Disclaimer: Neither Bleach nor its characters belong to me

Sorry it's taken so long to update!!! It drives me nuts when I have the piece sitting right in front of me--my fingertips are itching to finish it, or at least finish a chapter!--but there's so much other stuff to be done! It's crazy. I promise to try and get on a regular updating schedule. Thanks for sticking with it and for all the reviews and encouragement!

Now, back to the story. Enjoy!

"A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts." -Steve Fergosi

Time passed quickly for Karin. Traveling with Toshiro, she had started struggling for air; the darkness was too much. But before panic could completely take over, she'd felt Toshiro's strong arm encircle her waist reassuringly.

Then the darkness dissipated, and the light that ensued blinded her. His grip on her waist tightened, as he could sense her panic and discomfort, until she felt her feet touch solid ground again.

She could breathe again.

The room they ended up in was unfamiliar--but then it would be, wouldn't it? It was sparsely and plainly decorated and reminded her of old world Japan. She hadn't believed Ichigo's descriptions but apparently he had been serious.

"Taicho!"

Karin turned at the sound of the high-pitched squeal and quickly moved out of the way as a, um, shapely woman tackled Toshiro. He looked slightly annoyed as she wrapped her arms around his torso, trapping his arms, and squeezed tightly.

"That's enough, Matsumoto."

"But Taicho," she whined, "I've missed you."

Karin watched as something resembling fondness entered Toshiro's turquoise eyes; she noted he didn't push the woman away.

The blond woman pulled back, looked up at her captain for a moment, then swiftly descended on Karin. Her eyes grew wide and she looked very excited. "Kurosaki Karin! I'm so glad you're finally here!" she said, snagging Karin in a tight embrace.

Karin's eyebrows shot up and she looked at Toshiro over the woman's shoulder, but he just shrugged. The woman pulled back. "Don't you remember me?" she asked, brows and face scrunched.

Karin looked into the woman's glass blue eyes, hoping for a trigger. Nothing. She smiled sadly. "No, I don't. I'm sorry."

"Aw, I was hoping...oh well. I am Matsumoto Rangiku, Vice-captain of the 10th Division," she offered smilingly. The woman was very sincere. Blunt. Karin couldn't put her finger on exactly why, but she immediately liked her.

"Nice to meet you, Matsumoto-fukutaicho," Karin said and nodded once.

Matsumoto furrowed her brows. "No need for formalness, Karin. Call me Rangiku."

They were on a first name basis...or had been before, she guessed. Karin smiled but wondered how the two of them had been friends if she'd never been to Soul Society. Not even she and Toshiro were on a first name basis.

Toshiro cleared his throat and gave his vice-captain a look.

Matsumoto rolled her eyes and tugged on Karin's arm. "Ignore my captain. We're going for a tour of Seireitei. You can't expect to get around without knowing where you're going."

"Okay..." That...kind of made sense to Karin. "My stuff-"

"Taicho will take care of it. Don't worry, Karin. Your fate is safe in my hands."

Karin looked over her shoulder at Toshiro, her eyes half pleading, but she could have sworn his response was a slight smirk as he entered an adjoining room and disappeared.

So much for protecting me, she thought dully.

Matsu-Rangiku dragged her through a large facility. Everyone was in uniform and doing their own thing, whether it was paperwork or kido practice. Karin could feel her heart beat faster. Would she fit in here? No one really paid her much attention, just an occasional, non-hostile glance, but still. If anyone found out she was, technically, still alive, would she be considered a-a what? A freak, maybe?

Or worse: what would happen if anyone found out she was Ichigo's sister?

She did not want to think about it.

"This is the common area, and the sparring space is down this corridor, and the dining hall is in here, and..." Rangiku continued but her voice drowned out as Karin's thoughts ran wild.

What was she doing here? This was crazy; this was a crazy mistake. I do not belong here. I do not belong here. What was I thinking? This-this is not my world.

Karin vaguely noticed Rangiku drag her through an archway, but didn't fully realize where they were until she was pulled to the halt at the steps of a very large building.

"...and this is Shinoreijutsuin, the Shinigami Academy."

She took in the view with wide eyes, trying to absorb every detail.

"You'll get an official tour in a few days when you start class, but I figured you'd at least like to know where'll you'll be." She grasped her wrist again with a sturdy hand and began to tug Karin away again. "Now let's go find some friends, huh?"

Karin had no idea about whom the wild blond woman might be referring but she saw no advantage to objecting. She'd just get lost if she ran away.

