Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own so please don't sue.

Learning To Share: 3

"I'm sorry."

The statement was quiet, as was everything Miharu did. Yoite had suspected for a little while now that the boy was awake but hadn't had the courage to say anything himself. And then, in a voice just as quiet but with the slightest hint of sorrow, "I'll move."

"No!"

The force of the word surprised Yoite every bit as much as it did Miharu. But more than that, to Miharu it was confusing. Wasn't this what Yoite wanted? Wasn't his being here like this what was bothering him? "But…you're crying."

"It's not…I mean…I, uh," He could tell that his floundering was only confusing Miharu all the more, but how was he supposed to explain this? How was he supposed to tell the boy that while he wanted him to move, he also didn't want him to move, couldn't allow him to move, yet? 'Damn it, why is it always so complicated?'

"But, I'm making you uncomfortable. I can tell. You don't want me to touch you. I'm sorry, Yoite." And with that he started to shift, his leg of all things.

"Stop!" was all he could think to say as he squeezed the smaller boy to his chest. Miharu froze, confusion and unease evident in the way every muscle in his small body had locked up at that one word.

"I…I don't understand. You don't like to be touched, and you're crying. And…and your heart's pounding again. It hurts you when that happens, I know it does. I need to move, you should let me move."

"I can't." The words came out in a nearly choking sob, and that more than anything else convinced Miharu to stop struggling, to force himself to calm down and relax.

As he eased himself back down into the position he'd been in before, he realized, for the first time, that Yoite had one arm around him, and that it had been there for quite a while now. When had that happened, and how had he missed it? And if his being so close was what was bothering Yoite, as he'd assumed, then why had the older boy put his arm around him? Whatever was happening, it obviously wasn't what he'd thought it was, and the best thing he could do right now was to let Yoite work this out in his own way.

As gently as he could manage, Miharu tilted his head up to look at his best friend's face. "It's okay, Yoite," he whispered. "I won't move if you don't want me too, but you need to stop crying. Please. It'll make your chest hurt and you'll wear yourself out. Please Yoite, don't cry anymore."

There was a slight shudder in the chest he was laying on, and a hitch in the breath that escaped it. But then, very carefully, Yoite brought his other arm over and cradled Miharu's head in his palm, gently ruffling the mop of hair just above the base of his neck. So surprised was he by this unexpected show of affection that he almost didn't feel the light kiss on the top of his hair.

He shivered. He couldn't help it. Yes, he'd just told Yoite that he wouldn't move again but he just couldn't help himself. The wave of sensation and emotion that flooded through him at that touch was beyond his ability to control. And it damn near rendered him deaf, dumb, and blind.

He was back in that dream again, back under those warm blankets with Yoite, with the distant sound of the ocean breaking gently against the shore. But this time there was more, so much more. Where there had once been an easy companionship and shared closeness, both emotional and physical, there was now heat. A serious heat, but not like any he'd ever known before. It wasn't just a companionable, soothing warmth. It was way too hot for that, but it didn't burn either. And the weirdest part was that it wasn't external, like body heat. It was inside of him; way down deep, in his center…and it was the most incredible thing he had ever felt

"Wow."

"Hm?"

"Uh, sorry. It's just…"

"What?"

"…"

"Miharu?"

"C-could you, um…do that, again? Please?"

For a long moment nothing happened, and Miharu began to wonder if he'd embarrassed his friend again. Or maybe Yoite didn't know what he was asking for. Or, what if he'd fallen asleep again? Wouldn't that be ironic, given the circumstances? Then he heard it, a very soft,

"Okay."

And there it was again, that soft breath that bathed his scalp in warmth as Yoite turned to kiss his hair, spreading that incredible heat through him like a wave and making him shiver all over. His body went all loose and limp, like freshly made noodles that had been laid out to dry. He could feel himself practically melting into Yoite. Is this what people meant when they said they felt boneless? If so then they could take his whole skeleton and stick it on that metal pole in the biology lab for all he cared. He didn't need it anymore. "Mmmmm."

The sound of his name whispered softly into his hair brought him back to reality.

"Hm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Mm-hmm."

He could just make out the sound of Yoite's quiet laughter at his answer, and feel the corresponding smile against the top of his head.

"Miharu."

"Hm?"

"You're purring."

