A/N- Oh, hey, It's me. XxU c h I h a K e d o s h ixX. Just back with another story. I'm not sure if this is gonna be a one shot or a story. Whatever. I think a story. Whatever. I wrote this for English class, actually….. Whatever. I think I said that already, but yeah. So uh. Continue!
title: fast times at barrington high
summary: Sakura, Ino and their friend's wonderful texting times. Of dances, cheerleading, sexual crises'… Ah, teenagers. AU.
pairings: SasuSaku, with mentions of SasuKarin, SuiKarin, TemaShikaIno, NejiTen and maybe some others.
warnings: AU, some OOC, all in texts, insane randomness….:D
disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or anything else in here besides the plot and the minor OOC-ness. :D
To: Sakura
From: Ino
Forehead, I demand you answer my question.
10:33 AM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
Sure, my darling love. It would be my pleasure. How can I be off assistance, Pig?
10:34 AM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
…. Yeah, okay. You talk weird. WHATEVER. SO. For the new cheerleading outfits, what colors should they be? Black and red, black and blue or black and purple? Temari is on our squad, and as much as I hate her, I can't afford to lose her. Help?
10:37 AM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
It still amuses me that the girl who tried to steal your boyfriend is still on YOUR cheerleading squad. Ha. But, uh, black and red is WAY to goth… URK. Black and purple is cute, I guess. Black and blue is still not that great. Me, I say blue and purple would be adorable. Your choice, though.
10:40 AM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
Thanks, so much help right there. YOU KNOW HOW I HATE DECISIONS. YOU MAKE LIFE DIFFICULT.
10:41 AM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
Thanks, I try.
10:42 AM
To: Temari, Karin, Tenten…
From: Ino
Okay, so I've decided on the colors. And before you ask, no this could not wait until practice today. Because, um, PRACTICE is for PRACTICING. Anyway, so the colors I say we are going with is Light Blue and Purple. Because they'll look cute together. Says me. And as you know, I'm your captain. I hope this is okay by you.
10:48 AM
To: Ino
From: Temari
Fine, it's good enough. But that was long enough to be an email, you idiot…
10:50 AM
To: Ino
From: Karin
Good point, they'll look cute BY FAR. No wonder you're our captain!
10:50 AM
To: Karin
From: Ino
….. Suck up….
10:52 AM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
Yo, make Karin go away, she's hanging on Sasuke like he's a trophy. Or something.
10:55 AM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
? Pig? You there?
10:59 AM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
Fine. Meanie. Some best friend I have.
11:04 AM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
OMG. THAT WAS SO EPIC!!!!
11:23 AM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
What did you do this time, Forehead-girl? Sorry, btw, I was annoying my should-be boyfriend. Cause you know, technically, he's not mine. YET.
11: 25 AM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
Well, Karin was being her obnoxious self(Seriously, remind me WHY she's on your cheerleading squad? Please?), and so I went over to her, to piss her off(I mean, she was annoying Sasuke, too), and I had the BEST idea. I walked up to her, and was all like, 'So, Karin! How'd your HIV test scores come out?' And she froze up, and I was like, all OMG I JUST BROKE THE EVIL REDHEAD! Anyway, I continued on. 'Did you tell Suigetsu yet, honey? I can help you, if you want…', with the whole worried look on my face. Damn, I am a GOOD actress. So, anyway, everyone just like laughed their heads off. IT WAS AMAZING!
11:33 AM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
…. Seriously?
11:35 AM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
FER serious.
11:35 AM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
….. I LOVE YOU, LIKE WOAH.
11:36 AM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
I try.
11:36 AM
To: Ino
From: Karin
Keep your girlfriend on a leash, I was TRYING to get to Sasuke-kun!
11:38 AM
To: Karin
From: Ino
Not my girlfriend. Not my problem.
11:39 AM
To: Karin
From: Suigetsu
You don't really have AIDS, do you?
11:39 AM
To: Suigetsu
From: Karin
…. You're a jerk.
