Ok so I was thinking this to be a series of one-shot displaying Emmett's humorous side! Me and my friend come up with these at random moments. Enjoy!

They are Vampires. They are planning something for Edward. Bella is, well I don't know where she is, me and my friend just didn't include her in this story lol:

Alice POV

"Have we all got the plan, guys?"

There was a chorus of "Yeah!" except from Emmett who stood with a blank look on his face.

Big shocker! I thought sarcastically.

"Emmett?", I waved a hand in front of his face.

"Wha...Huh...cheese!" He exclaimed randomly.

Oh Boy...I rolled my eyes.

"Have. You. Got. The. Plan? EMMETT?"

"What plan? Huh? Are you guys planning to throw me in a well or something? Please don't!! I'm too young to die! Oh wait, I can't die....okay you're good!"

"WHAT THE HELL?!" We all yelled at him.

"Rosie, make them stop yelling at me," He pouted.

"Emmett, I would but, since they have a point…."

"ANYHOO!" I said. I explained the plan to Emmett, making sure that, this time, he was actually listening.

It's not that Emmett's stupid or anything, well maybe he is a bit loosely-wired, he just has a REALLY short attention span. Wait, I don't think he has ever in the first place….

"Got it Emmett?"

"Got it psychic!"

I had a vision, I saw Edward walking up the front steps to the house.

"GUYS! Edward's going to be here in"-I looked at my watch-"two minutes. He is NOT to know about the plan. Okay? Now occupy your thoughts."

"Oh, and Emmett?" Rosie added.

"Please don't let me down" She said.

"Aw Rosie! Emmett could never let you down….any further..than he already has because you know there is a limit to everything." I giggled.

"Hey!" Emmett said.

"Whatever," I mumbled.

"Okay. He's here. Go!"

I started translating Pride and Prejudice into Greek.

Edward POV

As soon as I walked through the door I knew something was wrong because everyone was hiding their thoughts from me.

I looked over at Alice who was translating Pride and Prejudice into Latin.

What the Hell? I thought.

I look over at Rose who is imagining herself in different hairstyles. And apparently, she thinks she looks fabulous in all of them.

Rosalie will be Rosalie I rolled my eyes.

I turned my gaze to Jasper scrutinizing. I glared at him hoping he would crack. No such luck. He is still thinking through the events of the Civil War.

And then I turned to Emmett, guess what he was thinking.

Eggs and Bacon, Eggs and Bacon, Eggs and Bacon, Eggs and Bacon...over and over again.

I couldn't hold my laughter in and rolled around the floor laughing.

"What the Hell Emmett?!" I stood up clutching my sides.

Alice glared at Emmett.

"Okay what is going on guys? Alice is translating Pride and Prejudice into Latin. Jasper is thinking of the Civil War. Rosalie is thinking of different hairstyles that would suit her and Emmett…Emmett"

I cracked up laughing again.

"And..and Emmett…do you guys wanna know what he was thinking?"

They all nodded except for Emmett who had zoned out again.

"Okay so there's you guys thinking of something constructive and then Emmett who's like..EGGS AND BACON, EGGS AND BACON"

Then we all fell around on the floor laughing while Emmett went to get ice cream from the freezer.

Oh well I thought He'll realize he can't eat it soon enough

What do you think? Like it? Hate it? Should I do more

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