**This story takes place just after the season 2 finale.

Category: Hurt/Comfort, Romance, and Humor

Warnings: Rated R, for violence, mention of child abuse, alcohol use, and Slash. Ye be warned.

Authors Note: This was just a plot bunny that would not go away. For some of you that have frequented DeviantArt, I'm sure you've seen a fanart or two that have inspired this fic. I chose the title because it sounds like a combo of the words 'lust' and 'frustration', which is appropriate, but also the word means "to emotionally purge."

"Lustration"

Thank the dark gods for pre-paid credit cards.

With Mordhaus burned to the ground and Charles in the nearest intensive care unit, the five metal gods were in need of refuge until their manager recovered enough to take lead of the situation. Thankfully Charles had thought ahead and given 'his boys' a series of nameless, pre-paid credit cards to use in an emergency. Not to say that they didn't still have billions to their disposal in their own private bank accounts, but with assassins and portions of the government after them it would be good to have an untraceable source of money. Which is exactly what Murderface was using right now to pay for the crew's night stay in a Stockholm hotel.

Pickles had commented that Murderface would be the least recognizable out of the five of them so he should be the one to get the room keys. When the bass player returned to the rented Hummer with four keys Pickles let out an audible groan. "Why er dere only four keys?"

Murderface looked down at the keys and back up to the group before realizing that he neglected to count himself when he asked for four rooms. "Umm...You shee, I..."

"Fuck it." Nathan said from the drivers seat. "Someone should keep an eye on Toki anyway."

"Dats sounding dangerously close to concern der, Nathan." Pickles said, smirking, but an angry, green-eyed glare from the vocalist shut his mouth in a real hurry. He averted his gaze to the unconscious Norwegian in the back seat. "So who's stuck watchen em?" All eyes turned to Pickles. "Oooooh no. Not me. I had ta risk my life ta drag his arse off a frozen lake before he joined his dad." Which was true.

When Toki's father slid down the mountain into the lake, Toki had thrown himself on the brittle ice in an effort to claw his way to the sinking corpse. It was between Pickles and Skwisgaar who would be the person to go after him since Nathan or Murderface would fall through for sure. After a resentful rock-paper-scissors, Pickles cursed and ran out onto the frozen lake, dragging the kicking, screaming brunette back with him. It sent chills up the drummers spine recalling it. Never in his life had he heard a full grown man make such sounds of anguish.

"What abouts you Nat'ans?" Asked Skwisgaar, idly strumming his Gibson. "It am beings your ideas."

"No." He said flatly. Nathan was physically and psychologically exhausted. Toki had drunkenly knocked out the dominatrix bitch, probably saving the vocalist's life, but he also needed to be carried off the five hundred foot high Mordhaus, vomiting all over Nathans back as he climbed down. Not to mention it was Nathan who also carried the critically injured Charles to the nearest vehicle before driving him to the hospital.

The instant Nathan Explosion hit a bed, he was useless to watch over anyone.

"What abouch me?" Murderface interjected. The other band members pretended not to hear him. His intentions were good, but the bass player wasn't exactly competent enough to pay for five rooms, let along watch over someone who was still half in the bag and potentially suicidal.

All eyes turned to the last remaining band member.

When Skwisgaar realized that they were now referring to him, he opened his mouth to object, but unlike Pickles or Nathan he had no particular reason not to be on Toki duty. Other than the fact that he really didn't feel like it. "Yous guys am all dildos!"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Pickles tossed Skwisgaar a room key and stepped out of the Hummer. "Heave a lovely night der lovebirds." He joked with a smirk as he grabbed his bag of clothes and went off to his own room. Nathan and Murderface did the same leaving the aggravated blonde in the Hummer with Toki.

The sun was just coming up when Skwisgaar finished unloading his guitar, along with their bags of new clothes and toiletries. He was often awake at all hours, but even he was drained by the events that had unfolded. It took all his strength to haul the dead weight of Toki into the hotel room, his nose tightening at the lingering smell of vomit on the brunettes shirt.

