Authors Note: I had this idea before reading any of CaterinaCarmela's post 'Red Badge' fics. That being said, any similarities are purely coincidental. I probably shouldn't have even said anything. This will be a muilti chapter fic because I seem to be incapable of doing anything else.

Disclaimer: I read a very interesting article the other day on the myth behind the "Moonlighters" theory; you know the one that says if you get your male and female leads together you're going to kill the show. I'm now convinced that it could work. Bruno Heller still doesn't want them to get together. Proof positive that I don't own the show.

SPOILERS FOR AND UP TO "RED BADGE" let's just assume that if it's in the show its fair game.

NOTHING ELSE 1

He sat on her front porch, not sure why he was here, but knowing that she would be coming and that was what was important. He saw her car pull up, it was too late to change his mind now, she had seen him. He watched as she checked her gun, an unconscious action to seeing a shadowy figure loitering on her porch.

It had been an impulsive action, showing up at her house. After he'd realized that Sam was in love with Lisbon, after he realized that he couldn't have that. After she told him that she thought the guy in the mail room was hot. That, and he had watched her dance around her living room for an hour in that old football jersey, and he was strung up and needed to talk to someone.

He watched her come closer. She still hadn't realized it was him, her own fault for not turning on her porch light. Her bag was held lightly in her left hand, so she could drop in at a moment's notice if necessary, her right hand hovered around the holster on her waist, imperceptible to all but him.

"What is it about the mail room guy that makes him so hot?"

"Jane?" She squinted her eyes in the darkness realizing that it was him. Her right hand dropped, her left hand grasped her bag tighter. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you." What else would he be doing sitting on her front porch step.

"I can see that, that still doesn't tell me why you're sitting on my front porch at close to midnight."

"You didn't answer my question, why is the mail room guy hot?"

"He's young, muscular, blond hair, blue eyes, cute, and when he comes around bringing the mail he always smells good and smiles."

Jane nodded. He was blond, he smiled, he was cute. So he wasn't blue eyed, but his green eyes could pick up a blue tint if he wore the right color, and he wasn't particularly muscular, but he could smile like no body's business, and he did that now.

"What about Bosco?"

"Bosco?" She looked at him like he was crazy, and walked past him to unlock her door. He didn't wait for an invitation, just followed her inside and shut the door.

"He's in love you. He's probably been in love with you since you were his trainee back in San Francisco. It probably kills him that you won't have him because he's married."

"Yeah right. Don't worry Jane. I know all about Bosco. He's anything but faithful to his wife. He's got a thing for the young ones, if I were you, I'd be warning Rigsby to keep a closer eye on Van Pelt."

Jane gave her an odd look as she placed her keys and bag on the table by the door. "Go ahead and sit down, make yourself comfortable, I'm going to get out of my work clothes."

"OK?" This was a bit odd, but he decided to go with it. Lisbon was probably going to let into him later, string him along now for a great pay out down the road. That did seem like something she would do, something she had probably picked up from him. How many times had he done the same thing, and tonight, talking her into doing the whole charade to catch that psychopathic doctor…

A noise on the stairs caused him to turn his head and see her walking in that same football jersey that she had worn earlier. Now it was his turn to question. "Lisbon? What-"

"You know Jane, I was thinking about what you said earlier. About Bosco being in love with me. I think you're jealous. You always are when there are other men around who show an interest in me. Way is that?"

Jane shifted in his chair, the same one she had sat in that afternoon, the same on in which she had admitted to dancing along to the Spice Girls CD that was hidden on her book shelf. "I just want to make sure you're ok, I know your brothers all live out of town, and I just want the best for you."

Lisbon shook her head at his sadly. "You don't expect me to believe that do you Patrick?"

Patrick? "Lisbon, are you ok? You didn't drink anymore of the good doctors' coffee did you?"

She sauntered, for that was the only word for it, towards him. "Nope."

The jersey rid up slightly as she stretched on tippy toes in front of him, not high enough to show anything, but high enough to cause him to sweat. "Lisbon, what are you doing?"

"We both know there's only one reason you showed up here tonight, you want me. Watching me dance around in this shirt and nothing else…you don't think I was doing it for the doctor do you?"

Nothing else? "That's right Patrick, nothing else, I know you've wanted to get your hands on me from the first time I opened the door for you tonight."

"Teresa…" He trailed off as she leaned over him. The neck of the jersey just high enough that he can't see down it. She put a hand on each arm of the chair, pinning him in, keeping him from escaping, not that he'd want to.

He could feel her breath on his skin, legs straddling his on the chair, good thing it's so deep, only way they both would fit, he reached up to touch her…

BAM

Startled Jane jumped, he wasn't at Lisbon's apartment, he was at the CBI building, on his worn leather sofa. The sound he heard had been the janitor banging his cart through the hallway. Jane looked down at his pants, not good. He hadn't had a dream that vivid in ages. And he hadn't had a dream like that about someone other than his wife in ten years at least, probably longer.

He sat more comfortable on the sofa, needing to calm down before he could go anywhere, but where would he go? He noticed that the light to Lisbon's office was out; she'd obviously gone home while he was sleeping. He thought back to his dream and dream Lisbon, sexy as hell, as always. He thought about the last time he had seen her that day, laughing over his revelation that Sam Bosco was in love with her, his last lingering glance at her and he knew just what he was going to do.