Hallo, Hallo, Hallo! It's been yonks, but I'm back and here's the next chapter! :)

Volderwhat?

Voldemort was quite surprised when he saw Big Ben. Obviously, he hadn't thought it would be called 'Big Ben' for nothing, but he hadn't expected it to be quite that big. He was sure he remembered it being...well, smaller.

'Oh, well.' he thought, 'the bigger the better, to be honest.'

Voldemort glanced furtively around before walking to the foot of Big Ben and beginning to scale the momentous clock. For a while, everything seemed to be going fine; no one appeared to have noticed him, and he was making good progress. But then it happened. Voldemort flushed a bright red when he realised. It was just not the sort of thing that should happen to a Dark Lord. It shouldn't happen to anyone, let alone him, but somehow, it was the sort of thing that just would happen to Voldemort.

Dark Lords should not suddenly find themselves desperate to go to the loo when they are climbing Big Ben.

Voldemort squirmed and looked down, immediately wishing he hadn't. Somehow, Voldemort, who had perfected the art of flying without a broom, felt decidedly queasy when he saw the tiny Londoners swarming around below him...Wait! He could fly! Voldemort beamed proudly to himself. He knew those self-help classes would help.

With supreme grace, Voldemort launched himself off Big Ben, waiting for the familiar soaring sensation that always came when he flew beautifully through the air. Instead, he felt a gut-wrenching sensation as he plummeted clumsily through the air. Voldemort suddenly realised that he had forgotten the spell that enable him to fly...now what was it? Suddenly, he had a flash of inspiration. He could remember Snape mentioning some muggle story, in which characters had to say, 'I do believe in fairies,' for something special to happen. He wasn't quite sure what but he thought he'd give it a try.

'I do believe in fairies!' bellowed Voldemort to the sky. Nothing heppened.

Oh well. I guess this is it...

'MUMMYYYYYYYYYYY!'

And suddenly, Voldemort was flying. Then he remembered; that had been his spell, all you had to do was say 'Mummy'...

And so it was that at half-past six on the seventh of April, 1996, London looked up to find a bald, robed figure painting something across the face of Big Ben, his legs strangely crossed as though he desperately needed to go to the loo...

It was only when he got down that Voldemort realised his mistake, 'OH MY GOD!' he yelled as the police closed in on him, 'OH MY GOD!'

'Hi Snape! Wussup?...No way...I'll kill him...Oh ma Gawd!...Yup? Oh, yeah...well, y'see, I'm in a bit of a state...'

'So why couldn't you apparate this time?' asked Snape wearily.

'I...' Voldemort blushed, 'I needed the loo, Sevy! I couldn't apparate like that!'

Snape groaned and rolled his eyes.

'Anyway, you said something went wrong with your little...escapade. What did you do?'

'Well...Oh, it was nothing much,' said Voldemort, waving his hand casually. He would never, ever, ever reveal to Snape that Big Ben now bore the legend, 'VOLDERSNORT RULEZZZZZZ.'

Did you like it? Wasn't my best, I feel, but it was OK. :)

Tabs :D