Flopping him ungracefully down onto the queen sized bed, Skwisgaar not-so-gently pulled the vomit stained shirt over Tokis head, tossed it in the garbage, tied it shut, and placed it outside the hotel room door. Smelling his own shirt he didn't smell too horrible by comparison. A bit of sweat, alcohol, and smoke, but salvageable. Taking that off as well he tossed it on the bed before grabbing some soap and heading to the shower.

Leaving the bathroom door open a crack the lanky blonde tossed his smoke and blood ridden jeans to the side before climbing into the welcoming shower. The hotel room wasn't even close to the lavish suites the band was used to staying in, but considering the past twelve hours or so the simple luxury of hot water made him feel better than he would have imagined. He couldn't even remember the massive hot tub back at Mordhaus feeling this good.

A half hour later the Swede emerged from the steamy bathroom to find Toki curled into a ball on the far side of the mattress, belt, jeans, and boots still on. Even in the dim light Skwisgaar could see the brunettes shoulders trembling. And in the warm room he figured it was not from a chill.

The blonde froze, hoping that his band mate had not heard him. On the other hand he was exhausted and the vacant half of the bed was seeming more and more welcoming with each passing second. He would have to decide weather to disturb Toki and sleep on the bed, or hope he was still asleep and sleep on the floor, avoiding any unneeded emotional banter.

A small, wet, choke emanated from Tokis direction forcing Skwisgaars eyes to move back to his band mate. Shit.

"Yous better nots be vomits-king on de beds." The blonde said quietly, not entierly expecting an answer.

Toki choked again and whispered a hoarse. "No."

Skwisgaar sighed. He would almost rather Toki be puking on the sheets than crying. Then at least he would only have a physical mess to deal with, not an emotional one.

Sitting down in his boxers he awkwardly patted the younger mans back, feeling the deep, smooth, scar tissue under his fingers. He had seen the lash marks before, but touching them was something quite different. The neglect he had experienced in his youth was not nearly as bad as the physical torment and abuse Toki had received. He felt a pang of sympathy for the man, he really did. But there was something he could not quite comprehend. "Why you cries for him?" Skwisgaar asked before he realized he was thinking aloud.

Toki turned his head a little. "What?"

"Why yous be cryings for de father whats hurts you so? For da tings he be dones you should be cele-...cele-... beings happy he dead." Skwisgaar stumbled over his English.

Toki sat up a bit, his hair blocking his face. "But he was my Father, and..." He sniffled. "I is sick of not feeling any'ting, or being angry, or...scareds. I forgives him for every'ting he does to me, and it help me to just forget the tings he did. But... da lake...and the ice..." His head lowered and his shoulders began to tremble again. Skwisgaar sighed hard again, he didn't need this. He just wanted to go to sleep. "Every'ting I cares for around me dies." He whimpered.

A thought twisted into Skwisgaars head. "Ja." He started. "Ex'kept all da peoples who dies already almost deads."

Toki raised his head, one blue, blood-shot eye peered out from around his hair. "Whats you mean?"

"Dat little girl. She has de sicks, so did da old guitar man. Yous dad was no differents. Him falling in dat water probablys kill him quicker dan da cancer. He probablys suffer for longer had you not do dats. He cold for a minute den falls to sleeps, sufferinks over. You done him a favors." Skwisgaar paused a moment, thinking to himself bitterly 'even if he should have suffered.'

Toki processed the blondes words for a long moment as his eyes went vacant. Just when Skwisgaar thought he had calmed down fresh tears started to flow down the brunettes cheeks.

Skwisgaar was about to curse to himself when the full weight of Toki slammed into his chest in a tight, trembling hug. It was then that the Swede realized that his rhythm guitarist had his own dirty, black shirt balled in his fist. "T'ank you Skwisgaar."

For lack of anything else do to, Skwisgaar wrapped an arm over the smaller mans scarred shoulders as fresh tears of relief fell on his bare chest.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The sun was setting when Toki finally woke up. His sleep had been dreamless, but comforting, and despite the raging hangover he awoke feeling lighter and better than he had in quite a long time. The fact that he awoke with an arm wrapped around the lead guitarists torso and his face buried in his blonde hair probably had a part in that. He had never woken up next to anyone in the same bed as him before, let alone spooning them.

