Title: 63 Seconds

Author: brightblue

Rating: T (nothing worse than you'd see on the actual show…)

Spoilers: References to a specific scene in Reunion and general S7 spoilers. We can only hope this spoils future episodes!

Disclaimer: Two of the three things heavily featured in this story I can lay claim to. Sadly, that is not any of the NCIS team. I would reveal the two things I am totally badass at, but that would spoil the story.

Summary: McGee deals with all the staring in a very McGee-ish way. Abby helps him cope. Tiva-licious, though only a brief cameo by our dynamic duo.

AN: To celebrate what will hopefully be an awesome Ziva episode tonight and an even better Tiva episode, here's a little drabble-y thing that I wrote randomly the other day. And, for the record, Abby is a lot harder to write than she seems. Enjoy!

"Sixty three seconds!"

The loud voice, heard over the pounding music, startles Abby. Not so much by its sudden appearance (years of working with Gibbs has made her accustomed to sneak attacks) but because of just who has taken that screechy tone with her.

"McGee!" Abby scolds, yanking off her rubber gloves and shaking out the crick in her neck, developed from a good hour spent bent over her lab table. She really needs to start going to yoga classes again. Not only do they help center her mind, but all that stretching does wonders for her poor, abused back. "No yelling in my lab!"

But her reprimand goes unanswered as McGee, eyes fever bright, stalks over to her computer without another word. Abby's lips quirk up at the sight of her favorite geek so intently focused.

Abby disposes of her gloves and clicks her stereo's volume down to a more respectable level. Grabbing her CafPow, she saunters over to Tim. He has not yet acknowledged her presence and this intrigues her.

"What bug crawled up your butt, McGee?" She asks as she comes to stand next to him. He has pulled up a spreadsheet from his flash drive up on her computer and is typing in some new information. Abby studies the screen with a frown.

Tim turns to her. Seeing the look on his face, Abby's first thought is that Tony got him with a prank, which would be the first one in awhile. This past summer, Tony fortunately didn't use poor Timmy as an outlet for his grief and anger. Though now that Ziva is officially back, Abby wonders if the team dynamics haven't regressed a bit. Abby is delighted that Ziva has returned safe and healthy, of course, but Tony and Tim did find such a nice friendship over the months that she was missing (Abby steadfastly refused to believe Ziva, the indestructible ninja, was actually dead). Abby would hate to see that disappear.

"Sixty three seconds, Abby," McGee repeats. Abby just looks at him with confusion.

"Explain, Timmy," she says as she waves her hands in front of his face, trying to break his trance. "I don't understand what you are talking about." The words are drawn out slowly, patiently, as if she were speaking to a small child.

McGee sighs. He punches the mysterious number into a cell on the spreadsheet and, with a few more keystrokes, pulls up a graph. Studying the image, Abby looks at him in alarm.

"McGee," she says, aghast. "Are you collecting data points on Tony and Ziva?"

Tim has the good sense to look sheepish. But only for a moment. He caves into her quirked eyebrow and rushes to explain.

"Abby, I cannot work like this any more. I thought it was bad before. But before was nothing, nothing compared to this. They just spent sixty-three seconds staring at each other without saying one word. Not one!" McGee's voice hits a higher register as a jabs at the graph on the monitor. "And look, the staring is increasing in both frequency and duration."

"Hmm," is all Abby says as she studies the monitor. It's true. There is a steady upward trend of the time Tony and Ziva spend staring at one another; the frequency of data points has also increased as the weeks have gone on. Abby takes a long pull from her CafPow as McGee considers the graph with a scowl. "It's interesting, McGee, I'll grant you that. And you know I love a good graph. But why do you feel the need to collect data on their behavior?"

Tim takes a deep, cleansing breath. Abby grins.

"The graph is a symbol of my increasing annoyance and impatience," McGee answers, his voice carefully restrained. Abby cannot help but find his irritation amusing. "At least this way I know that it's not me that is being intolerant of their antics; it is their behavior that is actually getting worse."

Abby shrugs. "What's the big deal, anyway? I mean, Tony and Ziva have always gazed at one another inappropriately." She thinks back to all those times she caught Tony's eyes lingering on Ziva's retreating form. (Girl does know how to rock a come-hither hip swing. Abby will have to remember to ask Ziva for tips on that later.) Ziva, too, is guilty of letting her eyes rake over Tony's body. Especially when he wears jeans. And bends over. Which does look pretty damn good.

Well, whatever. Abby's sure that both Tony and Ziva are both active participants in their game of lusty looks.

Turning to face her, McGee looks at her with those imploring, puppy-dog eyes that Abby can never resist. "Yes, I know. But not all the time. And usually when they caught each other looking, they would turn away or try to brush it off. But now…now…"

Abby just raises her eyebrows as McGee struggles to find the words to describe this new facet of Tony and Ziva. Frankly, Abby doesn't quite get his annoyance. It's true that McGee has always taken the brunt of the exposure to the Tony and Ziva flirting. Having witnessed enough of that first hand, Abby certainly doesn't fault him for being annoyed. And it's also true that ever since Ziva's return things have been different between Tony and Ziva, as if that whole experience has changed them both. (And hopefully that means they won't go around denying their clearly major feelings for one another too much longer. Abby won't be able to resist the urge to smack sense into them both if they try to keep up the same old denial dance.)

"Here," Tim finally just gives up. He turns back to the computer and after a few seconds has the squad room surveillance footage pulled up. Scanning through what Abby notes as footage from this morning, Tim seems to find the moment he's looking for and stands back to let her watch.

