Caution: There is... sort of... a lemon. I chickened out okay? Gosh.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom hearts or anything mentioned, though I don't think I mentioned anything this time. D:

Chapter Four:

I woke up with a fucking son of a bitch worth of a headache and all I wanted to do was rip someone's fucking head off.

I am never touching another stupid alcoholic beverage anymore. What the hell even happened?! I remember when me and Axel- Oh yeah.

That's right I fucking confessed that I'm completely infatuated with him and pretty much wanted to get inside his pants. This is just fucking great.

You know what makes it worse? I don't think he really likes me. This is fucking perfect.

Good fucking morning.

--

We:

We woke up with a bang.

"Hello is anybody home?" a man called from the entrance of this unfamiliar apartment. Axel climbed out of bed with a groan before leaving the room and moved towards the living room. Feeling alone, I pull the abnormally heavy and annoying blankets off of my body to follow them. Axel and this man, I think he said his name was Xigbar, were drinking coffee while watching the news.

"Morning, sunshine," Xigbar greets me while holding up his cup with a smirk. I ruffle my hair awkwardly at the entrance not really knowing what else I could do.

Axel patted the couch next to him to gesture for me to sit next to him. With a plop, I plant my ass next to Axel and watch the news.

"Kidnapping occurred Christmas Eve of an adolescent inside of his own home. The young man was last seen my his family stuffed in a bag and thrown out the window. The kidnapper had a hood on so he was unseen. We were told that the kidnapper was extremely thin and tall and the boy that was kidnapped had short blond hair and dark clothing. If you see or hear anything about this please call the police immediately-"

Axel turned of the TV with a fit of laughter and smiled at me. I stared at him with a frown. "See Roxas, they do care!" he exclaims. Xigbar chuckles slightly and leaned back on the couch.

"So Axel, when the police capture you and question you, please, I hope that you do not tell them who gave you a place to stay, okay?" Xigbar jokes. I let out a groan and Axel laughs. Xigbar is one less person to look for help in my escape, I guess.

We sit there in silence, a very awkward and displeasing one that it, in fact, cause me to feel uneasy and crowded. I want to slap Axel for turning off the damn television.

Xigbar stood up, Axel followed and they stared at me expecting for me to follow in suite. I stared at them for a few seconds then turned on the TV causing Axel to grunt and Xigbar to proceed towards the kitchen.

"Hey Xigbar, can I use your shower?" I asked him. Xigbar nodded his head towards the direction if the bathroom. Indicating for me to go and do whatever. Like he honestly cares what I do. I look closely at his scar on his face and the eye patch and felt a little terrified of this man. He seems like one into gang fights or something.

I nodded my head in thanks and left to use the shower. While the water heated up, I grabbed some of Axel's clothing – Because mine obviously are not present in this new household – and a towel, and placed then on the toilet seat next to the shower.

Once the water reached a warm and relaxing temperature, I slightly raised my right foot enough to reach the inside of the shower to test the water before jumping fully inside, satisfied with the feeling.

I stared through the glass shower doors, and felt uneasy showering in this place, but the running water eased my headache just a little.

Axel knocked on the door saying loudly, "Xigbar and I will e leaving to the store to pick up some coffee," though the sound of the running shower clouded his voice to a mere whisper that danced around in the heated air of the bathroom and into my ears, where I accepted them with a jump- my god, that sounds really gay even for me.

I let out an assuring grunt and waited for him to leave. After a few eerie seconds, I heard the slam of the front door to tell me that they're gone now. With just that one slam, they are leaving me alone with the sound of the shower and the eerie steam clouding up the glass shower doors.

With just a slam they left me alone with my thoughts.

I closed my eyes and began to think of what to do but the sound of the running shower and the awkward silence of the house made me feel more alone than ever.

"Sora, I don't know what to do!" I shouted to an imaginary image of my brother. "I confessed to a man, when I'm almost certain that he doesn't like me. He just seemed so angry and I don't know what to do."

