THE DEAR L CHRISTMAS SPECIAL – THE NAUGHTY/NICE LIST

To All of You,

Who drank all the bloody sherry?
There shall be repercussions for who did!

L

Dear L,
I dunno. Was it yours? Hey, I didn't know you liked sherry!
I thought you didn't like it anymore after that time that you ate all those cherry chocolates.
Was I wrong?
Matsuda

To All of You,

It was supposed to be for Santa Claus! Now what am I supposed to give him?
I can't just give him only mince pies, he will think I forgot the sherry and might even throw me on the naughty-list!

L

Dear L,
You're originally from the UK, right?
Does everyone there give Santa sherry and mince pies?
Matsuda

Dear L,

You actually still believe in Santa Claus?

Raito

Dear Raito(and others),

Of course I believe in someone who is scientifically proven to be real.

L

Dear L,
We just give him milk and mochi here.
Matsuda

Dear L,

You can't really believe in Santa Claus!
I mean. You're a detective, surely you must realise that logic prevents a jolly bearded fat guy from sliding down chimneys to give billions of children gifts in only one night? It is impossible.

Raito

Dear Raito,

Nothing is impossible. You of all people should know, Kira!
He exists, believe me.

L

Dear L,

I AM NOT KIRA!

Raito

Dear Watari,

What's up with L and his fascination with Santa Claus.
Is L for real?

Raito

Dear Watari,
Do you have some sherry for L?
He seems to have misplaced it.
Matsuda

Dear Raito and Matsuda,

This is all my fault. When L was six and still at the orphanage, I hired an actor to come bring the presents at night. I thought this was to be the best thing, for even as a child he was very curious and logical. When he fist saw the actor, he immediately thought him to be a fake. He tried to pull the man's beard off, to prove it was fake, and when he realized that one was real, he punched the poor man in the stomach to show it was a fake tummy.

It was not.

L was rather subdued and silent when he was taken away from the poor man and, I am unfortunate to say, he received a piece of coal in his sock the day after. This was thought to be reasonable punishment by the caretaker, just to teach L not to simply attack people, but ask questions first.

This has caused a phobia and he's been rather good after that, so not to receive another coal.

Watari

Dear Watari,
Poor L.
Wait, L is an orphan?
Matsuda

Dear Watari,

Are you for real?
And you've never told him?

Raito

Dear Raito and Matsuda,

I tried, but he wouldn't believe me.
And please Raito, I know how you and L have been trying to get the better hand on each other lately, but don't try to joke with him about this.

Watari

Dear Watari,

Now why would I do that?

Raito

Dear L,
I'm going to see if I can buy you some sherry! There must be a convenience store nearby who does.
I'll just try! And maybe Santa will be extra happy if he also gets milk and mochi!
That way he can choose what he wants to eat and drink.
Matsuda

Dear Matsuda,

That is a good idea!

L

Dear L,

Now L, just indulge me. What kind of scientific proof is there that Santa Claus is indeed real?
I'm not mocking you, I'm just curious about your evidence .

Raito

Dear Raito,

Oh, I would never expect you to mock me. You are my friend, aren't you?
It would only be an evil fiend like Kira who would do something like that. But you are, of course, not him.

Facts:

1. NORAD sled tracking, where you can see where Santa Claus is at the moment.
2. Letters are addressed to Santa at the North Pole, Alaska
3. Letters received by Santa have postmarks from the North Pole, Alaska.
4. children worldwide receive presents. And this is where the interesting part starts. Parents buy gifts too, so that the foot of the Christmas tree doesn't seem too bare, but Santa gives every child a gift. So one of those gifts is indeed from him, while the others are fake Christmas gifts and bought by parents.

L

Dear L,

I have never received a gift from Santa or anyone at Christmas.

Raito

Dear Raito,

I cannot claim you were a naughty child, since I have nearly no information about you at that age.
So it must be that you are not Christian.

L

Dear L,

Are you suggesting that only Christians get gifts?

Raito

Dear Raito,

Only if they believe in Santa too.
If they don't, then Santa wont give a danm. Less work for him.

L

Dear L,

And if I believed he actually existed.
And was a naughty boy, I would receive coal in my socks?

Raito

Dear Raito,

Yes.

L

Dear L

Why?

Raito

Dear Raito,

It is a synonym for a heart as coal.
If you are a naughty person and you do naughty deeds, those deeds will be reflected on your heart.

Turning it black, like Kira's. Thus black coal.

L

Dear L,

Now tell me this, why do some children get Nintendo's and such from Santa, while others only get small, cheap stuff. Surely that has nothing to do with amount of niceness? Isn't that a bit mean? Does Santa Claus believe in an eye for an eye? How can he judge what is wrong and right.

Raito

Dear Raito,

Re-read point 4 of my explanation please.
And besides that, it has to do with what Santa believes you need, not what you think you desire.

L

Dear L,

I don't believe it.

Raito

Dear Raito,

Just like I don't believe you are not Kira.

L

Dear Mr Claus,

Every time I am astonished by how eager people are to believe in something.
Even if it is believing that something doesn't exist. I suppose it makes your job easier.
By the way, just out of curiosity, is Yagami Raito on your naughty-list?
Sincerely,

L

Dear L,

The naughty/nice lists are confidential, just like you know.

And how many times do I have to tell you to call me Santa?

Sincerely,
Santa

Dear Santa,

I can always try, right?
By the way, you should give Matsuda an extra nice gift this year. Oh and I shall come visit you in the new year, when the rush of the festive celebrations are over. I'd love some chocolate milk with your famous marshmallows. And I believe I still owe you a game of Twister. You beat me too badly last time, I demand a rematch!

Sincerely,

L

Dear L,

And you shall get one!
Oh L, not long from now, I'll be leaving the North Pole for my long trip. Everyone here at the North Pole is very busy preparing for Christmas Eve and I am excited to begin my long journey.

I will soon be on my way to visit Wammy's house, though I know you are currently not there, and I will make sure the children have a Merry Christmas indeed. Although it's a long journey, I am looking forward to visiting you in Tokyo this year. I'll make sure to bring your friend Matsuda the gift he's needs.

I know that you have been trying to catch Kira this year, and I applaud your efforts. Being a detective sure is tough and you are such a remarkable lad. I wouldn't know what to do in your shoes.

You're welcome to come to the North Pole whenever it suits you, just make sureto dress warmly or you'll get the flu again. We don't want that happening now, do we?

Merry Christmas and Warmest Wishes!
Santa

VGJekyll: Monday 26 December 2011– So I was ill, on Christmas (and actually still am a little right now). That is actually why this one is late. My apologies, but I do hope everyone else had an awesome day. And Santa got me something I really needed: a keyboard for my tablet. Writing is gonna be so easy now.

MERRY (belated) CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!