11:40 AM
To: Sakura
From: Sasuke
Thanks.
11:40 AM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
Sasuke. Text. Ino. HELP!
11:41 AM
To: Sasuke
From: Ino
You… You…. JERK! WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH SAKU-PANTS!?
11:42 AM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
Got it covered. Just say 'welcome.' Even you can handle that, I think.
11:42 AM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
You're a jerk. But thanks.
11:43 AM
To: Sasuke
From: Sakura
Your welcome.
11:43 AM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
11:44 AM
To: Ino
From: Sasuke
….. Hn. Class is almost over, put your phone away. Sakura's a few seats from me, I don't want to hear her wailing when you get your phone taken away.
11:44 AM
To: Sasuke
From: Ino
Well… HN RIGHT BACK ATCHA!
11:45 AM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
So, Forehead. What are you wearing to the dance?
11:45 AM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
Not going. Go away right now.
11:46 AM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
NOT OKAY, SAKURA. NOT. OKAY.
11:46 AM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
Deal. Look, I'm at lunch. You should be in class.
11:46 AM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
Dude. What the hell did they put in your drinks?! JEEZ.
11:47 AM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
I don't buy. Now go away, please. I have Ami to deal with.
11:47 AM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
I gotcha. See ya, Forehead-Girl.
11:48 PM
To: Shikamaru
From: Ino
Yo, Shika. What class do I have next?
12:30 PM
To: Ino
From: Shikamaru
You have Psych, with me and Pinky.
12:31 AM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
Shika just called you Pinky. Want me to do something about it?
12:31 PM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
I don't care(YES.)… But can I tell you about lunch? I need a favor.
12:32 PM
To: Shikamaru
From: Ino
Don't call her Pinky! And thanks.
12:32 PM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
Sure, Saki. Go ahead.
12:33 PM
To: Ino
From: Shikamaru
Whatever.
12:33 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Naruto
Yo, fix Sakura-chan over there. She's like… Dead or something. She's probably texting Ino, but do you know why?
12:34 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Ino
Alright, if it's taking Saku-pants THIS long to send a text, something's up. What happened at lunch?
12:35 PM
To: Ino, Naruto
From: Sasuke
A, Ino, how did you even get my number? B, Naruto, What do you mean, fix her? C, I don't know what happened….
12:36 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Naruto
Dude, Ino has your number? Probably got it from Shikamaru or Sakura-chan or something. But you don't? I would've thought you had something to do with it….
12:36 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Ino
Uh. I used to stalk you. Getting past that.
12:36 PM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
Remember how I totally called out Karin? Well, see… What happened is at lunch break, I can't believe it's the only one I don't have with you but I have with her, you know? But uhm anyways, first it was Ami who came up to me. I was trying to eat in silence(I hate Thursday lunches…)but then she totally started harassing me, just like when we were little. 'Forehead, you still have a huge forehead, eh?' and 'Wow, still as weak as you were back then? Where's YAMANAKA to protect you now?'. And you know that even though I've gotten a lot stronger(Or think I have, anyway.), I still freeze up when it comes to her insults without you there to help me out and back me up, like the wonderful bestie you are. So I kinda froze up, and Karin, and her evil gang… She kinda took control of my paralyzed state and totally called me out. 'Sasuke likes me better, you know. He asked me to the dance this year, you know…' and I can't figure out if it's true or not, and so now I'm crying in the bathroom. Damn.
12:37 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Ino
YOU ASKED KARIN TO THE DANCE. UCHIHA, YOU ARE DEAD.
12:38 PM
To: Ino
From: Sasuke
I did what? Oh, that. Yeah, uh, why?
12:39 PM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
Ohmigod, Sakura-chan! I'm SO sorry!!! Don't worry, I'll help you pound Ami into the next millennium. Seriously. She totally deserves it. And Karin is going DOWN. I promise you this. We will go to the dance, looking like WOAH, and Sasuke wouldn't know what hit him! And you, Saku-pants, your not weak. Your like, the strongest person I know. I mean like, I would be probably crying in the bathroom, too, like you, but like. Seriously. And like. Uh. You kick major ass. That thing you did earlier? MAJOR POINTS.
