You Wish! Productions presents…

The Price of Life

By: Blue Taboo

Proud member of Darkscribes.org and Evafics.org

Chapter 5- Fantasies

Shinji awoke, confused at the sight of his own white shirt suspended above him, shading him from the sun that crept in-between the two boulders. It only took him to a moment to remember. Third Impact…Asuka…Tokyo-3…Panda…Sandstorm…Pain…"I love you." It seemed like years ago, the day he'd woken up in similar fashion on the beach. Hard to believe it had been just a week. Now, as to how the shirt had gotten there, and what had happened since he'd fallen asleep, he had no idea. He considered getting up, but put the thought aside as soon as the pain returned with a vengence. He'd been injured somehow, and it motivated him to keep still, despite his curiosity. There was no doctor to go to, no one to diagnose his wounds, so it would be in the boy's best interest to just stay put and try not to make it worse than it already was. He merely listened, hoping to hear the sounds of his companions.

It was just a little while before Panda came over to inspect him. The skinny dog sniffed his leg, and then went up to Shinji's face to confirm consciousness. He sniffed some more, tickling the boy's skin with his cold nose and whiskers.

Shinji smiled and slowly lifted an arm to push the dog back, finding that it wasn't his limbs that hurt him. "Good morning, Panda. Where's Asuka?"

The dog sniffed at him a little more, but then obeyed the gentle push he was being given. He barked once, twice, three times and then Shinji heard footsteps. As much as he longed for Asuka's presence, he was still afraid of what she might do or say. He didn't know what to think after what she'd said. She'd been so upset the whole time they fought to escape the storm. Then…then she'd said it was because she loved him. He was so confused, but at the same time very glad, hoping she really did mean it. He hadn't chased her all over the barren earth for nothing. Well, not the entire earth, but they'd gone a long way from that beach, in many respects besides physical distance.

"Well, well," Asuka chimed as she stood over him, "Look who's finally decided to join us? It's afternoon, Shinji. You've got to stop scaring the shit out of me…"

Same old Asuka, in a way at least. He smiled up at her. "Sorry…"

"Didn't I tell you to stop apologizing too? You never listen…Aren't you going to get up?" she asked.

"Um…I would, but I don't want to make it worse than it is…" he told her.

Asuka had obviously been hoping that his complaints would be gone when he woke. "Y-you're still hurting?" she questioned with some concern.

He didn't want to upset her, but it wasn't going to help either of them if he lied. "Yeah, but it's not as bad. I—"

She cut him off with her sudden downward movement. She crouched down by him and started working the buttons of the over-sized shirt he'd been "borrowing" from the apartment above the store.

"What are you doing?!" he demanded, his hands reaching up to stop her.

"I need to see if you have any bruises, idiot. Don't get the wrong idea just because of what I said last night," she instructed and continued to take his shirt off.

"Oh…uh...sor—no…um about last night…?"

She stopped and looked him in the eye. "Let's save that discussion for later, okay? Right now I need to see what the hell you did to yourself."

"Okay…"

She opened his shirt and looked his upper body over. She was correct in her assumption that there were going to be marks. A big red-purple bruise covered the boy's left side, too fresh as of yet to be dark. She winced as she saw it, thinking how painful it must be for him.

Shinji saw the look on her face. "What's wrong?"

"You've got a huge bruise on your side. It's pretty bad, but I think you'll be okay. If you've made it through this long, you couldn't have damaged anything important. Did you land on your side when you got thrown?"

"I don't know. I can't remember." He really couldn't. All he knew was that the slab fell nearly at his feet and then he was in the air. He had no recollection of ever landing.

"You probably broke some ribs too," she sighed and leaned back on her knees. "I'm just glad you're all right. You can't leave me now…"

"I don't plan to."

Both paused for a moment, just looking at each other and hoping it was the truth.

"Good, but I think you can at least get up. Here, I'll help you, so you don't crunch those ribs." Asuka stood, offering him both of her hands.

Almost like an angel taking me up to heaven, Shinji mused.

A real angel. He took her hands and found her to be right yet again. He cried out as he came to his feet. His left side burned with pain, but wasn't so bad when he stood straight up. He let out a long sigh and didn't let go of her hands. She didn't object, but he eventually did let go anyway, as soon as he got his head back.

"I'll live," he told her as the pain subsided.

She smiled back at him. "Just get your shirt back on. I wanna get the hell out of here."

He obeyed her order and started to button his garment back up again. "Where do you want to go?"

"Let's stick to the mountains. It'll be slow, but we don't have to get anywhere in a hurry. Besides," she gestured to the desert below that had nearly killed all of them, "I don't want to go back there again and the mountains go around it."

Shinji nodded. "Good idea."

