Blinding white pain was searing Kay's shoulder as she came to. Groaning, she blearily opened her eyes to find herself sprawled across the table. A dull pounding drummed at her temples, and as she tried to move her mouth she discovered her face was crusted in what appeared to be her own blood.

"Fuck." She thought, not capable of much else.

Cautiously turning her head, she found her shoulder in a position that was not as natural as she would have hoped. She groaned again and turned her back to stare at the ceiling.

Every intake of breath killed her, ripping at her two broken ribs. Without having to look, Kay felt bruises forming all over her body.

"This is worse than when Scare…crow…"

A wave of despair thundered over her as she remembered that in all likely hood no one was coming for her.

An involuntary jump when the door behind her slammed open made her cry out in agony before she could clamp her mouth shut. She bit down on her swollen lip and winced.

"Welcome back to the real world, Toots." Came a not-so-welcome voice from the direction her head was laying on the table.

"Glad to be here." She rasped back, struggling with all her might to put her usual level of sarcasm into her voice.

In return Steve laughed snidely. "Still got enough left in you to be a smartass bitch, eh? Maybe Robbie didn't go atcha hard enough. Should he, ah, try again, perhaps? Huh?"

Kay winced again as his rancid breath blew over her face and proceeded to mount an attack set to burn the nose hairs right out of her nostrils.

"Jesus H. Christ on a fucking cracker, what the hell does this guy eat? And has he ever used a fuckin' tooth brush?" Kay gasped in her mind, fighting not to breath in.

She lifted her unswollen eye, letting the other one stay blissfully closed, to see Steve's unshaven, grimy, face leering over her, the fuzz on his teeth growing quite contently and undisturbed. A small piece of something green had nested in between his top front teeth.

Kay was so in shock over his apparent boycott of oral hygiene she could only blink and continue her valiant attempt to save her nose hairs from total annihilation.

He was opening his mouth to spew more threatening nonsense when he jerked forwards and a bloody, gaping hole exploded into existence, his forehead almost as ruined as Kay's nose hairs.

Kay shrieked in alarm as his brain matter made acquaintance with her face and his fresh, warm blood flowed out onto her shirt, joining her own dried blood.

Steve slumped onto her, his face resting directly on her stomach. His mouth was open and it felt as if he was trying to suck in her stomach. Still screaming, Kay batted his at his blood-matted head and knocked him to the ground. A few bits of brain oozed out when his head hit the concrete of the warehouse floor.

Ignoring the blindingly painful protests of her ribs and shoulder, Kay wrenched her body into a sitting position. Her vision went black and stayed that way for a few moments, the blood rushing from her head. As it came back, the blotchy black stuff eating its way to the middle of her eyes until it was gone, she took in an array of strange colors and patterns,

"Purple. Who wears purple? No one wears purple. Purple is not a color people wear,"

tangled green hair,

"God, my brain is so fuzzy this is someone important who is it I know who it is oh God, so fuzzy, I know him. Crane? No, no, so fuzzy, so fuzzy, who is it?"

As the last of the black cleared from her eyes, she was confronted with the white, black, and red all over,

"Haha, get the joke, folks?"

maniacally grinning face of Gotham City's Clown Prince of Crime, the Grinning Devil, the Eternally Smiling Mastermind.

"That's right folks, lil' ol' Kay Chapman has just bee saved by non over than Gotham's most feared criminal, the great Joker, himself. The story tonight at seven." Kay thought crazily as terror gripped her insides like a cold fist.

As her eyes passed over his teeth, she noticed that they looked decently well taken care of. She nearly breathed a sigh of relief.

She swallowed to keep the insane giggling down where it belonged.

Lifting her eyes slowly, she looked into the swirling black depths of the Joker's eyes. He grinned back, the mask of hilarious ecstasy betraying no true emotion. Kay flinched as he lifted a finger to gesture to her face.

"You've, ah, got a lil' somethin' on your face there." He giggled a high pitch giggle, crossing his arms.

He smirked down at her as she lifted a hand to feel that the entire right side of her face was encrusted with blood.

"Ah, worse than I imagined. Is it okay to bleed that much?" She thought.

"No, probably not." Her conscience whispered back, "That's why you're so weak right now. Remember science class, Darling? It wasn't so long ago."

No. It wasn't, was it? A week ago her life had been normal (as normal as it could be when you were bullied at school and had an abusive mother.)She had gone to school, gotten picked on, excelled in class, gone home, may or may not have eaten dinner, done her homework, and gotten into bed to it again the next day. Now, she was sitting on a table in an empty warehouse with a dislocated shoulder, two broken ribs, blood and brain matter splattered all over her, and actually wishing she was back with one of the most dangerous men in Gotham, talking to the goddamn, ever-lovin', mother fuckin', JOKER.

