I know, I know, I am a couple days late. I'm so sorry. My grandfather has been in the hospital and I'm the only RN in the family so it's been my responsibility to coordinate care. As I am typing up this chapter I'm listening to Iron & Wine's album "The Shepherds Dog." I am alternating between bites of a peanut butter (Jiff of course) and sugarless apricot preserve sandwich on wheat and tomato bisque. It is quite good. You can skip this if I am boring you. I won't be mad. BUT, before you stop paying attention please take a moment to visit Bexxyy's page (a link is on my profile) and vote for this story "Heart Brawl" on her poll for the Paul imprint contest. If you like it please let her know by voting. I would greatly appreciate it.

On another note, many of you have expressed concern as to whether Bella will end up with Paul and want it to happen soon. All I can say to that is to keep reading. I promise you won't be disappointed. *wink, wink* Others of you also express concerns about Jacob's love life. I will give another vague answer and say keep reading. I am not going to write about the guy getting the girl and them riding off into the sunset in only the first few chapters. They gotta get to that sunset first, I mean c'mon we are just getting started; they haven't even touched breakfast yet.

Song for this Chapter: Freedom by Akon

In this story, Bella didn't go to find the meadow by herself so she never saw Laurent because she was too busy working at Mel's Pizza Parlor, throwing herself into homework or driving around La Push to worry about an old hangout with her Ex-Vamptard. (Sorry Edward fans, I just don't like him). Okay enough outta my blabber-gobble hole.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, S.M. does however. If I owned them I would have placed a certain leading lady with a certain man-wolf-boy and they would be waking up in a mountain cabin somewhere in the Rockies as we speak.

The Good-Stuff starts here:

Wednesday April 9th 10:00 a.m.

(BPOV)

I had some big decisions to make and I had to make them fast.

I got undressed and into the shower. I noticed a dull aching in my chest below my necklace, but excused it as being heartburn. I had eaten a couple slices of pizza late last night, and I made a mental note not to eat that late again.

The warm water soothed away anything else but this moment. It was nice to think about nothing. When the hot water began to turn cold, I knew I had to get out and face the day. I dried off and turban wrapped a towel around my head. I dressed in my favorite jeans and an old comfy flannel shirt of Charlie's. When I had finally gotten ready I walked down stairs and saw Jared sitting at the kitchen table reading Charlie's paper.

I had decided to stay around the house today. I could feign being sick through Friday and start my Spring Break early. There wasn't much going on at school this week. We were just finishing up assignments and a couple school projects and turning them in before our week long sabbatical.

Since I hadn't been doing anything in the last few weeks but work, and school, I had finished all my assignments early and turned them in this past Monday. I was thankful to have the excuse to stay at home.

I always worked my problems out through cleaning. It was the monotonous rhythm of scrubbing a sink, or mopping a floor that helped me focus on the issues at hand and think them through rationally. I know I sound like a forty-five year old house maid but, I'm ok with that, it's what works.

As I entered the kitchen Jared glanced up at me with a sheepish look on his face. "Is it ok that I'm in here Bella? Embry said you wouldn't mind."

"No, it's ok that you're here. Charlie's sleeping at the station and won't be home until later this afternoon. Do you want something to eat?"

"Uhm, sure. I mean I ate a bowl of Capt. Crunch at Kim's about thirty minutes ago, but I could definitely eat again." He was quiet, and seemed like he wanted to say more, but was restraining himself.

I cooked some toast and scrambled about half a dozen eggs while we listened to a local radio station on the radio I kept on top of the refrigerator. When I was done, I handed him a plate and accidentally grazed his hand with mine. I was startled at how hot his hands were. It reminded me of the night Jacob had to rush home after we returned from watching a movie in Port Angeles. Jake's skin had felt like that, as if he were burning up.

"Jared you feel like you have a fever. Are you sure you're not sick? You don't have to be here, I'm ok by myself. Been doing it for years you know?" He smirked, and shook his head.

"Nah, I'm good. I guess you didn't get all the details about us last night did you?"

I gave him a puzzled look, and he continued.

"Okay, let's see if I can fill in the gaps. Stop me if you have a question."

He then went on to explain that werewolves tend to run a higher temperature usually around 108.9, something to do with their metabolism and it helping their bodies heal faster. They are able to heal almost immediately after an injury unless it's a bad one, then it takes couple of days recuperation time.

