Shaun wasn't stupid.
The things Zach had said to him were hurtful, yes, but he wasn't going to just let Zach walk out of his life that easily. He would have to be a complete idiot to do so.
And Shaun was not an idiot.
--
Zach wasn't stupid.
He knew that from an outsider's perspective his and Shaun's relationship looked like it was just that of a summer fuck, but he knew that to be completely untrue. He knew that he meant more to Shaun than just a simple fuck. He also knew that Shaun meant a great deal more to him that just that.
He wasn't going to let Shaun go back to LA without ever apologizing for those awful things that he'd said. Or without telling Shaun exactly how he felt and what he wanted.
Shaun told him that he would never get what he wanted unless he took it; well, that's exactly what he was going to do. He was going to take Shaun's advice to heart. He'd be an idiot not to.
And Zach was not an idiot.
--
Shaun was such a fucking idiot.
He should have known that Zach wasn't ready go public with their relationship yet. Zach had never had a relationship outside of what he'd had with Tori, and he'd certainly never had a relationship with another man. If he were in Zach's position he wouldn't have been ready for that either. He shouldn't have pushed him so hard. He knew that he'd pushed Zach away, and now he just had to go back to LA and deal with it. Finish his shitty book and move into that shitty apartment all by himself.
Sure, that had been the plan when he'd first rented it, but once he'd planted the idea of Zach living there with him in his brain, he'd found the idea endlessly pleasing. But Zach was staying, and Shaun was leaving. And that was it; that was the end of their story, in big, bold letters.
THE END
He was so fucking stupid.
--
Zach was a fucking idiot.
Those things he'd said to Shaun were awful. He'd criticized who Shaun was. Shaun was upfront about things and he told people exactly how he felt and Zach admired that about him because he didn't have the courage to do that.
He'd been angry and scared and confused when he'd said all that stuff.
Confused about Shaun. About Jean. About himself. About his life.
But that was no excuse.
Such a fucking idiot.
--
Shaun was no idiot.
He'd known from the first night at the beach that he was going to kiss Zach. He didn't know how Zach would react or even if he would try to kiss him first, but he knew that it was going to occur. Soon.
There was a sexual energy that rested between them that he found increasingly hard to ignore. Only, it wasn't just that. It was that Zach had the sweetest smile and the greenest eyes he'd ever seen. It was that he had a natural talent for surfing – and art. It was that he cared for Cody without a word, simply because he was Cody. And it was also the way Zach looked when he was surfing. Shaun really did try his best not to stare too obviously, but the way the muscles in Zach's calves and arms had flexed when he hopped up to a standing position on his board, that had definitely caught Shaun's attention.
Shaun wasn't an idiot.
He knew that if he wasn't careful, he'd fall for Zach. And he was definitely not going to let that happen.
--
Zach had no idea what he was doing.
Driving home from Shaun's parents house that morning, all he could think was that he had no fucking idea what he was doing. With Shaun. With his life. With his potential.
But with Shaun, the not knowing wasn't so bad because this was Shaun and it was real and happy and good. He probably even loved Shaun. And not knowing was scary but it was also not scary because he did know what he was doing with Shaun. He knew exactly what he was doing. He was just being free. Being himself and having fun and stealing kisses and having sex with this guy who he was pretty sure he loved.
He was wrong before.
He knew exactly what the fuck he was doing.
He was falling in love.
--
No way was he going to let Zach off the hook that easily. He'd said some awful things and he'd also said that he was unsure, and he wasn't just going to throw himself back into Zach's arms – those strong, skilled, beautiful arms – just to be hurt again. He wouldn't let himself.
So, he asked Zach what had changed.
And his answer had surprised Shaun, shocked him. But most of all, it made him deliriously happy. Zach wasn't running from him anymore. They were about to embark on an incredible journey, and they were going to do it together.
He'd fallen for Zach just like he'd told himself not to.
He was so fucking stupid.