*Author sneaks on to site, apologizes profusely for the delay, and posts at long last.* Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own SVU (NBC and Dick Wolf do) and I am not making any money from this story.

Reaction

It takes Elliot three times longer to get back to his apartment because he keeps circling his block, unable to stop the car. His thoughts rotate like his tires.

Six. Six kids. Six.

Thirty years ago his plan was to never have children.

His father's words follow him up his building's stairs. It only takes one fuck to ruin your life. Maybe his old man had some sense after all.

He shakes his head, forcing his father's voice to quiet. This is not a fiasco. It's a blessing. Any baby is a blessing.

Elliot loves kids. He loves Olivia. There shouldn't be an issue, but with them there are always issues—major ones in this case. The fact that he knocked up his partner is only one of them.

If he were ten years younger and on his second marriage, this would be okay, even welcome. At forty-five with three children still at home that need fed, clothed and educated—not to mention the money he's paying out for his divorce settlement—things are different.

He spots a colorful finger painting on the coffee table, picks it up. Eli's lines and circles roughly resemble people. The words "LUV U DAD" are scrawled in the corner. Each letter is a different size and color. The smile that pulls his lips up and out is almost painful.

He gently touches the picture as he dials Olivia's cell phone.

"Hello?"

"What time is it?"

He hears her fumble with her alarm clock. "Four thirty. What is it?"

For a long second Elliot considers hanging up. He can't. It's apologize now or never.

"El?"

"Olivia, I don't. . .I don't want you to think that. . .." He sighs loudly into the receiver. "I'm sorry for how I reacted back there. I'm not angry, Liv."

She shifts in bed and is quiet for so long he begins to wonder if she fell asleep on him.

"I'm not ready for this to go public yet. Okay?"

When he enters the squadroom three weeks later, his captain beckons him into his office. Olivia already sits inside, back facing him.

Her plan runs through his head as he lowers himself into a chair.

Their captain examines them for several moments, eyes tired. Sometimes Elliot forgets that Cragen is old enough to be his father. Right now, it shows.

Oddly it's Olivia who speaks first. "Relax, Elliot. He knows."

"I should have known sooner," Cragen adds.

"Is this a reprimand then?" Elliot asks.

Cragen shakes his head, standing. "This meeting is to inform you that your partner is going on maternity leave immediately. You'll be partnered with Tutola until further notice."

Olivia remains silent, so Elliot asks the obvious question. "Why can't you put her on desk?"

Cragen's gaze shifts to Olivia.

She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "Doctor's orders. It's really just a precaution."

"Precaution for what?"

"My pregnancy is high-risk. For a lot of reasons."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's not your concern."

"The hell it's not." He covers the flare-up with, "You're my partner. This affects me too."

Cragen interrupts them. "The paperwork is already being processed. Argue about it on your own time. Olivia, you can go. Take care of yourself. Elliot, stay put."

His captain waits until Olivia exits the bullpen before asking, "Is it yours?"

Elliot almost forgets the plan. "Reed's."

"You don't sound happy about that." A test.

"He hurt her."

Cragen sighs, accepts the lie. "Men from my day wouldn't leave a woman to raise a child alone without feeling damn guilty."

"Reed was a bastard."

The older man nods in agreement.

"It's week sixteen. I'm due for an ultrasound."

"Do you want to know the gender?"

"Do you?"

"I only want you and the baby to be healthy."

"That wasn't my question."

"When's the appointment? I'll pick you up."

Olivia shivers from the cold jelly as the sonographer moves the wand over the softly rounded flesh of her lower abdomen. He points body parts out on the screen. But there's one body part that's noticeably missing.

She manages to hold her composure until they get to the car. That's when the first tear appears. She tries to be inconspicuous, but that only catches Elliot's attention more.

"Liv, what's wrong?"

The tear-flow increases slightly. He hands her a tissue.

"It's a girl."

That's what she's worried about? She's not concerned that her placenta is out of place, that her risk for preeclampsia is higher due to her age? Maybe her pregnancy hormones have already kicked in.

"So, you wanted a boy?" he asks.

"It's not that. The gender doesn't matter."

"Obviously it does if you're this upset."

"It's not that, okay?"

He pauses to let her breathe. "Then what?"

Her jaw clenches to keep it from trembling and her eyes squint shut. "Elliot, maybe this is a mistake. I don't know if. . ."

"Olivia, you can't start doubting yourself. Everything is going to be all right."

"You don't know that."

"You're right. I don't," he says. "But you know that I do know?"

He tilts her head with his finger under her chin until she looks at him.

"You are going to be a wonderful mom. And this little girl is going to have all the love in the world. That's what I know."

His fingers move back to play with the hair at the nape of her neck.

"What if you're wrong? What if I screw up? What if I screw her up?"

Elliot shakes his head. "I have complete faith in you. Besides, I'll be there to make sure you're doing everything right."

That last statement floats between them in the car and Olivia's eyes search his for something he can't name. Then she brings her hand to his cheek, leans in, and kisses him.

A/N: A few chapters left to wrap this up, and I'll post them all (once I write them) just in case there is anyone left out there that cares about this fic's ending. Again, I can't apologize enough for leaving my readers hanging for months with that last chapter. If I knew a way to make it up to you, I would.