This is what happens when you're up until 12 AM discussing various pairings of Reborn with a girl that has to turn everything into a slash pairing. XD! but the good part is I have written a completely pointless R18 story and I have no idea why. Well, maybe because my friend said that she couldn't so I offered.
Another thing, I am a HUUUUGGGE 8059 fangirl so if it seems that there is a bit too much of them in the story... enjoy it?
now, ONWARD TO THE MINDLESS FLUFF!
btw I don't own KHR
---
Sasagwa Ryohei was a man who took everything to the extreme. Seems like a "duh" moment if you knew him for more than two seconds. But lately his energy had become less and less and the Extreme found its way less and less to the boy's speech.
Ryohei had a problem.
Well, he had many problems, but recently he'd had a single subject on his mind.
No it wasn't boxing.
It was Hibari Kyoya.
The boy was the best fighter Ryohei had ever seen. He'd refused Ryohei's offer to join the boxing club-the high school boxing club, although Hibari still attended Nami Middle- and with further insistence, had left Ryohei battered and bruised.
Ryohei knew he was in love then. Hibari's fighting style, the happy malice in his eyes as he fought, the total and complete devotion to fighting, the handcuffs! Problem was, every time he was within fifty yards of Hibari, he was given the most intense glare, and, if he proceeded to talk to said boy with intense glared, he was beaten up on the spot.
Frankly, all it did was make Ryohei fall deeper in love with him.
So what was he to do? He was not slow enough to miss the fact that Hibari was a dude. Which made the hard task completely impossible. As if Hibari wasn't completely void of any warm emotions to begin with with.... Ryohei was up to the challenge though. He was EXTREMELY motivated, he just didn't know where to start.
This was why he found himself sitting in Sawada's room with an extremely uncomfortable Sawada.
"A...u...um... I guess you can... get to know him.. and...be yourself?" Tsuna offered stammering, the idea of Onee-san being in love with Hibari of all people was so unreal, that Tsuna found himself feeling even more embarrassed than he would usually feel.
"Mhm...mhm..." Ryohei said nodding, "Sounds logical, I'll try it... I hope he doesn't try to bite me to death...again."
"And...and you can...um... just don't get hurt okay?" Tsuna added feeling that maybe he'd not helped Ryohei's situation but worsened it.
---
Encouraged, Ryohei started running-because he was too Extreme to just walk- towards Nami middle. He was sure he would find Hibari there.
But even Ryohei knew that talking to the boy was a stupid idea, so he decided to get to know Hibari better from a distance. Upon arrival to Nami middle, Ryohei disguised himself and trailed Hibari thinking that the Disciplinary President would not notice him. However after a couple of hours spent watching Hibari, Ryohei began to feel like a stalker and resolved on getting better advice.
---
Colonello looked at his pupil, trying hard to figure out where he'd gone wrong. However, he was a supporting teacher at least, and decided that as long as Ryohei was happy everything would be fine...right?
"Um... ok, So TRAIN YOUR HARDEST, KORA!" He told Ryohei before escaping. Leaving in his wake a very confused Ryohei.
Ok, Ryohei thought to himself, That was EXTREMELY useless...
---
A few hours later found Ryohei sitting in front of the bear cage at the zoo, talking to his closest friends: the bears.
"I don't know what to do guys, I mean, he's like, really, EXTREMELY hot, but he like, won't talk to me."
He thought the bears looked sympathetic so he went on, unaware that at that moment, the object of his troubles was within earshot."I think you guys would really like my Ryuu! He's really cool and I want to introduce him to Hibari too! But I know he likes small animals. That's cool, not EXTREME, but I can deal with that."
Hibari, who'd been glaring at Ryohei wondering why the stupid Herbivore was talking to dumb animals, was surprised to hear his name mentioned. His expression changing from angry to something that resembled a blush in a normal person, he decided to leave before the herbivore said something else about him.