Physically, they all mature fast which explained their massive size. They consume enormous amounts of calories a day in order to have enough energy to function. In wolf form they run at speeds of 70 mph and in human about 60 mph. Although some of the wolves were faster than others. When in wolf form the pack can see and hear one another's thoughts. Jared's face conveyed annoyance at the mention of this fact, and I couldn't blame him.

I thought back to when Edward said he wasn't able to hear my thoughts with his ability, and was thankful that I had a shield of sorts protecting the inner workings of Bella Swan. It must be hell for four other guys to know your deepest darkest thoughts.

He also went on to say that they could hear acutely well. Even down to heartbeat of those around them and the movement of insects in the grass outside.

He got a goofy grin and a faraway look on his face that reminded me of how I used to look with Edward when he talked about how Kim can't hide anything from him because he'd learned to pick up on the tiniest most subtle hitches in her heartbeats and breaths if she were lying. He'd used this knowledge to foil her plans for his Surprise birthday party last November. He seemed to like surprises less than I did, if that were possible. He said she had been furious with him.

After we laughed a bit about some other antics he uses to annoy Kim with, he went on. He said that they can sense vampires by smell. Jared explained that, to a wolf's nose they smell like a bag of old garbage full of fish and used cat litter that someone had tried to cover with a cheap floral scented room spray. I wanted to protest and let him know that they never smelled anything less than wonderful to me, but I thought better of it. I just let him carry on. When he was finished he asked me if I had any other questions. I thought for a minute while he scraped his plate clean of his remaining second-breakfast.

"I have three questions." I stated. He nodded for me to go on.

"One. Why do you all have cropped hair?"

"Oh, well when we phase, as you saw last night or, er, this morning, we are covered in fur. We found out that the longer our hair is on our heads in human form, the longer it will be on our wolf-selves. It's just easier to have short hair to prevent getting snagged on sticks and having a head full of leaves by the time we phase back."

I nodded in understanding.

"Okay, question two. "Why do you think imprinting exists?"

His shoulders slumped, and he let out a gust of a sigh.

"This is where Sam and I differ. The legends don't say exactly why it exists; only that it does exist. We were led to believe it was rare according to the number of imprints in previous packs, but it's obviously not, at least not for our pack. I believe that imprinting is when two soul mates meet and recognize that they are made for each other, like fate. That is why when two wolves imprinted on you it kind of goes against my theory. If we are all supposed to have one soul mate, how can two imprint on one. The whole purpose behind soul mates it to find that one other missing piece to your soul in another person. Two pieces trying to fit into one don't work. I mean, I know it sounds sappy, but I can't explain how deeply I feel for Kim. Actually, the amount of love I have for her goes beyond all feeling. It's like every part of her soul has been fused to mine, as if we are no longer two pieces but one that can never be separated again. Just the thought of us not being together makes me feel like I am ripping apart my insides with a dull spoon. Sam thinks differently. He does acknowledges that he loves Emily with everything he has and feels the same about Emily as I do about Kim, but he thinks the purpose of imprinting is to breed more and better wolves. That it's when a wolf meets his mate he senses that she is his perfect genetic match. He is attracted to her by pheromones that she unknowingly emits. Only a wolf can sense these pheromones. He thinks that is why I never noticed Kim, who had been in school with me since Kindergarten and sat in the desk right behind me, until I had phased for the first time. To him it is just one set of genetics recognizing the greatest genetic potentiate for our race. But see, your situation kind disproves his theory too. You aren't Quileute at all. I mean we can look at your pale skin and see that, and you look too much like Charlie to be fathered by anyone else. You don't even smell remotely Quileute. You don't have the wolf gene in you at all. So if, according to Sam's theory, it's all in genetics, then you're a fluke, unless there is something in our genetics that recognizes something in your genetics. If that's the case then there is a something in your genetics that is very powerful for two wolves to have imprinted on you."

"I resent you calling me a 'fluke' Jared." I punched him on the arm and he pretended to be in pain. I may have been joking and avoiding this serious issue on the outside, but on the inside, I was trying to run through all the possibilities of what could possibly be in my genetics that would cause this. Out of both theories I realized I agreed with Sam the most. I used to believe in the 'Soul Mates' and that 'forever' kind of love, but the more I thought about it, it dawned on me that I hadn't believed in any of that in a long time.

