Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Who-verse. that honour belongs to RTD and the mighty and glorious BBC. The only thing I get out of this is a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I am trying to put right what once was wrong.

Authors Note: This is the first fanfic I've dared to post. The story has been playing on my mind since DW season 4's JE but only coalesced after CoE (How I sobbed on Day 4). Could be strictly be classed as a DW/TW crossover due to presence of Donna and the Doctor, but in my head it was always a Jack (and Ianto) story, hence the TW posting. There will be angst, there will be pain. There will be a happy ending. Honest! Hope you enjoy the journey. Please review if you get the chance. Be gentle ;0)

And so we begin....

Chapter 1

The Doctor had found him in an dank alleyway on one of the smaller moons of Ventrasse 3. Or to be strictly accurate he had come to in an alleyway after a particularly painful and messy end to one of his frequent firefights to find the sad, kind face of the Doctor looking down at him, lying in a pool of his own blood still warm on the damp concrete.

"Jack," the Doctor sighed, taking his hand and squeezing it in a gesture of understanding, and Jack knew at once that he knew everything. Even so, looking at the familiar beloved face he decided he needed to tell him himself just because the Doctor was the one person in the Universe who he hoped would truly understand.

"You've heard about the 456," he commented flatly after several long moments, pulling himself up so he could lean against the cold concrete wall. "About Ianto and Steven."

The Doctor nodded, his soft brown eyes intense on Jack's face which Jack could feel was wet with tears he didn't remember shedding. His expression filled with pity.

"I'm sorry Jack – so sorry."

And with that he had grasped Jack's arm, pulled him to his feet and led him through the blue wooden doors not ten feet away. Back into the comforting glow of the TARDIS.

Inside, in one of the myriad of anterooms the TARDIS seemed to be able to conjure at will, he sat opposite the Doctor on a long brown leather sofa taking comfort in the subdued lighting which hid his face from the Doctors' questioning eyes. In an effort to deflect the inevitable questions he chose instead to go on the attack. He asked the fatal question, one which would change his existence for ever.

"Where's Donna? Is she off doing Time Lord stuff on her own somewhere – the Doctor-Donna? And the lovely Rose...?"

The Doctor's face darkened and Jack suddenly realised that he looked old. His Doctor looked old, as if he had aged fifty years since he had left him back on Earth. Something had gone wrong, terribly horribly wrong. When the Doctor spoke it was in a voice Jack hardly recognised.

"They're gone Jack....No! Not dead," the Doctor quickly continued, as Jack started out of his seat in distress. "Just away. That's one of the reasons I came...well we'll get to that later."

There was another long silence, as if the Doctor was preparing himself to say something unpleasant or maybe composing himself embarrassed he had displayed emotion. It turned out to be the former.

"What the hell are you playing at Jack?" the Doctor finally said harshly. "I've spent the best part of two months tracking you and from what I can tell you've died a hundred times over in that time. That's pushing it – even for you!"

Jack recoiled as if the Doctor had physically struck him, but looked him squarely in the eye as he replied angrily,

"I was trying to make one stick. What do you think!" He took a deep, shuddering breath trying to calm himself. It wasn't the Doctor's fault. He had brought this on himself. "I lost them Doctor – no I killed them. And I can't live with that."

Of course it wasn't nearly as simple as that. Through all those lifetimes, all those love affairs, the grand passions and the not so grand passions and he had finally found the One. For a while – a very long while – he had thought the man sat opposite was the One, even though he knew his heart belonged to someone else – the glorious Rose. But no, it had turned out to be an unassuming Welshman by the name of Ianto Jones, who miraculously loved him back - the freak of nature he'd become. When he had returned from the great battle against the Daleks he had tried to tell Ianto how he felt, but had been too scared to tell him the whole of it. Still, for a short time, oh such a tiny time, they'd been happy. No, it was more than that, he'd been content just living in the moment for the first time in his life. And then it had all fallen apart. A nasty little secret from his past had come back to haunt him and Ianto had died in his arms.

And Steven – oh God! That was the constant knife blade to his heart. He had coldly and deliberately killed his own grandson for the greater good of the Earth. Sacrificed his own flesh and blood to the 456 just as he had the orphaned children had forty-five years earlier. Ianto had been a grown man, had known what following Jack might mean, but Steven had been a child who trusted his 'Uncle Jack'. He could never forgive himself for that. Ianto had once called him a monster, long ago, and he'd been right. He was a monster. The Doctor must despise him – as he despised himself.

"I don't despise you," the Doctor murmured, and with a start Jack realised he had been voicing his thoughts out loud – or maybe the Doctor had just been reading his mind. Either way he was glad the Doctor knew.

"You had a terrible choice to make Jack," the Doctor continued in a low voice. "I'm not sure I would have been able to make it. I'm sorry I couldn't get there in time – to save Steven – to save Ianto – to save you."

Jack didn't reply. He didn't know why the Doctor hadn't come. Maybe he just hadn't known. Whatever the reason he didn't want to know. If the reason wasn't good enough he might have started to blame the Doctor, and that wasn't fair. It was all his fault.

If the Doctor read Jack's thoughts in that moment he chose to keep it to himself.

"How did you find me?" Jack asked finally, moving onto safer, less painful ground.

