A/N: I wrote this for Joey since Vash is ultra-smexy and that freaking video made it ever worse. She says "M! IT MUDT BE RATED M FOR MASIVE! AS IN MASIVE NOSEBLEEDS WILL ACCURE!!!!" Which means there is a possiblity of your nose bleeding due to sexiness. This is based off a video I saw on youtube, go find it if you want. Oh and this is just another story created due to boredum. Enjoy XP ~Kit Yami

Vash and the Gun Smex

By: Kit Yami

Hello all who read this. This is my recollection of my job which just so happens to be the greatest job in the world!

First I will introduce my owner; I hope everyone knows him since he is the greatest thing since sliced bread. His name is Vash Zwingli, yes he is Switzerland. He has beautiful golden blonde hair and emerald green eyes that could pierce the soul. Usually perched on top of his head is a white hat, I don't mind when it is off because he is hot either way. He is a bit of a recluse, but that just means I get more alone time with him. He also seems peaceful since he does not join many of the fights, but he is actually the largest producer of military strength in the world! That is my master Vash. Oh and he is a bit trigger happy, oh that makes me so happy.

Now on to introducing me, this is probably what everyone wants to know. I have no name, but I guess most people want to call me something, so just call me Vash's gun. Yes that is right, I am a gun. I am gold too. Ok enough about me, I'm not that interesting here is my job.

So I am sure most people have heard the song Sexy Back by what's his face, oh right Justin Timberlake. Well Justin what's his face certainly does not bring sexy back, but Vash does. So one time while that song was playing Vash put on the hottest show ever, I really mean it!

So first he slid me up past his package, my god have you seen his package! It is just the perfect size, oh my god, I just wanted to stay there forever! It was the biggest turn on ever! What can't a gun get turned on too?

Alright after that he slid me up his lean toned body. I could just feel the muscles under his shirt. "Run me up you again" I cried. What was even better than that is I was pulled over his throat. If only I wasn't a gun I would have left my mark on that perfect neck of his.

By this time I was so turned on that what happened next nearly killed me. He licked me! Now not one of those small little licks either I mean he seriously drew his tongue from my base to my head. "Oh Vash, lick me again!" I was screaming in pleasure. It was slow and agonizing, but oh so wonderful.

Now I was ready to explode when Vash pulled the trigger. "Yes!"

Oh I am getting so turned on by just talking about it. As you can see my job is the best in world, who else besides a cheap whore, can get this much pleasure all the time.

In the words of Kit (who I forced to write this for me)'s friend Alchery "Sticks and stones may break my bone, but Vash's gun smex excites me!"