks I'm trying to copy ideas here. Then again, what on ffnet is actually original? XD
And yes, there will be OCs in this story. There's no way the story would exist without them, so if you hate OCs that much, the back button is your friend. I do promise that no OCs will be paired with the characters, and that I'll do my best to make them dynamic and acceptable. If it feels like I'm slipping into Mary Sue territory, I'm of course willing to listen to concrit.
... And one last thing. I really like Sanji/Usopp as a pairing. As of now, not 100% sure if that's going to happen or if I'll bother with any pairings at all. It really depends on how the story leads itself, if that makes sense. I do whatever feels natural to me. Still, a heads up because I know that's not a widely liked pairing. No point in leading readers on since the usual nakamaships will be teasing you.
R&R plz. I would love comments on characterization. It's been a long time since I've tried my hand at Usopp. Or... any of them.