The thought of me talking to myself seemed crazier than cutting off someone's head, but right now all I really care about is sorting out my thoughts in a productive way. "I'm tired of feeling alone and unloved. But at the same time I don't want to set myself up for heartache, you know?" I lower my voice to a small whisper, still feeling slightly self-conscious even though I know that I am completely alone in this house, resting my head against the tiled wall of the shower. "I'll stay with Axel for now, but I won't try to make it more than a kidnapper and kidnapped situation, or at most just a simple friendship. I'm tired of making the first move.

"I didn't even know that I liked men, Sora," I continued as another thought entered my head at sudden. I mean you like Riku, but does it feel the same way for you and him as it does for Axel and me? Does it make you feel alone? I mean, I understand that I just met Axel…

"I only met him a few weeks before the break and I admit I caught myself staring at I'm a few times... But when he took me away from you against my will I truly began to realize these small yet vital things. Something about sleeping next to a perverted man makes you realize these things, Sora. I hate it. I hate every minute in this horrid world right now."

I put the head and shoulder's two in one shampoo into my hair to relax myself and let an idea come to me. "I wish you were here, Sora." with a sigh, I rinsed my hair and closed my eyes. "I'll just wait for love to find me."

It's as simple as that. I choose not to fight for what I want.

Maybe, things won't be so cruel- As if that will ever happen.

--

Shouldn't:

Xigbar and I, Axel, went to the grocery store down the street from the apartment to buy coffee. I slammed the door tight to make sure that Roxas knew that he was alone.

"So, tell me how things are going with your little kidnapping issue? Could you not convince him to hang with you or something, Axel?" Xigbar asks me after a few dying moments passed as we waited in the elevator with an elderly couple.

"Haha, no, it was just so much more fun to stuff him in a bag and throw him out the window and ruin some perfectly fine shrubbery." The old man stared at me in shock from my words as more people entered the elevator.

"I'd think he'd say otherwise. He didn't seem to keen to be near you this morning."

"I blame the hangover," I reply with a smirk, remembering last night made me a little nauseous. We walked outside the apartment building, and continued onwards down the street.

Xigbar raised an eyebrow at me and I gave him a cheeky grin. "He did most of the drinking so it didn't affect me that much."

Xigbar laughed and walked inside the grocery store, not waiting to hold the door open for me. I ran behind him to catch up as we walked down the multiple lanes.

"So did you make any progress?" he asks, starting up a simple conversation on the matter at hand; our bet. I twirled my thumbs and thought back to last night when I promised that I wouldn't tell anyone about the fact that Roxas pretty much confessed and I let out a sigh.

"We kissed, that's it. He still loathes my presence around him and wishes for a brief yet painful death for me, got it memorized?" I said, knowing that some of this is probably true. Despite the fact that I don't like Roxas, I still like him as a friend. I can't just break a friend's promise, you know?

Xigbar grunts and hands me a large container of instant coffee to me.

"Well, last night at poker we decided that it was probably too hard to get the words 'I love you' come out of his emo little mouth. So you just need to get him drunk enough to sleep with you. Have fun!" he says with a small winning grin before proceeded to the exit leaving me to pay for the coffee with whatever cash was left in my pockets.

Searching down the isles for the correct path to get to a cashier that was closest to the exit, I grabbed a bag of chips to share with Roxas due to some strange need to be friendly.

I thought back to last night and nearly barfed. I rushed to the cashier and handed her a twenty and got her to ring up the coffee. Just the thought of kissing Roxas, let alone any man what-so-ever, makes me want to puke.

Needing a distraction, I smiled at the cashier. She had brown wavy hair that reached her shoulders and her orange clothes seemed casual under her little work apron.

"Well hello there, miss," I greet her with a grin, trying to distract myself with images.

"Hello, sir. How is your day today?" she asks, trying to make small talk as she tries to find the barcode.

