Chapter 14

Not long after Katniss has fallen asleep, I hear something moving and turn to see Rue digging quietly in Katniss's backpack. Once she finds what she's looking for, Rue climbs up to join me on my level. I notice the tube of burn cream in her hand that she must have pulled out of the pack and I look at her curiously.

"I heard you and Thresh when he was cleaning your burn. I won't say anything to Katniss but you should really use some of this. It will probably help keep infection away and make you feel better," she explains. I stare at her for a moment before she continues. "If you turn around, I'll put it on for you."

"Thanks," I say quietly and turn. I had planned to ask Thresh to apply some of the cream when I woke him for his turn on guard and I can't get past the shock that Rue has shown such a nurturing side.

I hand her the glasses so she can see what she is doing and remove my jacket. Her breathing hitches slightly when I turn my back toward her but she doesn't react otherwise. As she applies the cream, I feel an odd sense of déjà vu. I'm confused by the thought because I barely know Rue but after a few minutes I realize it's not Rue I'm remembering in this moment at all.

It was several years ago and Katniss and I had been hunting most of the day. It was evening and we were headed back to the fence from a deep section of the woods when we heard the pack of wild dogs. With our haul, it would have been impossible to outrun them so we took to the trees. Katniss has always reminded me of a squirrel in the way she climbs so quickly and skillfully but I have to be more careful. I picked the wrong branch and it cracked under my weight. I fell several feet and hit a few other branches before catching myself. Unfortunately, one of the broken branches sliced down the back of my right arm from the shoulder to the elbow. I immediately wrapped my arm to keep the blood from the dogs and after a short time, they lost interest in us and moved on. Once we were out of the tree, we headed quickly under the fence. I tried to tell Katniss I was fine and head home but she demanded I stop at her house so her mother could look at the wound. This wasn't the first time one of us had been injured in the woods but it was the first time Prim helped their mother patch me up.

I turn and smile at Rue as she finishes but my smile is sad. I can't help but think of where she would be right now if Katniss hadn't been there to volunteer for Prim. I can almost see her and Prim together in the arena and I shake my head to dispel the disturbing image. Katniss was there to save Prim but there was no one there to save Rue… there's no one here to save Rue, either. This alliance is going to have to end sometime and what happens then? Do I really have it in me to kill this tiny, innocent child?

"You should probably try to leave your jacket off as much as possible. The fresh air might help," she suggests, completely oblivious to my inner monologue.

No, I don't have it in me and I knew that before the question formed in my mind.

"You're probably right. Thanks. You should get some sleep," I say and fight to swallow around the lump in my throat. She smiles at me and hands me back the glasses before saying a quiet goodnight and climbing back down to the sleeping bag with Katniss. I watch her slide back into the bag before I turn my attention back toward the trees.

I try to keep my mind on nothing but the empty night outside but it keeps drifting to Rue and Prim and even Posy. Posy is only four but that doesn't mean much anymore. She is only eight years away from her first Reaping. As much as I hate the thought of Rory being in the Reaping next year and Vick shortly after, it's the thought of little Posy standing there that terrifies me. I knew how Katniss felt about Prim before she volunteered for her because I have done everything possible to protect my siblings as well but now I won't be there to protect them. I try not to think about the future but the thoughts come anyway.

I know there is no way I would have been able to volunteer for Rory. The age difference between us is too great and I would've had no choice but to stand by helpless if Rory was Reaped next year. Of course, there is still that chance. Regardless of whether I was there or not, Rory will be in the Reaping. The only question now is will my family be so bad off that Rory has to go against my wishes and sign up for the tesserae? That would only add to his chances… and what about Vick? It won't be long before both of them are in the Reaping. The odds are not in the favor of my family. I had been extremely lucky to never be Reaped with forty-two entries. There's little chance that the other members of my family will be as lucky. I can only imagine how hard it was for my mother to watch me leave for the Games knowing why I volunteered and that I wasn't planning on returning. What will happen to her if she loses another child to the Games? Will she be able to handle it? My mother is one of the strongest women I know but to lose her husband and oldest son is more than most women can handle. To lose another child after would break even the strongest…

I take a deep breath and try to steer my thoughts away from that path. I know I've been on watch longer than normal but I also know that I won't be able to shut off my brain and sleep so I stay awake through most of the night. When I finally do wake Thresh to take watch, he seems confused by the position of the moon shining in the opening of the tree.

