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Summary:: Edward and Bella are in a relationship, she's very submissive to him though which leads him to treat her as he sees fit, they have their ups and downs but Bella doesn't know how to speak her mind, she's a very timid and shy girl who clings to him and would do anything not to get him mad at her, she's fragile and Edward takes advantage of it, he knows how to use his cards on her. But they do love each other, cant live without each other, and there's a reason behind his act. Would Bella step up out of her shell and stop him before he finally breaks her or is it too late for that? Can they ever be the couple they used to be?

Tips:

FLASHBACKS ARE ON ITALYCS

They all go to Dartmouth

Author's Note; i know i shouldn't be writing another story without finishing 'to die' but i couldnt help myself. And i write this one for pure entertainment and only will write when I feel in the mood so please people don't be too pushy on me I'll try my best but I really do have a life I swear!

Author's Note 2:: VERY IMPORTANT READ: this story might have some resemblance to my other story 'start over' but it is different!

Author's Note 3:: NOT VERY IMPORTANT BUT YOU GET KUDOS IF YOU READ =D : please read carefully the lyrics on all the chapters I'll write, the lyrics are part of the story, I accommodate the story to the lyrics since those are the ones who inspired me to write the chapters, besides if you read the lyrics you'll notice my awesome taste in music :D LMAO. (DON'T MIND ME)

Chapter 1: My heart is so broken

And I've lost who I am and I can't understand why my heart is so broken

Rejecting your love, without love gone wrong, lifeless words carry on

But I know, all I know: is that the end's beginning

She rested her weight on both of her arms by the kitchen counter. She knew she had to hold her weight on something, cause if she didn't, it would only get her down on the floor crying her eyes out. He paced around her with tight lips on him; his arms crossed on his chest as he watched her from behind, waiting to get a reaction out of her. He knew it was coming and he was anticipating the moment to snap.

But she would never do such a thing.

She knew better than to ever speak her mind or raise her voice at him.

Her eyes shot closed, in fear of both opening them and letting some tears escape. He rested numb around; waiting for her to say something, to even dare to hold something against him. 'It was a fun game to watch' for him. To even see her flinch or do any small gesture; it would have made his blood boil and gave him all the right to snap.

Her breath became erratic and she felt her heart broke once again, thanks to Edward fuckin' Cullen.

She hesitated on what to do for a long time… what was she supposed to do?

She had just found Tanya coming down the stairs with that stupid grin on her perfect face; playing all innocent with a shirtless Edward down on her tail.

And Bella just stood there at the entrance door like a damn fool waiting to see how they said their goodbye's and even 'see ya laters'.

"So, that's how you can finish your report!" she turned to him with that fake smile of her, ignoring Bella who was in the same room as them and just witnessed a possible hook up between the two.

Edward's eyes rose up from the floor to her face and nodded with a grin.

"I won't forget to send back the reply" he responded with a coy smile.

Bella prevented her mind from joining the dots together, cause she didn't want to think right now, she didn't want to think Edward was playing with her.

And by 'playing' I really mean 'cheating'.

She knew his record wasn't exactly clean; never spoke it out loud, it was better that way, so she wouldn't have to hurt too much, but when she was just witnessing one of his many hook ups; it hurt like hell.

What was she supposed to do?

She was not one to voice her mind or heart. She knew better.

Knowing him; that would be the first thing he'd like for her to do and she knew better than to fall for his game. It only made it more appealing to him; the pursue and all.

"Swell!" Tanya grinned turning around to look at Bella.

"Bye, Bella" she waved and walked out.

The door closed behind her.

Bella looked up at him with a hurt expression on her face.

'Please, tell me you didn't do it again…'

She thought to herself.

His intense green eyes fell on her, his hands on his hips and those lips tight in a deep line.

She stood there like a fool waiting for him to do something, when he finally approached her and drag her face closer, by her neck, giving her a long kiss on the forehead.

"Hey, beautiful" he said casually pulling apart from her walking straight to the kitchen.

This is how they got here.