-----

It was impossible to decide which he liked better; the sound of Miharu purring like a lazy kitten or the giggles that erupted when Yoite mentioned it to him. Not that it made any difference one way or the other. Both were very nice, musical in their own way, and special. They were certainly uncharacteristic of the indifferent and lack-luster attitude that Miharu had spent so much time hiding behind, back when they'd first met.

'Is he really that happy? Is it because of me?' He hoped so. But no matter how many times Miharu told him so, assured him that they were friends…well, old habits died hard, didn't they. So lost was he in his musings that he didn't realize until it was too late that Miharu had moved again, into a very uncomfortable position.

The purring comment had elicited more than a giggle fit from the boy who had snuck into his bed. Miharu had taken the remark to heart and gone into a full body kitten stretch, complete with the sound effects. After which, he'd returned to snuggling against his best friend, including pulling his leg up so that it made contact with Yoite's crotch. His reaction was immediate, the grunt and sudden curling up and away form the impact to protect himself, instinctive.

"Oh shit! I'm sorry Yoite, I didn't mean it. Damn it! Are you okay?"

Hs considered playing the whole thing off, attempting to cover the fact that such things didn't bother him physically by acting as if they did, as if he, like any other boy, would be 'grievously wounded' by such an accident. But Miharu was so worried, so apologetic, thinking that he was in pain; he just couldn't go through with it.

"It's fine. I'm alright."

"No you're not. I hurt you, again." That last bit sounded so guilt ridden, so pitiful that Yoite wanted to scream at him to stop it, stop acting as if everything was his fault. He turned to face Miharu and before he even knew what he intended to do he'd grabbed the boy by the back of the head and pulled their faces close together.

"I am fine." The words were clipped and harsher than he had intended, but Miharu got the message. At least, he looked as though he had; he'd settled back into a sitting position so that they now faced each other, and he wasn't mewling over him any more. He let go of the boy's head and muttered in a somewhat gentler tone, "You fuss like an old woman."

"Just over you."

"Do I look that bad?"

"Yeah."

'Yeah,' he supposed he did, to Miharu anyway, about the only person who really cared enough to notice. But…hadn't Yukimi been fussing at him lately too? Not to mention how upset Kazuho had gotten the last time he let himself get caught out in the rain. Hanabusa-san seemed worried too, if the way she was always shoving food in front him was any indication; and she'd insisted that he stay here even after catching them practically breaking into her house. Maybe Miharu wasn't the only one who cared.

It was a nice thought, one that gave him a pleasant feeling in his chest and stomach. But… "What if it's a dream?' He'd had so many; and not all them while he was asleep. Or were they? He fell asleep so easily these days it was hard to tell anymore. Maybe…

"Earth to Yoite."

"Uh?" was all he could think to say as he rubbed the spot on his forehead where Miharu had poked him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to get you to come back to the land of the living."

What he was doing was sitting very close and staring at Yoite as if he was a bug walking along the window sill, and it was making him very nervous. "I'm here. I told you, I'm fine."

"Then I guess you can tell me what I've been talking about for the last five minutes."

"Uh…"

"You said that already. Problem is; I didn't. You lose." And with that he reached up and around to pull the blanket over Yoite's shoulders, "I said that if you're going to sit up the rest of the night you should cover yourself, before you catch cold," and tucked it firmly in place, in his lap.

The hiss that escaped him as Miharu pressed on his lower abdomen was quiet, put not quiet enough for Miharu to miss, and the look the boy gave him was one of both confusion and frustration. "You lied."

"I didn't."

"You said you were fine, twice, but you're not. If it hurts then just admit it already. There's no shame in it." And though the tone was one of exasperation, Yoite couldn't help but notice that he was fussing even more now than he had before. "I got hit there by a soccer ball once and couldn't stand up for half an hour. Seriously, it's okay if it hurts"

"But it doesn't." He'd tried, he really had, but he just couldn't keep the shame out of his voice at those three words, and if Miharu had been confused before he was absolutely dumb-founded now. He stared, and Yoite stared back, or he tried to, until the shame became too much and he had to look away.

"I can't…I don't feel things the way you do." There, maybe that would be enough. Maybe he wouldn't have to go any further. But he wanted too. Oh how he wanted to say it, to tell Miharu the truth, to just let it all come pouring out and have it done with. Keeping it in like this…it was poison, eating him up from the inside out, as if he didn't have enough to worry about in that respect already. He thought back to earlier, to the daydream he'd had. Maybe, just maybe, "I'm not…"

"It's okay, I know."