"I wasn't tired," I say in explanation and work my way down to the bottom level. I unroll my sleeping bag and arrange myself on my right side since I still have limited choices. I leave my jacket off and push myself closer to the trunk of the tree in hopes that the burn will heal faster without the constant cover.

The next thing my mind registers is muffled voices. As I fight through the fog of sleep, I open my eyes and see blinding light shining in the opening of our tree. I blink until my eyes adjust before sitting up slowly and beginning to stretch. I look around and notice that Rue is packing up but the voices I hear are coming from outside the tree. I glance higher and see that Katniss and Thresh are missing before I register that it was their voices outside the tree.

"I'm not sure," I hear Thresh say.

"It's the best way. We have to lure them away from the camp so we can get a closer look to pull off any kind of plan," Katniss responds. From the sound of things, she has a plan formulated already.

"But splitting up may not be the best way…" Thresh trails off and I hear shuffling before I realize that Rue is climbing out of the tree. They don't pick up the conversation as she joins them so I use the opportunity to roll my sleeping bag and replace my jacket before climbing out myself.

Once all four of us are awake, we walk to our normal fire area and eat a large breakfast. No one says much during the meal but I feel the tension running through all of us. The Game will change today, drastically, but the only question is how.

"We need to split up," Katniss says to break the silence and start the conversation of the coming events.

"Why?" Rue asks and I hear the edge of fear in her voice, though she keeps it from her face.

"Someone needs to get closer to the supply pile so we can figure out if we are right about the mines. The Careers are there all day so we need a diversion. We need something, or someone, to draw them away from their camp so we can decide how to proceed," Katniss voice is sure but she avoids my eyes as she speaks. "I think the best plan is for Thresh and I to head to the camp, while Rue and Gale set up the diversion."

"No," I say without hesitation. "Not a chance." I realize that this is what she was talking to Thresh about this morning outside of the tree but he didn't seem to like the idea, either. No one speaks for several minutes and Katniss continues to dodge my gaze.

"It's the only way," she says firmly.

"How about if Thresh goes with Rue and I come with you?" I ask, already knowing she has a reason behind this but refusing to give in without a fight.

"The best way to draw them out will be to set fires. If you set up several of them in a row, using green wood, you will get their attention. Rue and Thresh aren't fast enough at setting fires, Gale," she finally meets my eyes as she speaks my name. "It has to be you or me in order for us to get away in time. I can go with Rue but that leaves you and Thresh to destroy the supplies. If our theory about the mines is right, the bow will be the only way."

I stare at her, trying to work out another plan quickly in my head. There has to be another answer. I can't let her go again, not after everything that has happened.

"I'm still not sure this is such a good idea," Thresh says, interrupting my planning. "I think that we are a strong group but if we separate we leave ourselves vulnerable."

"I agree," I respond quickly, knowing by the look in Katniss's eyes that it won't be enough. She's thought out every avenue of this plan and will not be deterred.

"There is no other choice," she responds simply but in a voice that leaves my thoughts reeling. There has to be another choice. There is always another choice.

"What if we teach Rue and Thresh how to set a fire? What if-"I ask but she cuts me off.

"There's no time. If we don't act soon, the Gamemakers will and none of us want that," and with those words, she had us. We knew, just as well as she did, that another Gamemaker intervention would be tragic for our little group. I close my eyes, the pain in my body forgotten as the gravity of our situation sinks in.

"How many fires should we set?" Rue asks quietly and with that simple statement, we all realize that this is our plan now. There is no more argument as we spend the next hour laying the groundwork for the destruction of the supplies.

We talk about each piece of the plan, step-by-step, setting up everything from escape plans if things go bad, to codes and meeting places. We don't want to meet back at the tree for fear of drawing pursuers so our plan is to meet here, our fire pit.

