Hey guys, I guess I'm going to re-upload this. Um, its kinda changed, same basic plot though. I've been away from my little keyboard for quiet some time, and also occupied with other things. This is actually a middle school piece, or it was. Anyway, my writing has greatly improved so…yaaay~. This is based on something that happened to me in middle school. I still kinda know the guy too, not much has changed, I'm just not all torn up inside or anything now that a few years have passed, anyway Amu is way more passion filled, so this should…be more interesting then my life. Thank you so much to whoever has been reviewing this in my absence, you sir (most likely ma'm) are awesome.

Thanks to Kukamulover101 for making me want to update. Kukamu forever~!

I hadn't actually noticed he was gone. A year apart at different schools seemed to really weaken our relationship. He had moved on to middle school, leaving his friends, leaving me, behind. But now I was older, and again we shared the school. He was a year older and for some reason that now made all the difference. He had drifted from me and our old friends. Now I barely saw him, aside from classes we shared.

He may not have noticed it, no one really had, but I'd always had a bit of a crush on him. Yes I had dated other boys, but never him, and as those relationships feel apart I began to realize something. He was the one I truly liked. His name was Kukai Souma, and in elementary school he had been one of my very best friends.

I reflect on our pasts now as I sit in our shared class. I had long since gotten over my crush, I had barely noticed he wasn't actually here today. My science teacher continued to lecture about something as my eyes lazily scanned the room. I saw no auburn locks, no smirking features or giggling girls. I didn't think anything of it.

"Please pair up with your assigned lab partners, I'll pass the chart around, it's a new semester so see who your partner is." She set the paper on the first student's desk and it soon made its way down the rows. I sighed in boredom, crossing my legs and kept up my 'cool girl' act. The boy in front of me rudely shoved the page behind his head, waiting for me to grab its as he fumed about something unhappily, probably his new partner.

I snatched it and read down the list of names, finding mine and my partners. My golden eyes widened a fraction of an inch and for a reason I didn't wish to ponder my heart beat a bit faster.

'Hinamori Amu, Souma Kukai'

"Hurry up" came the snapped demand from behind me. I quickly put up a flippant air to cover my odd reaction and shoved the paper at the brunette behind me. I looked around for him, and noticed he wasn't there. The solution was simply a different partner for today but I was still irked by my inner feelings.

*.*.*.*.*

As the bell rang and the students where released for lunch hour, I got up, slinging my bag over my shoulder, not caring how un-feminine it was and began to make my way to the roof where my friends and I shared our lunches. As I walked my thoughts raced, though I kept up a calm air.

Why are you even still thinking about this...about him…? So he wasn't here today. I felt a small blush dust my cheeks, matching my rose locks. So what…why do you care? I shook my head quickly. I don't care…dammit. I was approaching a less occupied part of the school and allowed my self to slump over to a nearby wall. Letting my shoulder support my weight, I hung my head, my fingers pinching the bridge of my nose. I had gotten over him a long time ago…right?

Suddenly I felt the need to look up, and as I did I saw him leaving a nearby office. He was reading a piece of paper, and for the first time in a year my heart stopped. His bright ginger hair shown in the light from the windows and his electric green eyes scanned the sheet dully. His uniform was a bit disheveled, as was his style, a bit of his milky chest revealed. He was conditioned for sports and it showed through his uniform and posture. As I opened my mouth and tried to back away, his eyes raised from the paper and darted to me.

A breath taking smirk spread across his handsome face and his eyes glinted with something foreign to me. It was playfulness close to lust and it stopped my heart. Was he smiling at me like that? Was he waving to me? This couldn't be true. A bit skeptical and numb I began to raise my hand before a waterfall of blonde severed my view of him. She walked as though the world were to bow at her heels. The uniform of the highschool adorned her body and I knew who she was.

Utau Tsukiyomi was pretty enough to be a model. He long legs and beautiful hair complemented her pail and dainty complexion. She sang at local coffee shops and was becoming very well known. Her voice was that of an angel, and her personality seemed to match, calm and docile. At least that's what I thought until I heard her playful whisper to the proudly smirking young man.

He grabbed her around the waist and swept down for a lingering kiss that was far from innocent. I saw black before red, then my vision was blurry. My heart wrenched violently in my chest and I felt the walls would suffocate me. I turned quickly, unnoticed by anyone and dashed away. A teacher called out to me to not run in the hallways, but I kept going.

All I could see was the image of the two wrapped around each other, she had come to visit him for some reason. But the reason didn't matter, not now. I slammed myself down on the floor at a safe distance and many hallways away. A few people spared me a glance but kept walking. I shook my head violently again, this was no place to break down, not here. I got up, gasping as my tears choked me and ran again, this time I made it to a stairwell and plopped myself down on the steps, trying to calm myself. I knew not why my heart was tearing me apart. I thought I had gotten over this. Why did I even care? He was just some guy I went to school with.

My fist slammed against the banister.

"Dammit." I whispered, my voice hoarse. I dried my tears as best I could, suddenly feeling exhausted. "Why now…this is so unfair." I mumbled to myself as I let my head fall onto my arms in my lap.

