Prompt: "Life vests, they protect you from drowning. Bullet-proof vests protect you from being shot. And sweater vests protect you from pretty girls."

Canada and the Spontaneous Harem

Canada had dressed like England for most of his life, since the Conquest had taken him from France. He didn't really have a problem with that when he was young, didn't mind the clothes England wore, so long as he didn't freeze in the winter and could strip down layers in the heat of summer.

Unfortunately, Canada's habit of dressing like England seemed to have carried on into his independence and adulthood. When he wasn't wearing a suit or his favourite red bunnyhug, he could be found in a white long-sleeved shirt and sweater vest. It wasn't the most flattering sort of clothing he could wear, not at all, but he was comfortable wearing it and that was all that mattered.

"Maaatt," America called, "we're all getting together at Superior to have a barbeque!" Leave it to America to organize a party and tell Canada at the last second, in spite of the fact they were neighbours.

"Fine," he sighed, "I'm coming." He pushed his glasses up his nose and gathered what he would no doubt need and have to lend to other nations.

Oh well, at least America knew how to throw parties like the best of them. The barbecue on the shores of Lake Superior was going astoundingly well, with not just hamburgers ending up on the grill (although they admittedly dominated the space later on) and forms of amusement for numerous nations.

Things did get a little messy later in the evening, though. Prussia, drunk out of his mind and having the time of his life, got France to help him throw Austria into the lake. Hungary was quick to get both herself and Prussia into the water soon after, Prussia in revenge and herself in order to make the most of a bad situation. America seemed to think it was a good idea to throw other nations into the lake as well. He targeted Canada, who was having harmless fun with a few of the Asian nations who'd come along.

Hoisting Canada over his shoulder was easy. The twin kicked and fussed and generally made it hard for America to keep his grip, but was unable to wriggle away in time. America tossed him nearly sixty feet in and grinned broadly at his handiwork.

"Mon Dieu, you drowned Mathieu!" France accused, pointing a horrified finger at America and not seeing the disturbances on the surface of the water.

"Matt can swim fine," America replied easily, leaning forward to watch the vague shape under the surface draw closer and closer. The figure burst through the surface with a gasp.

"Do that again and I'll annex you," Canada told America as he walked back onto the shore. He looked soaked through and frustrated, but not especially drowned. Biting his lip angrily, the young man began to strip down as he made his way to the bonfire, already blazing. When his sweater vest came off he caught the attention of Seychelles, who had previously been talking as best as she could with Spain. When the shirt came off, too, the other female nations and a few male nations took notice. Canada had lived most of his life in the wilderness, and it showed.

Belgium slunk next to Canada and began asking him about what he thought about the hockey game that had been playing the night previous. Ukraine sat at his other side, blushing furiously and not looking at him at all (except when she snuck glances and turned even redder). Seychelles draped herself over his broad shoulders and set her head next to his. Taiwan pouted, sitting next to Belgium and not getting any attention at all.

Canada was turning redder and redder as he grew more and more certain that four of the eight female nations at the party were presently flirting or hoping to flirt with him. Oh dear. America was greatly amused.

"Huh," England said, watching his son get very stiff as the four girls got right up against him. Ukraine's hands had somehow ended up on his lap and she hadn't quite noticed yet. Canada had, though.

"What is it?" America asked, looking down at the other nation.

"Life vests, they protect you from drowning. Bullet-proof vests protect you from being shot. And sweater vests…"

"And sweater vests protect you from pretty girls," France said, draping an arm across England's shoulder and grinning broadly. "Isn't that right, mon amie?" At which point England told France to shut up and America took the moment to try and find his camera.

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A/N: Hardly a historical exploit, I know, but it seems like an appropriate name for a Canada-heavy oneshot collection.

Being silly can be fun sometimes~

Oh, I really don't mean to whine or anything, I really don't, but if you haven't checked out Who Has Seen the Wind yet and you're not morally opposed to a man and woman having sex, maybe you want to check it out? I actually really like it, for the prose aspect. My sex ain't that hot yet, unfortunately.