Chapter 1 (EPOV)

I'm sitting here going through applications yet again. Every person in here doesn't seem qualified enough or won't perform all the duties that I would like to be done.

Since my wife died last winter, it's just been Jake and me. My family is more than willing to help, but I don't want to have to rely on them all the time. Since Tanya's passing I've tried to work a lot less so I can spend more time with our only son, Jacob. He's almost two years old and for the past six months I've been wanting him to have a sturdy female role model. So I've been going through applications for a live in nanny.

I rather have a live in nanny than a babysitter or Jacob going to daycare due to my hours at the office and eventually I will have meetings that I will have to travel for a day of two for and I want Jake to be at home. Our home, the home that his mother, Tanya, and I built for him. Tanya, God I miss her. She was a wonderful wife, an exceptional mother, and she was also a drug addict, or so that's what the police told me. I still remember the phone call.

"Hello?"I had passed out. I was put on the same floor as my infant son. After 24 hours, we were both released. My mother, Esme, insisted that Jake and I come to their house for a couple of days. She also told me that she would make all the funeral arrangements and all I had to do was to take care of Jacob.

"Edward Cullen?"

"Yes, this is him."

"This is Police Chief Swan. Well ,um, there's been an accident, son."

"......Yes...?"

"Your wife and son were involved. She hit a patch of black ice and spun out and hit a tree head on."

"Oh God! Are they all right? Where are they?!"

"Your son's fine, carseat saved him. I'm not sure about your wife. They're at the hospital here in town. I suggest you hurry. I'm here with your son and your father is taking your wife up to surgery right now."

"Ok, thank you. I'll be there in ten minutes."

I hung up and just went blank. Jacob's all right, thank God. Tanya's not, oh God. I need her, we need her. I'm not really a religious man, but I was praying and making deals with God the whole way. Jake's only ten months old. He needs a mother, his own mother.

As I walked into the hospital, I could feel the stares. I could hear the whispers. My father is a renowed doctor and the fact that my mother wanted to move back to her hometown when we were young to raise us, gave this hospital and this town the best gift ever. My talented father, Carlisle Cullen.

If anyone could save my wife, it would be him.

As I made it up to the third floor, I saw Chief Swan. He was talking to Dad. My father's face was flush, and his eyes were rimmed red.

Please just let him be tired, God.

"Edward, son...."

"Where's Jake, dad?"

"He's fine. He's up on the next floor with your mother. I wanted to keep him overnight to make sure that he's ok."

"And Tanya.....?"

"Son....(sigh)... I'm so sorry. She wasn't wearing her seatbelt and she was thrown through the windsheild. She had massive...."

But I couldn't hear him. Everything went blank. I knew my father was talking to me, I could see his lips moving, but I couldn't hear him. Why is he getting taller? What's happening? Why are all these people around me?

The only problem was is that I couldn't even do that. Everything that dealt with Jacob was Tanya's job. I worked 60 plus hours a week so she could stay at home with him. He was asleep when I left in the morning and asleep when I got home at night. Once a week he and Tanya would come up to the office for lunch, and he was usually asleep then too.

It wasn't until the toxocology report came back that my wife was addicted to pain killers. She was prescribed those after her c-section, and she was also breastfeeding my son. My son had become an addict too.

Luckly Carlisle knows a lot of pedatritians and they were able to do a rapid detox on my son. Carlisle assured me that Jake would be fine and pull through. He did, thank God.

I was able to take time off work to grieve for my wife. I was able to afford hiring someone to come to our home and take care of him while I worked, but I had become so overprotective of him after everything that all the nanny's seemed to quit after a month or two. So I had just recieved the fourth one's two week notice today and began the gruling process of trying to find a live in nanny, who can follow my strict guidelines.