Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the group Muse whose song names I used for the titles...

Why can't you just love her?
Why be such a monster?

Haruno Sakura grinned confidently as she finished applying her strawberry pink lip-gloss and pressed her lips together to spread it out evenly. She had just used the last of her birthday money to buy herself a black mini-skirt which, despite not being practical, made her legs look fantastic. She was still wearing standard-issue sandals, but they went well with her outfit so she still looked amazing. A deep red shirt completed her outfit. She had fallen in love with the way the silky fabric fluttered whenever she moved and had bought it a little over a month ago, even though she didn't have any reason to wear it. Thankfully, her mother hadn't found out exactly how much of her saved up money she had used to buy it. She could just imagine the scolding she'd get if her mother, Haruno Mebuki, found out.

First: anger. "DO YOU KNOW THE SACRIFICES WE'VE MADE JUST TO PAY FOR YOUR SUPPLIES?! THAT MONEY WAS SUPPOSED TO LAST UNTIL NEW YEARS AND YOU'VE SPENT IT ALREADY!" Here, Sakura would shuffle her feet and stare at the floor contritely.

Then Mebuki would sigh in exasperation. "Next time, just ask me or your father if we have enough money instead of using your own allowance."

Finally, after a few more minutes in that vein, she would begin winding down: "I understand that a young girl wants to look beautiful." Smiling, and touching Sakura's cheek she would continue, "When I was your age and I joined our family on the caravan, the only reason I didn't spend all my money on dresses and make up is because I was expected to pay my own expenses on the trip." It was here that she would mention, rather nonchalantly, "Of course, if you were to join your grandfather's caravan, you know your father and I would pay for every cent..."

If Sakura remained staring at the floorboards in silence during the scolding, which she inevitably did, her mother would finally get to the point.

Mebuki would give a heartfelt sigh before wrapping her arms around her only daughter and whispering into her hair. "Why don't you end this silly rebellion and let me contact your grandfather? Your cousins have started their tours already but everyone knows you would catch up quickly."

Sakura would remain unmoved and Mebuki would utter the phrase that always signaled the end of it. "You know we just want what's best for you."

If Sakura was lucky, and managed to stay silent, she would only be forced to do all the usual chores by herself for a week or so. On the other hand, if she lost control of her temper then she'd be grounded and all of her books and makeup taken away for two weeks.

As such, it was in her best interests to just go to one of the stores where they sold ready-made clothes instead of the family tailor so her mother wouldn't find out. Thankfully, stitching on the Haruno clan symbol by herself had been surprisingly easy though a little voice in the back of her head wondered if it would be easier to just join the caravan.

But Sakura banished the thought and finally feeling ready to face Sasuke, she added the finishing touches to the outfit of a lifetime. This time, he'll fall beneath our charm! SHANARRO! With the experience borne from a lifetime of practice, Sakura ignored Inner as she straightened her clothes one last time, attached an expensive new kunai pouch to her leg, made sure her hitai-ate adorned her soft pink hair cutely and blew a kiss at her image in the vanity mirror before running out of the house in order to search for Sasuke. Now that we're on the same team, he'll definitely go out with me! And...I'll finally tell him I like him. Sakura couldn't stop a pink tinge from rising to her cheeks at this thought.

She reached the corner of her street before stopping, suddenly realizing, that she had no idea where Sasuke could be.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Squeaking in a way that left her cheeks red from embarrassment, Sakura hurriedly continued forward before the burly man behind her was tempted to do more than just shout at her.

Despite the small problem of having no idea where to look, she ran around for the better part of an hour, until her clothes began sticking to her sweaty back despite the cool Konoha afternoon and she proceeded to drop into a bench with a huff. The bench was hidden near the village wall in a small alcove surrounded by immense trees that provided some blessed shade.

"After all that effort to look extra beautiful, I couldn't even find him," Sakura muttered to herself as an annoyed pout graced her rather average features. She had dashed from street to street and endured the annoyed looks from the people she accidentally bumped into but hadn't caught site of any members of her brand new team. I can't even find that hard-headed idiot, Naruto, and he practically stalks me! She heaved a sigh, leaned back against the surprisingly comfortable wooden bench and gazed at the dappled sunlight filtering softly through the deep green leaves that gave her village its name.

For October in Konoha, the weather seemed to be unusually cool, so despite all that running Sakura had done in the name of love, she found herself shivering slightly. It's still pretty early. Sakura thought pensively for a moment as she tried to decide where exactly Sasuke would most likely be. I wonder what Sasuke-kun does during his free time, anyway...I've never been able to get an answer, no matter how many times I ask...Admittedly, she had tried to follow him from the academy more than once, along with a gaggle of his other fangirls before he invariably shook them off his trail. On the few times she had managed to gather the courage to ask, he would always ignore her and shoulder past her while she gazed at him, waiting for an answer. A small frown tugged at her lips at this thought.

