Disclaimer: Nothing is what I own! NOTHING!

AN: Well, first of all a shout out to MIKE KROMER for giving me my 100th review! Hurrah! Hurray! Celebrate! Where's the cake? The ice cream? The alcoholic beverages? (Just kidding!)

AN#2: WOW! I did get a lot of feedback from the last chapter…most of which was positive—much appreciated, you guys!

AN#3: So here it is…I'm sorry, but I don't think this chapter's gunna be very good at all. It was really very difficult for me to write. And I don't know if I should do like Tohru's side for this chapter and then Kyo's side for the next chapter…or should I just get on with it? Idk. Help?

POLL RESULTS: Well, the voting was pretty spread out, but the winner *drum roll* was Kyo with 4 votes, then a three way tie of Shigure, Haru, and Momiji in second place.

Anyway, on with it…I guess…I'm expecting some flames on this one. Sorry you guys if this is a MAJOR disappointment.

*Why Ch. 15: The Meeting and Magic Words*

"Kyo?" I called, the words leaving my lips before I could contain them. Instantly, I regretted speaking, my hand flying to my mouth as if I could catch the word before it reached him. No success. His eyes flickered and a light blush flew to his cheeks as I spoke his name.

My knees began to shake. I hadn't been expecting him at all…maybe Shigure or Hatori…or maybe even Yuki…but Kyo?

He started to walk towards me.

I'd had no time to prepare.

He was alone.

That scared me.

Adrenaline was pumping through my system.

If he was alone…That meant he had something to say…

…THAT terrified me to the bone.

My entire body was trembling.

I'd been ignoring the thoughts of this first meeting between us, trying desperately to contain the unending pain and sadness that I thought meeting him might bring. I'd put a lid on it, quite bluntly. Put aside this meeting. Lulled myself into believing that I would be forever with the Kyo of my dreams…the Kyo that told me he loved me…that saved me...held me…and even kissed me…

But those were all fantasies.

Reality stood before me, uncomfortably shifting in his white and red striped dress shirt.

And it terrified me.

It seemed as if I were standing on the top of a cliff, my feet dangling over the edge, dangling over his answer…

With every step he took in my direction, my heart pounded faster, harder, wilder.

What had he come to say?

I debated with myself.

Run?

Stay?

He stopped in front of me, his hands in his pants pockets.

Running seemed like the more comfortable avenue the longer we stood there, a seemingly impossible distance stretching between us when in all actuallity, i could have just reached out, and touched him

The wind blew again, brushing his hair gently away from his face. I could feel the jolt as my heart jumped, the heat of blush on my cheeks, the surge of adrenaline that left my knees weak as we watched each other.

The love I felt for him was undeniable, even now.

And I wondered…

His eyes widened with shock. His gaze moved up and down my body, and I suddenly felt hot and self conscious despite my layers of clothing.

The way he was looking at me was not the way in which a man would do of his beautiful, admirable girlfriend. His looks were those of shock, disbelief, and pain. He was looking at my injuries, at my fragile, broken body, and at the bruises and the bandages…at the red wristband…

I nervously pulled at my hair, trying desperately to hide the purple hand-like bruises that circled around my neck.

All these bruises…

…they made me inferior…tears began to well in my eyes, threatening to give me away. I stepped back.

A hand suddenly caught my own. I winced and looked up, and I could swear my heart momentarily stopped.

I lost myself in the intensity of his deep red eyes.

Time seemed to stop momentarily, all my worries melting away into nothingness…

It could have been minutes, or hours even that we stood there.

He bit his lip.

Swallowed.

He was shaking…

He pulled his eyes from mine and the worry and fear returned in a rush as my eyes dropped to the concrete.

My heart began to pound again, filling my head with its nonsensical, nonstop rhythm.

And then, ever so gently, he reached up, brushing my hair away so that he could look. And I could not deny the electricity that zipped through my veins at his tender touch. I dared to look up again, watching him from the corner of my eye. I bit my lip, preparing for the worse, and judged his reaction.

His breath caught in his throat and his face paled, and I started to pull away. But he shook his head, no, and held firm. The sadness and the agony reflected in his eyes kept me spellbound. His fingers trembled.