We walk together in silence until it's time to part ways. Katniss embraces me lightly, pressing her forehead to my chest as I wrap one arm around her and pull her close. I try again to reason it out in my head. There has to be another way to do this. She looks up at me and shakes her head, as if she is reading my thoughts and I know that she practically is. I lean down and kiss the top of her head before her hands reach up and pull my face to hers. The kiss is tentative, unsure, but scared. I feel the fear from both of us in the kiss and it makes me pull away from her, determined now that it will not be our last.

"I'll see you," I say, needing her to know that this is not goodbye.

"Soon," she says simply, her eyes conveying the strength I am so used to seeing in her.

After Katniss and Thresh disappear through the trees, Rue and I set to work on the first fire. We gather wood and set it up at the fork where we had split from the others. We agreed to wait two hours before starting the first fire so we hike several miles to prepare the next two. Once they are set, we head back toward the first fire.

We haven't been walking long when the cannon fires, causing both of us to freeze in place, momentarily stunned. I look at Rue and her eyes are wide. We wait but after several minutes, there are no other cannons.

"It couldn't have been them," Rue says softly and I know she's trying to convince herself just as much as me. "If the Careers had caught them, they would have killed them both. If a fight had broken out, more would have died."

"I think we should head down there," I say and turn in that direction, preparing to run until I can see Katniss and know she is safe. I feel stupid for ever letting her go off without me.

"We have to go ahead with the plan. They are waiting for us and if we fail, they fail and they are too close to the camp to fail now," she responds and takes a shaky breath. I look at her tiny figure, the bravery she is showing in this moment and nod. She's right, of course. They are counting on us.

We make our way back to the first fire, setting it and moving swiftly toward the second. I struggle a bit with the second fire, unable to get the matches from my pack to cooperate for a few minutes but soon it ignites, sending up a pillar of dark smoke.

Rue and I move swiftly toward the third fire, which we have set up the farthest away when she trips, falling to the forest floor in front of me. I rush forward to help her up and see her legs are wrapped up in some sort of rope; a net of some sort maybe.

"It's a trap," I say, recognizing immediately that an amateur had set this to snare someone and because we were rushing, I didn't notice. I curse under my breath, berating myself for not paying closer attention.

I pull out my knife and begin slicing at the ropes, freeing Rue but not before we hear the voices. Several voices, raised in the way only the Careers would be bold enough to speak in the woods. Their feet running in our direction quickly. Rue is staring in that direction, panic clear on her face. I grab her and turn her to face me. I point to the top of a nearby tree and she shakes her head, pointing to her ankle, which I can see is already swelling and turning a deep purple.

I clench the knife in my fist, trying to come up with another plan of escape before scooping Rue into my arms and running toward the cover of some nearby bushes. I sit Rue lightly on the ground and crouch beside her just as several of the Careers come into view. I'm not feeling my wounds as much but I know because of my increased heart rate it's the adrenaline running through my veins.

"They came this way," I hear and move my head to look between the leaves of the bushes we are hiding behind. I see the boy from District 1 pushing the severed rope aside with his foot.

"Had to be recently," the voice is female but I can't tell who because I can't see. I briefly wonder if all five of them are here, knowing I won't be able to take them all on alone. I glance down at Rue, her wide eyes trained on the scene unfolding before her but showing no fear.

"They can't be far," I recognize Cato's voice as he steps into my line of sight. They all look around silently for a moment, listening for sounds of passage that we aren't making. Cato starts moving again and the rest follow his lead, searching the trees for any signs of us.

I look back toward Rue beside me and meet her eyes. My mind spins, trying to find an escape. I glance around quickly realizing the depth of our situation. We are trapped here. Any movement will draw attention to our location. I scowl and clutch my knife tighter, knowing there is no option left but to fight.

"Stay here," I mouth the words silently to Rue, pointing to the ground under our feet. Her eyes flash, showing her fear as she shakes her head. Suddenly, the sound of leaves crunching moves closer and I turn my head to look between the leaves of the bushes.

Cato has his sword drawn and is moving in our direction but still searching above himself, in the trees. I know once he gets close enough he will look in the bushes and we will be found. I turn back to Rue and point to the ground again, telling her with my look to stay put but she doesn't have time to respond before the sound of a large explosion in the distance rumbles through the air and I feel the light tremors through the ground.