---
Late that night, while jogging around the city, Ryohei found something that, at once, sparked his interest. It was Yamamoto, standing in front of the door to an apartment complex with his arms around none other than Octopus head.
Ryohei wasn't surprised, nothing those two did ever surprised anyone in the family anymore, he was just interested, so he proceeded to walk closer to the two in order to hear their conversation.
"Hey Hayato... you had fun right?" Yamamoto asked with his usual smile.
Octopus head grumbled something about public displays of affection and his first name-Ryohei wasn't close enough to hear everything- but eventually managed to raise his head and kiss the taller teen before shrugging out of his embrace and walking into the apartments.
Yamamoto, meanwhile, stood in the street counting. He had not counted to ten before the door opened and the black haired boy was pulled inside by a heavily ringed hand.
As the door was closed behind Yamamoto, Ryohei was struck by-what he thought was-an EXTREMELY good idea.
---
"YAMAMOTO! YAMAMOTO!"
Yamamoto looked up from his Algebra homework to find Ryohei running towards him and waving his arms. The boy smiled, not only because this image of Sempai was funny but also because he was happy that Sempai had not changed with high school. "Hey Sempai! Aren't you supposed to be in school right now?"
"I HAVE SOME EXTREME BUSINESS TO DISCUSS WITH YOU!" Ryohei yelled.
Yamamoto, amused by this action, laughed. " Ok, want to come over to the restaurant after school?"
Ryohei, achieving his goal, yelled as he jogged away, "I EXTREMELY THANK YOU!"
He showed up at Takesushi a few hours after school. Yamamoto listened very patiently to his Sempai's explanation and tried-very hard- to not laugh at the poor guy's situation.
"Well, this is kind of tough. Hibari is a hard guy to deal with. Why are you asking me for help again?" He laughed.
Ryohei shrugged, "I thought you would be helpful since you have to date that EXTREME octopus head!"
"Yea, I guess I was in the same situation before." Yamamoto was starting to understand. Ryohei needed help trying to win Hibari, and Yamamoto was nothing if not helpful. He resolved to help Sasagwa-sempai win Hibari Kyoya's heart no matter how hard it would be.
"Except I think that mine is a little more... you know.. EXTREME!" Ryohei added.
Yamamoto furrowed his brows in concentration. When he was crushing terribly on Hayato, nothing he did made the Italian acknowledge his worth, but after they'd gotten together, he was informed that Hayato did not hate him as much as it had seemed. "Well, maybe you can talk to-"
"I already tried that," Ryohei cut in, "It went EXTREMELY badly," the boxing fanatic sighed, "He beats me up every time I go near him!"
"I meant Kusabe. He's always with Hibari, maybe-" but Yamamoto stopped as the door to Takesushi opened and in came Gokudera. He walked over to Yamamoto, spotted Ryohei, and Glared.
"Baseball idiot, what is Lawn Head doing here?" He finally asked, ignoring Ryohei.
"I can be wherever I want stupid Octopus Head!" Ryohei answered although the question wasn't aimed at him.
Gokudera snapped his head towards the older boy, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you!"
Anger flashed behind Ryohei's eyes and he balled his fists "I'LL SHUT YOU UP YOU STUPID BRAT!"
Gokudera, now just as angry, slammed his hands on the table-which only held Yamamoto now. "What THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE!?"
Ryohei looked as if he was about to explode. Instead he pointed a finger at Gokudera "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"
Gokudera slapped the hand away. "GET YOUR EXTREME ASS AWAY FROM HERE!" he paused, lifting Yamamoto by the arm, "We're going somewhere."
Ryohei rolled his eyes at the action, "Will you EXTREMELY shut up!?"
Yamamoto, trying to calm the two fiery teens down, freed his arm from Gokudera's grip and immediately rapped it around his shoulders, "Hey guys, can you calm down...your scaring the customers," he smiled as Ryohei lowered his fists, "Sorry Sempai, I forgot I'm taking Hayato to a movie today."