She shook her head quickly, disturbing her hitai-ate as she quickly became filled with determination. He'll definitely agree to go out with me! There's no way he can resist us! Her eyes widened as she suddenly realized where Sasuke would be and, jumping to her feet, smoothing down her slightly wrinkled skirt. Of course! He'll definitely be training today. The question is...which training grounds? Sakura's feet automatically led her to the general direction of the lower training grounds as she bit down on her lower lip, deep in thought. As recent graduates, her class still wasn't allowed on the genin grounds, so he had to be in one of the grounds between 1 and 10. Absently dodging her way through the crowd, she beamed as she finally decided which training grounds Sasuke was most likely occupying. She knew for a fact that Sasuke hates wasting time, so he was most likely in training ground 3, which was right between the Uchiha district and the academy.

Humming quietly, Sakura smiled slightly, straightened her hitai-ate, and made sure everything else was in order as she approached training ground 3 . Glancing towards the sky for confirmation, Sakura calculated that she had at least five hours before she was due back home. Plenty of time to go on a date, if Sasuke-kun wants to. By the time she finally reached the training grounds and heard the rhythmic grunts that signaled the presence of someone training, she had already spent several long minutes fantasizing about her perfect date. And since her curfew was by nightfall...I don't really need a curfew now that I'm a kunoichi, but since Mom and Dad are civilians, they wouldn't understand...Either way, I still have enough to spend with Sasuke-kun. She couldn't help but pause for a moment as she visualized what Ino-pig's reaction when she found out Sakura was going on a date with Sasuke. Grinning at this pleasant thought, she finally reached the gate of the training ground.

Thankfully, she had been correct. Sasuke had his back to her as he moved gracefully, practicing a kata Sakura had never seen before. Without meaning to, she started analyzing the differences between the academy-taught kata to what was obviously the Uchiha family style before her attention was caught by the muscles moving smoothly under his navy blue shirt, distorting the Uchiha clan symbol spread across its back. She couldn't help but stare for a long minute before she realized that Sasuke was turning around and quickly straightened herself out.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke sounded more than a little suspicious as he glared at her from his spot at the far edge of the training ground.

"Ah," Sakura hesitated for a second as she tried desperately to remember what she had planned to tell him. Sasuke continued to glare at her as the redness in her cheeks deepened and she fidgeted under his intense dark gaze. Suddenly, as she finally remembered what she had meant to say, the words poured out of her lips in a torrential rush. " I was wondering—now that we're on the same team—that is—if Sasuke-kun isn't busy—I mean—"

Sakura forced herself to stop her babbling and take a deep breath as Sasuke's glare deepened and he moved a little closer to her. It wasn't easy to calm her racing heart, but she persevered as she tried again. "I...I l-like you, Sasuke-kun." Her face was bright red by this point, and she spoke quickly before she lost her nerve. "Do you want to go on a date?"

Sakura couldn't help but bite her lip in breathless anticipation as Sasuke seemed to consider her words. Was that the best you could do?! Let me try and he'll be eating out the palm of our hands, SHANNARRO! Sakura did her best to ignore the yelling Inner before realizing that with Inner's ranting she had missed Sasuke's answer!

"Ano...What did you say, Sasuke?" Sakura asked him timidly as Inner continued to shout methods of making Sasuke putty in her hands.

"I asked," Sasuke began as he advanced on Sakura's position near the entrance of the secluded training grounds. " Why did you become a kunoichi? You are easily the weakest shinobi to ever graduate. Instead of focusing on making yourself stronger, you focus on fashion."

Even as Sakura began tremble, he continued ruthlessly. "Instead of getting a proper teammates, I get stuck with Dead Last and Dead Weight. I'll only tell you this once, don't get in my way." With that said, he gave her a vicious glare before shouldering past her roughly and leaving the training grounds.

Even as she caught her balance, her eyes began to burn. Is that...really what he thinks of me? Am I...really that weak? She shook as tears began to slide down her cheeks before dripping down to her clenched fists. I always did my best...didn't I? Even as she thought that, she remembered countless times when she should have been training, but was watching Sasuke. Countless times when she neglected her training to learn how to wear makeup or to find the perfect outfit. Countless times...

" -LAZY! AND CHOUJI PUT THOSE CHIPS AWAY!"

Gasping, she realized she couldn't let Ino see her like this. Not now. Not after what just happened. Sakura forced herself to move quickly and quietly as Team 10 moved closer to her position.