"What was that?" one of the girls asks and Cato pauses mid step.

"The supplies," Cato growls and all their attention is turned back toward their camp.

"It couldn't be. One mine wouldn't make that much noise," the boy from District 1 argues.

"But all of them might," a soft male voice says and though I can't see him, I assume it's the boy from District 3.

"You'd better hope you're wrong, District 3," Cato says in a harsh voice. "Marvel, Glimmer, you two find whoever lit these fires. We're going back to catch the others at the camp."

With that Cato ran off, shoving the boy from District 3 in front of him and barking instructions to let him deal with District 12 when they find us. I realize he assumes Katniss and I are together so he will find both of us at once.

"You look that way," the girl, Glimmer apparently, snaps at Marvel. I lean and see him moving away from us, in the direction of our unlit fire. I hear footsteps moving closer, although I'm in the wrong position to see Glimmer clearly. I reason that there are only two of them now so I have a better chance against them than I did before.

I grip the handle of my knife so tightly that my knuckles feel as if they will break through my skin. I quietly slide the other knife into my boot to use for a backup if I need it. My heart is racing as the footsteps get closer to our hiding spot and Glimmer steps into view. I hear Marvel moving further away and realize that this is my chance. I look to Rue once more and point to the ground; she stares with wide eyes but doesn't respond. I turn back to watch Glimmer approach, the sword in her hand reflecting the small streams of sunlight breaking through the trees.

Just as she reaches the edge of the bushes, she turns to glance over her shoulder and I immediately take advantage of her mistake. I jump from the ground and grab her by her hair. She screams as I spin her quickly so her back is against my chest before I drag my knife roughly across her throat. Blood pours from the wound and she drops the sword, both hands clutching at the wound as she gasps for breath and falls to her knees.

"Glimmer!" Marvel shouts, breaking back into the small clearing as she falls face first into the dirt and the cannon sounds. I can feel my hand trembling; hear the blood dripping from my knife as Marvel stares between me and the dead girl lying at my feet. I lean down without taking my eyes from Marvel and pick up the sword sitting beside Glimmer's body. I tuck the knife into my belt as my fist flexes around the grip of the sword.

"District 12, where's your girlfriend?" Marvel asks in a pathetic attempt at a confident tone. I watch his eyes as he shifts his gaze, clearly nervous about Katniss' whereabouts. I don't answer. Instead, I smile a knowing grin, playing into his little game.

"If I told you, it would take the fun out of this," I answer, struggling to make my tone mocking. His eyes shift again and I take a step forward, knowing I have to draw the attention away from the bushes without being obvious. Rue is injured and only armed with a small knife which is nothing compared to Marvel's spear.

"Well, neither of you will last much longer anyway. Why draw out the inevitable?" Marvel tries again to portray confidence but his posture gives him away. I take another step forward and notice his eyes dart behind me to the bushes. Damn, he's smarter than I thought.

I hold the sword in a ready position and prepare my body to lunge. He's watching me closely but he's still nervous about Katniss so his eyes shift again to the trees. I jump toward him, swinging my sword toward his outstretched arm. He moved quickly, turning away before facing me again as I still and we watch each other closely, trying to anticipate the next move.

He thrusts the spear toward me and I jump back, the tip missing me by inches. I swing the sword at his arm, trying to disarm him but he blocks the movement with the spear and we step away once again, staring and breathing heavily. I wait, hoping he will throw the spear but knowing he has had training and knows better.

Suddenly, another cannon sounds and I turn my head without thinking to glance toward the bushes where Rue is hiding. As I do, I realize my error and overcompensate the movement, taking Marvel's spear in my right side instead of my chest where he had no doubt intended it. I freeze as I feel it drive deep into my body and fall to my knees, keeping my head enough to hold onto my sword. I swing at him again from the ground, the pain pulling against the protrusion in my side but he spins away before planting a heavy kick to the side of my head, knocking me to the ground and the sword landing several feet away.

He walks to me and grabs the spear roughly, placing his foot on my chest before yanking the weapon from my body. I feel the blood flowing freely from the open wound and gasp, trying to see through the blinding pain.