Gokudera slapped away the arm on his shoulder and turned to yell at Yamamoto, "YOU'RE NOT TAKING ME ANYWHERE MORON-"
Ignoring Gokudera's words, Yamamoto took the other boy's hand in his own and once again addressed Ryohei, "So... I guess we can talk tomorrow?"
"Why do you need to talk to him?" Gokudera snapped, although he didn't let go of Yamamoto's hand, "Tell me!"
Yamamoto shrugged and mumbled a sorry while Ryohei contemplated the pros and cons of telling Gokudera his problems. The answer he came up with was not one Gokudera wanted to hear.
"EXTREMELY NO!" He yelled, to Yamamoto he said, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."
Not in the mood to be denied, Gokudera grabbed Ryohei's collar and pulled him back before the older boy had taken three steps, "Anything you tell him, you tell me!" He said pointing a finger first at Yamamoto then at himself.
"Why?" Ryohei asked with a raised eyebrow.
His answer from Octopus head was an incoherent mumble.
"Excuse me what did you say? I extremely couldn't hear you!" Ryohei responded.
To his surprise, the Italian turned red and buried his face in his boyfriend's chest mumbling something else. Yamamoto, in turn, laughed and informed Ryohei that he, " always tell[s] Hayato everything, although," the rain guardian added, " I can keep this a secret if Sempai wants."
Ryohei looked from Octopus head to Yamamoto, a feeling growing in his stomach. Suddenly, he knew that he wanted what those two had. He wanted to be in Yamamoto's place and he wanted Hibari in Gokudera's.
"Tell me one thing before I leave," He asked seriously, "How did this EXTREME relationship start?"
Octopus head lifted his head from Yamamoto's chest and looked at Ryohei quizzically. "What are you-"
But Yamamoto lifted an arm to stop him, "After we fought Gamma, when I hit Hayato and we talked... it sorta happened..."
".. Got it!" Ryohei repeated. "I EXTREMELY THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP YAMAMOTO!" he screamed and turned to leave.
"Wait, Sempai!" but it was already too late, "Please don't get hurt!" Yamamoto called after him.
"Hey," Gokudera suddenly realized, "You never hit me in the stomach."
"Sempai's mind is a wonder."
"More like he's stupider than you!" Gokudera smirked.
"Hayato..."
"And what did I say about calling me by my first name?"
"I don't remember.... haha... let's hope Sempai doesn't die."
"Who's gonna kill him?" Gokudera asked suspiciously, "No girl's gonna hurt that idiot..."
"Yea well..." Yamamoto didn't finish, instead he took Gokudera's face in his hands and resolved to shove his tongue down the Italian's throat until all thoughts of Ryohei left him.
---
Ryohei had finally spotted Hibari and was about to go to him when the other boy turned around and saw Ryohei. Ryohei groaned. A punch to the stomach of a fighter as flawless as Hibari was going to be EXTREMELY hard. He knew that, yet his mind was set- his determination unfaltering- on punching Hibari and winning the cloud guardian's heart.
Hibari was surprised to see that the Herbivore was not dressed as a bush this time. He didn't know why such an annoying person was following him, yet he was determined to take any situation and turn it into a fight. "Come any closer Herbivore and I'll bite you to death!" he threatened. Said herbivore looked uncertain for all of one second, then the usual determination returned to his face.
"Hibari," He started, "I know we've had our differences but I am here to deliver an EXTREME punch to your stomach!"
It was probably because the herbivore had made such an illogical statement that Hibari found himself facing a flying fist-at least that's what he told himself later. It was all he could do to dodge it. Cursing, Hibari went on the offensive, striking left and right, trying to find an open spot to deliver a blow to. To his surprise, none of his attacks hit. He tried over and over again, but every time the other boy dodged. He thought to strike for Ryohei's forehead. That was when he spotted the scar and when his eyes eyes caught sight of it, he could not look away. He'd never payed attention to the herbivore long enough to notice it. Now it took all his willpower to stop himself from dropping everything and reaching out to touch it. So out out of character....yet Hibari wondered when the herbivore had acquired that scar.
