Authors note: the poem used in italics throughout this story is called Drowning, it is used with the permission of its author who didn't want her name tied to fanfiction.

Willow breathed in. Slowly. She wasn't entirely sure what kind of meditation thing the Wiccan group was trying, apparently they were supposed to be focusing on their internal energy to find a date for the stupid bake-sale.

This group wasn't what she expected. And now that she had Tara to do witchy-stuff with she really didn't expect to come back. Tara. The blonde witch had been on her mind all day long. Funny things she said kept popping into her head at odd moments. Like this morning at breakfast she'd been eating a bagel with Buffy and Riley, and suddenly she'd burst out laughing. Remembering when she'd mixed up one of Tara's course books with a spell book and tried to use a Latin poem as an incantation. Tara had practically fallen over apologizing and giggling and handing her the right book. Luckily Buffy and Riley had been really distracted with each other and didn't really notice all her odd behaviour and sneaking around.

Or start thinking about the spells they were doing together. Sitting late in Tara's dorm, practising magic, looking at all the books Tara had sitting around. Some spell-related, others filled with coursework. She finally had someone to share all the magic with. It was such a relief, knowing that there were other witches. I mean she had known there were other witches, but she'd never met any and that was pretty much just as bad as not knowing there were other witches. And they could practise together. She just couldn't get enough of magic, or of Tara.

She remembered a conversation they'd had earlier, a conversation she just couldn't get out of her head.

"Well I told you about the Scoobies, right?"

"Yeah, y-your friends, the ones that fight demons. "

"Well, Oz my boyfriend was a werewolf. So he used to lock himself up in the library every month to keep from hurting anyone. I used to sit and read to him. Learned pretty quick not to read anything with rabbits in it. Or small animals of any kind really, got him too excited."

"Oh." Tara shut down slightly, boyfriend, as in straight she reminded herself. But still when Willow looked at her stomach started doing flipflops. It was even worse when they did spells. When their energies were joined in magical exertion, and she could feel Willow, and felt like she was drowning in Willow totally unable to help herself.

"Well ex-boyfriend, I guess now." Willow added, "And since I'm no longer messing up spells to have my will done to get over him. I'd say I'm improving."

"Definitely." Tara smiled. She was so cute, blabbering Willow was cute.

"You ever had a boyfriend?" Willow asked in an odd tone of voice. She looked at Tara intently.

"Umm, n-n-no." Tara said slowly, this was it, Willow was on to her.

"Well, you're really pretty, there's got to have been someone. Are you just shy or-"

Tara cut her off, "I d-don't like boys," she managed to as firmly as her stutter would allow. "I'm gay." The final two words came out so softly Willow wasn't sure she heard them for a moment.

Willow continued in a slightly nervous ramble "Well that's fine. And I'm sure you've had girlfriends, or have a girlfriend and how di-" Willow cut herself off, obviously embarrassed about what she was just about to ask.

"Sort of, there was this girl once, w-w-when I was almost 18. But n-nothing really ever happened. I mean she wasn't ever really my girlfriend. She wasn't gay, she was just curious. But after that I knew what I was. "

She noticed then, that Willow wasn't looking at her in fear, but with a lot of affection.

"Okay." The redheaded witch answered her with a smile.

She looked across the room at Tara, who smiled, and rolled her eyes slightly. A half-smile playing on her face. The meeting ended and she rushed towards Tara, smiling,

"Let's get out of here and do..."

"Sure."

And with that they made their way to Tara's dorm. Which was rapidly becoming the centre of her world. Then she made Tara laugh about the wannablessedbes, and her eyes literally lit up as she laughed. She loved making her laugh. She loved everything about their time together. She just couldn't get enough of Tara Maclay.

Love not striking once

Not an instant uncontrollable longing

But rising like a tide

Before you know it you're

Drowning