"This is going to be fun," he states, smirking at me before heading to the bushes where Rue is hiding. No doubt he believes Katniss is the one there but I reach for the knife in my belt and roll to my stomach, trying to pull myself to my knees. Once there, I grip the knife tightly and fling it in the direction of Marvel as he is turned away from me but I am disoriented from the wound so I miss and the knife embeds itself into the bark of a tree several feet away.

"Nice shot," Marvel laughs as he approaches the bushes. I fall forward, onto my hands, trying desperately to pull myself to my feet. When that fails, I reach for the knife in my boot, my final weapon.

"NO!" Rue screams and I hear Marvel cry out and look up to see the handle of a knife protruding from his forearm. Rue must have stabbed him when he went to push the bushes aside. His spear falls from his hand as he steps back, momentarily stunned.

I push myself to my feet as he pulls the knife from his arm, growling out a string of profanities. I wobble, trying to get to Rue and protect her, knowing her only weapon is now in his hand and she can't escape. Marvel reaches in, pulling Rue out by the arm as she struggles, looking pitifully small in his grasp. I stumble, falling back to my knees as the loss of blood makes me dizzy.

"NO! Help me!" She looks around, her eyes locking on mine as I force myself back to my feet. I hear the sounds of passage in the distance and recognize the birdcall from Katniss, letting us know she is on her way.

"This is who you were protecting?" Marvel scoffs, oblivious to Katniss's signal as Rue stumbles from her injured ankle. I keep moving forward, my right hand clutching my side as I try to make my legs move faster.

"HELP!" she cries out again and Marvel glances around him, hearing the sounds of running footsteps. He turns and drives the knife deep into Rue's chest and she falls to the ground.

"Rue," I hear Katniss' voice in the distance. Marvel looks back toward the voice and the sounds of more than one pair of feet running in this direction. He curses again, holding his hand to his wound before grabbing the spear and running in the opposite direction of Katniss.

I reach Rue then, falling hard to my knees beside her. She's gasping, coughing and choking on blood as the knife sits just below her collarbone. I roll her to her side as Katniss breaks into the clearing, arrow at the ready and Thresh right behind her.

"Rue," she cries out, spinning to look for an attacker before her eyes land on Glimmer's body on the ground not far from us.

"Are there others?" Thresh asks, his head turning as he searches for hidden attackers.

"He ran," I cough out, pointing in the direction Marvel took off in and gasping in the pain from my side.

"You guard," Katniss says quickly to Thresh and faster than I would think possible, she is on the ground beside Rue. "Rue? Rue, can you hear me?"

Rue's eyes spin wildly before settling on Katniss' face. Katniss pulls Rue's tiny body into her lap as I sit back on my heels, feeling the blood rushing over my fingers out of the gaping hole in my side.

"Ka… Katniss?" Rue asks, stuttering on the word as a horrible gurgle enters her throat.

"I'm here, Rue," Katniss says, her voice cracking on Rue's name. I look and see the tears building in her eyes as she takes in the severity of the wound. I close my eyes as my vision starts to turn black around the edges. I open them again and push myself back to my feet. I walk several feet away, wobbling slightly, and lean my shoulder against a nearby tree. My vision blurs again as my body tries to collapse and I struggle briefly to hold myself on my feet. I watch as Katniss leans in, speaking softly to Rue.

I close my eyes, trying to will myself to stay awake but feeling my body shake from the pain as the blood continues to pour through my fingers. My mind is foggy, unable to focus on the present when I hear a something that forces my eyes open. Katniss is singing. I have never heard a more beautiful sound and I begin to think that maybe I am already dead.

I move, forcing myself away from the tree as panic starts to set in. She can't see this; she doesn't need to see this. I move through the trees, trying to put distance between myself and Katniss. All I can do is hope she is occupied with Rue and won't make it to me before the hovercraft picks up my body.

I cough, surprised that there is no blood coming from my mouth. I pause, gasping and lean my left hand against a tree. I feel a hand on my shoulder and swing my fist around weakly, missing my target completely as Thresh's face comes into focus. I hear the sound of a cannon but my mind thinks it's too soon; I'm not dead yet, am I?