Yes, I cared about Jacob and I could not deny the pull and electricity I felt coming from Paul but I could never think of either of them as my soul mate now that I knew it was some genetic imperative. I knew I would always love Jake and I knew that I wanted to get to know Paul, but I would not give into something, without it being my decision first, not some weird physical draw. Sam's theories weren't what made up my mind. My belief in "destined love" dissolved the moment I woke up from months of being in a catatonic stupor and became aware that the one, who I presumed to be my soul mate, left without backwards glance. I was coming up on a resolution quick, and had only one more question.

"Then question three. How much does it really hurt to be away from Kim?" Though I asked about his own imprint Jared gave me a shrewd look that told me he knew I was asking about Paul and Jake. Thankfully he didn't mention that fact. He looked thoughtful for a moment then began.

"It is very painful to be away from her for more than forty-eight hours. It starts out as a dull ache in my chest. Then it progresses to a slight headache and once I get close to the 48 hour mark I have a full-blown migraine and nausea. If I go for longer than that I can't function. I have to lie down because my chest constricts tightly and it becomes hard to breathe. It's the same for Sam. We also feel pain when our imprint feels pain. It's a way we can defend them. Say if Emily were to get into a car accident and she were hurt, Sam would feel her pain wherever he was and go help her. Or say if Kim was really upset, anxious, angry, or even extremely happy, I would feel that. It's a good thing, but it can be bad too. I mean for us guys it's really confusing and rough for us when it's the 'lady time of the month' for our imprints. We get very emotional. Embry thinks it's hilarious, the ass."

I remembered the dull ache in my own chest, directly below my necklace that hadn't stopped, and began rubbing the area. "What about Kim and Emily, do they feel like that?"

Jared shot a puzzled look at my hand which was still rubbing soothing circles around the ache. "No, Bella that is only what the wolves feel. Sure they feel the love, adoration, and a small amount of a pull that inclines them to be attracted to us, but they can't imprint so they don't feel the pain. Are you okay? Are you feeling a tugging sensation?"

"Yeah, I mean, no, I mean, I don't know. It's probably just heartburn. I get that from time to time." I knew it was more than that, but I didn't want to add anymore complications onto the already overwhelming pile Sam was sorting through with the tribal elders at this moment.

Jared's brow wrinkled in concern. "Listen, I'm gonna go talk to Sam about this and let him know how you are feeling. If you start feeling anything different, like headaches, or shortness of breath, you need to call him right away. It could be heartburn, but it could be something else. We don't exactly know all that's going on here so please just let us know if anything changes."

I nodded my head at him and walked him to the door. As he reached the door, he handed me a piece of paper. "This is Kim's phone number. She asked me to give it to you and said to call her anytime. She knows how hard it is to be an imprint and wouldn't mind talking to you about any of it. Frankly, she is kinda lonely in the gal-pal department. Emily is a little older than her and is focusing on starting a family right now, Kim can't really relate to that, being a senior in high school, and she's given up a lot of her friends to be with me. You would be doing me a huge favor if you could talk to her and maybe hang out sometime."

"I would really like that. Thanks for the talk Jared. It was very helpful. And, thanks for not pushing me for a decision on what I'm going to do. I know the guys are like brothers to you and you care about them, but I appreciate you not trying to sway me one way or the other."

"Sure Bella. Hopefully we can find a long lost legend on how to break an imprint without repercussions, but if not…it will be a difficult decision, and one that you will ultimately have to make on your own. It's not my place to tell you what to do. Just know that any of us in the pack are here for you. Thank you for the breakfast, it was great."

We said our goodbyes and I watched Jared run to the edge of the trees and disappear. I leaned back on the door and sighed. I'd made friends with at least two of the other pack members and strangely I felt like I had a support system after only a few hours. I decided I would give Kim a call in a couple days once I'd told the guys my decision.

I got started cleaning and thought about all that had happened in the last few days and what I was going to do. I looked back on the last eight months of my life and had a mixture of feelings bubbling inside my mind.

First I was sad that my childhood dream of a fairytale prince charming that sweeps the princess of her feet and loves her forever had been broken and traded in for other fairytales, one's that were the things of children's nightmares. A switch of 'true love' and 'soul mates' for' Vampires' and' Werewolves' didn't seem like a fair trade to me, but it was reality. Although I wouldn't buy into those ideals again, I still cared about Jake, and believed in love. I believed that love is what we make of it and that's it's a choice, not some cosmic push from the universe.