When she was younger, trying to stalk Sasuke, she had come across a small gap in the walls surrounding the training grounds. As curious as she was, she had immediately investigated it and learned that it led into one of the many unused sewers under Konoha. She had gotten lost, of course, but in the end, had been able to find a way out that led to a small cave a few miles outside of Konoha. Though she knew, intellectually, that she should report this to one of her academy teachers immediately, she kept it a closely guarded secret. It was hers. Only hers. Whenever she needed to find peace or just to escape from the stress of her everyday life, she'd go to her cave...And at this moment, she definitely needed to escape.

She had stopped using the passage as she grew older and felt less of a need for a peaceful spot but... I forgot how small it is. Sakura winced as the opening scraped her new shirt. Unfortunately, she had almost grown too large to fit into the tunnel and the upward slope didn't make it any easier to move. She froze imperceptibly as Team 10 finally entered the training grounds and struggled quietly to reach the end. By the time she emerged into the sewer proper, her beautiful, and more importantly, expensive shirt was ripped in a few places and she couldn't stop tears of frustration from welling up.

KEEP ON WALKING, DAMN IT!DON'T LET THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE DO THIS TO US! Inner's words rang through her head almost painfully, but they did the job. Sakura took a deep breath and wiped at her eyes before continuing through the maze of tunnels that she had long since memorized.

When she finally reached the end of the journey, it was to see a rusted ladder hidden within a small alcove. Originally, the trap door had refused to open, but curiosity kept Sakura coming back every day until it finally yielded. She honestly didn't know where the tunnel led and, thinking back on it, it had been a horrible idea, but her curiosity was rewarded.

She forcibly shook herself out of her memories and climbed the creaking ladder, praying it would hold her weight. When Sakura finally lifted the cover off the trap hole, she was rewarded by a cool breeze that brought the pure scent of running water. She pulled herself out and closed it carefully, making sure the stone markings over the cover lined up with similar scratches around the ground. When she had discovered it, she had been unable to find the cover for over an hour before she spotted found it again.

Sakura finally sat down, only half an hour after her ordeal, and took in the beauty that always filled her cave. In front of her eyes, an amazingly large waterfall poured down to the stones below. Small rainbows formed and disappeared just as quickly where the sunlight made its way through and the rippling patterns of green and blue that resulted filled the cave with light.

Thankfully, the cave was surprisingly dry, although incredibly loud, and the rough stone walls rubbed against her back as she leaned backwards. It was just large enough for her to lay down comfortably, with enough room above her head to stretch out her hands if she felt like it. The stone it shone darkly. She had never seen stone this color before she found her cave, but she had loved it immediately. It was almost as dark as his—

She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her head on them. Sasuke-kun...Why...Why did you say that? She had done her very best to forget what had happened but...He's right. Even that stupid Naruto worked harder than I did. And even though Ino-pig did the same things I did; she has a clan to back her up...I shouldn't have...I...should have focused more...Ino-pig has her family jutsu and what do I have? Nothing but book-smarts and that won't save me in a real fight. Sakura forced her tears away, crying about it wouldn't help. Hadn't her teachers always said she had one of the most analytical minds of her year? Think. You need to think.

Despite what everyone most likely believed, she had not become a kunoichi for Sasuke, although that definitely factored in her decision. She...had wanted to be more...more than her parents, merchants the both of them, more than a life on a caravan, selling to the highest bidder. But...I failed. Stop being so depressing! She could almost see Inner slamming her fist into her palm. If you think you're weak, GET STRONGER! Stronger. Training harder. Focusing better...Ignoring Sasuke... Can I do this? I...don't want to let him go, but...If I get stronger...maybe Sasuke-kun will like me better. After all, he doesn't like weak girls, does he?

In spite of all these thoughts running through her mind, Sakura's eyelids began to drift shut. The journey through the sewers and the events beforehand, as well as her crying, had begun to tire her out. Without realizing it, her eyes were closed and her head rested firmly on her knees. Thankfully, the cave was rather narrow, and the walls easily supported her tired body. The roaring of the waterfall grew dimmer, even as she quietly slipped into a restless slumber.

Edited 8/17/13

So...I haven't posted anything in about three years. O.o On the plus side, I finally graduated? But job hunting now. My laptop died recently and I lost all my files which turned out to be a good thing 'cause I had no idea what I was doing anyway. Now I'm getting a fresh start! Which led to editing and updating again. ^^ Anyway, I'm probably gonna edit a couple more times, I just added some more scenes and fixed some mistakes.

I'll do my first edit of chapter 2 tomorrow and try to have chapter three out before the week is out!

Thanks for reading~

-Sin