Based on Skwisgaars even breaths Toki figured that the Swede was still asleep and slowly peeled himself away from him. It wasn't until he scooted to the edge of the bed did he realize that he was still wearing filthy jeans along with his boots, and his shirt was completely gone. Now that he thought about it, where the hell was he?

He vaguely remembered the heat of a fire and -he licked his lips- vomiting quite a lot. Resting his head in his hands he tried to recall the events of the last 36 or so hours. He remembered Pickles commenting that he was drinking straight vodka at noon, then something about the guys trying to suck their own- nah, that was a bit odd, even after everything that had happened. His eyes burned a little, telling him that he had cried quite a bit. He hopped Skwisgaar wasn't around to see it, or he would be teased without mercy for it.

Resigning himself that he would just ask what happened when everyone woke up, he kicked off his boots and made his way to the shower. Noticing a bag of new clothes on the end table as he went.

After his much needed shower he took a look at the clothes the others had bought for him, half expecting them to have picked out something absurd and (to them) hilarious. But Toki was pleasantly surprised to find a pair of jeans not too far off from the ones he usually wore and another navy blue t-shirt, the back of which had a pair of silver wings painted on the it. Also in the bag was a few sets of socks, boxers, a black hoodie, and -Toki laughed to himself- a belt with a metal bumble bee as the buckle. Rolling his eyes he put it on anyway.

As he buckled it he realized that he had just inwardly laughed and accepted a joke the guys had indirectly made towards him. He cocked his head to the side and looked at himself in the mirror. The clothes were new, but something else was different, and he couldn't put a finger on it. Yes his eyes were a little puffy, yes he was hung over, and...Mordhaus had burned to the ground. He remembered that much now.

He should feel like shit. He should be frightened, or scared, or sad, or guilty, or SOMETHING negative. But he didn't. Toki felt on top of the world in this little half-assed hotel. What had changed?

Exiting the bathroom, he got his answer.

Skwisgaar was up and moving around, already into his new jeans and fishing another plain, black, wife-beater out of the bag, tearing off the tag and tossing it aside before pulling the fabric over his head. Turning his head, the blonde saw Toki standing in the doorway. Skwisgaar froze for a second as awkward silence pressed hard against his ear drums. Would Toki blab to the rest of the band that he had uncharacteristicly comforted him until he fell asleep? That he didn't shove him away as he slept the day away, for fear that if Toki felt any more rejection that he would drown himself in the bathroom sink?

That's the reason Skwisgaar was telling himself anyway...Was Toki really wearing that absurd belt buckle?

Toki frowned slightly. Why was Skwisgaar looking at him like that? "Is dere some'ting on my face?"

The blonde shook his head. "No, Toki. Is yous am feelings okay?"

Toki rubbed his temples more than he really needed to. "I's hungover."

Skwisgaar smirked. "Ja. Yous quite the tank last night. Puke all over Nat'an after knockings out domix-a-trex whats try to kill hem." Toki frowned, he didn't remember either of those things. And he was rather happy that he didn't. "Don't worry, Little Toki, de rest of de bands do some other... try some o'der tings dat am very much more crazies dan dat."

"Like what?"

"Yous am findings out later." Skwisgaar said, smirk widening as he clipped his dethphone to his belt. "I's heading to club down de streets for drinks. Let us be getting some hair of wolf into you."

"You means 'hair of de dogs'?" Toki said pulling his boots on.

"Whatevers." He said walking opening the door. "De o'ders took de truck to check on de Manager, so we ams walking." He said huffing in slight annoyance.

Toki shrugged. "Dats's fine wit me."

As they walked out the door Skwisgaar looked at the younger man quizzically. Something was different about him. He had a slight spring in his step, he held his head higher, shoulders back, chest out. The only slight sign of weakness in the man was the slightly bloodshot eyes and the twinge of a headache. A warmth build up in the pit of his chest that he hadn't felt in... he couldn't remember when.

The walk to the club didn't take too long and the instant they walked into the door Toki realized why Skwisgaar liked it. It was a small, dark, had a well stocked bar and was riddled with scantily clad cocktail waitress. It was a pole and a stage away from being a strip club.