And then..
"Ugh!" He doubled over in pain as something hit him right on the stomach. He watched through pain glazed eyes as Ryohei stood over him, panting and full of excitement.
"THIS IS EXTREMELY AWSOME!" Ryohei yelled, then calmly he added, "So.. Hibari... wanna talk?"
---
"Well he talks to me now! And he doesn't try to bite me to death every time I go near him, but he's like...still EXTREMELY mean." Ryohei confided to Yamamoto a week later as they sat in the kitchen of Takesushi.
"See," Yamamoto commented, "Progress!"
"Yes, I know, but not by much, I think all he wants from me are ETREME fights, and he's always mad..."
"Ok... here's the thing Sempai, you have to treat him really nicely, because I know Hayato gets mad really easy, and sometimes I don't even know what I do to make him mad, so I usually buy him cigarettes to make him better. Does that help?"
Ryohei, who'd been taking notes looked up and nodded, "EXTREMELY!"
---
Hibari was relaxing on the roof of Nami-Middle when he felt a shadow over him. He opened his eyes to find Sasagwa Ryohei standing above him, holding a box of cigarettes and blocking the sun.
"Want to fight herbivore?" He asked the older boy.
Ryohei shook his head and answered: " I bought you cigarettes." He held the box out to Hibari.
"I don't smoke."
"Oh... right..." Ryohei murmured, "How extremely stupid of me."
"Exactly, now scram before I bite you to death!"
Instead of following the command Ryohei sat down next to Hibari and started rambling. "You have to have some emotion somewhere, maybe buried EXTREMELY deep but... I mean you are EXTREMELY friendless and completely anti-social except when you hang out with the Disciplinary Club, and in all the time I've known you, you never once..."
Hibari listened with growing astonishment as the older boy chattered away. He was not angry, just curious. Why wasn't the herbivore leaving him alone? He didn't want to fight-Although Hibari had tried to start one about ten times in the past two days- like that other herbivore Dino, he just wanted to talk, well...yell...
"And then the guy went BOOM and I was EXTREMELY motivated to become a Boxer!" Ryohei was standing up now, his fists in the air with an aura that emitted excitement.
"Boxing is not important," Hibari muttered under his breath, loud enough for the other boy to hear.
"What? .?!?"
And with that one little comment, the love for Hibari was replaced with the desire to defend boxing and a fight ensued, much to Hibari's happiness.
---
Ryohei was starting to think that bringing Hibari to a boxing match might not have been the best idea. But after the fight yesterday, he had once again asked Yamamoto for help. Yamamoto-bless his EXTREME soul- being as nice as anyone could ever hope to be, helped as much as he could.
"Well, Hayato hates baseball," He'd started, again using his own experience as a guideline to help the older boy. "So this one time I took him to the field to teach him how to play. He was angry at first, but it ended up alright..haha! so.. take him somewhere romantic?"
Well... Boxing was romantic as long as Ryohei was concerned.
It wasn't romantic-or very enjoyable- from the look on Hibari's face though. Then again, Hibari always looked pissed off so maybe it wasn't so bad. So instead of worrying about Hibari, Ryohei decided to enjoy the boxing match.
When it was over, he trailed Hibari outside, talking about the EXTREME-ness of the match. Hibari listened-or at least Ryohei thought he was listening-until Ryohei directed a question towards him. "Did Hibari like the match?"
Hibari stopped, turned to face Ryohei and glared.
"What? Why do you have to e an EXTREME ASS about it.. I was just asking..." Ryohei countered.
Hibari "hned" and started walking again. "It wasn't bad."
The honest answer left Ryohei dumbstruck for a moment. When he came to, Hibari was gone.
---
"Haha, so he liked it?" Yamamoto asked sipping the tea his dad had prepared. "That's awesome!"