She clenched her eyes shut as this washed over her. But she was too beaten down, too tired to get angry.

Opening her eyes, she looked down at Steve.

In a more clear voice than before, she intoned, "Thanks for shooting him."She gestured to Steven's crumpled form with a nod of her head.

The Joker threw his back and cackled gleefully. "Th-thanks for shooting him? AHAHAHAHAAA! You're a riot, girlie! HA!" His ever-present grin grew wider. "I like you. Now I see why Jonny-cakes keeps you around. Though, ah, not exactly what I'd call girlfriend material."

He picked up a lock of Kay's sticky, blood covered hair with two pinched fingers, making a face as he did so.

Ignoring the surge of annoyance, Kay thought, "Why, oh why, oh why does the ever so delightful criminal element of Gotham have such an affinity for me? Fuck my life."

And then, it occurred to her, "Girlfriend material?" She snorted. "I'm not Crane's girlfriend."

He laughed jovially.

"Rather Santa Claus like, really. A deranged, evil, homicidal Santa, sure. But still Santa." Kay thought dryly.

"'Course not, 'Course not." He assured her, whacking her on the back with each phrase.

She bit her lip to hold in the agonized yell that threatened to leap from her throat.

"That's the same thing Jonny said. Not that I believe him, or you for that matter. I'm glad he's finally gettin' some."

He grinned devilishly and whacked Kay on the back again as she started to protest.

"Crane's not one to care about his experiments. You must be somethin', ah, pretty special, Honey cakes." He smacked his lips. "He's really worried about you, ya know." He said in a hushed tone that implied confidentiality, even though there was no one around.

Something in Kay's bruised face brightened. "Crane was… worried about me?" She asked slowly, not certain she had heard right.

He raised an eyebrow, shaking his shaggy green hair back from his face. A small smile never left his face.

Kay found her eyes tracking the intricate scars that hooked grotesquely from each side of his mouth. Almost as an after thought, Kay lifted her hand to the ropey almost-scar that extended down her jaw line, tracing it gently with one finger.

There were still plenty of scabs left, and the day's beating had only managed to re-open them. But parts of it were healed over, the white twisted flesh rising just above the normal surface of her skin.

The vaguely confused expression left his face in a blank and was replaced with a dangerous curiosity. "You've got scars too?" He exclaimed joyfully, gesturing wildly with his hands.

Kay nodded sullenly, worried about his sudden interest in her body and the potentially dangerous side affects his interest might have. "He's the fucking Joker, for God's sake." She thought bitterly. "Whether Crane asked him to come get or not, he's still fucking crazy. I have a right to be worried about my wellbeing. Not that my wellbeing is kind of a joke right now or anything."

One look at his eyes confirmed her thoughts. Giddy madness swirled in the dark pools. They absorbed all light into a deep hole that served as a factory for madness that cranked day in and day out. But behind it was a flash of cold, lucid intelligence.

"Not only is he crazy, he knows it." Kay thought with a sudden growing terror, one that grew around the dull, pulsing terror that was already there like a tumor.

"Jesus Christ, he knows what he's doing. He knows what he's doing and he loves it. No plan, pssh. He has a plan. His plan is to be as mad as he can manage, to destroy the world and dance on it's fiery grave. He wants to let the flames of the ashes of sanity lick up his legs and burn into his flesh, leaving a permanent reminder of all he destroyed. All that would be left of humanity, of sanity, of human decency, would be a hollow shell, so fragile it would be shattered with the slightest of breezes, if he had his way. It's not the jumbled, incoherent mess everyone thinks it is. He is the craziest person on this earth, and his one desire is to take it all in his hands and rip it to shreds. He organized chaos."

Kay shuddered involuntarily as all this came to her in a flash of his eyes. She was in awe of the magnitude, the depth, the clarity of chaos that was the Joker's madness.

But instead of letting this moment of pure understand reflect on her face, Kay nodded again and said, "It was a gift from Scarecrow." She snorted. "He's a real gentleman, as I'm sure you know."

Joker chuckled into her ear as he examined the scar, his nose almost close enough to touch her face. He tilted her head with the prompting of one finger pushing up on her jaw.

"Woooowie, Honey cakes, that's a scar for the books." He cackled, his breath wafting into Kay's ear.

Straightening up, he brought his watch up to eye-level with an extravagant gesture. "Well, we should be going, Dear-heart. It's almost time to meet the good doctor at the, ah, appointed meeting place. Shall we?" He said in an official voice, his tongue darting across his lips nervously.

Kay nodded to herself and started to push herself up from the table. She stumbled a little as she stepped down onto her weak knees.