The Norwegian suddenly felt very out of his element.

Skwisgaar nodded to a few of the waitresses as he made a B-line for the bar, greeting the elderly man behind it in his native tongue. "Long time no see, Nills."

The man looked up from dusting the bar and his eyes lit up. "Skwisgaar, is that you?" He asked in hushed tones. When the blonde nodded the old man scooted from behind the bar and gave his tall, lanky frame a bear hug. It was not the reaction of a fan, but an old friend. "I heard what happened at Mordhaus. I thought you might be dead."

"Not a chance. I've gotten out of worse messes." Skwisgaar said confidently.

Nills turned to Toki and shook his hand. "You Mr. Wartooth?" He stammered in English. Toki nodded. "Very nice meetings you. Good to seeings you safe." He turned back to Skwisgaar. "You two are drinking on the house tonight. What are you having?"

"Two Screaming Nazi's to start. Thank you. It really is good seeing you again."

"You too." Said the old man before moving down the bar.

"Who dat?" Toki asked when he was out of ear shot.

"Dat." Skwisgaar pointed down the bar. "Am one of many poten-ti-skial fathers. Probably not, but I seeings him more dan any others. Mommy Dearests did works here whens I little."

Toki's eyebrow rose at the slight peek into his band mates past. Skwisgaar never talked about his mother before, and yet here he was, voluntarily in a place she used to work. He averted his eyes to the carvings in the old wood bar as the shots were placed in front of them, unsure if he should say anything.

As he watched the brunette stare at the swirling gold flecks in his shot he read the expression plastered under the surface of his skin. 'I know that look, Toki.' He thought to himself. 'You gave me a look at your past, so I did the same. Its only fair.' He snickered to himself as he watched his band mate cough a bit as he swallowed the shot. He lifted the glass to his own lips but froze stiff as Toki stuck out his tongue and licked the inside of the shot glass clean.

The warm fuzzy feeling that the blonde felt earlier began to burn and move lower down his stomach, and he didn't like that one bit. Downing his drink he waved over the bartender for another one.

"Dat taste like candy." Toki said and smiled, turning to a suddenly angry looking Skwisgaar. "Whats wrong?"

"No'tings." Skwisgaar spat, downing another shot.

Toki frowned slightly at the change in his band mate. He was about to ask what was wrong when a ridiculously upbeat, yet familiar song began to play on the overhead. Several of the cocktail waitresses lined up in the middle of the room and began to dance to it, laughing with each other as they did.

The dance looked simple enough, just bobbing their hips back and forth and waving their hands over their head like bunny ears. Toki couldn't help but smile at the humor of it. The song was in Swedish, but he understood some of it.

One of the waitresses came over to the bar and took Toki's hand in hers, pulling him lightly onto the floor. As the rhythm guitarist passed by the disgruntled Skwisgaar he grabbed his forearm as well, nearly toppling him out of his bar stool. "Toki, whats de fucks!?" He bumbled angrily as he was dragged onto the dance floor.

Standing along side his band mate and the other girls he watched Toki attempt to mimic the dance from the girls. He looked absolutely absurd, but the massive, innocent grin spread across his face softened his anger.

Doodo doo-oo
Yeah-eah-eah-eah

"Come on Skwisgaar! Cheer up!" Toki said as he bobbed up and down with the girls.

Looking around the room he noted that other than the girls and the bartender, there was not a soul paying attention to them, so he shrugged and thought, 'fuck it.'

Placing his hands atop his head he tried to mimic the dance and before long the two death metal gods were dancing techno with a group of strippers.

Vi undrarar ni redo alt vara med
Armarna upp nu ska ni fa se
Kom igjen
Hvem som helst kan vara med
So ror pa era fotter
O-a-a-a!
Och vicka era hofter
O-la-la-la!
Gjör som vi
Till denna melodi

Oh-ahh-ahh-ahh!
Dansa med oss
Klappa era händer
Gjör som vi gjör
Ta nagrå steg at vanster
Lyssna och lar
Missa inte chansen
Nu ar vi har med
Caramelldansen!