"I'm doing rather well, thank you." I casually leaned forward, placing my elbows on the counter and rested my head upon my hand. "So, what's your name?" I ask her.

"Axel, I'm in your class. It's me, Olette?" she says, expecting me to remember.

"Oh, Olette, I totally forgot about you!" I say with a grin, pretending like I actually remember her when I truly didn't. "Why are you at work during the break?"

"We get more pay- hey, Axel, have you heard what happened to Roxas?" She asked me, I let out a little cough and stared at the counter awkwardly.

"Yeah, I heard he got kidnapped. Have you heard anything about it? I'm a little worried," I say with a worried tone, to try to convince her that I am worried and have no idea what she's talking about.

She leaned closely to be so that nobody else can hear. "Sora's kind of pissed. He thinks that Roxas is just running away. He said that as soon as Roxas sets one foot inside the house, Sora will personally make him regret ever leaving. I kind of agree with Sora's thought though, you know how emo Roxas can get."

I nodded my head with a laugh. "But what about the person that threw him out a window? Doesn't that say something?"

"Maybe that was just his big plan on making it seem like he's NOT allowed to go home due to some wall or something blocking the way – i.e. Kidnapping – when really he just wants a little time to himself. Those are just the ideas Demyx threw out there, though."

I let out a sigh. Roxas made quite the reputation on his friends. "I was totally excited on spending my break with him," I say with a sad smile.

"I wonder what he's doing right now," She thought allowed. The image of a naked Roxas in the shower filled my head and I gagged a bit, took the instant coffee and ran out the door leaving my 16 dollars of change for her. She waved goodbye with a raised eyebrow and I tried to play it off as if nothing happened.

I leaned over the sidewalk and puked in the bushes next to me. The people around me immediately backed away from me.

With all my will, I push myself forward back to Xigbar's place.

"Fuck this," I mumble to myself. I start to walk home, ignoring the beautiful chunks I left and walked home, trying to look strong. "Fuck, I swore. Fucking son of a bitch, I fucking hate Roxas and his fucking rules… Fuck."

--

Do:

Because of my stupid rule and Axel's stupid consequence, I decided not to swear at all this break. That's the thought I had as I stubbed my toe against the toilet getting out of the shower, stubbed it then against the door and fell face first into the bathroom sink. I let out a long string of profanities and couldn't stop myself when Axel came inside the house.

He ran to the bathroom, so I threw on a bathrobe as quickly as possible to have the least bit of dignity left. He opened the door into my face and I screamed out as loudly as I could, "OH FUCK ME," which caused a long string of laughter to come from Axel's mouth.

With a broken toe, I did the smart thing and kicked Axel's shin – with my damn broken toe.

"Roxas, you calm down before you kill yourself," Axel says, trying to calm down his laughter. I grumbled and limped out the door into the living room with Axel following me.

I sat down on the couch awkwardly, after tightening my bathrobe, and stared at my now swelling big toe. Axel grabbed some ice from the freezer. He grabbed my legs and placed them on my lap, making me lay down sideways on the couch. "Ah, th-that's cold…" I muttered with a gasp. Axel's face turned red and he stared down at my feet awkwardly.

"It's not broken, it's just… in a lot of pain," he says, uncertain as to what you call it.

"Yeah, okay doctor."

"Don't be snappy, Roxas, I'm just trying to help you."

I wiggled my toes near his face angrily and leaned back. Axel flicked my good foot away from his face and rested his arm on the back of the couch.

We sat there in an awkward silence, both of us staring at my one injured toe. "You know, I heard you swearing when I entered the house. What happened to our rules?" Axel asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Hey, like you never swear."

"Let me ask you, why make that rule? I mean it's not like we're little kids or anything," Axel asks me, I stare at him blankly while trying to figure out why.

"I guess it's like an early new year's resolution."

