Okay. Omegle is a site on the internet where you get hooked up to a random stranger, and they expect you to become BFFs. Well, maybe not, but you get the picture. A lot of the people on there are just guys looking for cyber sex but some are pretty cool. Me and my friend Natalya (the only friend I have who has read Animorphs) were messing with peoples minds pretending to be like, I don't know, Jake recruiting new people, or Ax high on sugar, or Tobias being emo. This here is a conversation I had with a guy who had never heard of Animorphs (I hope). I'm being Ax, by the way. Read on!
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Omegle conversation log - 2009-08-02
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hey
You: hay is for horses
You: I am not a horse
You: although I do resemble one in some of my features
Stranger: thats a shame
You: I disagree. Four legs are much more sensible than a human's two
You: how do you stay standing? I cannot understand
You: ...not even a tail to balance with...
Stranger: balance
Stranger: horses smell terrible
Stranger: how do u live with that?
You: Andalites do not smell. Even if my humans friends think so, they do not. except for Visser Three
You: but he's a Yeerk, so it is only to be expected
Stranger: shouldnt you be in a glue factory somewhere?
You: what is a glue factory?
Stranger: its what horses are made into
You: is it similar to a "grew" factory?
You: I am sure horses are not made for glue. Cassie would not stand for it.
Stranger: not sure, are horses slaughtered in great numbesrs in grew factories?
Stranger: and who are these people(?) u keep referring to?
You: I cannot tell you, or the Yeerks might find us.
You: they might be tracking this signal right now...
Stranger: shoot
Stranger: what can we do about it?
You: you can do nothing. are you a Controller?
You: perhaps you CAN do something. but not if you are a Controller
Stranger: im not a controller, dw
You: okay then. if someone approaches you, and tries to recruit you into a group called The Sharing...
You: DO NOT GO THERE
You: that is how they make Controllers
Stranger: do i have to pay to go up the ranks?
You: NO! do not join the Sharing! or you will be a slave to the Yeerks!
You: you will lose all of your own free will to the slimy slug wrapped around your brain
Stranger: ok ok, what do these recruiting people look like? and will they get upset if i refuse?
You: they look like normal humans. that is why they are dangerous. and if you refuse, they may leave you alone for now.
You: just hope that my friends and I can defeat the Yeerks before they take over completely
Stranger: what do you call your friends?
You: My friends call themselves... The Animorphs.
Stranger: awesome
Stranger: can u morph into animals?
You: yes. that is how they came up with the name
Stranger: clever, what animal do u morph into?
You: but they hadn't found me yet
You: there is no limit to how many animals we can morph
Stranger: ahh impressive
You: all you have to do is touch an animal, then picture yourself changing into it
You: but first, you must touch the Escalif Device - the Blue Box
You: that is how you get the morphing technology
Stranger: is it a good life
Stranger: ?
You: sometimes. we still must fight in many dreadful battles
You: but... flying in bird of prey morph is truly wonderful
You: my bird of prey morph is the Northern Harrier
Stranger: it sounds good, but the downside is you have to touch animals
Stranger: and we all know animals are filthy inferior creatures
You: you only have to touch the animal once, then you can morph it any time you want
Stranger: that one touch is more than i can bear
You: and I do not believe Cassie would like to hear you call animals "filthy inferior creatures"
Stranger: who be cassie? the resident hippy?
You: what is a "hippie"? I believe I met one when we travelled to the past with the Time Matrix
Stranger: thats a shame, hippies are the scum of the world you see
You: I see. but I must disagre. Yeerks are surely worse
Stranger: hmm, its a judgement call
Stranger: hippies are a stain on the world
Stranger: are these yeerks?
You: Yeerks are a stain on the galaxy, a slowly but surely spreading stain
Stranger: these yeerks sound badass, how do i sign up?
You: no! if you "sign up", then you will lose your free will! the Yeerk will have access to every memory in your head!
Stranger: im ok with that, perhaps what u animorphs possess is merely embarassing memories u dont want these all powerful yeerks to learn of?
You: I do not think you understand. The Yeerk crawls in through your ear, and then it has full control over your body. you cannot move blink, talk. the Yeerk does it all for you. and It will kill, with your hands, without hesitation
Stranger: it sounds ok really, just kinda lazy, letting the yeerks do shit
You: If you have a Yeerk in your head, you cannot do anything except scream in a corner of your mind. the Yeerk thinks, says, does cruel things against the humans. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? it will enslave your entire race! would you rather be a traitor to you own race?
Stranger: im not a fan of my race to be honest, alot of them are bad people, and deserve justice from these noble yeerks
Stranger: you animals are misunderstaning the threat
You: *sigh* you sound like Cassie. how do you not understand this? the Yeerks care nothing for the discomfort of other races. Hundreds of races are now slaves to the Yeerk Empire! they only wish for power! they take away freedom and free will!
Stranger: whats the problem, do people possessed by yeerks feel and physical pain?
You: yes! the Yeerk can use your body to fight, and then, when you are about to die, they slther from your ear and save themselves!
Stranger: but the very presence of them being inside me doesnt hurt me?
You: when they infest you, take over you, crawl inside your ear, it causes extreme pain - unles they excrete a numbing agent they are capable of making. and it's a very rare Yeerk that chooses to lessen the pain their host feels
Stranger: damn, i guess ill be the neutral party in this war
You: you are either with us, or you are against us
Stranger: ill take against, animals annoy me
You: then you are no better than the cruelest Voluntary Controller
Stranger: no im a fine person, i just consider animals lesser beings
Stranger: its no biggy
You: exactly - Yeerks consider all other races to be below them. therefore, you are no better than a Yeerk
Stranger: alright, can i become a yeerk myself, and crawl into people?
You: how does that feel? that you would rather stand by and see your race suffer then to fight?
You: and no - unless you acquire a Yeerk and somehow infest a human
Stranger: damn
You: but let me tell you, you will never get the morphing technology from us! we already had a bad experience with someone who was given the morphing tchnology...
You: he turned traitor, and we had to trap his as a rat and leave him on an island, far out to sea.
Stranger: i dont understand, how do u expect me to help if u dont offer any of ur grand technology?
Stranger: i hope he got out
You: he didn't. once you stay in a morph for 2 hours, you can never get out of it
You: Tobias is the lucky exception to that rule
Stranger: oh thats quite a limitation
You: yes. quite. but Tobias is quite fortunate. he was trapped as a red tailed hawk.
You: but an enourmously powerful being called The Ellimist gave him the morphing power back
You: so now he can morph his human form - for up to 2 hours. Then he has to demorph to red tailed hawk
You: Tobias is my shorm - my best friend, as humans would say
Stranger: cute
You: I trust him with my life, and I have no secrets from him. He does the same with me
Stranger: do animorphs have sex?
You: what is sex?
Stranger: do males and females have different bodily parts?
You: I assume so. Rachel has long hair, while Prince Jake has short hair.
You: I am very sorry, but Prince Jake has called a meeting. I must go.
You: goodbye. remember to keep fighting.
Stranger: ok, goodbye
Stranger: i enjoyed it
Stranger: the talk
You: until we meet again... good luck. From the Animorphs and myself, Aximili Esgarrouth Isthill
Stranger: we wont meet again :(
You: PS. try typing "Animrophs" and "Aximili Esgarrouth Isthill" in on Google. goodnight!
You have disconnected.