"I saw Gwen. I came looking for you at Torchwood, found a hole in the ground. I looked up Gwen. She said you'd left. I've been tracking the signature from that thing," he gestured to the vortex manipulator on Jack's wrist. "ever since. I thought I fixed that so you couldn't use it to teleport." He gave an admonishing look at Jack who shrugged somewhat guiltily.

The Doctor grew serious again, "Gwen misses you Jack. Especially with the baby due any time now."

Jacks face grew grave, "How can I face her again – after what I did?"

"You should give her more credit. She knows you, knows what you've lost. She understands what you had to do. And she lost people she loves too Jack! Ianto...and you."

"You want me to go back to Earth?" Jack shook his head, "Why? To atone for my crimes?" He couldn't help the note of bitterness which crept into his voice. "Well thanks but no thanks. I can atone much better out here as a gun for hire!"

The Doctor grabbed Jack's arm and forced Jack to look at him. "I want you to go back to Earth because the Earth needs you. As Harriet Jones once said to me I'm not there all the time, I can't be. The 456 proved her point."

"And I handled that so well..." Jack interjected sarcastically.

"And you handled it," the Doctor corrected him impatiently. "You saved the children of Earth from the 456 in spite of the personal cost to you. The Earth needs someone like you until they find their way in the stars. I can't believe I'm about to say this but Earth needs Torchwood. And Torchwood needs you to lead it. And Jack, however you feel right now, you need Torchwood."

Jack shook his head helplessly, "I can't Doctor...I just can't."

"Jack, I need you to go to Earth. That's why I came to find you. I need you to help someone."

"You?" Jack questioned curiously.

"Yes...No...well at least not directly. Donna needs you."

The Doctor had explained of course, at ninety words a minute, about Rose and the other him happy together in the alternate reality. His voice had cracked as he had told him and he had refused to meet Jack's eyes when he had assured him it was all for the best and he was happy for them.

But he had seemed truly distraught as he had explained Donna Noble's fate. How the incredible young woman who had saved all reality was gone.

"The world needs people like Donna Noble," he had finished. "My Donna Noble. And I owe it to her to let her be my Donna Noble again."

"But I thought you said if she remembered you and the TARDIS and everything she would burn up," Jack protested.

"She would," the Doctor agreed. "She must never remember her time with me. But Donna became my Donna because she got to lead an extraordinary life. She has so much potential, the mind wipe couldn't take that away. All she needs is to find a purpose – a reason to live an extraordinary life again. She needs someone extraordinary – she needs you Jack."

Jack gave a snort of incredulous laughter. "Yeah, she really needs a broken, immortal murderer to show her how to live. Come on Doctor, this is a bad joke!"

The Doctor looked severely at him until he shuffled uncomfortably in his seat. For such a mild, unassuming looking person the Doctor really could play hard ball, he thought wryly.

"She needs a purpose, you need a purpose. I'm asking you to find one together."

"You're asking a lot Doctor," Jack muttered. "How am I supposed to give her purpose?"

"I don't know. I'll leave it up to you. Surprise me. Trust me Jack, you need to do this," the Doctor replied honestly.

And as though all their adventures together, just because the Doctor was the Doctor, of course he agreed.

They took the long way back to Earth; stopped a 31st century Earth colony from being destroyed by yet another branch of the Slitheen family and had a run in with a giant spider. The Doctor had lost track of the number of those he'd encountered in his ten regenerations. In between they talked. Guarded at first, not wanting to let too much of themselves be seen. In all their adventures together this was really the first time they had ever been alone. Eventually though Jack told the Doctor everything; about his childhood on the Boeshane Peninsular, about Gray, Captain John Hart, Gwen and Ianto – especially Ianto. He even talked about his daughter, Alice, and Steven, unable to stop the tears from falling. And the Doctor listened.

In turn, the Doctor spoke to Jack of the Time War, of Gallifrey, of his companions throughout the year. How Rose and Donna had been different – a lover and a best friend in turn. How Martha had saved him after he had lost Rose that first time. How he had regretted that she had always felt second best even though it was not true. How proud he'd been of her during that terrible year that never was. But nearly all their conversations came back to Rose and Donna. His regret that he had never been able to tell Rose how he truly felt. How a piece of him had died back on that deserted beach as he watched his other self say the words he'd always wanted to say. How much he missed them both.

But Jack knew the Doctor would always keep a part of himself hidden – the Doctor's family on Gallifrey, the daughter he had found and then lost in the blink of an eye, River Song – those people Jack knew were pivotal in the Doctor's past and future. Of those people he spoke not a word. Jack didn't mind. The fact he had told Jack so much meant that he trusted Jack. He didn't know why he had the Doctor's trust but it was a position Jack valued more than he could say.

After a month of travelling the Doctor took him back to Earth, pressed a mobile phone containing a very special number in his hand, and left him standing in a very damp Chiswick High Street in the early hours of a Wednesday morning.

"Good luck Jack" he said with one of his trademark grins, jamming his hands deep in the pocket of his long coat with a flourish. "Knowing Donna Noble as I do, you'll need it!"

As soon as the deep grating noise of the TARDIS engines had faded Jack stuck the mobile deep in the pocket of the greatcoat and turned to find a taxi rank. Donna could wait one more day. First he had someone to see, and somewhere to go.

Shall I continue? I have thirteen episodes in the bag ready to go...