A cramp in his side and a flushed face later Skwisgaar was laughing his ass off along with Toki and the girls. He hadn't laughed like that in a very, very, long time.

Hearts lightened they had a few more drinks (including two absinth each), they bid Nills a good night, and began to saunter back to the hotel. Thunder rolling in the distance.

"I have to be admitings, dat was fun." Skwisgaar laughed with a genuine smile. "But if yous am tellings de o'ders about dats I kill you." He said, serious-but-not.

"Tell dem about whats?" Toki said, knowingly. "Everybody's gots secret."

It began to drizzle as Skwisgaar turned to his band mate. "And whats secrets yous be havings?"

Toki nervously smiled. 'Nothing you wouldn't make fun of me for, I'm sure.' He thought before saying. "If I tell you, den day not be secret." He said, avoiding the question as the sky opened up and began to douse the pair in a chilly deluge.

Both of them cursed in their respective languages as they sprinted the remaining quarter mile back to the hotel.

"Zeus ams cranky tonights." Skwisgaar said as they entered the hotel room, soaking wet.

"Ja." Toki agreed.

Kicking off his boots, Skwisgaar made his way to the bathroom where he peeled off his shirt and jeans before ringing them out in the sink and hanging them over the shower bar. Grabbing the last dry towel he heard Toki say from the main room. "Don'ts be hoggings the bat'room. Least hands me a towel, Skwisgaar."

Looking down at the white terrycloth in his hand, the blonde smirked. "Sorrys Toki. I am havings de last ones." He said, walking back into the sleeping area, noticing Toki had done a similar strategy with is clothes. Hanging his shirt and jeans over the desk chair instead. He looked mildly angry, soaked down to his navy blue trunks.

"Dats not fair Skwisgaar!" He said, reaching for the towel as the lanky Swede held it high over his head like a bully in grade school.

"Comes on, Little Toki." The blonde mocked. "If you be wantings some'ting so bad. Takes it!"

A grappling match that could only be described as a cheetah vs a lion ensued. Skwisgaars lithe frame holding the last dry towel just away from Toki's muscular grip. No matter how he managed to restrain the blonde he managed to slink out of his grip. After failing repeatedly to jump and reach it, Toki bent down and lifted the Swede off the floor, tossing him on the bed for easier access.

Climbing on top of his rival, Toki pinned Skwisgaars chest to the bed with his right hand while he reached up towards the towel with his left. It wasn't until his fingers grazed the fabric did he realize that Skwisgaar had stopped fighting. Puzzled, he looked down and realized that they were practically naked, nose to nose, on top of one another. The blonde seemed to realize this too as they stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity.

A flush heated Toki's face as Skwisgaars words rang in his head.

'Comes on, Little Toki. If you be wantings some'ting so bad. Takes it!'

Before he could mentally talk himself out of it, Toki leaned down and captured the blondes lips in his. He waited to be thrown to the floor and pummeled. To be called a fag and made fun of relentlessly. Be that the case he could just blame it on the alcohol, even though he wasn't even that drunk.

Something had indeed changed in him lately. He had always admired Skwisgaar, both in his skill in music and physically. But there was always something else going on in his life to think about it too much. Now, however, the record was done and he was free of the guilts of the past. His mind and conscious was clear (aside from a little alcohol).

When no assault came, Toki pulled away slowly.

His lips were barely a breath away from the blondes when Skwisgaar grabbed a fist full of his hair and mashed them back together. Roughly biting his lower lip as he did so.

Towel completely forgotten the two guitarists hands began to roam each others bodies, their grappling match resumed for a different purpose.

As Skwisgaars fingers roughly traced the scars on Toki's back he realized why he wasn't fighting it. He was sick of screwing everything that walked (or had a walker). Especially as of late the satisfaction he usually got from the act was loosing effect. Like a drug he had far over used. He was becoming numb to it. But when the rhythm guitarists lips touched his it gave him an instant, and shockingly powerful high that he had never experienced before.

He realized that what he was doing wasn't brutal or metal, but he didn't care. His brain swam with endorphins as Toki's thumbs rubbed against the star tattoos lining his hip bones. His own erection pressing desperately against the others through the thin fabric of their trunks.

