Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of the characters! I don't make any money by writing my fanfiction.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

By Hyperthia

It was a blusterous, Sunday morning in Risembool. The clouds were thick and dark, and the autumn winds assaulted the trees, sending golden leaves all over the roads. It was the kind of day that required everyone to cozy up next to a warm fire and read a good book, which is exactly what Trisha Elric was doing.

She lounged in an over-stuffed fireside chair, slinging her legs over the armrest as she pressed herself into the depths of the soft cushions. She lazily flipped through the pages of her favorite novel, Pride and Prejudice, and listened to the soothing crackle of the fireplace. She needed this break. Oh, how she needed this break! It had taken her almost an hour to finally get her youngest son, Alphonse, to take his nap. He'd be out for, hopefully, another three hours. Until then, she just wanted to read.

Meanwhile, Edward, who was 'a big boy and didn't need naps,' sat in the kitchen, filling out a form for his school. Trisha had tried to help him with some of the questions, but Edward insisted that 'he was a big boy and didn't need help with the paperwork.' Trisha held no doubt in her mind that her four-year-old was, indeed, a little genius.

Trisha was just at the part where Elizabeth visited Darcy's estate, when she heard the sound of a chair scraping across the tile in the kitchen. Then, came the soft padding of tiny feet approaching her. When it stopped by her chair, she peaked over the top of her book to see Edward staring at her. He had his fluffy head resting on his stubby arms, which were slung across the armrest. He looked up at her with the most adorable puppy eyes he could offer. Trisha knew, right away, that he wanted something; most likely one of the cookies she had baked earlier. She marked the page she was on before gently setting her book on the side table.

"Yes, Edward?" she asked, expecting him to ask something innocent like, 'can I have a cookie?' She was not expecting him to ask what he did.

"Mama," he began in a small voice before tilting his head. "What's sex?"

Trisha felt her stomach drop. Her little boy, her four-year-old, had just asked her… She couldn't bring herself to… Where did he hear that term? She had hoped not to tell him about that until he was older… like twenty! Did he hear it from another kid at school?

She failed to hide the blush across her face as she sputtered, trying to think of an answer. Edward was completely oblivious to her inner struggle and he just stared up at her, wondering why she wasn't answering his question.

"Um… ah…" she brought a hand up to cover the increasing blush on her cheeks. Then Edward added onto his query.

"Am I an 'M' or an 'F'?" he asked.

"What?" Trisha asked, her mind jumbled with confusion at the question.

Edward pointed toward the kitchen, and Trisha had to tilt her head to peer into the room. Upon the table, she could see the little form that Edward had been trying to fill out. She felt her heart rate slow down, and the blush slowly disappeared from her cheeks. That's all? She smiled warmly down at her son, feeling completely relieved.

"Put a check in the box next to the 'M', sweetheart," she said, ruffling his hair.

"Okay!" he chirped, scampering back into the kitchen. As she watched him finish up with the form, Trisha buried her face into her book, trying and failing to muffle her laughter.

The End

If Trisha had lived, I could just see her having a 'sit down' with a twenty-year-old Edward, and saying, "Now, Honey. When a mom and dad really love each other…" and then Edward being like, "Ummm… Mom?"