Confessions Unconfessed

It was 5:14 AM.

The wastebasket was almost full. A frantic Ryoutaro Tsuchiura furiously crumpled another sheet of paper and added it to the pile.

"Kahoko, I just want you to know that..."

Hmmmm. Let's be more straightforward here.

"I love you."

Wait! A few drops of sweat trickled from Ryoutaro's brow. Wait. That's too straightforward. I... can't do that.

"I... will always play your accompaniment for you. You're the violinist this pianist has been looking for."

Ah, but she might not remember that conversation anymore. Or, she might not think that it really came from me, or wonder if I really mean it.

"Will you please realize already that Len Tsukimori's not the right guy for you?"

Too bitter, too bitter. And since when have I become this jealous of that guy - that idiot?! That sentence, which was close to Tsuchiura's two hundredth attempt of writing anything for the past days, heard one wretched gruntle from its author. That same paper was crumpled into a ball too, like the others, but was somewhat harder-squeezed this time. The tormented young man sighed. He wasn't even sure about how he'd feel if his friendship with Kahoko was going to be harmed by this... confession of his.

"Whenever I play the piano, I always think of you."

I've got something here, that's sounds nice - let's try that again...

"Actually, my mind drifts to thoughts about you most of the time, too."

But I might sound like some sort of a stalker. Better be too safe than too sorry. Right? Or maybe not. Or maybe... Ugh. Why does making a confession letter have to be so damn hard? Or maybe I could just tell her directly. Another cold sweat drop. Or not. Keep trying, Tsuchiura. At least you'll have some sort of a backup script in case you stutter when you do manage to finally be able to talk to Kahoko about this.

"You're so beautiful to me."

Ryoutaro stared at what he wrote. True. Oh, how true. She has no idea how lovely she is to me.

"You play the violin great."

On second thought, it's not just that. She's not exactly a technical expert, but...

"I love how you play the violin. I love you even more."

Hmmm. Though these things are true, I don't normally talk like this. Is it because I hadn't slept last night?

Frustrated, Tsuchiura groaned inwardly but stopped himself in the midst of it as a lightbulb of an idea weakly flickered and glowed in his mind. He then continued writing.

"Your playing the violin have inspired many children and even more of our school mates. But it was you yourself who have inspired me..."

...to do what I loved to do the most. To play the piano. To simply just be myself, and to dream again. Ryoutarou stretched his long arms, tired from sitting in the same position for quite some time now. Yeah. That sounded just right. But would it do?

He glanced at the clock. By this time, the wastebasket was practically full. He felt a bit sorry for all the paper that was put to waste.

By the time Ryoutaro finally decided on something, he had to run to school just to get to Seisou High School as early as he had originally planned. It's becoming rarer that we don't have early morning soccer practice these days, so today's the only day that I could...

That morning, like what she does every day at school, Kahoko Hino went to her desk for her first class.

"Eh? I wonder what that is."

She picked up a small note neatly but discreetly stuck to the side of her seat.

"Hey, Hino. Do your best in the charity concert next week."

Cheeks still lightly blushing, Kahoko smiled back at the little smiley face scribbled at the end of the note. Even without looking at the sender's name at the back of the sheet, she knew it was from Tsuchiura – his handwriting was one of the few she'd easily recognize, after all. Oh, Tsuchiura-kun. The mere mention of his name had turned her already pinker cheeks to an even deeper crimson. Kahoko sighed, thankful that she still somehow manages to hide her feelings for him. He'd only be troubled if I told him about how I felt. That kind person might feel guilty, even. She looked outside the window and allowed her thoughts to drift to Ryoutarou Tsuchiura, imagining that she was confessing certain things she had been longing to tell him. Then again, I might risk losing our precious friendship if I told you.

Author's Note:

When it comes right down to it...

...even though Keiichi is cute and adorable...

...despite Hihara's heart-uplifting spirit and Azuma's enigmatic allure...

...although I love Tsukimori Len so much...

...it seems that Ryoutarou Tsuchiura would be the most loving, the most supportive and the most stable partner for dear Kahoko-chan.

At least, that's what I think right now. Haha. Then again, maybe another character would be able to prove himself worthier in the next chapters of the manga. We'll see.

A request: will you please comment/review? :)