His mouth hung open, as he began tenderly touching the bruises, the cuts, and then his hand and eyes moved to my face…

Our eyes met. A roar of fire flashed through me, shaking me, leaving me breathless…He held my gaze intently, neither of us daring to blink, gauging each other's reactions. He was testing me, testing my boundaries. My own breathing faltered as he caressed my face, cupped my chin in his hand... My knees threatened to buckle under my own weight. Very cautiously, he placed a finger against the purple black eye I had.

And as much as I tried not to, I flinched.

And the spell was broken. He pulled away immediately, his eyes wounded as he dropped my hand from his own. He suddenly looked much older, more weathered. He turned, as if to leave, hurt reading clearly in his actions and his body language.

An intense desperation surged through me, and I stepped after him, grabbing his hand.

He froze, glancing back at me, a look of pure torture on his face.

I wondered if my face looked the same…

We both looked away hurriedly, but he remained, his huge hand still resting in mine.

I spotted a bench and led him there. I noticed I was still trembling …and I was sure he could tell.

And I was sure he could hear my heart, racing along as he held my hand.

We took our seats, neither of us looking at each other, neither of us speaking.

Minutes passed.

An hour passed…

The silence stretched on endlessly.

I watched the cherry blossoms as they danced in the breeze, the larks as they flitted about from branch to branch above us, all the while trying to contain the overwhelming feeling of dread.

Silence.

And the silence, for me, was answer enough.

My eyes burned.

My chest ached…

I knew. I had known. I had known all along…this silence between us served as proof enough for me….proof that he really didn't love me.

I remembered back to that night, cringing past all the painful memories. It was fuzzy for me…but I tried to remember.

I faintly remembered passing out. Waking up after he had gone and left me. Stumbling along. The feeling of blood, of my very life, draining out of my body, dripping and falling away…Dying…Collapsing onto my mother's grave while the sky cried torrents of rain. And then hearing people screaming. Someone holding me, telling me they loved me…

But it was all fuzzy.

And probably a lie.

My heart plummeted in my chest and I dropped his hand.

I couldn't look at him. Tears welled again in my eyes, and a wave of immense guilt washed over me.

I was guilty for the way I looked.

Guilty for what had happened.

Guilty for what I'd put him through.

And guilty for loving him.

I closed my eyes, a quiet sob racking my body.I could feel him watching me. The tension and nerves radiating off his body were nearly tangible. I prepared myself. Fighting, warring with myself, I pulled it all together. I composed my face, kept it blank, and prepared for the worst, for the news I was sure he was here to deliver.

I could hear the words already in my head…"Tohru, I don't love you…" And even just imagining it, hearing the words in my head...it broke me. Shattered me to pieces. Stole my breath.

I started to turn to him, my heart threatening to rip in two, and ask what it was he wanted…

…but he surprised me.

He was reaching into his pocket, pulling something out.

"Here," he mumbled, shoving something my way, looking down at the cracks in the sidewalk. I took his gift gingerly, not daring to look at anything more than his masculine hands…and not daring to touch those hands…

…those hands in which mine fit perfectly…

I shook my head, ridding the thought from my mind, and glanced at what he'd given me. I slowly slipped the plain, baby blue colored cloth from the gift, and a book fell softly into my lap.

This made me flinch, of course.

Unfortunately, Kyo had not missed my reaction, and was now staring at me intensely in concern…I could feel the stare...but I dared not look.

The pain eased, but my heart still raced, and blood rushed to my cheeks.

I could not meet his piercing stare.

I knew that if I did look at him…

Even just once more…

I would be lost…

The damn would break. All hell would break loose. The waters of feelings and words would spill out uncontrolled like violent rapids…

I would explode. And loose him forever.

I picked the book up carefully, and examined it.

"A journal?" I asked.

He nodded. I was surprised he had heard me.

I flipped the tiny book around in my fragile fingers, my fingertips running up each bamboo strip, touching each delicately painted flower as they glittered in the sunlight…

It was beautiful…and it was perfect.

Perfect.

