Bouncing Around

A Psych/Supernatural Crossover Crack-Fic

Part Thirty Seven - Deleted Scenes For Your Enjoyment

'Meeting of the Minds'

"You're God?" The gruff trucker like person asked in a sarcastic tone.

Shawn just stared at him, before his mouth quirked into a smirk and he pulled his hot chocolate closer. "What? Am I not sexy enough for you?" Behind him was a muffled snort of laughter as he sipped the liquid.

'Hiring Policies'

"We should expand." Shawn stated as he walked into the office. "We totally need it if we're going to keep up with all the free-lance work and consultings."

Gus looked up from his stack of paperwork. "That would help, yeah, but who could help? They'd have to be psychic or something."

"Not necessarily." Shawn danced over to the other man with a grin. "I know how much you hate doing paperwork and finances, so I was thinking..." He slammed a folder of resumes on the table. "...we hire ourselves an accountant! Think about it. If we can foist some of this stuff off on a grunt you'll be able to do more at your day job."

The thought was appealing. Shawn had mentioned helping out with accounting but he wasn't very reliable about daily chores in business but most of the time he forgot things like forms and contracts! How could they get paid a decent amount if the price charges weren't agreed upon? He reached for the thin folder.

"What kind of name is Castiel?" He asked while reviewing the admittedly sparse resume form. It looked as if Shawn had written up. "And why do you have 'Being Badass' as a skill option?" He slipped it in back to look at the next one. "So this one can work a computer. Some college... she's not too bad. She could probably help with records and run triage."

"Nah. I was thinking she'd be more of a PR person. You should see her hair!"

'Better Than Nova'

"Okay. This is officially the absolute most boring dream. Ever." Shawn groused as he swam through a murky gray ether. "If this is what drinking gets me, I'll stick with smoothies and soda." He didn't know how long he was sleeping, probably just a few seconds, but it felt like a long time. Too much time with nothing but boring gray washed out surroundings.

Well then. If my subconscious has decided to go on strike I'll just have to encourage it. Shawn raised his arms and adopted his James Earl Jones voice. "In the beginning..."

Lightning flashed throughout the ether. Shawn shivered and watched as the nothing seemed to swirl in on itself and harden. It was reforming, and with a thought Shawn dragged himself closer to the center of action. "Wow..." It was like he was watching the earth form. Magma spewed out of the ground, fell back in, and repeated the process. Water sprinkled down on the earth as gasses mixed and cooled the shifting lava. Mountains rose. Wind blew and grass spread at it's touch.

Animals crawled out of the mud, taking on distinctive shapes and colors as they spread across the globe.

Shawn watched it all, teleporting himself to various points, fascinated. There was so much detail! Maybe his mind was trying to make up for the long period of utter dullness at the start, because the level of clarity and trifle details he was seeing made the dream seem more like a memory. For a second he wondered at the feeling before filing it away in favor of watching two dinosaurs fight.

"Get him with your tail! Go for the femur! It's brittle!" The extinct creature, as if hearing him, immediately spun allowing it's mace-like tail to splinter the slower dinosaur's leg.

He was almost disappointed when he finally woke up up, now twenty-one and a day, on the floor of his motel room with a hangover and surrounded by chinese take-out and beer bottles.

'Nomenclature'

"So you beat Lucifer?"

"I smitted him." Shawn glanced at Gus. "Smitted? Smited? Smeeteed?"

"It's Smote. You smote him."

"That sounds nothing like smite..." He turned back to Sam. "But yeah. I smote Luci."

'Office Politics'

He doesn't do depressed. Can't. Never has been able to. Faced with certain death, he laughs and cries and the incredulity of it all. The gun is pointed in his face and he watches the eyes on the woman go black as she laughs. "Heard from a source you're the key to finding God." She cocks the hammer. "And we can't have that."

He grins in response because it's all so funny. Ironic. He reaches out with his senses and makes a quip about checking the local church, it is the man's house after all.

Shawn Spencer doesn't do depressed. When she tells him to die he laughs, assumes a serious expression, and answers her weapon with his own. "I would prefer not to." The bullet leaves the colt and makes for his heart and he watches it move through the air like a torpedo through water.

He walks out of the way, to the fridge, and retrieves a soda. The bullet continues on it's path and he knows that they'll have to order yet another window. Which in it's own way is pretty funny and he sits down to really look at the woman who had just threatened him.