"What?"

"It's because of the kira, because you're losing your senses. Are you losing the feeling in your middle too, like in you're hands and feet?"

"No. No, that's…not what I meant."

"Oh. Then, what did you mean?"

'Now or never; isn't that the phrase?' He searched Miharu's face for what seemed like forever, desperately looking for anything, any hint that he shouldn't do this, shouldn't expose this very young and innocent boy to the ugliness of the world, to the truth. He found nothing of the sort, nothing but curiosity, understanding, and…love. Yes, there it was again, and there was no mistaking it this time, no way to pretend that it was a dream or wishful thinking. It was really there. He took a deep breath, as deep as he could in his condition, and began again.

"I'm not built like you. I don't have the same…parts."

His eyes narrowed slightly at that and he tilted his head to one side a bit, but that was all, just those small movements, the expressions that Yoite recognized as Miharu in heavy thinking mode. But, he was careful to note, there was no sign of fear or disgust; so far, so good.

"I, uh…I'm not…a boy."

The eyes narrowed even more, and this time the corners of the mouth turned down a bit too. Yoite held his breath, wondering. He'd seen other people do that. Sometimes it happened when they were deep in thought, trying to work out a very complex problem. He did it himself when he worked math equations in his head. The fact that Miharu was doing it now wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but he knew from experience that it wasn't always a good thing, either. So, he held his breath, and waited, and watched.

He watched as the emotions flew, one after another across that too young face. Watched as the deep lines of thought turned to confusion…and then to hurt. 'Shit.'

"I don't understand why you thought you couldn't tell me. I mean; okay, so you yelled at the guy at the bus station for calling you a girl. It's none of his business if you want to dress like a guy. But why would you hide that from me?"

There was no going back now. Miharu was on the verge of tears and it was enough to break what was left of his heart. There was no way he could just blow this off, say it was nothing and pretend like he'd never started it. 'He'll run. He'll be disgusted or hate me, or both; and he'll run as far away from me as he can get.' Without thinking he lifted a hand to touch that smooth face. 'Please, one more time'.

"I'm not a girl."

There was a fairly long pause and then, "Oh."

This was not the reaction he'd expected. He was looking for acceptance, although he knew that was probably far too much to even hope for. Shock, horror, even screaming would have been understandable, but not this. Or…was Miharu so in shock that he'd fallen back on indifference? Was he hiding from the ugliness of what his best friend had turned out to be by ignoring it all together? "Did you…hear what I said?"

"Yeah."

"And…"

"And what?"

"It doesn't bother you, that I'm…?"

"What? You didn't say. I mean, you said you're not a boy or a girl, but you didn't say what you are."

"Uh…"

"It doesn't matter, if you don't want to say, but I am kind of curious about something."

"What?" Here it came. He'd ask his questions, and Yoite knew he would answer, and afterward, when it had finally sunk in, there would be the change. The change, not only in his face but in how he carried himself; in the way that he would pull away while trying to pretend that he wasn't; the way that he would try to act as though nothing had changed while his body language screamed otherwise.

"Well, you said that I didn't hurt you before because you don't have the…parts. I mean the guy parts, right?" Yes, here it came; and all he could manage to do was nod.

"And you said that you're not a girl so I'm guessing that means you don't have girl parts either, right?" Another nod, apparently he'd lost his voice now too, along with all his other senses.

"Uh-huh. So, I was just wondering…"

"Yes?" Was he shaking? He couldn't be sure, but he thought he might be shaking.

"Well, I mean…well…" Miharu took a deep breath and let it out slowly before leaning closer, in a very conspiratorial manner and looking him directly in the eye. At least there was that. Never let it be said that his little friend was a coward.

"I'm just wondering…how do you pee?"

He blinked, and blinked again, several times in fact. This was definitely not the reaction he'd expected, not at all.

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A/N: Okay, weird, I know. But I couldn't help myself. I know that when I was in school we didn't study anatomy until late in high school so I'm just assuming that Miharu doesn't know all the technical stuff about a girl's body, yet. And it just seemed like the sort of thing that might come up, considering. While I'm here I'd like to thank all the gang at manga dot com, and all the folks who have added this fic to their story alerts. It means lots.