"Figured you might…you know…need it...or whatever…" he said, his voice awkward and pitchy as he mumbled.

I nodded, flipping through the blank pages…

And I suddenly was aching for a pen…

As I rewrapped the delicate journal in its cloth something caught my eye. An elderly man and woman walked by, the man wearing an overcoat over his hospital gown, and the woman in a bright, conservative dress. Their wrinkles lifted as they laughed, entranced in each other.

Matching wedding bands glinted in the sunlight on their clasped hands. Their eyes sparkled with a love unaffected by time.

And I wished, quite selfishly, that I could, just once, feel that kind of love with someone…

That I could love and be loved…

…by the person next to me.

I bowed my head, hugging the journal to my chest with my good hand.

Reality washed over me again.

He still had not said anything.

And as time wore on, I began to doubt he would say anything…that he perhaps could not speak…

I was overwhelmed, and my eyes burned with tears.

I begged silently for him to say it. For him to just get it out and get it over with…

Because this was too much. He was just here as my friend, not my lover….

I sobbed aloud, and he jumped. Inwardly, I was breaking, yelling at myself for my stupidity. How dare I…how could I ever have thought…that he could love me! Tears escaped and slipped down my cheeks as I cried. How could I ever have been so…foolish?

"You're so dumb. Just a dumb, stupid little girl…"

He was right. I had fooled myself long ago, into thinking that maybe, just maybe, the man beside me loved me too. What an idiot I was…I began to shake with anger, pain, and self pity…how could I have been so...stupid?

A man like him…he could never…love me…

I was stupid. Naive. Ugly. Maybe that man in the alley…the one who had…raped me…nearly killed me…had seen me for what I really was…?

"Tohru?" Kyo called, his voice worried. I sensed him leaning over, about to wrap an arm around me.

I sobbed aloud again, my heart ripping in two.

I loved him.

"Are you okay?" he asked again.

But there was no way…

I jumped up and away from him, ignoring the slight pain in my ribs, and turned to leave.

"WAIT!" he yelled, attracting everyone's attention…including my own. There was fear and alarm in his voice, written across his face…

"Tohru, please…please don't leave…" he begged. And the desperation in his voice was undeniable, binding…

I stopped, staring between the hospital and the bench, torn.

"Please," he begged again.

And I was shocked.

He was letting me decide. Leaving it all up to me. I could stay…or I could leave…and even though he didn't want that, I had the nagging feeling that he wouldn't try to stop me if I left.

...

I took my seat.

I stared at the ground. So did he.

We sat in silence again.

I felt cold.

Alone.

Lost.

Numb.

Hurt…

I waited for the questions: "Why did you do it?" "Are you insane?" "What were you thinking?" "Why didn't you talk to someone?"…but they never came.

A shiver went up my spine suddenly and I turned, alarmed, blood rushing to my cheeks.

Kyo had taken my arm, and was gently unwrapping the bandages on my wrist.

I tried to yank away my arm, feeling again self conscious, but he held me firmly. Gently. But firmly. I whimpered and gave in, giving myself to him. I dared to look…

…And I was entranced.

He bent over, working softly at the bandages, focusing on them and not looking at me as I watched him. His orange locks fell over his handsome eyes…his fingers gently touched the red wristband. He pushed it aside without even a second glance…and then he undid the last bandage.

I looked away, my whole face contorting into a grimace as I heard his sharp inhale.

I'd seen it, of course…and it wasn't pretty. Two long, identical scores...one by my own hand. The one I'd inflicted was jagged, inexperienced…The other was clean, easy, experienced…

The sutures had inflamed the area, and the skin was bright pink, contrasting with the horrible clarity of the sutures themselves.

I flinched, trembled, and found myself watching him again. I inhaled…held my breath…and could only stare in wonder…

Kyo was bent over my wrist, a pained look of understanding on his face. He traced each cut gingerly, his fingertip bumping over each stitch. His breath fanned over my wrist, cooling it, and he bent lower, as if to kiss the slits…

I snatched my arm away, leaving it in my lap, my face red with blush...

"Well…aren't you going to ask?" I demanded, forcing myself to look away as his eyes flashed suddenly to my face. He straightened up in his seat.