The world is going to hell in a hand basket, but it doesn't bother him. He doesn't do depressed, broody, angsting, or guilt. He can't even muster up disgust when He see's the true, twisted, form of the demon in the poor girl's body. He made them both.

And when they say it's a face only a mother could love, that goes for fathers too.

The window cracks and the demon scowls, head spinning to focus back on him. Shawn sips at his drink. She takes aim again this time muttering a binding spell. He rolls his eyes.

He doesn't do depressed, but He can manage annoyed.

'Healing Talks'

Shawn picked at his bandages absently as Gus continued his nut-shelling rant. He looked up and tilted his head slightly. Taking advantage of a pause as Gus took a breath he asked, "Does this mean you'll go streaking with me, now?"

The other man's mouth fell open, shocked, before his train of thought jumped tracks. "No! I am not streaking with you, I am not streaking period. And even if I were, it would be with a beautiful, buxom, blonde."

And thus the issue of Shawn being 'responsible' was dropped.

'Advice Column'

"Dean." Castiel called as he appeared in the den of one Bobby Singer. Dean startled but quickly regained his composure, sliding a bookmark into his lore tome as he did so, and smiled at the angel.

"Hey Cas." Dean was looking better, Castiel noticed with no small amount of pleasure, once Armageddon was dealt with all it took was a monsters head on a stick and he was happy again. Content. Dean was truly a simple creature. "What's with the change of clothes? I was starting to think that monkey suit was a part of you."

Castiel did not understand the phrase and like many of Deans quips it flew right over his head to be ignored. "I was wondering if you might assist me on my current mission."

The eldest Winchester frowned. "This isn't world threatening, is it?"

"No." Castiel shifted. "I am to come up with a name for our new home."

"...what?"

"We have been terra-forming a small moon in another star-system."

"You're making a new planet?"

"Moon."

"And you want me to name it?" Dean asked in slight confusion. He sat back against the couch and stared at the angel to give his friend a closer inspection. The trench coat was familiar, if made of a heavier and darker material, but that was where the similarities ended. He wore a gray-blue outfit that looked like some kind of armor with a sword belted to his hip. Overall, it reminded Dean of the traditional 'warrior angel' look.

Castiel was silent, which Dean knew meant he was measuring his words carefully. "There is precedent."

"Oh?"

"God had Adam name all the creatures of the Earth." The angel answered promptly.

"Huh." Dean grinned. How many people got to name a moon? Like, really name it, make so that all who lived or visited it would call it by his design. Song lyrics and band names blew through his mind and warped. He chuckled and stood up. Castiel probably wouldn't get it, but Sam would. Sam would probably be pissed when he found out. "Dude. Oz. You should totally call it Oz."

Castiel tasted the word. "Oz." He gave a polite nod. "Thank you, Dean." His head tilted. "My sister is calling me, I must assist them in a battle."

Dean heard more than saw his friend leave and wondered just what was going on with the heavens. Who were they fighting? Did Cas need any help? No. Stop right there Dean. They aren't fighting on Earth, that's something, and you should keep it that way.

"Confirmation"

It was a rumor going around the hunter circuit. God walked the earth, and had unleashed a holy ass kicking on Lucifer, thus averting the apocalypse. Some didn't believe the rumor or at least didn't believe that God did it. Some took it as a sign that what they fought for was worth it, that it wasn't a hopeless crusade. Some decided that since they were in the area they'd look into it. One of the rumors named names.

A trio of hunters, one of which had been resurrected along with several others that had died during the 'Winchester Fuck Up', sat in an old truck watching an office in California. Supposedly, it was an office for a physic detective. Supposedly, said detective was a Shawn Spencer that also happened to command the Hosts of Heaven.

A few polite inquires in local hangouts revealed that the general consensus among the natives was that Shawn Spencer was immature and nuts. But, they grudgingly admitted, he was very very good at his job, and his best friend/partner usually had enough good sense to keep things under control.

The hunters watched as a motorcyclist sped by their truck and hit the brakes, screeching to a halt before the building. As the cyclist -Spencer, the third hunter confirmed- took off his helmet and set on the handle a woman with long blonde hair held open the office door.

"No way." One of the hunters whispered. "She can't be..."

"Jake?"

"That woman. She was at the battle of Feildsburg. She was fighting the demons."

The hunters turned back to the office, belief slowly building. Perhaps there was some truth to those rumors after all.

End.

Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, and both. Thanks for coming with me on this adventure into ridiculousness, and if anyone would like to continue the adventures of God!Shawn, feel free. Just drop me a line because I would love to read about them.

-PM3