The Joker caught her elbow neatly and held her up, ignoring the little shriek she gave when he touched her.

"Careful, Darling, Jonny'll have my balls if I don't get you back in one piece. Not that, haha, he would be able to tell in your condition." He giggled lowly, manic glee dancing across his face.

Kay all of a sudden did not feel quite as safe with him, if she had ever felt safe to begin with. Slowly, she started forwards again.

After a few steps she could feel her knees getting used to the motion of walking. She breathed in relief and her heart finally slowed down, right before her breathing hitched and her heart raced as her feet was swept out from underneath her and she plummeted to the ground.

Pressing her lips together until they were white, Kay shakily and slowly pressed her self up onto all fours, babying her injured shoulder and clutching her ribs.

"Hmph." She heard from above her.

Raising her head a fraction at a time, she glared up at the painted face.

"Hmph." He repeated. "Not even a groan. How disappointing. Yer a toughie, Chapman."

Kay rolled her eyes and spat out, "Who the fuck do you think I live with? Fucking Care Bears? Scarecrow's one sadistic sunuvabitch." The venom in her voice caused a smile to twitch onto the Joker's face.

"It's always good to see another of Gotham's youth corrupted in the ways of violence and foul language." He leaned down to grasp her arm again, but she batted him away with a wave of her arm.

Tensing herself for a blow (and dreading it oh God she was in so much pain already oh dear Jesus) she was surprised to see him just shrug and straighten up.

Warily, she lifted herself to her feet, her eyes trained on him the whole time. He tongue did a nervous dance around the painted stained corners of his mouth, toying with the vicious scars, but he made no move to touch her.

Upon observing that Kay was once again standing, he took off across the warehouse floor, his long, purple-clad legs taking longer strides than Kay was capable of keeping up with.

He was waiting impatiently by the door as she limped up, tapping his foot and looking at his watch in an exaggerated motion. He rolled his head around, cracking his neck, and gave Kay a predator's smile.

"Guess what, Girlie-girl?" He exclaimed with mock joyfulness.

Kay raised an eyebrow in response.

"I think we've got company. Isn't that nice? We're so popular, aren't we, Honey?"

He ignored the are-you-insane-oh-wait-yes-you-are look Kay gave him and smoothly flicked his wrist, causing a blade to slide out. His other hand drifted behind his back, where Kay saw for the first time he had tucked his gun into his garish pants. His fingers drummed lightly as he hummed a little tune, nothing Kay recognized.

"Yup, yup, yup. Mr. Maroni seems to like you, yes he does. Yup, yup, yup." He hummed, mostly to himself, smacking as he sang. "Three, two, one…" He whispered before yelling, "GO!" and sliding out the door.

Kay shuddered in surprise and leaned forwards to watch the fight out of the miniature window in the door.

The Joker's lean body moved fluidly, fluent in the ways of combat. His agility was not apparent until battle, when it, combined with his ruthlessness and apparent entire lack of fear, was a crushing surprise to the enemy.

The fight was over quickly, leaving the Joker standing alone, covered in blood and not a scratch on his body. He turned his head to see Kay peeking out of the window and gestured for her to come outside.

Kay obliged swiftly.

"Get in the car." He said gruffly, gesturing to a large white van.

Kay nodded and limped over, swinging herself into the front seat. The Joker hopped into the driver's side, the blood splattered on his face not seeming to bother him.

"Okay, let's go. Don't want Jonny to lose faith in my abilities, and, ah, get worried, now, do we?"

Kay shook her head silently. She shuddered but contained her nausea as the van rolled over a lump to large to be anything but a body.

The car ride to meet Crane was silent save for Joker's spurts of songs that he seemed to make up on the spot, and his fits of giggling.

At one point he leaned up against the window and waved at the lady in the car next to them, his fingers moving separately. He cackled at her obvious terror and sped off.

His driving absolutely terrified the already mentally abused Kay.

"I really should be crazy by now. Ooooh my God, he's going to hit something."

Her fingers clutched the edges of her seated and she blessed the person who created seat belts with all her might. At last they pulled down a street with warehouses on either side.

The moment the engine cut off Kay was stumbling out of the car and taking deep gulps of fresh air. Running a hand down her face she let out a long sigh.

When she looked up she caught a long, purple clad leg disappearing into the wear house. She stared for a second before rolling her eyes and limping after him.

There was only so much giggling, made up children's songs, and spurts of violence that Kay could handle in short periods of time. She had long ago decided that she actually would go crazy if the Joker sang one more insane song.

There had been one about her scar, one about how skinny she was, a few about decapitating people, and one involving an old man living in a shoe and some mice.

Every time he'd turn his back to her, Kay rolled her eyes at him from her seat on the floor. It gave her a nice, lulling sense of rebellion and risk.