Panda, who'd been busy exploring the area around the two boulders, came back and looked expectantly up at Shinji.

The boy knew what he wanted. "Asuka, have you fed him yet?"

"Uh…no…"

Shinji laughed. She wasn't used to animals. It had always been his job to take care of Pen Pen anyway. He wondered if maybe the little penguin was out there somewhere, but quickly came back to more important matters. He started for the two backpacks that lay just ahead of him in the dirt.

"No, no," Asuka scolded him and held him back. "You shouldn't be bending over anytime soon. I'll do it."

It was nice, seeing her do something for him, but Shinji wasn't exactly sure as to why he was so happy as he watched Asuka lay the miscellaneous food in front of the grateful dog. There was a kindness in the very gesture that he'd always seen in her without ever really seeing. Even when she made fun of him and hit him, he still believed it was there. After all, she was so much like him…how could she not have the caring…the understanding he did? She knew what it was like to have all kinds of shit rain down on her, so she had to be kind, somewhere. She hated pain too.

It was amazing how simply she made his go away.

~$~$~$~

They gathered together their gear, though Shinji found his pack considerably lighter for some reason, and headed off into the mountains, away from the coast. The terrain was pretty rocky, which made their pace rather slow as man and beast picked their way through the rocks. There were thin patches of vegetation here and there, but no trees. The area had an eerie, open feeling to it, like some great winged predator was tracking them and could swoop down on their unprotected forms at any moment.

Asuka dismissed that thought from her head. They only things that could've done something like that stood testament to their self-destruction in the sea at their backs. She wanted to look back to make sure, out of impulse, but denied herself of it. There was no point.

A question, well, one among many, had been festering at the back of her mind ever since she awoke on the beach. At the thought of the Mass Production Evas she simply asked it, if only for conversation to get her mind off the sky. "When I was fighting the MP Evas, why didn't you ever come?"

"Huh?" The boy was shocked out of his travel daze. Shinji stopped in his tracks and lifted his head. He too had questions, but also those that he would rather not be asked. The policy of this new world was truth, though. As much as it could be painful, he didn't want to destroy it so early.

"You know, the big white things that regenerated themselves and I had no hope of defeating. Why didn't you come and save the day like you always did?"

Shinji sighed as pictures of himself, crying and waiting for death to come without even the slightest thought of action against it filtered into his mind. He had hoped Asuka would save him. At that time, he hadn't even had the idea that he was worth anything or could help anyone. And besides, "I-I couldn't get to Unit 01. They flooded its cage with bakelite." His voice was a soft monotone, knowing that the screams he heard over the loudspeakers could not be apologized for in anyway he knew of.

Asuka silently started them walking again, her face a mask also of monotony, of nothing. Her disappointment at him couldn't show, not now at least. "Your turn."

"What?"

"I asked you a question about Instrumentality, now you ask me one. It's only fair." She felt guilty for creating the uncomfortable mood, but sooner or later, every question would be asked and answered, even the most difficult ones.

"What was your world like?" he inquired curiously.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, maybe you didn't have one, but I think that everyone did, I don't know why, though. The sea of LCL offered understanding of others and then it offered complete freedom, at least that's what it seemed like. It gave just me a blank space and told me to make it mine. At first, I had no idea what to do, but then," he paused, realizing the horribly fake universe he'd created that seemed like he pulled it right out of a television show. "It was like a dream, a good one, but there are certain things that let you know that a dream is a dream…and then I was on the beach with you."

Asuka was a few feet ahead of him, but still listening. She negotiated a boulder and waited for him to catch up. "I did have one of those, but it didn't last more than an hour. I know what you mean. It was too good to be true."

Shinji warily approached the obstacle and Panda scaled it easily and returned to his place at the girl's side. "So what was it like?"

Asuka noticed his caution and offered the boy a hand to help him over. "I was older, we all were, and NERV had dissolved and the UN gave all of its employees a huge settlement. We were pretty much set for life. Misato was taking us on a trip to, well, somewhere, I don't really remember, but everyone was there…Me, You, Hikari, the other two stooges, even Rei. Everyone, well, they were just too happy…"

"That's how it was in my world too," Shinji confirmed as he dropped down on the other side.

"Isn't it sad that the happiness we felt was what gave away the illusion?"

"Yeah, but worse things could've happened."

"Worse things did happen."

~$~$~$~

She stood tall and proud, as usual. Asuka Langley Sohryu, the defeater of Angels, the former pilot of Evangelion Unit 02, and now the graduate of her second high school. After NERV was dissolved, she almost stopped going, but decided it was better than going to another college by herself and that it would improve her lacking kanji skills. Now, at 18 years of age, she was just as beautiful as she always was, except even better now that she was taller and even more mature.