Second, I was angry at myself for being so weak, for letting my father think I needed mental help, and my friends think I had abandoned ship. I resolved myself to be strong and to lift my sorry ass out of this depressive and dependent state I had sunk to. I am a grown woman for crying out loud, not some driveling little girl who has to have a man to lean on when things get rough. I didn't want to depend on Jake, Paul, my dad, or anyone to make me better, stronger. I had been strong before Edward, when I had to take care of my mother and have the maturity level of an adult. I could do that again, and I would do that again.

Third and last, I was proud of myself that I was going to be stronger from now on. I was going to learn to be me. I would learn to lead my life and define myself by who I am on the inside and outside, not by a guy holding my hand leading me forward. It would be hard and I knew that the guys would be hurt, but I had to do this for me. If I ever wanted to have a compatible relationship with anyone ever again, I had to rebuild me. I was going to let the guys know that I would still have a schedule to alternate hanging out with them as friends and hopefully since I wasn't choosing either of them we could all hang out together sometime. Wishful thinking, I know, but anything is possible.

Three hours and sparkling kitchen, bathroom, and laundry room later, I decided to give my only real human friend a call. Angela picked up on the first ring. We talked for a little while then she asked me if I wanted to go prom dress shopping in Port Angeles with her for our senior prom Thursday morning since she was going to skip school that day. I told her I would like that. She explained that Ben wouldn't be able to go to prom with her this year because he would be competing in the school's literary competition in Seattle all that weekend, so she wanted us to go together as a group with Mike since he and Jessica were on the outs again. I decided that even though I hated dancing, I would give this 'normal human event' a chance and view it as a step in the right direction toward my new self. I wasn't too thrilled about going as a threesome with Mike, but he had behaved like a friend and only a friend ever since the awkward throwing up in a popcorn bucket incident a few weeks back in Jake's car, so I felt a little better about it.

When I got off the phone I got dressed and ready for work. It was 3:00 p.m. and I was supposed to start my delivery runs in an hour. I took some Tums to try and get rid of the heartburn and headed out for my shift at Mel's. For the first four hours of my shift the ache never stopped. By 8:00 p.m. I was beginning to feeling a twinge of pain in my head. I took some Advil Charlie had put in my glove box. The pain in my head eased a little and I was able to finish my shift without problems physically, but mentally my thoughts were running rampant. All the while I was at work my mind kept drifting to thoughts of Jake or Paul.

At the beginning of the night I began thinking about how Jake's abs rippled under his swarthy skin and how his hands felt covering mine, and how when he held me he always seemed to wrap me in a protective shell of Jake-ness. I quickly changed my thoughts to getting the two pepperonis down to 42 Tea tree Avenue. Now, I like looking at a hunk just as much as the next girl, but my thoughts had never been quite so explicit before, not even with Edward.

Later my thoughts began to drift toward another russet skinned Apollo. I focused on how his hair was slightly longer than Jake's and the way it swept into his blackbird eyes, and that mouth, Oh God that mouth. His bottom lip was this lusciously plump fixture that needed to be touched and kissed. Whoa! I snapped myself out of it and realized that I had been grasping onto my shirt over my chest where the ache was steadily pounding. Something was definitely wrong.

Earlier today I had made my mind up that I would hold both guys at arm's-length in the friend zone because I didn't want to give into some weird genetic mating phenomenon, and here I was letting all my inhibitions fly out the window. I would control this, I would… at least I hoped I would.

When I got home that night, I took a couple Tylenol PMs hoping they would help me sleep with the little headache that had slowly crept back. Thirty minutes after lying down, I was out like a light.

Thursday April 10th 8:00 a.m.

My alarm clock went off. I quickly got up, got a shower and got dressed. Angela was going to be there at 9:00 and I wanted to be ready. Charlie had obviously already left for work, without me getting to tell him about Angela and me going dress shopping so I tried calling him at the station. He was out hunting the man-eating bear again so I just left him a note on the kitchen table explaining where I would be and that I had some leftover pizza in the fridge for him. I hated that I couldn't cook for him like I used to, but with me working nights at Mel's it wasn't possible. I decided I would make it up to him soon.

While I waited on Angela to get there I typed a quick email to my mom and let her know that I was shopping for a prom dress today and was genuinely excited about it.

Angela picked me up and we talked about music and school all the way to Port Angeles. We went to the local Bridal/special occasion dress boutique "Black Diamond Bridal." We enjoyed ourselves trying on different styles of dresses. It was nice spending time with Angela. I just felt so care-free with her. She had no expectations of me to spill my guts about the recent developments in my life. I was grateful to have her. If I could have one person to talk to about all my drama I wish it could be her. I knew she wouldn't judge me.