"What was she doing here?" Bella asked after a while.

"She stayed after the party, you can ask Rose" he snapped; trying a little cleverly to put it like she had just stayed with Rosalie seeing they were best friends, figures!

He had an answer for everything; it was like as if he had already planned how this was going to happen.

That she would have surprised him just hooking up with Tanya.

She knew better than to fall for that game.

"Edward…" Bella sighed, straighten herself before her tears would fall.

He encircled her just before she could say anything else. Trapping her body against the kitchen counter with his own rock-hard body and his big arms caging her; his moves were graceful as if he was trying to prove a point.

"What Bella?" he dared her to continue.

She closed her eyes tight once again moving her head to the side, to be away from his harsh voice the best she could.

"Uh?" he snapped, his voice not calm like before. The pressure he kept on her body hurried her to do something, for he was losing his patience.

She sighed in hurt, her voice sounding restrained.

"C'me here" he whispered before turning her around by her arm and pressing even more of his body against hers, his furious lips being quick in parting her mouth and his hands holding her face roughly for the kiss.

But before it could go somewhere, or even get tongues clashing, she parted instantly taking his hands away from her face.

"No…" she said in a small whisper, parting away, taking a look at his now furious black eyes.

His hand slammed against the kitchen counter close to her and his eyes blazed into hers.

She shivered a little nervous but stood her ground. It was one thing to hear rumors behind her back, but it was a total different thing to have just caught a snake jumping out of his bed barely minutes ago.

She would never and ever say it out loud; but she had this idea going around her head and he knew she did, so they were playing cat and mouse without jumping each other.

He embraced her tiny form in his big arms pulling her closer to his body.

"Let's go upstairs…" he pushed a little. Insisting and ignoring how her eyes glowed with sadness.

His deep eyes burned into hers and she held his gaze. She could read his eyes; and she knew that he was warning her not to defy him and she knew she wouldn't… but she wouldn't just let him kiss her and get over with it.

He smirked after awhile, when he knew he had the situation in the palm of his hand like he always did and she wouldn't put up any more questions.

"Now" he whispered hotly cradling her face with his hands so she would look at him, her mind hesitating and her eyes hurting. He grinned down on her pushing his lips on hers.

She refused to accept though; she squirmed away from his touch when his lips graced hers and simply took his hands away from her face.

He laughed letting her go a little too roughly, pushing her body a little making her stumble on her steps to regain her weight on her legs.

"Whatever, be a bitch" he laughed taking a glass and filling it with water as she gave him her back.

He walked out to the living room where all the family was waiting in anticipation for the moment where the screams would start, but they never came, when they saw a smirking Edward coming their way they knew how the game ended.

Like always, of course.

Bella on the other hand refused to go out to the living room and be passed as a fool. She took her purse and was adamant on walking out the door right now and out of this house for the time being… 'cause right now, she needed to go home and cry. Then she'll come back and make Edward use her once again. But right now… she needed to cry.

But she was not graceful or quiet enough in her movement, unfortunately.

Those were not her qualities at all.

"And where do you think you're going?" Edward said calmly jumping out off the couch the instant she made a turn to the door, walking towards her before her hand had any chance to reach the doorknob.

They now got everybody's full attention, once again. Nobody dared to ease the tension.

"I'm going home…" she wasn't allowed to finish her sentence though.

"Wanna bet?" he held her hand tightly on his, staring intensively at her, but she wouldn't meet his gaze.

Who I am from the start, take me home to my heart

Let me go and I will run, I will not be silenced.

When she did, she saw nothing but annoyance in his eyes. She wanted to be strong and get out of her shell for once to yell… even if not really at him, but at anyone or anything, just to get her emotions flowing. When his grip on her hand became too much to take, she squirmed out of his touch, trying to hold back tears.

With a quick move, Edward turned them around so she was now facing him. One of his arms was enough to encircle her waist and make her walk to the living room, stumbling on their steps as they did.

She didn't say anything else; she let him pull her against his lap while everybody's eyes were on her.

Edward won again.