And she stood with a few of her fellow graduates from Tokyo-3 Municipal High School 's class of 2020. Shinji Ikari, former pilot of Unit 01, was now barely recognizable to all those who knew him simply as the wimpy little boy who got shoved into the giant robot. Now he was even taller than her, despite his Asian ancestry, and his once soft and boyish features were beginning to harden, while still maintaining their trademark innocence. He was the better looking of the three stooges, who came as a complete set. Kensuke was still short with curly hair and over-sized glasses, but a promising career in Computer Science awaited him after he took his full-ride scholarship to the University of his choice. Touji had lived up to his title of dumb jock well enough. He'd been the star of the school's basketball team and would go on to making some college very happy, and maybe even a professional team. Hikari, who now sported a shorter haircut and got rid of the pig tails, would be, as always, his own personal fan club. Rei Ayanami, well, one might find it hard to believe, but the truth was that she was an aspiring art student, finding solace and purpose in canvas and oils during her high school career.

Misato Katsuragi was now 35, and not even Misato Katsuragi anymore. Misato Kaji was now 35 and the mother of one, but it didn't stop her from unloading her young son upon his father for a week to give her older Children a little vacation as a reward for their graduation. It didn't help that NERV had given her an enormous settlement, as well as all of its employees, so they got to pick any place they wanted. A tour of Europe was planned, with Asuka as the guide for a good portion of it.

They all stood in the airport, or rather sat, awaiting a private charter jet to meet them at the gate. Touji and Hikari were chatting sweetly about this and that, quickly becoming the envy of every single being in the airport. Kensuke was showing off some 3D renderings he'd done on his laptop to a curious Rei. Misato was busy making some last minute plans, which left Asuka and Shinji with only each other for conversation.

"So German food is really that good, huh?" he asked in response to her recent ravings about it and how she would be glad to eat decent food again.

"Of course! Trust me, Shinji, if you have any interest in being a good cook, you have to take advice from the professionals, and Germany is where it's at when it comes to food." Her voice had grown away from, if only slightly, its once high pitch and into a more womanly tambour. It suited her better, now that her attitude had also lessened a little, but it still remained, just like the octave high jumps she could achieve in her voice to get her message across.

"What about the other countries we're visiting? I mean, France is supposed to produce great chefs. You're always hearing about French chefs…" Shinji's once unsure and boyish voice had also deepened, but that was expected of a teenage boy. Luckily for his social life, he didn't develop a deep and threatening boom like his father, but rather a calming baritone. It also matched his change of attitude, now more easy-going than paranoid and submissive. He had many friends now, but still kept his group of close friends from the Angel Wars around him. He was always willing to go out and do new things, see new places, and things like that. Shinji was often said to make the excuse that he was making up for his sheltered early years. His life had gone far from just simply 'existing' now.

"Well, yeah, but each country is different. I think Germany has the best food, but a lot of people like French food. Hell, a lot of people adore Japanese food! I don't hate it, but I don't think it's the greatest thing ever."

He leaned his elbows up against the carryon bag that sat on his lap, propping his chin up on his hands. His eyes were only on her, but it wouldn't be the first time Shinji had looked at Asuka in that way. Their relationship was a strange one, to say the least. She knew that he liked her, a lot, and she was known to even occasionally reciprocate his feelings for her. They had never officially 'gone out' in their years of knowing each other, but they still lived together, under the watchful eye of Misato and Ryouji, who was still called Kaji, even though there were two other Kajis in the residence. The cramped apartment that had once been called home by Misato and the Children had long since been given up for a more spacious suburban house after Shinji aided Asuka in the quick defeat of the 17th Angel.

The former Major had seen them embracing and even kissing a fair share of isolated times, but nothing had ever really developed in the public eye. As outgoing as Shinji had become in light of his former self, and as gregarious as Asuka always was, Misato suspected that the two teens were shy, even scared of a serious relationship, and had avoided one. Misato was personally hoping the trip would do some good for that situation, thinking that Asuka and Shinji could really hit it off when they were away from the pressures and worries of home.

It was actually their first real break. After NERV had been deemed unnecessary by the UN and the Evangelions put into long-term cryostasis, there had been certain restrictions on former personnel. They couldn't leave Japan for the first year, so they could all be cleared of any involvement with the various conspiracies that popped up after the Angel Wars, one of which had put Gendo Ikari in jail for a good many years. Then the media began to jump on them, all of them, requesting any information they could give. With that, and school, and preparing for college, the young people who were once subjected to piloting the beasts known only as Eva had been busy over the past four years.

