Title: Torn
Summary: The Young and the Restless/Heroes crossover. Adam is torn between wanting revenge and wanting to be the man his mother would have been proud of. Who better to understand than Elle?
Pairing: Adam Wilson/Elle Bishop
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None for Heroes, 10/9/09 of Y&R.
Word Count: 1177Disclaimer: The Young and the Restless nor Heroes are owned by me, but by CBS and Tim Kring. I'm simply borrowing these characters for non-profit entertainment.
A/N: Familiar with one character and not the other? No worries. All you really need to know is that they're two sociopaths with daddy issues who both know a thing or two about imprisonment.
A/N 2: Established AW/EB universe. Adam cried. I was reminded of 3x08 of Heroes. Go with it.

The Newmans had been at the hospital for the last two days, leaving Elle alone at the ranch. Bored, irritated, impatient. She wanted her toy back. She had slept as much as she could, had even gone for a few walks around the property (carefully avoiding security, of course) but at the end of the day being in Adam's bed without Adam was becoming more and more of a cruel joke.

The most she knew of the recent events was that Victor had been shot and was waiting for a heart transplant. Beyond that the news had been sparse at best.

Elle had tried for the fifth time that day to call Adam, each time hanging up after the first ring. She wanted to talk to him, but she wanted him to come home more. What made her hang up was knowing that his family would have been suspicious enough with him having disappeared earlier. It wasn't like she could go to the hospital herself since they didn't know about her. All she could do was wait.

Night had almost fallen by the time Adam got home. His last forty-eight hours had consisted of furthering Ashley's delusions, claiming to have delivered her baby, taking Sharon's newborn and giving it to Ashley, cutting Taylor loose, nearly losing his father, nearly coming to blows with Nick and even having swiped some ashes from the local funeral home and having them sent to Sharon to further his charade.

It was easier than it should have been for him to forget Elle was there, though in truth he wasn't used to her staying at the ranch and he hadn't seen her since Billy had shown up to give him and Ashley the news about Patty having shot Victor.

Had it really only been two and a half days since then?

Glancing to the mirror in the hall at the bottom of the stairs, Adam barely recognized the man he saw and this time his tunnel vision had nothing to do with it. He thought of his mother, remembering when he was getting ready to leave for Harvard. Adam still wanted to be the man that his mother would be proud to call her son. He knew that in this last year he had become anything but and all because of the faith she'd had in Victor.

Slowly he made his way up the stairs to his room, having to force his feet with every step. He wanted to lay down, he wanted to hide. Most of all he wanted to forget. But he only got halfway up the staircase before he couldn't will his body to move. Too many emotions overcame him and he sank to the steps, tears already welling in his blues.

Elle hadn't heard the door open, but she knew she was hearing a voice. A familiar, male voice repeating again and again that he was sorry. The sobs that followed caused her to get up and peer down the hall. The voice couldn't be Victor's. She thought of Nick but that didn't make sense. She had no idea Nick had a reason to cry like that. Well, unless Victor had died and Adam hadn't called to tell her. With another few steps she saw that her initial instinct was right.

Adam was apologizing to his mother when she walked towards him rather than calling for his mother. Elle was thankful for the small favor. She knew her lover had been left emotionally damaged by his mother's death and psychologically damaged thanks to Victor, but there had to be a limit somewhere.

"Hey," she called softly to him.

"Elle?" He blinked. Was she really there? Could he even tell what was real now?

She took a seat on the step beside where he was reclining against the wall and moved as close as she could. "I'm here. What's wrong? Did Victor - ?"

"You were right, Elle. You were right," he sobbed as he tried to sit up to hug her.

Elle met him more than halfway and held him. "About what?"

"I am a monster."

Elle hardly knew where to begin. Two days ago Adam had left with Billy and Ashley to see Victor in the hospital, she had heard from him three times in the last forty-eight hours and now he was openly crying in her arms.

"What happened, Adam? Why - ?"

"I've done - I can't even -"

"Come on," she told him, trying to help him up. Being nearly half his size was usually fun, this clearly wouldn't be one of those times.

Adam was beginning to get a handle on his emotions by the time they reached his bedroom. He let Elle sit him down on the bed and watched as she moved to what had become her side of it.

"What did you do? What happened at the hospital?"

"You know what I've done to Ashley." It wasn't a question so he didn't wait for her to respond. "Right after Victor was shot she agreed to check herself into a mental hospital. I went with her and Jack. A patient escaped, with my help, and sent the place into lockdown. I had to convince Ashley she'd had her non-existent baby and that I'd even delivered it." When he could sense that Elle was still with him, he went on to tell her about Sharon and how Dr. Taylor was there, how he had taken Faith from the doctor's arms and placed her in Ashley's only seconds later. From there he talked about his father, how he had lived through the surgery and then finished with his final act of the day. The funeral home, the ashes.

Elle couldn't be surprised, she knew Adam well enough to know he would do anything to follow through on his quest for vengeance. Hell, that was half of the attraction - his drive and determination, not to mention his strong need for revenge when he was betrayed. She knew then what he had meant back on the stairs. She had called him a monster once, ironically she had meant it as a compliment, that he was a monster like her.

"Adam, you can't let the guilt get to you. If you do everything you've worked for will come crashing down, everything you've done will be for nothing. You'll be cast out worse than before, thrown back in jail and those you've wanted to see destroyed will be going on as though nothing ever happened, as though you never existed. You can't let them win."

Adam looked to her. He knew she was right. And that she was speaking from experience. With a deep breath he knew he had cried his last tears of the day. The plans were already in motion and despite a deep-seeded want to stop them he knew he couldn't and dwelling on that wouldn't do him any good. He could only continue to watch as the events played out and keep hoping that his luck would hold out.

The End