Alice shook her head but said nothing. Jasper pulled her closer in a tight hug and kissed her forehead, whispering sweet words in her ear.

Alice was not afraid to stand up to Edward like everybody else when he got a little too rough with Bella; and that was not something Edward had approved of, so that's why Jasper kept her on check on Edward's command.

"We're leaving" Emmet came down the stairs with Rosalie on his tail as they made a dash to the door.

And it wasn't long till Jasper took this as his cue to flee taking Alice with him.

"How was Forks?" he asked hugging her from behind, his feet plopped down on the coffee table while her legs rested on the couch, his nose buried in her neck, smelling her sweet perfume.

"Wet, as usual" she mumbled looking down on their entwined hands.

"That's something I don't miss" he mumbled laughing softly.

Her weekend consisted of visiting her father, Charlie. The last time she had been to Forks, she didn't leave on good terms. Edward's been pushing her to move with him to his house since they got into Dartmouth and Charlie doesn't want that. Bella didn't want to fight Edward anymore but going against Charlie was not an option either.

She actually used Charlie as an excuse not to move in with Edward. For one, she needed time alone to breathe, she needed space and on campus in her small flat she could do that. She could write and attend to her studies. Living with Edward would be a total adventure and it's not that she didn't love her boyfriend, but sometimes he doesn't know when enough is enough. And for two… Charlie didn't like the idea either, he was very protective of his child and on his book he was still old-fashioned.

She couldn't make either of them happy; either way she always loses.

"How did it go?" he asked the unfortunate question.

"It didn't go…" she sighed when he dropped her hand not so gracefully for she knew he was already mad.

"It's not like he doesn't know you're not a virgin for fuck's sakes!" she could feel his eyes burning holes through her skull, but she wasn't about to defend her father, she knew better than to have this conversation with Edward. Let's just say he knew how to use the exact words to hurt her.

"And it's not like that's any of my fault, now, is it!?" he snapped angrily with resentment towards her.

Only to spice things up.

Bella sighed and shut her eyes in pain; refusing to let it get to her. So, Edward wasn't her first, it was still a shock to him. As if he had earned the right to be her first. He didn't approve her 'opening her legs around' like he so sweetly pointed it out to her countless of times, to anybody. But she wasn't exactly his first either.

I guess it was a big deal when it's your girlfriend you're talking about?

"I didn't promise any debut, sir" she mumbled in a soft voice playing with her own hands in her lap.

"When did you start fucking anyway, Isabella? At fifteen?" she blushed furiously and her red cheeks were mixed between embarrassment and anger.

Well, he started at 14.

He would always hold it against her; she couldn't find any words to tell him the only one that could ever remotely matter or mean something to her was him. But it seemed like Edward was haunted by a cloud of jealousy and dreams where she was with another guy, in an intimate way.

Which only made him see red.

And about her first time… well, that's another story to tell.

"How was the party?" she asked in a strained voice, being brave enough to change the subject, maybe and try to turn the tables around on him?

Yeah, but Edward was never one to be intimidated. Hell no.

He embraced the feeling, as if it was a challenge. And he always passed.

"Crazy, as usual" he smirked, mocking her previous words, knowing fully well that not giving too much away would get her mad.

She nodded holding tight of his fingers.

All this time spent in vain,

Wasted years, wasted gains, all is lost

Hope remains and this war's not over.

"Wanna go upstairs?" he asked kissing her neck, laying hot kisses all over it.

She didn't answer right away.

"Not really…"

Not in the mood.

He didn't stop kissing her neck fervently; like he was trying not to miss a spot. His hand let go of hers and moved underneath her blouse, she squirmed at his sudden unexpected touch. His strong arms held her down so it would be impossible for her to even attempt scooting away from him.

Years later and she was still somehow embarrassed to be with him.

She gripped his hand when it ventured down her thighs making her arch her back, his hand was getting the best out of her, it moved past her jeans skirt and parted her legs wildly apart with only one strong jerk.

Quickly, she closed her legs together at the new fresh of wind between her thighs, but he pulled them back apart, his mouth working down her jaw line.