12:42 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Ino
You have 24 hours, Uchiha. Say your last goodbyes.
12:42 PM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
Thanks, Ino-chan. You're the best, really. And uh. Are you sure? About the make over thing…. I'm not sure…. But since you're you, I'm sure you can figure it out! Thanks, I'll see you in a few. Psych, right?
12:42 PM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
Gotcha, lover. Yeah, I'll see you in three. Or five. Or two. Or in a few. Yeah, that.
12:43 PM
To: Ino
From: Naruto
What did you do to Sasuke to make him freak out?
12:44 PM
To: Naruto
From: Ino
He's freaking out? Really? And this is when I commence in evil laughter. Whoo hoo. ….. Wait, what is he doing, anyway?
12:45 PM
To: Ino
From: Naruto
He's all like, glaring at the wall, and his phone, and me, and stuff. Yeah. And uh… He keeps saying 'Damn Yamanaka…' and stuff. Why?
12:46 PM
To: Naruto
From: Ino
Look, class is starting soon, and I need to console Saku-pants. I'll explain later, you moron. Bye.
12:46 PM
To: Ino
From: Naruto
Since when did you care about classes? Whatever, though. Kay, bye. See you next period, I guess.
12:47 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Karin
So, Sasuke-kun.
12:50 PM
To: Karin
From: Sasuke
Hn?
12:50 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Karin
You want to come over later?
12:51 PM
To: Karin
From: Sasuke
Hn. Maybe.
12:52 PM
To: Shikamaru
From: Ino
Yo, PH, you know where Saki is? I need to talk to her, about stuff.
12:55 PM
To: Ino
From: Shikamaru
Dunno. She's your best friend.
12:56 PM
To: Shikamaru
From: Ino
You're her other best friend. Besides, well Naruto. But he doesn't really count…. But still! What she doesn't tell me she tells you so go find her! I actually need this class!
12:57 PM
To: Ino
From: Shikamaru
True, you do want to be a psychotherapist… Fine, I'll go get her.
12:58 PM
To: Sakura
From: Shikamaru
Yo, Saki. Where are you, eh?
1:00 PM
To: Shikamaru
From: Sakura
Where I usually am when I skip.
1:01 PM
To: Sakura
From: Shikamaru
Coffee shop? Starbucks or DD?
1:02 PM
To: Shikamaru
From: Sakura
You know me too well, you and Ino. She needs psych, eh? I gotcha. Thanks, Shika.
1:03 PM
To: Ino
From: Shikamaru
Got her. I'll see you next period, I think. I'll report back what she says. Or, well, she will.
1:05 PM
To: Shikamaru
From: Ino
Thanks, love. Make sure Saku-pants is okay? Please?
1:05 PM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
Hope your alright. Make Shika buy you coffee. I'll see you soon, kay?
1:05 PM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
Will do.
1:06 PM
To: Naruto
From: Sakura
Sorry I'm not there, Naruto. I'm just not feeling that great. Lunch just wasn't okay for me today. So I apologize. And stuff. And please, can you give Sasuke a living hell? I beg of you? It's not okay if you don't, I won't forgive you. Thanks, Naruto. I just need to be alone right now. Well, not alone, per se. With Shikamaru and lots of coffee. Thanks.
1:08 PM
To: Sakura
From: Naruto
Sure, sure. I'll make sure Teme goes down FAR, kay Sakura-chan? And I hope you come back to next class, last class, cause your other crazy blonde friend, being Ino, is kinda freaking out, mumbling on and on next to me about, 'Sakura-chan's not okay!' and 'what did you do, Uchiha!?' and 'Karin's getting kicked off…' and 'Shika better make sure she's okay…' and stuff like that. Alright, Ibiki-sensei's coming over here, I've gotta go. Bye, Sakura-chan.
