I could hear someone calling my name but I couldn't bring myself to look up from the knife he held tightly in my shaking right hand. As the person neared me and grabbed my arms I had no choice but to lift my watery gaze slowly to look into my boss' beautiful blue eyes, which were filled with worry.

"Look at your wrist." I knew it wasn't a request. We both lowered our gazes to my bloody wrist. How could I have done that? How could I have cut my own wrist with a pocket knife? I suddenly feel dizzy.

"Horatio..." I started before I am cut off.

"I'm not going to let you do this. You're blaming yourself for this girl's death even though there was nothing you could have done. I know, its tragic, but is it really worth hurting yourself because of it? Besides what will the people who really care about you think if they found out you'd cut yourself over something that wasn't your fault? What would I do? I care about you to much to let you do this to yourself. I know its hard for you, but it will get easier."

"Promise?" I whispered in a broken voice as I lifted my eyes to look back into those deep blue eyes I always felt lost in.

"I promise." was the confident reply. I felt myself leaning in slowly until my breath was felt on the older mans lips.

"Save me."

"Always." That was all I needed to hear him say before I crash my lips into his. I closed my eyes and drop the knife from my shaky hands. I could hardly believe that it was real. So many nights I had dreamt of this moment, only for it to finally happen, under circumstances I could never have foreseen.

"I love you Horatio." I breathed dreamily. I finally had the courage to say it. And my eyes filled with tears of joy when he replied.

"I love you to Ryan."