As a disclaimer, I'm sure you're well aware, I do not own Haruhi, Kyon, their respective genderswaps, the series, etc. That said, happy reading, comments appreciated, etc.

When I woke up, the sun hadn't even begun to rise yet. I sat up, but found my view blocked by a mass of hair. Looking back, I should have realized then and there that something was amiss, but my brain was still 7/8 turned off and the remaining eighth was busy with a single thought. "I'm thirsty." So with the grace and linguistic skills of a zombie, I slid out of bed and shuffled down the hallway, making a rather useless mental note that it was time for me to get a haircut.

As I walked down the hall, a number of other signs of strange happenings appeared. My clothes felt strangely loose and objects seemed somewhat higher than normal as well as an indescribable feeling in my chest, but it was simply too early and I was too tired to give these the thought they deserved. Instead, I just entered the bathroom and flipped the light switch, nearly blinding myself. Damn, do these lights have to be so bright? Instinctively, I still managed to grab my glass and fill it up. But as I drank, my eyes began to adjust to the light and in the mirror's reflection I saw something strange.

I saw a girl.

Her dark brown hair was a mess, and would likely reach her shoulders or the middle of her back if it weren't so frazzled and pointing in every direction. Her eyes were equally brown, but they were barely open due to what look liked sleep deprivation. She wore a light pink, almost white, night gown that… upon further examination, appeared to be exactly what I was wearing.

"No, it can't… be…" I tried to convince myself that the crazy idea I just had was just that: crazy. Unfortunately, those four words came out at a higher pitch than was normal, causing my voice to add itself to an ever increasing pile of evidence I didn't want to look at. So instead of thinking about it, I just stared at the mirror. I raised a hand and the girl in the mirror did the same. I stuck out my tongue and she did the same.

I couldn't deny it anymore, even in my half-dead state.

Obviously, I was dreaming. A nightmare, to be more specific. "Well, back to bed," I said to myself in my new, strange voice, before making a mad dash back to my room. I threw myself under the covers of my bed, determined to fall asleep quickly so that I could wake up just as quickly.

Truthfully, I didn't really think that was going to work, but I was tired and unwilling to put up with whatever it was Haruhi had gotten me into. There should be a law that she cannot create havoc until the sun comes up. Couldn't she at the very least have the common decency to wait for my day to start before she ruins it? I refused to even think about what was going on until dawn.

Not that that idea worked out very well. I spent the next hour or so with the covers pulled over my head while screaming "I'm not a girl, this is all just a bad dream" in my head. I may have stayed there reciting that mantra for eternity had a younger sibling of mine not barged into my room, yanked off my covers, and jumped on top of me.

"Kyonko~! Time to wake up, sleepy head~!"

I managed to shove the brat to the floor, when I saw... him. It was my little sister, and I stress the past tense. Gone were her side ponytail and pink pajamas, replaced with plain, though messy, short hair and a pair of navy blue baseball covered pajamas. Even my sister... well, at this point, my brother... his voice was a slight bit lower. I was at a loss for words, and just sat there with what must have been an idiotic looking expression as he added, "Hey, sis, what'sa matter?"

I reached out and grabbed his cheek and yanked it as hard as I could.

"OW! OW! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?" he yelled in retaliation, grabbing my cheek as well. We both let go simultaneously and began to rub our tender faces.

"I... thought I was dreaming."

"You're supposed to pinch your cheeks then. Jeez, why'd I get stuck with such an air-headed sister like you, anyway?"

"Ugh." I recoiled at that word. "Do me a favor, don't call me 'sister,' please," I asked, not knowing what I had unleashed in doing so.

Even with his new found masculinity and the apparent pride that accompanied it, deep down my little brother was still my... err... little sister. Mentally, I mean, as he began to tear up instantly. "You... you mean... Kyonko doesn't like being my older sister?" He started to snivel and breathe heavily as tears and snot started to run down his face. ARGH. I couldn't believe what I was about to do.

"Ah, no, no, that's not it. It's fine. I'll always be your big sister, okay?" Instantly, his face lit up again.

"Okay! Oh, and mom says you need to get ready for school right now? See ya, sis!" and with that he sped out the door. I'd have found it adorable if my mind weren't so plagued with confusion, stress, and the desire to find a large rock to crawl under and die.

I suppose it was time for me to face myself head on, so I got myself to the full-length mirror that I was apparently the owner of. Beside it was a few cases of makeup and some hair clips and accessories. The former I had no idea how to use, but I was tired of moving my hair out of my face, so I worked it all into a ponytail.

