A/N: So, here's the first chapter of my Kirk/Uhura story "Serendipity". It's not a very popular pairing to my puzzlement, but it tugs at my shipping strings hard. It will alternate POVs between Jim & Nyota. It's both a friendship and romance story with all the crew present and accounted for. Anyway, I hope you give it a chance and like it! I will try to update once a week, like with my other story Echoes.

~Nadiea

Disclaimer: 'Star Trek' and its existing characters are the property of Paramount/CBS. I only claim my original characters, TBA.

Chapter One - Observation Deck

I don't know how it became such a necessity.

Meeting James T. Kirk, the captain of the Enterprise and my one-time nemesis, on the Observation Deck after hours.

Not for anything elicit.

We spent the time simply talking as we viewed the starry atmosphere of space. It started about three months after we finally left on our first five-year mission. That first time, I couldn't sleep and decided to visit the O.D. with my padd to catch up on some recreational reading if I couldn't rest. I stumbled upon Jim, lying on the floor on his back, whistling while he tapped on his own padd. As I got closer, I could see that he was doing differential equations. For fun. It wasn't the first time Jim Kirk surprised me, and probably not the last, but it was the first time I realized that I really wanted to get to know this man under who I would serve for the next five years.

So I remember asking him if 'this deck was taken' and after his blue eyes met mine in sheepish shock, he smiled and patted the space next to him. And the rest is history...

"So, I think I might actually have to say something to Sulu and Chekov about this betting ring they've got going," Jim stated as he lay back next to me, using his arms as a pillow.

I smiled as I turned on my side to view his profile. His dirty blonde hair was short and unruly, his eyes meeting mine with their familiar twinkle. "Someone finally threatening to kill them?"

He nodded with a laugh. "Lieutenant Hayes and Ensign Thomas. Thomas says they were betting on how long it would take Hayes to finally ask her out. Unfortunately, they did it within hearing range of said ensign."

I laughed as well, thinking of Hikaru and Pavel's propensity to create drama on the ship on their off time. As if having James as our captain didn't create enough thrilling and precarious situations while on duty. We'd been in space now for a year and were approaching the Star Base 25, near New Vulcan. This mission held a dual purpose as serving both as providing supplies to the star base and New Vulcan as well as an opportunity for a much-needed shore leave.

"You okay?" I looked up to find those very perceptive blue eyes focused on me with concern.

I knew what he was asking. In the aftermath of the destruction of Vulcan and the battle with Narada, instead of growing closer to Spock, we'd actually grown apart. While on Earth those next six months, Spock had immersed himself in his work and his remaining free time went to his father and the Vulcan elders. I understood, initially. I knew he needed space to comprehend such a devastating loss of both his mother and planet, but as the months went by without any contact, I realized I had to know where I stood with him.

-Flashback-

I found him in his old office on campus, going over information his pad. I knocked on the open door. He looked up at me, his pale face with its usual neutral expression. Before, I could always read some emotion, however slight, in his eyes. But not now. He'd always struggled between his two halves, but instead of bringing out his human side, I could see that the tragedy he'd experienced made him choose even more firmly to follow the Vulcan way. Even though I guess at his answer, I wanted to hear it from his own lips.

"Yes, how may I assist you Lieutenant Uhura?" He asked politely.

I stepped into the room and quietly closed the door behind me and moved forward to sit in one of chairs in front of his desk. Spock raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"Spock," I began uncertainly at first, unable to stop myself from searching his face for something to make me hope that this conversation would turn out positively. "I know you've been busy, but the Enterprise is due to leave in two weeks and I know you still haven't accepted the offer of First Officer."

I saw something flicker in his brown eyes before it disappeared just as quickly. He looked down at his pad for a moment and then back at me. "You deserve an explanation, of course. I have attempted to arrive at a solution that is satisfactory to me in regarding my duty to both Starfleet as well as the Vulcan species under the circumstances. In my meditations, I have found a way to accept what happened. However, I am still undecided as to where my future lies." He paused. "I know what you want from me is something I am not capable at this time of giving you. As much as I care for you and have enjoyed our time together, I cannot forgo my Vulcan heritage."

I remembered frowning at this. "I'm not asking you to, Spock."

He nodded quietly. "I know you would never ask it of me directly, but my father has asked me to at least reconsider the Vulcan way and I have agreed. Whether it is on the colony or serving on the Enterprise. In order to do so, I need solicitude. I would like your friendship still, but I cannot offer anything more with certainty."

I almost argued with him, but I saw the silent determination in his eyes and realized that as difficult as relationships were, they shouldn't be this difficult. Looking back on our time together, I could admit that I initiated any and all romantic contact between us. I did all the work, and being the enlightened woman I am, I enjoyed giving chase to this mysterious and fascinating man. But that did not make a relationship work. I could not in good conscience try and talk Spock out of respecting his culture and the wishes of his father, not when I suspected that he was relieved in some ways to end our romantic ties.

And I knew as well that I did want more than what he could give me. After facing death and witnessing the death of my classmates and friends as well as billions of Vulcans, I knew I wanted to live my life without restraint. I wanted to love without restraint as well. I didn't want to have to measure every word or action and be the one to carry the emotional burden of the relationship. His mystery and seriousness, so appealing in my relative innocence, were now less so as I imagined the constant battle to get him to express his feelings to me.

I did not want to put him through it nor myself.

"I understand, Spock," I said after a moment and I found that I truly did. "And I would like to continue our friendship as well. I just hope you still choose to serve on the Enterprise. I think you and Kirk would make a good team as captain and first officer."

I watched as some of the tension drained out of him at my calm acceptance of his decision. "Indeed, I am considering the benefits of serving with Kirk, even though his unorthodox methods are still illogical."