I feel myself leaning further against the tree, the bark scraping against my still raw burns. Suddenly, Katniss' face appears before me, tearstains running down her cheeks. She looks angry, she shoves me, pushing me hard against the tree, and I groan as I slide down to the ground before her voice starts to register.

"Where were you? What happened to her? You were supposed to protect her," my eyes close as I listen, thinking how right my subconscious is. I was supposed to protect Katniss and now I won't be here to take care of Cato for her. I open my mouth to speak, to tell her how sorry I am but nothing comes out. I feel hands on me and force my eyes open to see the ground very near my face. There is blood pooling near my face and I realize it's coming from my mouth.

I feel someone prying my fingers away from my side and more pressure against the wound. I try to cry out, the pain becoming too much but the sound is more of a groan in my own ears. I feel like I'm floating, unable to open my eyes. The voices around me all blurring together, no longer making sense. I hear sounds in my head and feel my mouth moving. Am I talking? I try again to force my eyes open without success before everything goes dark.

"Gale?" I groan, trying to roll onto my side but not able to move. "Gale?" A voice asks in the back of my head. "Are you waking up this time?"

There is a sharp pain in my side and flashes of the earlier attack come rushing back into my mind. I groan again, forcing my eyes to open and I see Katniss and Thresh beside me. It takes a minute for everything to come into focus but when it does, I can see that I am somehow, back in the bottom of the tree. I begin to wonder if all of that happened.

"Gale?" Katniss asks but her voice is not what I expected. She seems angry, bitter about something and when my eyes finally focus on hers, she lets out an exasperated sigh. "Are you awake this time?"

"Yes," I try to respond but nothing much comes out.

"How are you feeling?" Thresh asks me before turning to give Katniss a strange look.

"Like I got a spear to my side," I answer weakly and look around. "Where's Rue?" Katniss looks away, her anger obvious in the set of her jaw. Thresh just shakes his head, telling me everything through the look in his eyes.

I struggle to focus my mind, remember all the details of the attack but my mind still has blank spots. I remember hearing a cannon and thinking I was dead, was that Rue's cannon then?

"How in the world am I still alive?" I muse aloud and no one answers. I glance around and notice the light coming in the tree from an odd angle. "What time is it?"

"It's mid afternoon. You've been out for about twenty-four hours," Thresh answers and I feel my eyes widen.

"Twenty-four hours?" I ask, shock clear in my tone.

"Yes. The girl from District 1, the boys from 3 and 10, and Rue are all dead," Katniss answers in a flat voice. I hadn't asked which tributes had made it but it was nice to know. I take a moment to process that, to consider who is left.

"Final seven," I say quietly, realizing the pool of tributes took a large hit yesterday, mainly due to our attack.

"I'm going to hunt," Katniss says abruptly and turns to climb back out of the tree.

"Wait," I say but she is already on the top ledge.

"We need food," is her only response before she disappears from sight. Thresh and I sit in silence for a few minutes as I try to pull myself up to a sitting position. It's a struggle and I refuse help from Thresh when he offers. I take my time, noting how each different movement seems to pull at the wound. I notice, once I pull out of the sleeping bag, that my shirt is beside me on the ground and my chest is bare. I look down my torso at the now bandaged wound in my side, seeing that the ground surrounding me is dark from my blood.

"I didn't think you were going to make it," Thresh says into the quiet and I look up to see him watching me inspect myself. "I've never seen anything like it. I thought you were a goner when I followed you from the clearing and saw the blood. You still don't look so great."

"What happened? How did…?" I trail off, unsure of how to ask the question.

"I've never seen anything like Katniss. Once she realized how badly you were injured, she worked furiously. She was determined in a way I'd never seen before," Thresh answers honestly. "She didn't speak. She pulled the first aid stuff from her backpack and just went to work. She actually hasn't spoken much at all. I tried to talk to her last night but she didn't really respond. She's been very distant."

"I've seen her that determined before," I say with a slight smile and then frown, worrying about her being distant. I knew Rue's death would be hard on her when it happened but I didn't realize how much it would affect me. I look at my hands and see blood still staining my right hand and immediately my mind flashes to the moment with Glimmer. The fear in her eyes as I spun her, right before I slit her throat. I shutter and then wince as the pain shoots through me.