"Amu-chan?" My eyes widened and I looked up quickly to see my feminine friend Naghihiko rushing towards me. His long hair trailed behind him as he knelt next to me, his thin hands clasping my face. "Amu-chan, are you alright?" his light voice was laced with worry and I shook my head, forcing a weak smile.

"Yeah, I'm totally fine." I lied, my eyes still red from the intense emotion. He glared at me and took my hand.

"I can't help you if you lie to me Amu-chan. Please tell me what's wrong?" He stood and helped me up as well. I sighed and walked with him as we began to go back up the stairs.

"Nothing important, I can't believe I was even crying over it." He giggled and I gave him a look.

"Amu-chan, trying to keep up your cool act with puffy eyes is really pointless. You look funny." I giggled slightly also before my face fell, my voice becoming soft.

"It's just…you think about someone all the time right? And suddenly, they make it really clear they don't want anything to do with you…so you forget. But then, for some reason, your stupid heart decides to beat again for them….and they just hit you with the information again, ten fold. It…hurts Nagi-kun…it kills you." I quickly wiped at my face, afraid more tears would fall.

"Believe me…I know." I looked at him, noticing his serious tone, but he wouldn't look at me, his eyes where focused forward.

"Been there Naghihiko-kun?" I asked, half joking, but my smile fell when he nodded solemnly. "Aw, I'm sorry Nagi-kun!" I hugged him as we continued walking and he laughed a bit.

"Well, we learn to get over it again right? Learn to adapt, and except reality. That's what I've done anyway." He smiled at me in a melancholy manor, and I returned his weak smile.

"Yeah, its just always harder the second time right?" He nodded in agreement.

*.*.*.*.*

I spent the rest of the day in a daze, entirely shut off to keep my emotions in check. When the final bell rang and I began my trek home, I almost had my mask cemented into place again.

But as the sound of a warm voice filled my ears, my hard work went to waste. I turned around to see him hurrying up the hill I took home, towards me. I glanced behind me as he waved, but was confused to find no model-like blonde.

"Yo, Amu-san!" My eyes widened as he stopped in front of me and my heart beat rampant in my chest. My mind was full of chaos but I managed a weak 'yo' in return. He smirked down at me, in a very cat-like manor and I blinked owlishly, unbelieving of this.

"Ah, sorry, the first name was a little forward huh?" he laughed and scratched the back of his head in a flippant manor and I shook my head.

"I-it's not that, well I mean…yeah that's a bit forward but…I just haven't really talked to you in like, a year." I looked up at him with a bit of warm smile, seeing this side of him again was refreshing, the sexy skater that came out around his girlfriend was a bit to much for my fried nerves to handle. The world 'girlfriend' rung hollow in my mind as his musical laughter filled the air.

"Yeah, I can't believe it either. Guess there's not really any excuse for it huh?" He smiled down at me, but this was again a different smile, it was warm, not sexual. For some reason I felt empty. I knew I had no right to, I had never once even hinted at my feelings for him. But to know he had someone special to him, and that someone wasn't me…It made me feel very selfish.

"Jerk." I said playfully and lightly punched his arm. He laughed and held up his hands in a submissive manor.

"Right? Really though…can I walk you home?" He asked. I briefly wondered where Utau was but decided it didn't matter as his imploring eyes met mine. I shrugged and pretend to be flippant.

"Alright, but you better buy me some taiaki or something." I said and began walking. He laughed with 'you got it' and quickly caught up to me. He matched his long strides with mine, and I felt my heart flutter as we strolled through the spring air. For some reason I knew I wasn't being fair.

This could only end badly, especially with my emotions all over the place. What was the reason for his sudden re-interest in our friendship? Why was he being so nice when before he wouldn't even notice me in the hallways? Why now, when he could have her?

Whatcha think? Better? I got a better plot in mind anyway, I'll try to keep this thing from drying up and dying on me. This rating might go up as the story progress, seeing as I'm an old pervert now…lolz, jk not really but yes really about the rating.

Quick Notes for you not so Japanese Culture savvy.

"the first name was a little much huh?" In Japan, it is considered VERY rude to call someone by their first name unless they are a very close friend. Of coarse in some contexts or family related its okay. Sometimes it expresses an interest in want to be close to someone. Usually though you say someone's last name and the honorific specific to their gender, age, and relation to you.

'Chan'- for a close female friend or a girl younger then you, or a much younger girl (like a little kid) (boyfriends use this for their girlfriends)

'Kun'- for a close male friend or a boy younger then you, or a much younger boy (like a little kid) (girls friends use this for their boyfriends)

'San'- coupled with the last name it would be for an acquaintance. With the first name it's a generic friend.

'Sama'- used for someone you respect, like an upper classmen or adult that isn't your parent or close friend.

'Kohei' – means 'under classmen' used for under classmen (this applies for all level of schools or business)

'Sempai' – means 'upper classmen' used for upper classmen (this applies for all levels of schools or business)

'Sensei' – means 'teacher' used to address your teacher, principle, boss (in some cases) or someone teaching you something.

Separately, Taiaki is a warm treat that can be bought from venders or frozen from machines. It is filled with red bean paste (or ice cream or chocolate or whatever) and is in a fish shaped crust. Oooooooooooomigod it's so good.

Okay, wow, way more then I needed to explain.

My rambling is done.

Review Please, thank you

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