It seemed like they walked a long time but they did not walk far. Rangiku chattered incessantly. They arrived...back at the 10th Division barracks? Had they really just travelled a huge circle?

"Renji!" Rangiku called.

Karin stopped dead in her tracks, tugging Rangiku to a halt. "Wait, where are we?" she asked.

Rangiku looked at her. "What? Oh, I'm sorry. These are the 6th Division facilities. They kind of all look the same, don't they?"

Before Karin could answer, the aforementioned redhead entered from an adjoining room. "Rangiku, what are you-" he stopped when he spotted Karin, and he smiled. "Hey, kid."

She smiled, relieved to see a familiar face. "Renji," she sighed.

He hugged her and ruffled her hair. "Heard you were on your way. Rangiku dragging you around Seireitei?"

Rangiku huffed, planting her hands on her hips. "I did not drag her anywhere, I was just showing her around. She can't be sticking out, you know. Maybe we can present her as some obscure noble; she'll never pass as a soul from Rukongai."

Karin turned to her. "Why not?" she asked, her brows furrowed.

Rangiku shrugged and tossed her long hair over her shoulder with a practiced skill. "It doesn't matter. You just need to know your way around."

"I hear you're staying in the 10th Division barracks instead of the academy dormitories," Renji stated.

"What? I am?" Karin questioned.

"Yeah, but it's no big deal," Rangiku said, elbowing Renji in the ribs mid-sentence. He grunted but rubbed his side without saying anything.

Karin folded her arms across her chest and scrunched her brow as she peered at the two of them. "Why?"

Rangiku's expression became overly innocent-looking and she held her arms out helplessly. "It's not required for students to live in the dormitories. Some live at home if they live nearby. We just thought it would be...easier for you if you stayed with family. It was a big enough transition already."

"But...my family isn't here," Karin stated pointedly.

Rangiku's expression fell a little. "Well, you and taicho...and you and I...we were...like sisters," she admitted sadly, but she still smiled remembering it. It was the first thing she'd said all day that hadn't oozed of sweetness and optimism.

Karin swallowed and whispered raspingly, "Oh."

Rangiku looked away from her and shrugged, her lips pursed.

"She's right; it's not a big deal that you don't live in the dormitories. You'll probably have a nicer room in the barracks, plus you get to hang out will cool shinigami when you're not in class. All the other kids will be jealous." Renji spoke as if she were about to start her first day of kindergarten.

"Oh yeah? And who are these 'cool shinigami' you refer to? I hope you're not talking about yourself," Rangiku laughed. "Come on, let's get something to eat. I'm starved!"

Karin found herself in a bar-like restaurant outside Seireitei's wall, surrounded by strangers; friendly strangers, but strangers none the less. Rangiku had gone around the table introducing her--or, in some instances, reintroducing--but she didn't remember names. It was a little...awkward, on her part, at least. They were all already friends, and she felt like the new kid; they were all her brother's friends, too. It didn't help that she felt out of place in a bar, still considering herself to be underage, even though Rangiku offered her sake as if it were water and they were all stranded in the middle of a desert.

Renji was friendly and attempted to include her in conversation, but he had always been Ichigo's friend; she had never really considered him to be hers.

"Come on, Rangiku, if the kid doesn't want to drink, she doesn't have to drink."

"Aw, don't be such a killjoy. I'm just trying to get her to loosen up. God knows her brother never does."

Karin sat there, in the corner of the booth, contemplating her future. Would she be that quiet girl who lived complacently in the shadow of her famous brother?

Hell. No.

"I," she said reaching for a glass of sake, ignoring the way all the eyes in the booth immediately flew to her face, "am not my brother." The warm liquid burned as it flowed down her throat, but it was a good feeling.

"Atta girl, Karin!" Rangiku squealed, downing her own glass.

The group ate and talked and talked and laughed all night, and Karin felt a little better and a little more welcomed and a little warmer with each glass she downed.

"I m go ing...bath room," she managed, attempting to stand. The minute she slid out the booth and her feet touched the floor, however, her stance and balance wavered. She reached in front of her to try to right herself, but there was nothing there to grab.

"Whoa," Renji said coming up behind her, steadying her with hands at her shoulders.

"I am fi ne," she tried, but she leaned heavily into his grasp. Her vision was fuzzy and she squinted against the soft light that filled the bar.

"I don't think so. We're gonna head out guys," he said to the half of the table that was still conscious. He still got no response. He and Karin managed to stumble to the door before she lost her footing completely.