-End Flashback-

As it turned out, Spock did accept the offered position. The first couple of months interacting with him were awkward. For me, at least. I could no longer tell much about Spock's feelings. What little headway I'd made when we were dating, he'd revoked somewhat, returning to his previous cool, but polite detachment.

We were able to cobble together a friendship after a few rocky attempts and it's a testament to our new comfort level with each other that Spock calmly told me two weeks ago over dinner that he would take his shore leave on New Vulcan in order to meet T'Pring, his pre-chosen bondmate from childhood who had survived Vulcan's destruction, in order to decided whether they would honor the arrangement agreed upon by their parents. I can't say I was exactly happy to hear this, but it didn't hurt as much I thought it would to hear that he had moved on to someone else.

I sighed and met Jim's gaze. "I'm fine. It's not unexpected. He did say he was reconsidering the Vulcan way of life and this is part of that. I just want him to find some happiness."

"He seems more pragmatic to me than happy," Jim observed.

"He's talked to you about it?" I asked with interest. I knew that Jim and Spock, despite their almost daily disagreements on the bridge, were becoming friends of a sort. They held their weekly meetings over a game of chess of all things.

"Well, more like I brought it up and prodded his "thoughts" on it from him. Not feelings of course, that's illogical!" Jim said with a shake of his head. "He went through the spiel of honoring the bondmate agreement as a logical way of aiding the Vulcan race."

I nodded and looked at my clasped hands for a moment and blew a short breath. "That's what he said to me when he told me about it as well. He...he also said that he thought that a union between himself and a Vulcan had a better chance of success than with a human."

Jim looked at me in disbelief. "And you didn't punch him?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, he didn't say it an offensive way. And it's probably true. I'm not gonna lie, though. I would have been willing to try and make it work if he'd wanted to as well. But, that's not how it worked out."

Jim smiled and seemed to consider my words as he returned his attention to the view. "Well, unfortunately, I don't have any wise sentiments to offer beyond what you've already said. I'm not big on the relationship thing for this very reason."

I continued to study him, something I'd wondered over the last few months since we'd actually become friends nagging my mind. I suddenly felt brave enough to ask him. "Jim...why were you so drunk at the bar the night we first met?" At first, I didn't think he would answer, he continued to stare at the stars, his expression enigmatic.

"Why not?" He finally replied, still not looking at me. "My life was a mess at that point. Some of that was my choice, the rest is not worth talking about." He glanced at me, a slight lift of the corner of his mouth to take the edge off his reticence. "I never apologized to you for that, but I'm sorry."

I toyed with the bun I'd put my hair in as I thought about that night. "Apology accepted only if you accept mine. I should have immediately gone out and found Pike once those guys start in on you. It was not a fair fight, no matter your inane comments beforehand. I'm amazed you survived it, honestly."

Jim smiled a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "That was nothing."

Something about the comment made me want to push him further on this. "What about at the Academy? I mean, no you're not the only cadet, male or female obviously, that slept around, but you never met anyone that you truly liked enough to..."

"...stop dicking around, excuse the language?" He finished for her. "No, like I said, the only relationship I'll likely find myself in is with this ship and that's actually okay with me. I know everyone's supposed to want to find a soulmate, but I think that it's ridiculous to expect someone else to make you happy. People will always disappoint you, if you stay around someone long enough. They'll hurt you, you won't live up to their expectations, they'll leave, etc. It sounds harsh, but I can only say that I learned it by personal experience. And look at Bones, I mean he's better than he used to be, but that bitch of an ex of his messed him up real bad. And then there's you and Spock. Even though you managed the most 'amicable break-up ever', not surprising of course, it still sucks."

Even though he kept his tone light, I could hear the bitterness in his words. That part of me that still wants to view him as an annoying smart-ass would rather ignore it. The part of me that knows him better now feels alarmed that someone so young could be that jaded already. "It does still suck," I admit. "But I wouldn't change having had a relationship with him just because it didn't work out. Remember Alfred Lord Tennyson: "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'?"

Jim rolled his eyes comically. "To each his or her own, I guess," he replied good naturedly. "But enough of this serious talk!" He sat up and reached for the deck of cards near his PADD. "Poker?"

I nodded and sat up with him. As he dealt the cards with his usual over-the-top flourishes, it only then occurred to me that Winona Kirk would know the meaning of my favorite quote all too well.

And in my mind's eye, I could see a little Jim Kirk, having never known or gotten a chance to love his father, while feeling his loss all the same.

Sometimes I wonder at my own obliviousness.

When I got back to my quarters, well after midnight Earth time, instead of going to sleep, I went to my terminal and brought up as much as I could on George and Winona Kirk and the Kelvin as I could find. I'd avoided doing this for some time, telling myself that it was unusual enough that I had these late night meetings with the captain of my ship, without compounding it by looking into his past. As our conversations usually focused on general topics, not the heavy territory we'd ventured into tonight, I'd been successful in resisting any urges to snoop into Jim's family history. I knew the general story, everyone did, but now I wanted the specifics.

As I read about George Kirk's heroic and heartbreaking final seconds, I told myself that I wasn't going to try and analyze Jim and fit him into a box labeled: damaged goods due to childhood trauma. It was a tendency of mine to want to identify problems and fix them. Which is great when it's a diplomatic misunderstanding between two species, but not so successful when it's an actual person. I'd tried to 'fix' Spock's conflict between his human and Vulcan halves, but I know now that it was naive in the extreme to think that I could fix something only he could.

I know the same is true for Jim.

Then a particular image catches my eye. It's of Winona Kirk disembarking from a shuttle with a baby Jim in her arms. She's surrounded by the media and the look in her eyes is wild panic. And I see Jim's little arms flailing, his small mouth open in distress.

I stare at that image for a long time before I finally turn off the terminal and crawl into bed.

TBC...