Finally Angela picked out her dress. It was floor length dress made of black lace and covering silver satin with a V-neck and criss-cross straps on the back. She looked gorgeous. {Link on profile}

I chose a dress that was different than anything I would have usually chosen, but I really liked it. It was a strapless floor length gown with a bow that was asymmetrically twisted at the top it was a color called 'shimmer moss' it just looked green to me. I loved it. {Link on profile}

We got some lunch and headed on home. I had to get back in time to get ready for work, and the way my head was beginning to pound I wanted to lie down for at least an hour before I had to get ready. I'd also called Sam and ask him about meeting with him, Paul and Jake at his house to tell them my decision. I was going to drive over there tomorrow morning.

That night at work my head began to pound so ferociously that I had to pull over twice and rest it on the cool leather seats in my truck. The second time I pulled over was on my last run for the night, I heard a tapping on my window and saw Embry standing outside my door with a look of deep concern written on his face. I sat up and rolled down the window down.

"Bella are you ok? I saw you pull over earlier, but you started the truck again so I thought everything must have been ok. You look really pale, well more so than usual anyway."

"I just have a really bad headache and I'm having a hard time focusing on the road especially when see another car's headlights coming towards me."

"That sounds like a migraine Bella. Jared told us that you were having the withdrawal aches like a wolf does with his imprint. I think it would be a good idea for you to meet with the Paul, Jake and Sam pretty soon."

"Yeah, I was planning on doing that tomorrow morning."

"I think you should probably go on over there now. They supposed to be having a pack meeting in about twenty minutes with everyone but me since I'm on Bella duty" He chuckled at his little joke, but I could only smirk for a second before a wave of nausea hit me and my head reached a new level of pounding. Embry seemed to notice this.

"Scoot over, let me drive." He didn't wait for me to comply; he smoothly lifted me up and placed me in the passenger seat.

"I'll take you to Sam and Emily's and then I'll deliver the last couple of pizzas out for you." I hated for Embry to have to do that, but I really had no choice, I felt horrible. I knew that if I tried to drive further I would hurt myself or someone else on the road.

"Thanks Em, I hate that you have to do this, but I think you're right. I need to see the guys."

"Don't sweat it. You can just owe me some brownies or something. Jake says you can bake pretty well."

"Embry, you will get the best brownies I've ever made. I promise." I winced as we jostled over a bump in the road.

"Ok, now quit talking and just rest your eyes." He sternly told me.

As we pulled up in front of the quaint little house, I saw the door fly open and two shapes blur and towards my side of the truck. Before Embry could even put the truck in park, the door was swung open and I was gently lifted out of the truck and tucked into a soft embrace. When looked up I felt all my pain begin to dull into a slight sizzle in the back of my mind. Paul was softly rocking me back and forth in his strong warm arms and kissed me on the forehead his eyes never left mine. He sat me down only for me to get spun around picked up into a tight hug from none other than Jake. The pain was completely gone now and I felt rejuvenated. I felt joy, and peace, and I had no idea where the feelings were coming from. If I hadn't known better I would think Jasper was out in the woods somewhere sending waves of feelings at me with his power. Then I felt… jealousy? I looked over at Paul, and he was looking down at the ground with his hands in tightly balled fists, forearms trembling. I made Jake put me down and I went and grabbed Paul by the left hand while I grabbed Jake by the right hand and led them into the house. We had yet to speak a word, but the feelings were there and that was enough. Embry started up my truck again and pulled out the drive. Now came the hard part.

When we got up the steps Sam met us at the door. He then looked down at my at my chest and before I could get offended his eyes widened into a look of shock and bewilderment and he whispered "Bella where did you get that necklace?"

I gave you a few more clues this chapter as to what is going on with Bella, and who she will end up with. Please remember to vote for my story on Bexxyy's poll. A link to her profile is on my profile. Also links to Bella, and Angela's dresses are posted on my profile. I will be posting more pictures there throughout the story. I will also be posting songs that I was listening to and inspired me for each chapter in my Author's notes. Thank you for reading, and a Hugenormous thanks to those of you who have reviewed already. You guys motivate me to keep going and I love you for it. Keep em' coming! Also if any of you have birthday's coming up I would like to know them so I can wish you a Happy Birthday in my A/N's. Lemme know.