Abby sees Tony, Ziva, and McGee at their desks. For a moment, it's boring business as usual. Then, without warning, things change. Tony looks up from the file he's studying to grab his coffee. At the same time, Ziva, talking on the phone, flips her hair over her shoulder. The motion catches Tony's attention and the intensity, no, naked hunger, in his gaze makes Abby's mouth drop open. But that's just the beginning. Sensing his stare, Ziva freezes mid-word; her lips remain poised in a syllable as her eyes slide to meet his. Tony surprises Abby by not looking away and not shrouding the heat in his eyes as she's seen him do so many times before. Ziva's posture changes. Her shoulders fall back; her chin tilts up. Something smolders in her gaze. Her eyes never leave Tony's as she stops talking altogether. (Abby hopes the phone call wasn't that important.) And then, for an extended amount of time, Tony and Ziva just look at one another.

A smile blooms on Abby's face as she eavesdrops on their nonverbal conversation. She's amazed the security camera didn't catch on fire. It isn't until Gibbs strides through the bullpen that Tony and Ziva break their connection and hurry to get back to work, neither one looking all that bothered by what just happened. Well, not until Tony goes for his coffee and manages to spill half of it onto his desk, earning a secret smile from Ziva.

"Oh. My. God," Abby says, and her grin starts to test the limits of her cheeks. She smacks McGee on the arm.

"Hey!"

"You didn't tell me that was happening!" Abby gestures madly at the monitor.

"I thought I just did?" McGee seems confused.

"Well, yeah, after collecting three weeks worth of data on it!" Abby tries to work up some anger but is just too elated by this new development. "You should've told me sooner that Tony and Ziva were making moony-faces at one another!"

"Moony-faces?" McGee gives her a sour look. "Is that how you would describe it?"

Abby rolls her eyes at him and his impossible maleness. "How would you describe it, Tim?"

"I don't know," he answers. "Annoying?"

"Timmy, Timmy, Timmy!" Abby says with a sigh. She clicks off the monitor and guides McGee to a stool. Pushing him down, she tries to explain. "That annoyingness is what can only crudely be referred to as eye sex."

McGee gives her an incredulous look. "Eye sex?"

"Yes!" Abby's argument gains fuel and she finds herself pacing the floor in front of her friend. "Eye sex! It is not just your standard flirtatious look. It is not just checking someone out and liking what you see." She demonstrates these actions on McGee and is pleased to see him swallow visibly. She smiles. "Eye sex is a mutual exchange of lust and, in this case, even love through just a gaze. It is hot. It is passionate. It is two people making love with their eyes!"

Abby finishes her speech with a flourish. All Tim says in response is, "gross."

Shaking her head, Abby places her hands on McGee's shoulders. "No worries, Tim. As soon as they start knocking boots for real, your little line graph should start a downward trend."

"You don't think that Tony and Ziva would actually…" His voice travels up an octave or two.

Abby nods solemnly. "Get used to it, McGee. Tony and Ziva are in L-O-V-E."

Tim inhales. He closes his eyes. "I was afraid of that."

Giving him a sympathetic nod, Abby pats his shoulder. "Look on the bright side."

"There's a bright side?" He asks, only opening one eye to regard her.

"There's always a bright side," Abby assures, clicking off the security footage. She returns to her lab table. "Once they finally give into all that sexual tension, they can stop taking their frustrations out on you."

McGee just looks at her.

Abby rolls her eyes. "Have you not noticed that every time Derek in HR flirts with Ziva, you end up super glued to something? And did you really think that Ziva cared to hear the dirty details of your last writer's retreat? She didn't. She was pissed at Tony for stealing her parking spot and so she was making him squirm by giving him the cold shoulder, knowing that it would drive him crazy."

"Oh," Tim frowns and Abby immediately feels bad for raining on his parade and peeing in his Cheerios.

"Not that Ziva didn't want to hear about your writer's retreat…" she hurries to correct, though can't bring herself to put much feeling into the fib.

"No, I get it," he sighs. "Tony was right. I am just the sidekick. Tony and Ziva are the romantic leads. And I'm doomed to forever be privy to their eye flirting."

"Eye sex."

"Whatever!"

Abby can't help but pull her friend into a hug. "Stop the crazy-talk, McGee. Tony and Ziva may be the stars in their own weird, twisted hybrid of a film noir meets screwball comedy, but you are the star of your own blockbuster. And I never want you to think otherwise ever again."

"Okay," grumbles McGee. Abby squeezes him harder to make her point. She grins when he starts to hug her back. "But if I'm the star, what does that make you?"

Pulling back, Abby winks at him and the eager look on his face. "I'm the wisdom-dispensing, all-knowing guru that will steer the handsome male lead down destiny's true path."

"Really?"

Major Mass-Spec dings right on cue. The printer whirs to life. Abby skips over to retrieve her results. "Of course! Now follow Lady Fate up to Gibbs' desk and tell him that the substance in O'Hagan's hair was definitely talcum powder."

"Got it," Tim takes the paper from her hands and leaves her with a kiss on the cheek.

Abby beams. Then, thinking for a second, she calls after him, "And be sure to send me daily progress updates on your data!" She turns to address her babies with a shimmy. "Whew! Momma needs a cold shower!"

The lights on her machines blink knowingly.

Fin.

AN2: Okay, hope that was fun for y'all. Data collection, graphs, and lusty looks make my day. I think The Nutter Butter scene is in the running for favorite Tiva scene ever. Oh, the sexiness! Self pimp: I finally, finally finished Tangled Up so if you've been holding off to read it until it was finished, now is your chance! Finally, this was for Ana, because she understands the hotness of the eye sex and how it must be analyzed in very specific detail. ;-)