Grabbing Toki's shoulders he rolled him over, lying on top of him now. Toki wasn't going to top him on stage, and he certainly wasn't going to top him in bed either.

"Skwisgaar, wha-" The brunette whispered hoarsely, but was cut off with a gasp as Skwisgaar traced a tongue roughly over the smaller mans nipple. Hands entangled in the blonde hair, Toki ground hard into his abs. Whimpering at the attention being lavished on him. It was one of the sexiest noises Skwisgaar had ever heard.

Toki had received blow jobs from groupies before, and some of them were quite skilled, but the lead guitarists tongue tracing down his abs made his mouth water before he ever reached his destination. The damp cotton of his boxers being pulled down brushed roughly against his member, making him unconsciously buck his hips.

By the time the soaked fabric hit the carpet he was already in Skwisgaars mouth, his eyes squeezing shut hard to try and refrain from coming immediately.

He did not want to admit to Toki that this was the first time he had ever given a blow-job before, but he would imagine that despite the size it was similar to giving a woman oral. Judging by the look of ecstasy on his band mates face told him that he wasn't doing such a bad job.

What did surprise him was when Toki grabbed two fistfuls of his hair and began to push him down desperately. He rarely saw his band mate reach out and grab something he wanted so forcefully, it was a huge turn on and Skwisgaar decided it was time to take the next step. Pulling his head up for a moment he put two fingers in his mouth, liberally coating them with saliva before returning to what he was doing. As a moist finger traced Toki's tight opening one hand left his hair and moved to the sheets, grabbing a fistful of them tightly. 'So you know what's going to happen, Little Toki? What have you been watching on the internet lately?' He mused to himself as he inserted a finger, surprised to find his band-mate-turned-lover relaxing sooner than he expected. Inserting another finger he worked his tongue up and down his shaft teasingly until the smaller man was begging for more.

After a few more moments he felt that he was ready. Crawling back up to Toki's flushed face he breathed in the other mans musk and locked blue to blue as he silently asked if he should continue, lining himself up as he did so. When the younger man nodded Skwisgaar reached down and moved one of Toki's legs to the side as he pressed forward slowly.

Toki winced in pain, but said nothing as Skwisgaar sheathed himself fully before pausing a moment. Taking the brunettes slick member back in his hand he stroked it slowly to take away from the discomfort. After he heard a small moan of pleasure exit Toki's lips he moved out before pushing in again. When he heard no objection he began to move faster.

A few thrusts later Toki gasped in surprise when his prostate was hit again and again, leaving him breathless.

Skwisgaars mind was swimming with sensation as Toki's muscles began to clamp down around him. When he felt nails dig into the flesh of his back and warm fluid drip over his knuckles he finally let himself go, spilling himself into the rhythm guitarist.

Gasping, he collapsed on top of the smaller man in a sweaty heap. Neither of them having the words to describe what had just unfolded.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hours later a black Hummer pulled into the parking lot, unloading three-fifths of the band. All smelling mildly of the antiseptic of an Intensive Care Unit.

Nathan and Murderface made B-lines for their respective rooms while Pickles thought he would update the guitarists. He would have called but, as usual, the dethphones had no service. Knocking on the door he waited a moment before the Swede appeared in the door way, donning only jeans and looking quite disheveled.

"Hey, just wanted to tell ya that Charles is recover...ing... Holy creeap Skwisgaar, you look like hell. What heapened? Is Toki alright?"

An odd smirk tugged at the corners of the blondes lips. "Toki ams fine. He's asleep. I am tinking he will be okays."

Pickles raised a pierced eyebrow. "So what de hell happened ta you?"

Hanging on to the frame of the door Skwisgaar leaned out, towering over the smaller man. "I..." He started. "Has been makings Toki happy." He said almost threateningly before turning around and disappearing back into the room, but not before Pickles caught a glimpse of the bloody claw marks criss-crossing the blondes back.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

SO! Whatcha think? My first Dethklok fanfic. Other than the dialogue, if anyone sees errors feel free to tell me and I'll fix it.

REVIEWS = BRUTAL LOVE!!!