Asuka was excited for the trip, thinking also on Misato's wavelength that it would give her a chance to spend more time with Shinji and show him the land she lived in for the better part of her life. She enjoyed spending time with the boy, that she knew for a fact. They had grown close over the years, becoming very good friends and having…moments…at which one would question the exact nature of their friendship. Neither had gone out with anyone in high school. There had been dates, and many of them, but none had gone to a point where either was part of a couple. Everyone suspected, even the two lovebirds themselves, but no one had really acted.

That was what Asuka had hoped to do, act.

~$~$~$~

"What are you thinking about?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing…"

"It's got to be something. I've been trying to talk to you for a few minutes now…"

"I'll tell you when you're older."

~$~$~$~

Their walking was not filled entirely with silence. They chatted idly about things, memories of what they used to do back when the world was whole, and played a game that was becoming more of a ritual than anything else. Shinji threw the ball. Panda brought it back. Asuka threw the ball. Panda brought it back and the cycle started all over again. Midday came and went, without lunch. The Children decided to conserve what food they had left for a larger evening meal, but not because they particularly wanted to. They were both tired and hungry…and supplies that they had misjudged on were in short order.

However, when the sun began to set in the west, luck was found silhouetted against the red sky of sunset. A small mountain village with no more than five streets total was waiting to meet them, surprisingly intact, for the most part, despite its closeness to Tokyo-3.

"The first thing I want," Asuka proclaimed as they nearly ran through the debris blocking the road into the little town, "Is a hot meal and then I need a bath, I don't care if it's hot or cold of if I have to dredge it up from some well."

"Isn't it funny how much we appreciate…everything now?" Shinji mused.

"Yeah, but I still want a hot meal, and that's your job."

Asuka got her hot meal, even if it was over a charcoal grill they'd found tipped over on someone's porch. No meat they'd found was edible, but a few garden vegetables that demanded picking, along with some rice and other various items from the town's tiny grocery store were better than anything either of them had eaten in a more than a week, which still seemed like years. They talked and laughed, though carefully avoiding the topic of words said between them on certain separate occasions. That day was simply not suitable for such talk. The town ran on a system of wells, and after much searching, they found a house whose plumbing was still in semi-working order. The water ran slow and cold and didn't even run long enough to fill the tub, but Asuka got her bath. Shinji settled for water pumped from an old-fashioned contraption he messed around with. Better just to let her have what she wanted undisturbed, he figured.

Beds were found, in the same house, but two this time, in two different rooms. As he'd predicted, Asuka went into hers and shut the door, at least bidding him good night, and he was left to his own accord. Suddenly, he missed the constant contact he'd had with her for the days since he'd caught up with her. Panda was still there, at his side, but now looking just as weary as the boy, his belly full and his heart content. Shinji, on the other hand, did have a full stomach, but now felt an emptiness tugging at him.

"I guess…I'll see you in the morning…"

Maybe he shouldn't hope for too much, but she did say those words.

Maybe they should've talked about it…

~$~$~$~

"Hey Shinji!" Asuka exclaimed as she shook him awake.

"Wha-what?" he responded sleepily.

"Look!" she demanded, pointing out the window.

He cautiously leaned over her, hoping that he wouldn't anger her off in doing so, but found her only smiling, awaiting his comments on what lay below them as they soared over Europe in the small jet. He looked down, finding a distant city below him.

"It's just a city," he reported pointlessly.

"It's not just a city," Asuka corrected, pride welling up in her voice, "It's Berlin and I'm going to show you the whole damn thing if I can."

~$~$~$~

Such fantasies…

But they mirrored reality in one fact: the slow pace at which things now happened. Eva made the days fly by. Water ran. Microwaves cooked food. Cars, trains, airplanes, you name it and it got you anywhere you wanted to go much faster than your feet ever could. Hatred was so easy…

Love, well, it only seemed easy…

But such is the price of life, or the new life that had been given to the last of the Angels.

Humanity awakened, day by day, person by person, from their fantasies and left the sea…

But how were they to know that anyone else had done so?

Instrumentality could have filled the gaps of loneliness they felt, but it had been rejected…

And, now, they would have to learn how to love again.

Thank you to my pre-readers Random1377, Lord Deathscythe, Shinagami, and Karina Kineshi. Sorry Coe and Wes, but you're too slow.

Also thank you to my readers. I'm not dead…I just had writer's block! But I'm back now and Cross 14 should hit the stands soon, hopefully. Sorry about the delay and all, but that's just how it goes. I've been preparing a re-design on my website (http://www.wbw.envy.nu/entry.html) which I plan to put up by the 30th of August, again, hopefully. It all depends on certain writings getting finished by a bunch of lazy people.

- Blue Taboo -

Oh yeah, and just in case you're wondering, this isn't the end. It's the end of a phase of PoL, which happens every five chapters. Don't worry about this ending anytime soon, because it's gonna be a long one…