So I was reading a great SasuNaru fic on Deviantart last night and decided I wanted to write this little whatever it is. I think I'm gonna make it longer since I was half asleep typing this. And there'll be a Matt chapter later on too! Now read and feel the OOCness of Mello!

Hey Matty.

Yeah I know I don't do this…well, ever, but I just feel like I have to this time. I have so much stuff in my head I need to get some out so new stuff can pile on in and take its place. I really hate it when that happens, don't you?

Well, we're kidnapping Takada tomorrow. Scary huh? Are you worried? Pfft, of course you're not. You never show more emotion than necessary and fear definitely isn't necessary, or wanted, right now. OK, so I want you to be scared, but that's not exactly the point. I want you to be scared though; not for me, for you. I want to be afraid that you're going to die so you'll stay here and let me handle this on my own. There's no one in this world I want to keep alive more than I want you to live right now. You really are the most important person in my life, you know.

I know I never say it, never want to say it. I feel like if I say it out loud, you'll freak out at me and I'll never see you again. Plus affection isn't my forte. But you've always known that. If you didn't I don't think we'd get along as well as we do. You can see the little things that mean more with me, just like I know you're always listening even if your eyes are clued to that box of circuits I want to blow up sometimes.

God, I can tell right now this is gonna be a sappy…thing when I'm done with it. Well, I can give myself this one day to be emotional since we both know it'll most likely be our last. I don't want it to be…I want to spend endless days with you. Hugging you, kissing you, making you squirm and moan beneath me. We just don't have that freedom at the moment. If this works without us dieing I promise we'll forget all inferiority complexes and Kiras and even Near and move somewhere we can just be us. I'm thinking San Francisco or New York, they seem pretty alright for American cities. We'll have all the video games, chocolate and cigs we could ever want and we'll be happy, just you and me.

I'm sorry. I wanna say that now since I don't think I'll be able to say it any other time. I'm sorry that I have you risking your life for someone as insignificant and insubstantial as myself. And don't even think of giving me some stupid spiel about how I'm not insignificant if I'm fighting to stop Kira, 'cause if you do, I swear I'll find you and kick you in the balls. Don't ask me how I'll know; we have that telepathy thing OK? I'm sorry you're gonna die. I don't want you to. I really just don't. But I don't have the strength to go through with this without knowing I have you backing me up. Jesus Christ am I selfish. I'm willing to risk you just to kick Near's ass at something that really is nothing more than a game.

I can hear you talking in your sleep. Did you know you did that by the way? I usually stay up late just to hear what you say. It's always something different, but always about two things too. Me, you, and some video game or other. I think you're always rescuing me from something, too. Once it was actually that nasty looking thing from those dorky Lord of the Rings movies; you know the one that always spoke about his precious or whatever? That was funny. I almost threw up I was laughing so hard. And you never even woke up, too lost in your own head to notice anything else in the world. I'm glad you weren't with me in the Mafia like that. You'd have been killed in your sleep love.

Ugh that just gave me the most disgusting feeling I've ever experienced. And that's saying something.

I'm going to miss hearing you talk in your sleep. It's my favorite thing to do when I can't sleep. I'll miss your hair too. I'm still not sure it's natural and I've known you for so long it's ridiculous; it's just so…vibrant. Just like the rest of you. I wish I could have watched you grow into the wonderful, stunning person I'm looking at now. It would have been interesting, I'm sure. Then again, maybe if I'd been there to watch it, you'd be different. I'd still love you beyond words, but you wouldn't be this…willing to sacrifice yourself. At least I would hope not, there would be no need if I had just stayed with you.

You remember that time we got some C4 and blew up that little part of the forest at Wammy's just so we could play games there? I think Roger almost killed us that day. I don't know why I'm thinking about that now of all times, but it reminded me of how I blew up that base in Los Angeles. You saved me then. I thought I was going to die. You've probably saved me more times than I know of. I bet you know though, you always do. I don't get how you can not do anything and still have been third at Wammy's. Hell, if you had done anything you'd have been first and than I'd be where you are now. Though I'd follow you willingly if you had been number one instead of Near. I wonder if Roger would have suggested you and Near work together like he did for us. I guess we'll never know, will we?

Well, I need to end this thing before I end up saying something stupid that'll bother me throughout the entire plan. I'm sure you'll be in the forefront of my mind anyway, but why add fuel to the fire?

I know I never really said it Matty-boy but I love you more than anything. If you had asked I would have given up fighting Near for you. You never would, but I would have done it happily if it meant a perfect life with you. I love you so much it hurts to be away from you for more than a few hours and even those are torturous at best.

Promise you won't cry when I die. I know it's asking a lot, but please don't. I'll haunt your ass forever if you do, don't think I won't.

I promise things will be better for you when I'm gone. It'll hurt for a while but you'll live. You're strong, I know you are. You're the strongest person I've ever met. You better remember me though. And you better put chocolate on my grave once a month. Maybe twice…I get hungry you know.

Heh yeah, I'm a bit out of it right now.

I really love you Matty-boy, from the bottom of my heart I do. I'll be watching you from wherever it is I'm going when I die, so be good OK?

Mello

P.S.: I know you think it's stupid, but I'll be praying for you to live tomorrow. It's the least I can do since you refuse to listen to reason. Maybe if you live you'll reconsider religion. Heh, I can dream can't I?

Yup totally OOC! But I thought it was cute... Tell me what you think should be changed/added, mk? And ideas for the Matt chapter? I promise to give credit to anyone who shares ideas! Now hit that review button! Hit it hard!