"All right," he said, scooping her up like a rag doll. "I've got ya."

She mumbled incoherently and drifted out of consciousness in his arms.

Renji walked through the silent, dark streets, and sighed, unable to decide which to hope for more: that Ichigo would not find out about his underaged baby sister getting drunk with his so-called friends her first night in Soul Society, or that she wouldn't barf all over him.

Ichigo's gonna kill somebody. As long as it's not me...

"He's a liar," she mumbled.

Renji chuckled and looked down at her face. "What?"

"Yup. A liar. He said--but he didn't--and I don't care, so there." She bobbed her head once, her eyes closed.

"Are you a poet, Kurosaki-chan?" he asked the drunk girl teasingly.

She laughed and hiccuped at the same time. "Nope. And neither is Toshiro."

Renji froze. "What?"

Karin pressed her forehead against his chest.

"What?" he repeated.

"I said," she snapped, "I don't want fish! Gosh!"

Renji rolled his eyes and continued to walk, only half-dismissing her comments as the ramblings of a drunk. As he approached the 10th Division barracks, he noticed the captain waiting--apparently anxious--near the entrance. He stood when he spotted them.

"What happened?"

He eyed the younger man a moment. "She's all right. She just had a little too much too drink."

Hitsugaya pressed his palm to his forehead and sighed. He motioned for Renji to follow him in and led him to Karin's room. The redhead laid the girl on her mat and followed the young captain back into the hall, fearing the licking he knew was coming.

The tall young man's scowl was set hard, and his arms were folded tightly across his chest. He took a deep, calming breath before asking tersely, "Where's Matsumoto?"

"Back at the bar. She, ah, fell asleep."

His jaw clenched and Renji could have sworn a blizzard was about to blow in.

He wisely remained silent.

Turning around, Hitsugaya said over his shoulder, "You are dismissed."

"Yes, Hitsugaya-taicho." Renji began to leave, beginning to consider himself lucky he was still alive.

"Abarai-fukutaicho."

Renji tried not to flinch when he turned back. "Yes, Captain?"

"Keep this to yourself. I will not be responsible if Kurosaki finds out."

Renji sighed but was only slightly relieved. "Yes, Captain."

Hitsugaya returned to his office, his haori billowing behind him. He finally let go the angry breath he'd been holding in once his office door slid shut behind him and cold air swirled around him in agitated rushes. He punched his desk and ignored the sickening sound of the wood splintering beneath his white knuckles. The ink bottle toppled over, sending black blood over his paperwork, onto the tatami mats covering the floor. He wanted-needed to punch something else, but it was late; he'd have to wait.

He'd leave the mess for Matsumoto. It would be the least of her worries.

The sky was dark, he noticed, as he passed back through the breezeway. There were no stars, and there was only a half-moon out. He stopped outside her room, listened for her steady breathing. It was interrupted by a clogged snore and he heard her shift beneath her bedding. His fingernails dug into the doorframe until a dull ache began to travel up his arm.

Is this what her presence would do him from now on? Late, restless nights, waiting up, worrying like...like...what exactly? Even he wasn't sure yet.

"No!" Karin stated curtly, resolutely, and Hitsugaya froze.

Carefully, he slid open her door a crack, feeling like a real bastard. She'll probably throw a shoe at me if she's awake.

She wasn't awake. In the slit of pale moonlight, he could see Karin curled up tightly, covers kicked off of her. Her hands dug into the futon, and her face was scrunched.

"No," she said again, and Hitsugaya's brow furrowed. She was having a nightmare? That didn't sound...right. At the same time, he didn't know what he should do. Should-should he wake her? That didn't sound right, either.

She rolled over again, pressing her face deeper into her pillow. "I said no. I don't want any fish," she mumbled half-coherently, her voice growing softer as she resettled. "I'm not hungry."

Hitsugaya allowed himself to relax momentarily before rolling his eyes and shutting her door. He massaged the bridge of his nose, bating back his frustration. He knew this wasn't going to work. She hadn't even been here a day and already his nerves were raw and frayed. He hadn't been this on-edge since her brother had been deemed a ryoka and that whole affair with--

No, he wasn't going to think about that, either. He'd come up with a solution to this problem in the morning, he decided, stalking to his room. He slid the door shut with more force than he intended, and it rattled in its frame. The room echoed his quiet fury in the stark darkness.

He closed his eyes and sighed, knowing sleep would be out of his reach this night.