When he was a young boy, he would shoot marbles and climb trees.
And once in awhile, did a pleasant wind breeze.
And young Aldos, his sinuses acting up, would sneeze.
But when he got older, oh Aldos would camp.
He would camp anywhere, never to hot or damp.
He might have been, once or twice, called a tramp.
But Aldos didn't care, so long as he had his favorite oil lamp.
But one night was not like the rest, you see.
He had a funny feeling, you know what it's like, he really really had to pee.
So as Aldos was standing there, letting his bladder drain free,
A cliff racer came up and bit him, in a sensitive place, times three.
Aldos screamed,
Trying to free his in between,
Even in the middle of nowhere, he managed to make quite a scene.
Biting a man down there is just plain mean.
They say when Aldos was free, the entire world shook.
An event so amazing, even atheists reached for a prayer book.
And if you yourself could have seen his death glare look,
I guarentee you, you would be looking for the nearest nook.
As for the cliff racers, biting his balls were their bane,
Aldos strangled each one of them, till every one had been slain.
As if to shed a tear for the man, the sky started to rain,
After such an attack, poor Aldos' genitals did not remain.
Now he hangs around Cheydinhal, as smelly as a skunk,
He drowned out his sorrow, and turned into one heck of a drunk.
So remember this story, as all good things are sunk.
Aldos Othran resigned to his lonely life, as the town punk.
AUTHORS NOTE: Don't even have a reason. Don't ask me. The cliff racer song is epic, and I just thought that I should somehow pay homeage to it.
Plus the song is friggin hilarious.
Took me half an hour to make, I, as usual, don't care if you rate or not. I don't need your opinion. Just keep this spiel in your head, you might learn a thing or two.