Disclaimer: Not mine.

Warning: This is yaoi.

Summary: It's only a year after Agon left him that Sena finally understands why.

Based on two of the themes from the 30 Kisses Themes from the 30_kisses lj. Not official, not posted there.

07. superstar.

It's only a year after Agon left him that Sena finally understands why.

He didn't really make the connection, not back then. He isn't sure how that is. Maybe because he thought Agon had gone beyond that kind of childish pride. Maybe because he thought Agon was so arrogant that nothing like that could affect him so much. Or maybe because, deep down, no matter how stupid it is, Sena wanted to believe that Agon was a better person than that.

"Idiot," says Yoichi. His hand rests possessively on the back of Sena's neck. "Don't you get it? He was jealous."

Where had it started? When Sena received that scholarship to Notre Dame for his sophomore and senior years and left Enma? When he was placed in the starting line of the Fighting Irish in the two years of their miracle comeback as perfect record holders and Bowl winners? When, after two years of being Bowl MVP and a Heisman winner and being hailed as the greatest running back in the NCAA, he was first overall pick in round one of the NFL Draft?

"He couldn't stand that he never made it out of Japan and you did," explains Yoichi, without Sena having to ask. "That's why you never hear from anyone except the fucking monkey and the midget anymore. You're the only one who got out. And you didn't just get out—you have everything. How are those idiots supposed to swallow that?"

They call it the Murakami effect. The first Japanese to go from Japanese college football to NCAA Division 1 football, there was a lot of talk at first about how his unbelievable success as a player signaled a new era of Japanese players in American football. Several names consistently came up in the press and during talks at universities—Yamato. Kongo. Kakei. Akaba.

Hiruma.

But, somehow, nothing really happened, though Sena stayed the rising superstar of the pro football world, and after a while people seemed to forget that Sena was Japanese (naturalized American, now) and then all anyone mentioned about him was how short he was.

(He still gets called a traitor sometimes, when it gets brought up that he could have qualified to participate in the Olympics in the men's athletics program on the Japanese team, or how he passed on participating in the X-League and let himself get drafted by the NFL straight out of college football. His mother cried when he told her he was going to take American citizenship, but both his parents said they understood. It was the sensible thing to do, now that his life was in the United States and he only came back to Japan to visit. Sena just agreed, because he didn't know how to put into words that giving up Japanese citizenship didn't seem like such a loss now that there was nothing left for him there.)

Sena remembers how it hurt when they cut off contact with him, one by one. It was just after he came home from the Draft to find that last e-mail from Agon, the one that told him in no uncertain terms that he shouldn't bother coming back to Japan except to see his parents. The first was Yamato, and the last was Jyuumonji. Between them, everyone else, except for Raimon Taro and Kaitani Riku.

And even Monta and Riku don't talk about amefuto anymore. Now, every time he receives an e-mail from one of them, he wonders if it's the last.

(Mamori still writes. Suzuna doesn't. That seems about right.)

Sena glances at Yoichi.

Yoichi grins, baring sharp, white teeth. In his rimless glasses and gray suit, he sits back against the sofa, relaxed and predatory at the same time. He looks like the ideal millionaire corporate investor.

When he kisses Sena, he tastes like the sugarless gum he's addicted to and six years of waiting.

"Don't be stupid," says Yoichi. "I've never been ruled by pride."