Another new rush of emotion came over me.

And this time…

It was anger.

I was, for lack of a better word, pissed. This was cruel. Mean. What he was doing…it was easy to imagine his actions as ones of love and adoration…

…but he just couldn't love me…

…he didn't love me…

…he was just toying with me.

I wondered why he was here. Why he was doing this. Why he was being so nice…Why he wasn't SAYING it.

My voice had been acidic and angry, I had not imagined it.

But I couldn't take it anymore…

I was breaking.

"Just say it, Kyo…" I said softly, my voice shaky.

"Say what?" he asked.

I jumped up again, indignant, my body boiling with rage and hurt.

This was pure torture. The rape itself, the pain, the memories, they all seemed insignificant when compared to this.

"Say what?" he asked again, his voice more urgent.

My body shook, my lips trembled…and I snapped.

"TELL ME YOU DON'T LOVE ME!" I screamed, attracting everyone's attention yet again. Everyone stopped. Stared. Talked, made their own assumptions, and gradually went on.

He fell silent. And the silence killed me. It was like he was, without words, saying 'yes, that's it.' My blood boiled. Tears spilled over again, leaving me raw, naked, exposed…

And I accepted it.

This silence of his…it had to be his way of telling me…and as prepared as I'd tried to make myself, this raw acceptance killed me…rocked my world…ripped my heart in two…

"Oh well…" I stuttered, crying, "I always knew…I always knew…that you didn't…"

I turned toward the hospital and away from him, feeling as if my whole entire body were breaking.

And suddenly his hand snatched out, grabbing my open wrist again.

But I'd had it. I wanted nothing more of him, of this man that didn't love me…of this man whose kindness was slowly killing me.

I fought. He gripped me tightly and then even harder as I struggled, and I shook from the pain. I fought him, but he held me. I was no match for him. I eventually caved and just stood there, glaring, yes glaring, at him.

He inhaled. And I prepared myself too, holding my breath, not daring to blink as I walled myself from within, prepared for the onslaught.

Prepared to hear those devastating words…

"No." I was shocked, confused by his answer, and stared intently at his face…his face, looking so pained, so tortured…

He still had not let up on my arm…he was holding me as if this was his last reprieve, his last try…

As if I was his lifeboat in a never ending ocean.

"No?" I repeated, confused.

He did not look up, but spoke slowly, enunciating clearly, making sure I heard everything.

He traced the stitched cuts again, sending a shiver up my spine.

"I'm not going to ask why you did it."

I opened my mouth to protest, and he shook his head violently, silencing me.

"Let. Me. Finish." He said through grit teeth, clearly working hard.

I settled, and he relaxed his grip.

"I won't ask because…because…I know…what it's like…"

"What?"

"I know what it feels like…to want to die…and not go on…to be so done with everything…to be so wrapped up in pain that living on just seems cruel…I was like that, after my mom died."

I listened wordlessly, enraptured by his careful compilation of words. This was the most eloquent he'd ever spoken, even if the words were troubled.

"But then I found Shishou…he gave me a reason for living…he IS the reason i AM still living...the reason I'm still here on this Earth...He helped me, raised me, taught me…even when things were tough, even when my past began to haunt me, he was there for me. Even if he had to beat me in the dojo to do so, he supported me.

And Tohru…I don't…I don't want you to give up…"

My breath caught. I was frozen.

"Tohru...you CAN'T give up...you cant...think. What would your mom want? Would she want you to give up? No. And...and...what about your father, huh? Do you think that they would just...let you die? Do you think they would just willingly give in and take you away?...Away from here and away from your friends and away from...me?"

He looked up, and there were tears in his eyes as he and I stared at each other.

My knees were shaking, my anger dwindling away…

"Please…Tohru…don't give up…I…I couldn't….I couldn't live….without you…you are always saving me, Tohru...and now...now that you've been hurt so badly like this..it's my turn. It's MY turn." His voice picked up in urgency, and a tear spilled over onto his flushed cheeks. "I want to support you, Tohru!" he yelled. "Even when things are tough! Even when you feel like giving up! DON'T!" The tears were falling from my eyes as well.