Axel pulled me up on his lap and grinned at me. I blushed and looked away, confused by his actions. "Then I guess we need to keep to it, right?" He said before he kissed me. I kissed him back even though every inch of my being told me not to and that it goes against everything that I promised myself.

I wanted to hit Axel for playing with me like this, for making me feel wanted when I'm probably not. I wanted to hit him for stealing me away from my uncomplicated life. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I grabbed his long red hair and used it to pull him closer to me, and ignored the wet tears that were streaming down my face onto his.

I felt his hands touch my bare chest and hesitating, probably in realization that I'm wearing just a robe. I bit his lip, nervously but anxious, and he bit mine back trying to take lead. His tongue in my mouth, started to dance around so I followed each step of the way. His hands reached around my chest to my back and pulled me against him as he laid me down on the couch and he was on top. I moved my leg slightly, trying to cover myself more but he let out a little squeak thinking I was aiming for something else so I started to blush.

He stopped his kiss and went for my neck, where he bit and kissed leaving me to moan like an idiot. I wanted to hit him and tell him to stay away from me, but I couldn't. He was so warm…

His hands trailed down my chest and to my thighs where I let out a little squeak in surprise. Axel chuckled and I shivered from the feeling of his breath on my neck.

"Are you really happy, Roxas?" Axel asks, kissing my neck.

My distracted mind tried to process an answer. "Maybe," is the only thing I could say? I'm pathetic.

Axel moved up from kissing my neck and stared at me in the eyes. I looked away feeling stupid. "What makes you happy?" He asks me, curiously before feeling up my chest.

Your hands touching me, they make me happy. "I don't know."

He bent down and started to kiss my neck again. "I want to make you happy, Roxas. Give me something to do," He continued to kiss from my neck and down to my chest, taking off the robe from my arms so that it's only covering… you know.

"W-who said I'm n-not happy?" I ask him, trying not to let out a moan from his touch.

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow and I glared at him. "I was talking to Olette today, she kept talking about how lonely and emo you are." He reached my nipples and I let out a moan. He laughed and continued to kiss me.

"Well what does she know? I'm a happy person," I state quickly. He continued to kiss me, only slower and more hesitant.

"That's why your brother things you ran away? You made quite the reputation, you know."

My eyes trailed down to the front door, wanting to run away. My own brother doesn't trust me anymore. "Go fuck yourself."

"Only if you give me some help with that, babe," he said with a wink. I got really angry, so I grabbed his shirt and forcefully unbuttoned it.

He let out a laugh, and gave me a kiss on the lips. "Why do you make me so confused?" I asked him angrily, throwing his shirt on the floor.

Axel smirked and continued to kiss me, ignoring my question. He grinded against my lap and I let out a large gasp. He took off my robe and threw it on the floor leaving me completely naked and vulnerable. I wanted to throw him off me and cry, but I couldn't. Instead I cried with him touching me.

He wiped away my tears as I took off his belt. "You think this is happiness?" he asks, while wiping the tears.

I shook my head angrily and threw the belt away, hearing it snap against the floor. With shaky and nervous hands I unbuckled his pants and tried to pull them off of him. Axel sighed and helped me by taking them off.

"Tell me what you want and I'll give you anything in the world," Axel says demandingly.

I stared at him in the eyes and let my tears blur my eyesight. "I want to hit you, I want to punch you, and I want you to feel pain. I want you to feel what you make me feel, and that's unbearable pain. You know what I want? I want you, Axel. I want you to go die in a hole."

Axel let out a sigh and bit my ear. "Is that truly what you want?" he whispered in my ear.

I shook my head in defeat. "Just fuck me already," I told him.

"Tell me you want it first, Roxas," he says demandingly. I shivered and froze with his breath against my ear and blanked out.

"I… I want you to make me happy," I told him. Axel stared at me with a shocked face before he kissed me.

"I'm all yours, babe. Got it memorized?" he said, before throwing his boxers on the floor.