She scooted away quickly and before he could throw her down and tackle her on the couch, she turned around to straddle his lap, both of his hands falling instantly on her hips keeping her in place, his head raised to take a look at her.

She licked her lips and pressed them together and he just knew what that meant. He knew her like the back of his hand; he knew she wanted to say something but was too afraid or nervous to ask.

"What?" he grinned making her fall on top of him, not liking the distance she was causing.

Her hand played with his mess of a hair, twirling it beneath her fingers and tugging at it a little in that awful kind of way he knew she loved to do.

"What?" he insisted shaking her body a little when she wouldn't answer him, he was not one to be patient.

He was the kind of guy who had to know 24/7 what was on her mind, it unnerved him when she'd left him behind. It made him anxious.

She laughed at him; he was so cute when he wanted to.

"Renee gave me tickets" she finally said, giving him those eyes that begged for him not to freak.

It's been months since the last time she saw her mother; and paying her a visit would do her good. Between pre-law school and Edward's med school, there was no much room to visit her mom. And since they were on a short break, she figured she could use the time to distract herself a little if she went and got some well-deserved tan in Phoenix.

He waited to hear more before he went into frenzy; but when she stood quiet and said nothing he gave his two cents.

"Can you get out of it?" she turned her head to the side to take a good look at him and after a while answered him.

"I don't really want to…" she said hesitating.

He nodded, parting his eyes from hers.

"So you are just taking advantage of the situation, uh?" he grinded his hips against hers, making her laugh and notice the effect she had brought in him merely minutes ago.

"You have something in mind to make me go along with this?" he smirked inching his way closer to her lips only to have her back down with her own smirk.

"It was more of a notice call, not a question" she joked. He raised her eyebrows at her.

"Yeah, right, I bet it was…"

Like she would ever be able to get out of Edward's sight for that long. Right!

She laughed pulling him closer by his face and giving him a peck, she could feel his own smirk against her lips.

"So you thought this through? How are you going to drag me into this?" his voice had a slight flirtatious tone.

She wrapped her hands around his neck and intently stared at him trying to figure out what was on his mind, she just knew Edward Cullen too damn well.

"Cause I can think of a few ways…" his hand took one of hers untangling it from his neck and bringing it closer to his belt "…you can convince me" he smirked. Her smile faded replaced by her teeth biting her lower lip.

He slipped her hand underneath his jeans, passing the waist line and going down to his crouch palming his already growing (beneath her hand) dick with the sweet and careful touch of her hand.

His eyes glowed in ecstasy, feeling the sweet tenderness of her touch and how high it could get him. She blushed but followed his lead; soon his hand left hers and rested both of his arms on her hips rocking her in place.

She ran her hand up and down his shaft while all the time keeping her eyes fixed on his; it was one of his many rules.

'Never look away from me'

The door burst open which made Bella quickly fall out of his lap and straighten herself out, Edward simply sighed and dropped his head to the armchair fixing his jeans.

"Hey, guys" Emmet roared like if he knew damn well what they were up to.

Bella looked up at him from the couch and stared at him oddly.

"Rose forgot something" he explained at the same time Edward pulled Bella between his legs and turned the TV on.

"So… you're going?" Bella asked nervously, looking at her hands in her lap, moving around to a good angle so she could snuggle closer to Edward.

He sighed while flipping the channel.

"Do you want to go?" his voice had an edge to it, but she couldn't figure out if he was totally mad. And if he was, she knew it was not against her, but at the intrusion his dearest brother just caused… or maybe he was just annoyed at her, which would be a stab to her heart, 'cause the last thing she wanted to do was have Edward to get bored of her.

That's why she felt extremely intimidated by everyone, that's why she let people step on her, like Tanya did minutes ago.

She answered his question by nodding her head.

"Then we're going"

"Edward, I just…"

"What?" he snapped in defense knowing what she wanted to say.

"I don't want any trouble, so if you don't want to go…"

"I'm going"

Hope remains and this war's not over