"You aren't ever alone, Tohru…and I know that…I know that I don't understand all of what you're feeling…hell, I may not understand any of it…but I want you to know…you have to know…that I'm here for you!" Another tear dripped down his chiseled cheek, and fell from his jaw. "Tohru…right now…right now I'm scared, Tohru."

I couldn't breathe.

"I've been such a fool, Tohru…I'm terrified... Scared so badly that I lay awake at night. Scared so badly that I can't eat or think…I'm scared of…you…"

"M…me?" I gasped.

"Yes…Tohru…I'm so scared of loosing you…when I found out what had happened…when I found you there in the graveyard…when I picked up your broken, bloody body, I cried like a little kid…I was so…scared…."

"Wh…what are you s…s…saying…?" I stuttered.

"Tohru…I…I…" his body shook, and he looked at me, unblinkingly. He gripped my arm tightly, his whole body shaking.

We were here, on this cliff together.

We were at the climax. Breaking together. Neither sure what lay on the other side...and only sure of one thing.

"I WANT US TO STAY TOGETHER!" he yelled.

Time seemed to stop.

We stared at each other.

My knees gave out.

I fell to the ground, but felt no pain. I was gone.

My heart began to pound out a new rhythm. A bold, beautiful new one. I became overwhelmed with love…and with joy…

Tears overflowed. Sobs racked my body.

But I was happy.

Those words…were exactly what I had said to him…they were magic words.

I remembered back,back to the night where I had seen his true form.

He had given up then. And so had I…until…I had realized something. As I had walked into the clearing, saw him in his other, monstrous form, fighting with Yuki...

I remembered his dark, lost eyes staring into mine…the eyes of an angry, hurt animal…wounded beyond anything I could ever imagine…and…

…I was scared.

I had imagined, briefly, loosing Kyo. And it had ripped me to the core. Shook me to the bones.

I wouldn't have been able to go on…without Kyo…and I would have done anything...ANYTHING...for us to stay together.

"I...I'm scared of you right now, Kyo," the words had fallen shakily from my lips, fear twisting them. He had roared and tried to shake me off and run. But I had held on.

Desperately.

As if it were MY last reprieve, my last try before my world crashed down…

As if he was MY lifeboat in a never ending ocean.

"I've been a fool…I've been such a fool…"

I became vaguely aware of Kyo's body close to mine, leaning his head against mine, tears coming from him as well, holding my hands…

But i was still lost in the past...

"I'm so scared right now, Kyo…I'm scared of loosing you…but…but…I want us to stay together!" I had screamed, my heart breaking as had I prepared for the worst. Prepared to try and survive...without Kyo...

But a miracle had happened.

He had changed back.

Cried with me.

Held me.

Just like he was doing now.

Only this time, I was the one being saved.

"Tohru?" he called, breaking me from my memories. I glanced up, and into his face, into those intense eyes that were overflowing with emotion. I was lost, entranced, bewildered...it was a dream...a dream Id had before...but those dreams? They all paled in comparison to THIS...the sunshine, the birds, the cherry blossoms...it was all REAL...and the realest thing about it was Kyo, sitting in front of me, smiling, his hands over mine. "Come back to me….and stay with me."

And he was leaning in, his hands on either side of my face, his eyes closing.

My heart danced in my chest.

My blood sang with happiness.

Tears of joy were running down my face.

He…

And then, very softly, our lips touched.

…loved me.

Kyo Sohma loved me.

END CHAPTER 15

YAY KYO! He's FINALLY BEING A MAN! A MAN!

So proud of the guy~~*sniffle*

It's like I'm the daddy and watching my child grow up!

NOTE: I KNOW how the series REALLY ends, okay? I KNOW how they finally confess their love etc. I own ALL the manga and all the anime. So don't flame and yell "THIS IS NOT RIGHT"

That's WHY it's a FANFICTION, guys. GEEZ.

OMG I HATED THIS CHAPTER

It was the very BANE of my existence.

Please review.

Next chapter is basically Kyo's side.

And don't worry, even though this MAY seem like a good ending point, it won't be :D

-Inulover411