"Yea... it's pretty EXTRME!" Ryohei said smiling, "But now what do I do?" He asked, his smile diminishing.
"Well.. um.. I don't really know, I mean..maybe... Oh! I know!" Yamamoto finally answered, as he remembered something that had not set Gokudera screaming. "Hayato likes me to take him to eat Italian food. He says Italy is like a really pretty city. So Italian stuff is romantic, right? You should get wine and pasta and make Hibari a dinner."
"Thank you! THAT IS A VERY EXTREME THING TO DO!" Ryohei, once again, left Yamamoto without letting the other boy finish.
"I hope Sempai can cook!" The baseball player said to the empty air.
---
BOOM!
"You stupid Herbivore! I WAS PROMISED FOOD!" Hibari yelled. It was the first time Ryohei had ever heard the cloud guardian yell and he was positive that it wasn't good.
"Well I was making, EXTREME SPAGHETTI!! but... but... there was smoke and the thing on the stove started beeping and then... BOOM! well.. at least the boom was EXTREME!" Ryohei flashed Hibari a smile.
"'T. CARE If the boom was EXTREME or not!" Hibari said through gritted teeth, "You're a FUCKING MORON! and I'm outta here!"
with that, the younger boy leapt out of a nearby window.
"I need to vent..." Ryohei told the exploded spaghetti.
---
The life of a bear is one of relaxation and peace. Well until a certain boxing nut shows up and asks for advice. The worst part is, the moron never listens to the given advice.
"I mean, what do I do...now? He's EXTREMELY angry!"
The bear, who felt obligated to help the white haired human commented, "Well maybe if you talked instead of yelling and tried to explain..."
"Or maybe if you raped him," The lion-who'd been eavesdropping- cut in.
The bear glared across the cage and continued on, "Take him out to a nice dinner..." He offered.
"Or," The lion cut in, "You can just put something in his drink," He smirked.
The human however, did not act as if he'd heard any of these comments, frustrated, the bear growled: "Are you even listening to me?"
"Thanks, it was EXTREMELY helpful venting to you, maybe Yamamoto has another idea..." he said the last part to himself and waved goodbye to the bear cage. The bear was not very happy. "Why do I feel like he paid NO ATTENTION to anything I just said?" He thought to himself.
---
"Yamamoto, the spaghetti BLEW UP!" Ryohei announced as he entered the Takesushi kitchen, "It was EXTREME, but H-" he stopped himself as he realized that Yamamoto was not alone.
"What do you want?" Octopus head asked with his usual amount of dislike.
"You know," Ryohei said addressing Yamamoto, "I EXTREMELY don't understand why you put up with him."
"WHAT DID YOU SAY? I'LL SHOW YOU, YOU EXTREME MORON!" the enraged Gokudera was stopped from tackling Ryohei only because Yamamoto had leapt up at the same time and was holding both the Italian's wrists in an attempt to calm him down. "Now, now Hayato, he was just kidding."
"I EXTREMELY WAS NOT KIDDING!" Ryohei said mischievously.
"I'LL KILL YOU!" Gokudera yelled struggling against the-obviously-much stronger boy. "LET GO OF ME!"
"No!" Yamamoto's response was firm, but his grip on Gokudera's wrists was loosened as he leaned in and the restraint turned into an affectionate embrace, and, to Ryohei's amazement, the Italian calmed down. "Now Hayato...you know I love you..." Ryohei heard the whisper, obviously not intended for his ears, and felt a bit embarrassed. But he couldn't help it if Yamamoto wasn't being a very good whisperer.
"It has nothing to do with you!" Octopus head growled, his glare never leaving Ryohei, "He insulted me first."
Yamamoto, finally sure that Gokudera would not pounce at Ryohei the minute he was released, let go of the smaller boy's shoulders, and instead slid his fingers down Gokudera's arm and hooked them with the storm guardian's fingers. "Well, Hayato doesn't have to act like a five year old, does he?" he asked laughing, "Sempai too, can't you guys get along?"