1:10 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Ino
What the fuck did you do to my Sakura-chan?! I'm going to murder you. That 24 hours? Just dropped down to until the end of this day.
1:11 PM
To: Ino
From: Sasuke
Shut it, Yamanaka. I didn't DO anything, okay? Now shut up and put your stupid blackberry away before you get us both in trouble.
1:12 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Ino
HN.
1:12 PM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
How are you, honey? Coming back anytime soon?
1:16 PM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
Not yet, Pig. Sorry. I'll be back later, though. And most likely caffeine high. Hopefully Shikamaru knows how to stop that…. Whatever, though. As I said, I'll be back to our dorms at the end of the day. Most likely.
1:17 PM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
But of course, Forehead. I'll see you when you get back, I'll be in our dorm probably gaming it on out.
1:18 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Karin
So, have you thought about my offer…?
1:26 PM
To: Karin
From: Sasuke
Hn. No.
1:27 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Karin
Mou, mou, Sasuke-kun!? Why notttttttttt!
1:28 PM
To: Karin
From: Sasuke
Don't you think you've hurt Sakura and Suigetsu enough?
1:29 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Karin
Mou, Sasuke-kun. What's what supposed to mean….
1:30 PM
To: Karin
From: Sasuke
Stop talking to me. Please.
1:32 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Karin
You… You're breaking up with me?!
1:32 PM
To: Karin
From: Sasuke
Aa. We were never together.
1:33 PM
To: Ino
From: Sasuke
Yo, Yamanaka. Call off your squad, and Shikamaru and Naruto and whoever else. Karin and I are over.
1:35 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Ino
Alright, UCHIHA. Why?
1:36 PM
To: Ino
From: Sasuke
Suigetsu was sitting across the room looking sad, and you said something about Sakura…
1:37 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Ino
…. FINE, UCHIHA. YOU SET ONE DIRTY LITTLE FINGER ON MY FOREHEAD, NARUTO AND I WILL DESTROY YOU.
1:38 PM
To: Naruto
From: Sasuke
Yo, Dobe. You know where Sakura is?
1:40 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Naruto
If I was next to you, I'd be glaring. So I'll glare at my phone as I type. You're a jerk, teme. Why should I tell you where Sakura-chan is, eh?
1:41 PM
To: Naruto
From: Ino
It's okay, Naruto. Sasuke is okay.
1:41 PM
To: Ino
From: Naruto
Kay. Thanks, Ino. Want me to put in a good word for you with Shikamaru?
1:41 PM
To: Naruto
From: Sasuke
Because I want to ask her something. Something very important. And if you tell me WHERE SHE IS, I'd like to do so in person.
1:43 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Naruto
Actually, Teme, I'm not sure where she is. But Ino says you're okay again, so I guess I'll tell you. She's pretty upset, Ami and Karin started like, wrecking her at lunch. About her… Insecurities. You remember them in elementary school, right?
1:44 PM
To: Naruto
From: Sasuke
I'm surprised you can spell that, Dobe. Fine, I'll ask Yamanaka.
1:45 PM
To: Ino
From: Sasuke
Hey, Yamanaka. Where's Haruno?
1:46 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Ino
Oi, don't refer to your future wife like that! And Forehead's getting coffee at Starbucks with Shika-kun. Go get her, Tiger! ….. Okay, NEVER. AGAIN.
1:47 PM
To: Ino
From: Sasuke
Aa.
1:47 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Naruto
Oi, Teme! Where are you?
1:48 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Naruto
Uh, SASUKE?
1:49 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Naruto
Fine, you know what, FINE. GOSH.
1:50 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Naruto
No seriously, Sasuke. I NEED you. You're fangirls are asking me if I've ever gone gay with you. I'm not gay, am I? I'd never be gay with you, right? Sasuke, COME BACK! OR TEXT BACK!!!!
1:55 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Neji
Uchiha, you're annoying blonde friend here is demanding help in a sexual crisis. Get back here.