"...Whoa." I was speechless. Okay, so I have something of a thing for ponytails but... I looked cute, a word I never thought I'd use to describe myself. Maybe I wasn't in Asahina's range, but I was still pretty... cute.

Though I noticed then that one part of me was most definitely unlike Asahina. I eyed my bust, or apparent lack thereof. "...Flat." I was definitely only an A cup. Come to think of it... I pulled out the front of my nightgown and stared down, only to quickly revert my gaze back to the mirror in time to watch me turn as red as a tomato. I certainly didn't remember putting on a pair of bra and panties the night before. Not that I'd have the slightest clue how to even put a bra on.

Suddenly my phone began to ring. "Oh God, now what" was all I could think. I'd already had enough surprises this morning. Nevertheless I decided I should answer it.

"Hello, is Kyon there?" came a voice of a young female that I didn't recognize at all.

"Well, you called his cellphone, didn't you?"

"Oh my, you say that, but the Kyon I know is a boy, isn't he?" The voice spoke in a somewhat flirtatious and teasing tone that had managed to irritate me in two sentences.

"Ah, yeah, I suppose he was... I mean is. I mean... look, who is this? What do you know?"

"Well, there's no point in telling you that right now, as I'm sure you wouldn't believe me, anyway."

"I dunno, after this morning, I think I'd pretty much believe anything," I noted as I stared down my shirt once more. Yep. Still female.

"Well, all the same, could you do me one tiny, tiny favor, please? Just be ready and outside your house in five minutes and we'll explain everything, okay? Thanks!"

The flirtatious girl hung up before I could protest. Why would I listen to her? How did she get my phone number? And... if she knew that I was a guy, then doesn't that mean I wasn't always a girl? But then, my sister was now my brother and he wasn't shocked at all. ARGH. Too many pointless questions with no answers in sight. If I wanted to listen to a bunch of half-assed theories, I'd call Koizumi. But right now, he was the last person I wanted to see.

"My, you make an adorable girl, Kyon." Just imagining those words coming from his permanently smiling lips sent a shiver up and down my spine.

Still, I wanted answers, which is why minutes later I was standing outside wearing a girl's school uniform, cardigan, and thigh-highs, after a mortifying time trying to dress myself. Thankfully, it was that brief time between spring and summer where the temperature was just perfect, so I didn't have to worry about freezing or burning up while I waited.

"Dammit, Haruhi," I sighed. "What have you done this time? What possible good could come from making me--" Before I could finish that gripe, a black car sped around the corner, stopped in front of me, and pulled me inside before speeding off.

I couldn't believe it. I hadn't even been female for half a day, and here I was being kidnapped. What did they want? Would they rape me? Kill me? Ransom me? Oh God, please just let me go!

"Don't worry, I already told you, I'm a friend," said a familiar, flirtatious voice. "So anything we do here, I assure you, will be quite consensual."

I found myself sitting in a rather expensive looking car, sitting next to a woman who I feel obligated to call gorgeous. Her slightly wavy, light-brown shoulder length hair was perfectly groomed, and her deep brown eyes, coupled with her faint, friendly smile gave off an air of dignity and charm. Her long legs were wrapped in pantyhose and her curvy frame was incredible. She could have easily been a model. If I hadn't already decided to be irritated with her, I might have been awed.

"Aww, thank you. You're quite cute yourself," said the charming girl, clad in the same school uniform as myself, but lacking the cardigan.

I snapped out of my gaze. This is no time to be admiring your kidnapper! "All right, then, start talking. Who are you? What do you know about me... I mean, Kyon?" I did my best to appear intimidating, but given her looks, I doubt I could scare a kitten in this state.

"Who am I? I'm hurt, Kyon. After all, we've been friends for a while, or at least I hope you consider us friends." Despite her wording, she still just kept smiling.

Wait... an irritating smile... a tendency to avoid direct answers... Part of a group that could pull off a kidnapping with precision... and she knows me personally. It could only be...

"K-Koizumi? Is that... did you...?"

"Oh my, you got it!" She clasped her hands together and smiled even more radiantly. "I didn't think you'd get it so quick!"

All of the blood in my body immediately drained to my feet. "I think I'm going to be ill..."

End Chapter 1

A short introductory chapter, with a new (longer) chapter to follow later today. Please tell me what you think. Any comments and critiques are desired on how to improve both the story and my writing as a whole.

Also, I'm well aware that the concept here is overdone and overused, but I wanted to give it a go, so here I am.