Ryohei shook his head in amazement, "How do you do that?" he asked, "One minute Octopus head is yelling and screaming and the next minute he's all quiet and sweet just because you say something! WILL YOU TEACH ME?!"
Yamamoto laughed sheepishly, "Well.. I don't really know what else I can help you with... If the Spaghetti exploded and Hibari got angry-"
"HIBARI?" Gokudera exclaimed surprised, "He was cooking for Hibari?As in the Tenth's cloud guardian? As in Namimori Middle's Disciplinary Club President? The 'I'll bite you to death' Hibari?"
Ryohei cringed. Leave it to Yamamoto to blab after he promised he wouldn't!
Gokudera shook his head amazed, "You like Hibari?" He finally asked.
"Yea! So what?"
"So nothing... Why is it that you've told Takeshi though?" Gokudera asked.
"I've been giving Sempai tips!" Yamamoto cut in cheerfully.
"You?" Gokudera asked incredulously, "Why is he asking you for help?"
"Obviously because Hayato loves me so much!" In response to which Yamamoto receive a slap to the head, "See!" he laughed.
Gokudera turned his attention to Ryohei, "What has this idiot told you?"
Ryohei looked at Yamamoto who shrugged. "Well, hmm... be nice, buy cigarettes, take him some where romantic, Italy's a pretty city-"
At which statement Yamamoto was slapped again by an amused Gokudera, "Italy's a country Baseball Freak, not a city! And yes, there's a difference!" He said rolling his eyes and murmuring "Jocks!" under his breath, to Ryohei he said, "Go on."
"Nothing else really..."
"And how is it working out for you?" Gokudera asked with a hint of a smile.
"You know, I EXTREMELY don't want to tell you..."
"Oh what's the point of not telling me!" Gokudera said frustrated.
"AND HIBARI'S EXTREMELY MAD!" Ryohei exploded.
Gokudera nodded once, released his finger's from Yamamoto's grip and started walking towards the exit. Ignoring Yamamoto's "Where are you going Hayato?" He stepped outside the kitchen and said, "Don't worry Lawn Head, I'll help!" Before walking out of the restaurant.
"AH! WHAT DOES HE MEAN BY HELP?"
"I don't know, but I don't want him to confront Hibari alone." A worried Yamamoto replied. "Let's follow him Sempai!"
---
"Hibari!"
"Ugh! What do you want herbivore?" Hibari asked angrily. So many Herbivores occupied the beautiful country of Japan, he wished he could bite them all to death!
"Lawn-head has a crush on you!" The herbivore replied.
"Lawn head?" Hibari asked confused.
"Ryohei." The herbivore answered shaking his head. "The idiot's asking Yamamoto for advice. An idiot helping an even bigger idiot! What's the world come to!" He said more to himself than to Hibari.
"Is this a joke?" Hibari asked suspiciously.
Before the herbivore could answer, Hibari heard the sound of running feet carrying with them Sasagwa Ryohei and Yamamoto Takeshi.
"Hayato, what are you doing?" Asked the raven haired Herbivore.
"I'm helping!" The Italian answered. Turning to Hibari, he said, "I'm not joking!"
Hibari looked at Gokudera Hayato, who looked honest enough, then at Sasagwa Ryohei, who looked like he was about to explode.
"You have to promise that you won't try to cook ever again!" He told the white haired boxer, "And also, I was promised food!"
The look on Ryohei's face was priceless. Although Hibari would never admit that he felt some sort of warm affection as he watched the happiness spread across the older boy's face, he tried to smile.
"I EXTREMELY PROMISE!" Ryohei yelled as he tackled Hibari in what could be called a bear hug. "Wait 'till I tell the bears!"
What did I get myself into? Hibari thought miserably as the air was sucked out of his lungs and his face began to resemble a blueberry.
fin.