I wanted to curl into a ball and cry for giving in to him, but I couldn't. I was preoccupied.

--

This:

My ass hurts, a lot.

I changed into my clothes after we were done and sat down awkwardly on the couch. I could tell something was up with Axel because behind his smirk, he had another look that I couldn't read.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask Axel. He slowly looks at me and then stares at the floor.

"Xigbar's going to have to burn this couch," he mutters under his breath with a laugh. I sat there blankly and willed myself to loathe his very presence in this room. That's all he has to say about this?

"You're an idiot," I snap at him. Axel looks at me in startle and I glare into his eyes.

"What?" he asks me.

I cleared my throat and snapped a little inside. "You heard me, asshole. You're an idiot. I hate you and I wish you'd just leave me alone!" I shouted, hearing my own angry voice echo back into my ears startled me of how I sounded.

"What's wrong?" Axel asks, slightly annoyed.

I leaned close to him and clenched his shirt. "I want you out of my head!" I shouted. Axel put his hands up in defense.

He obviously didn't know what was going on, and I didn't either. I just snapped at him. "I don't want this, I am not ready for this, you are not needed and I wish you would just go away! You ruined my life! I wanted to get Sora something special for his birthday, but that was ruined. I wanted to have a normal life, with a wife and two kids. Then mister biggest asshole came along and ruined it for me! Why don't you just leave me the hell alone?"

Axel looked at me incredibly sorry. "W-what d-do you mean?"

"I mean that after everything we just did you can just sit here and laugh with some stupid smirk to hide the fact that you probably just used me or something! You know what would be nice? A simple 'how was your day' and not just 'let's go fuck on Xigbar's couch'. Why don't you just shove your fist up your ass while you're at it?"

Axel stared at the floor in silence. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? Using me? Making me feel like a complete and total idiot? You better be sorry, because after all of this, when I go home, I will be scarred. I can't even look myself in the mirror. You drive me crazy; I just want to rip out all of my hair!"

"What are you trying to say with all this?" he asks me, with a large hint of sadness in his voice.

"What I'm trying to say is that I need you to make me happy, but every time I get a god damn glimpse of happiness you get in the way and anger me! You're the one who told me that you wanted me to be happy, so make me happy!" I shouted with tears falling down my eyes.

Axel wiped away my tears and looked at me blankly. "This is so stupid."

With a sigh, I calmed myself. "Tell me the truth about everything and why you really did this."

Axel looked at me sadly and kissed my forehead.

"That wasn't an answer."

"Fine, you want the truth? I made a bet with some people that I could make you a happy person, that I could make you smile and laugh. I made a bet that you would fall in love with me. If I win, I get a wad of cash then I get to do whatever I want with you; dump you, throw you away, or keep you. I took that bet, Roxas. Here I am: I succeeded in sleeping with you; that was one of the new options. I feel like shit for lying to you, but you know what? You need me, so I'm here. I'm a traitor but I won't back down from this bet until it's complete. I want you to laugh and smile with me."

"Are you even gay?" I asked him.

"I wasn't but… who knows what happens." I punched him in the face.

Then I regretted ever snapping at Axel. I burst into tears and ran into the room. I gathered whatever was mind and ran out the door leaving Axel behind me shouting my name.

This is the worst day of my life. I just got played.

Fuck you, Axel. I wish you died.

AN: My ceiling leaked from my upstairs neighbor's toilet. I have stomach flu, exams are coming up, I have 4 summatives due in the same week. Those are my excuses as to why this is late. Though, I did write almost all of this. My computer got a virus and I didn't back up in time. I mean I backed up my stuff from before, but it was all like two chapters behind. This was originally where they were going to go shopping on boxing day, but I decided to make Roxas leave the place a bit. C:

I need to go to bed now. I think I might puke. Sorry for the errors, I lost my glasses so it's hard to read what I wrote XD