1:57 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Neji
Oi, Uchiha!
2:00 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Hinata
Sasuke-san, seriously come back. Neji is like, flailing with Naruto, and Tenten's like dying inside. COME BACK.
2:03 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Hinata
Please, Sasuke-san, I'll pay your fangirls to go away…!
2:05 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Hinata
Sasuke…?
2:07 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Tenten
Yo, Uchiha.
2:09 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Tenten
OI UCHIHA. GET BACK HERE. TEXT. OR SOMETHING. MY BOYFRIEND THINKS HE MIGHT BE GAY. I NEED YOU.
2:11 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Tenten
Uchiha….?
2:14 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Suigetsu
Thanks, man. I owe you.
2:15 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Suigetsu
Sasuke…?
2:18 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Suigetsu
Come on. Uchiha Sasuke.
2:21 PM
To: Sasuke
From: Suigetsu
Fine. You know, FINE.
2:24 PM
To: Ino
From: Temari
Yo, where's Uchiha? Everyone is screeching about him right now, and since you're girlfriend's in love with him I thought you might know.
2:25 PM
To: Temari
From: Ino
NOT MY GIRLFRIEND. And is that really unusual?
2:26 PM
To: Ino
From: Temari
You know that's not what I meant. Tenten thinks Neji might be gay, Naruto's convinced he's a pedophile… You know. A usual school day. But seriously. WHERE IS HE.
2:27 PM
To: Temari
From: Ino
Yeah, whatever. Huh, yeah. Regular. What, are you turning into one of his LOYAL fangirls, too?
2:28 PM
To: Ino
From: Temari
Oh, you wish. Like hell I'm letting you have Shikamaru.
2:29 PM
To: Temari
From: Ino
HA! Like he'd ever pick you against me. Really? Not happening.
2:30 PM
To: Ino
From: Temari
Whatever you say, DARLING.
2:31 PM
To: Temari
From: Ino
I have half a mind to kick you off my squad with Karin.
2:32 PM
To: Temari
From: Ino
Yeah. I THOUGHT SO.
2:36 PM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
This is the best. EVER. Sasuke just like, came out of nowhere, and like… Yeah! It was amazing! And stuff! Sasuke came and like glared at Shika, grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of Starbucks. I swear to God, lazyass over there was smirking at me the whole time. But anyway, so like, he dragged me to the back of Starbucks and I thought he was gonna, like, RAPE ME. But he demanded why I freaked out and skipped school with Shika. So I told him flat out, Karin and Ami hurt me. He was all-I broke it off with Karin, and before I could even smile, he kissed me and I was SO HAPPY!!!! It was AMAZING!!! So Ino, we all have our happiness now. Why do I say that? Shikamaru and I were talking and he said he might ask you to the dance~~ I'll see you in our dorm later on, Pig. I love today. Like, WOAH.
2:57 PM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
Aw! That's awesome! And stuff! But, uh... Get back here. Please. NOW.
2:59 PM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
Uh. WHY.
3:01 PM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
Naruto thinks he's a pedophile, Neji thinks he's gay, Tenten's freaking out, and Sasuke's fangirl want a threesome between Neji, Naruto and Sasuke.
3:03 PM
To: Ino
From: Sakura
..... OMG. I'll be right there. And heyyyyy, that was at 303! I LOVE 3OH!3.
3:04 PM
To: Sakura
From: Ino
By the way, tell your new boyfriend to check his inbox.
3:05 PM
To: Ino
From: Sasuke
I don't know why everyone is going insane, but I blame you. But thanks.
3:06 PM
To: Sakura
From: Sasuke
Uh. I know I'm right next to you, but uh... Er... Thanks...
3:08 PM
I personally enjoyed writing this, really. Sorry if the formats a little fucked up, I swear it wasn't my fault! This is in the BarringtonHigh!verse, I'm SO going to write more for it. FUN. FUNNNNNNN. Kay, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!