After a while the adrenaline stopped pumping into her stomach and left it roaring for food. Ignoring this, she tried to stop her eyes from drifting downwards of their own accord. Periodically she'd jerk herself awake, leaving her in a dream world haze that made reality false and the imaginary real.

What really jerked her out of dream world finally was the frightening yell of,

"HEEERE'S JOHNNY!"

that erupted from the Joker as the wear house door slid open.

Raising her eyes slowly, relief trickled into her stomach; slowly building up until every atom of her body tingled with it.

Crane's sharp blue eyes stared at her from across the wear house, his slender hand just barely resting on the doorframe. Behind him stood Kealy, shifting and nervous as ever. His eyes lit up as they found her thin frame resting against the wall.

Crane's first step echoed in her ears.

They sped up the closer they got to Kay. Her sepia eyes followed him all the way until he was kneeling by her, hands floating across her shoulders in an attempt to touch her without causing pain.

"Hey, Asshole. Good to see you." Kay gave a half-smile, to tired to even contemplate a full one.

She did manage to widen her eyes when Crane smiled back.

"Hey." He said quietly. "You look like shit."

She shrugged and winced. "That's because I feel like shit."

He chuckled, his hand finally coming to rest on her good shoulder. They both leapt when the Joker's booming voice came from in front of them.

"Hate to break up the, ah, lovefest," His tongue darted across his lower lip, "But I'm off."

Crane nodded, his eyes clouding over to his business look. "Okay. Thanks for your help, Joker."

The gaudy man grinned and winked. "Jonny-cakes, look at what getting' a girlfriend does for you! You're even polite now."

Before either of them could protest his claims, he turned to Kay, his purple coat blurring a bit in her vision as he moved, and pointed at her.

"See you around, Sweetie. It's been, ah… fun."

His maniacal laughter drifted in the air for a long moment after he was gone.

"Crane?" Kay asked after a second, glancing up at him. "Can we go home?"

His only response was a tiny nod and an offer of a hand to help her up. Kay bit her lip to hold in the groans of pain. Hobbling across to the door, Crane's arm rested lightly around her waist, providing the stability and strength Kay was severely lacking.

"Any other time I'd be freaking out he was even touching me. He's got his fucking arm around my waist… and I really don't care. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that I'm glad it's there. I'd be falling over otherwise."

Kealy and Crane flanked her all the way to car.

"You're hovering like protective parents." Kay teased, eliciting a small chuckle from both of them.

Kealy hopped into the front seat, humming. Kay slid into the back and decided to ignore the surprise she felt when Crane slid in next to her.

Her prayers to the seat belt gods were forgone this car ride, replaced by large yawns and slumping down in her seat as far as her cracked ribs would let her.

"God, I'm tired." Her eyes finally slipped all the way closed.

"Why didn't you go to sleep while you were waiting for us?"

She yawned again before answering. "Didn't trust that bastard not to do something. Now lemme sleep."

Crane was glad she couldn't see the foolish smile that slid across his face for a fleeting moment of no self-control.

"Jonny, Jonny, Jonny. What ever shall I do with you?" Scarecrow intoned, his usual venom very much present.

"I'm just glad she's back because Kealy was getting whiny and she cooked good food. Also, now we… er… I… can get back to my experiment." Scarecrow cackled.

"Sure, Jonny, sure. You know, I didn't say anything about you being glad she's back."

Jonathan was surprised to find that it was possible to glare at a person living inside your own head. Scarecrow just cackled away.

A soft pressure settled onto the side of his arm. In her sleep, Kay had slid down and fallen over so her head was resting against his.

Her features, while bruised, cut, and covered in crusty blood, were peaceful. One lone strand of hair floated across her face.

Hesitantly, gently, Crane reached out to tuck it behind her ear.

"What the fuck am I doing? What the hell have I done?" He shook his head at his own weakness. "It's my own fault. I should have killed her that first night. It's too late now. Maybe I could make Scarecrow do it…"

The pain that just that thought inflicted got rid of that option.

"Fuck my life."

But through the fog of self-hatred he lived in, a smile broke through.

"She trusts me."

A/N: OMFG YOU GUYS. I UPDATED. I'M SO PROUD OF MY SELF. But, I am simultaneously ashamed of myself for not updating for so long. SO. I would like to apologize again for not updating. I can barely express my thanks to my readers for sticking with me.

Also, please review! I hope you liked the chapter. I sure liked writing it! The Joker is my favorite character out of anything ever. First person to review gets a special treat! If you review first, you get to send me a line that I will have to include in the next chapter. It can be as ridiculous as you want. :)

Thanks so much for everything, dear readers!

Love,

ArchaicLover