Thresh and I talk well into the evening, he tells me about the supplies. He says that Katniss managed to use three arrows to rip open a bag of apples, causing several of the mines to go off and those triggered more. He tells me how they managed to stay a good distance away but were both still knocked off their feet, their ears ringing after the string of explosions. He finishes by explaining how they high tailed it out of there, heading back toward the meeting place when they heard Rue's screams.

By late evening, I'm getting worried about Katniss. It's nearly dark and she's been gone for several hours. The only thing keeping me calm is the fact that I haven't heard a cannon. I start thinking about going to look for her; I pull my bloodstained shirt on slowly, seeing how large the hole is in the fabric. I push myself up to my knees before Thresh realizes what I am doing.

"You should rest," is all he says but I shake my head and continue to try to stand. Thresh stands and puts out his hands, helping me to my feet. I lean against the next platform of the tree, trying to regain my sense of balance. After several minutes, I start to pull myself to the next level before I hear her voice above me.

"What are you doing?" She asks in the same harsh voice as before.

"I was coming to look for you," I answer, still finding her tone confusing.

"I told you I was hunting. Then I decided you might want the food cooked so I went to the fire pit," she responds, sighing in exasperation.

"It's dangerous for you to be out there on your own," I say and immediately regret the words. She hops down to the bottom level, stepping into my face as soon as lands and her eyes shine with anger.

"It was so much safer for Rue with you, wasn't it?" She asks and I involuntarily take a step back at her words. Her anger toward me is unexpected and I almost stumble under the weight of it.

"I tried to draw them away," I say softly into the echo of the tree but there is no response. I lean against the wall as the dizziness sets in once again.

"Sit back down," Thresh says quietly, placing a hand on my shoulder from behind me. I shake his hand off and move slowly back to my sleeping bag. I slide slowly to the floor, being careful of the wound in my side.

We eat in silence before Thresh tells us that he is taking first watch. Katniss agrees and moves to the level above me and unrolls her sleeping bag as Thresh takes his spot for guard. I lie on my back, the burn throbbing painfully but unable to sleep in any other way due to the other mounting injuries. I sigh softly thinking about how I am supposed to be the strong one. I am supposed to protect her and yet I keep getting injured. I remember Thresh telling me this afternoon that she worked feverishly to save me yesterday. I try to figure out why she saved me if she was only going to turn her back on me.

I think about Rue. I try not to but I can't help it. Little, helpless Rue who stayed up to offer me the burn cream behind Katniss's back, understanding exactly why I didn't want her to know. Rue, who pulled her weight when it came to gathering food for our little group. Rue, who found water for Katniss in those first days when I wasn't with her and hunted down the Careers camp. Rue, who lost her life in this plan. Who was my responsibility.

No. I can't think like that. I knew from the beginning there was only one person here whose safety was my responsibility and it wasn't Rue. Rue's death is not on my hands. If anyone is responsible for Rue's death, it's President Snow and those vultures in the Capitol. How could anyone find pleasure in the death of such a pure, innocent soul like Rue?

I readjust, trying again to get comfortable in the sleeping bag before pulling my arms out and seeing in the small bit of moonlight, the darkened skin on my hands from the dried blood. I remember that all the blood on my hand is not my own. I remember the feeling of Glimmer's hair in my hand as my knife was at her throat. I didn't consider at the time how different it would feel: killing a human as opposed to an animal. I just acted on instinct. Kill or be killed. I shouldn't know how to do that. I shouldn't have to know how to do that. I shouldn't be sitting here, mourning the deaths of a girl I barely knew and a girl whose name I only learned on the day I killed her. I pause at that thought. I killed her. I murdered a girl whose name I had only learned moments before. I saw the terror in her eyes when she realized she had been caught.

I stared, unseeingly at the side of the tree, willing myself to sleep to take the thoughts away. I am responsible for the deaths of those two girls.

A/N: This was the hardest chapter I have ever written. Rue's death was much harder to write than I ever imagined it would be! I have to give a very heartfelt thanks to my prereader, Spoofty. She helped me through a very difficult chapter as I tried to find the words to express this difficult moment in the story.

I hope you all feel like I did Rue justice in her death. I'd love to hear what you think...