DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING. I HAVE NO RIGHTS OVER CHARACTERS OR THE SONG "LOST" BY FAITH HILL

Beta-ed by KEI KAT JONES (You are awesome)

Is it obvious to you
When you walk into a room
Your face is all I see
And my heart races so fast
I never knew a rush to feel like that
Every time you're touching me

I never did believe in anything
I couldn't hold between my fingers
But the way you make me feel
It's just so real the way it lingers

LPOV

No way in hell. What the fuck is Jacob doing knocking on my window at 2:30 in the morning? But there is something in his face. I can't pinpoint the emotion in his expression. Is he concerned? Confused? I don't know but he looks nervous. This is not going to be good. Different scenarios are already running through my head. Maybe the Italian bloodsuckers are back, or a secret unit of the government found out about the werewolves and they are taking us to Area 51 to do some experiment. Maybe…

"Leah I need to talk to you but I need you to listen and please don't say anything until I'm done."

Yeah, definitely bad. "What is it Black? And this better be good because its 2:30 in the morning and I was just finally falling asleep when you, my dearest Alpha, knocked on my window."

"I don't even know how to say this or where to start but…"

Honestly I was getting impatient already so I decided to give him a little help. "The beginning is a good place to start."

"Leah, please, no sarcasm this is really important ok. I've been thinking…"

"Oh the sky is falling my dear alpha was thinking. That must be a first. You finally discovered how to get your brain to function? Hooray!

"Leah, please. Can I continue now?"

"Sure sure"

"So I was thinking that everything happens for a reason, you know like Sam and Bella? We just don't always know why at the time and sometimes never learn either. That's the part that sucks but that's life and if it wasn't for that experience…"

Ok Bella? Sam? This is going to be a disaster because nothing good can come of those two. And honestly I don't want to discuss Jacob's feeling for some leech lover or any other random girl. I'm not in the mood for more tragedy. "Jacob we are friends. I'm your second-in-command but I don't hold a psychology or psychiatric degree under my belt and honestly I'm already mentally exhausted with my own stuff to add some more drama to it."

"Can you please shut your trap for a few minutes this is not just about me – it's about you too."

About me? Did he just tell me to 'shut my trap'? What the hell is wrong with him? Ok, just swallow your pride for a second Leah and let him talk the sooner he talks the sooner you can go back to sleep. "Sorry, I will try my best but you better get the show going or I will just fall asleep here."

Jacob rolls his eyes but then he continues on with the speech. "I will get straight to the point but remember that this is the way you want it I was planning this to go a lot differently."

"Yeah whatever Jacob just spill the beans."

I get lost inside your stare
Lost when you're not there
And everything I have
Doesn't mean a thing if it's without you
If it's a dream
Don't wake me up
I'll scream if this isn't love
If bein' lost means never knowin' how it feels without you
I wanna stay lost forever
I wanna stay lost forever.. with you.

"I was thinking of a conversation I had with Quil a while ago. I asked him why he didn't date other girls, you know, until Claire grows up. And he told me that he didn't see anyone that way. That he didn't notice girls anymore because he didn't see their faces."

"Do you want me to seduce him or something Black? I'm kind of lost here. What is so important about Quil dating girls?"

"Listen Clearwater if you just wait all of this will make sense but if you keep interrupting I will never get to the point. You need to understand that what I'm about to say it's not easy. It may sound crazy and I don't even know if telling you this will ruin our friendship and our relationship as Alpha and Beta. But my conversation with Quil is important because at the time I was so caught up in the Bella drama that I didn't see any other girl either - I didn't see their faces."

"I think that you need to get your eyes checked, Jake. Do you want me to go with you to the eye doctor?"

"Just forget it, Leah. You can't even be serious for once in your life."

"I'm sorry, Jacob. But please just get to the point. I will try my best to keep my mouth shut."

"The thing about that conversation Leah is that now I can see. I see YOU, Clearwater. I…me… I… wanted, that is…I…Uff...ok. Leah you are in my thoughts from morning till night and even in my dreams. I love your cute smile, your magical eyes, and the sound of your voice. I love your gentle touch and I love the warmth I feel when I'm by your side. I can't stop thinking about you when we are apart. You make me feel complete. I don't even know how or when this happened but it really feels like you were always there in my heart and in my life. It's like we belong to each other. You're always the one I turn to with my joy, my tears, my hopes, and my dreams. I need you. You are my rock and my support. I need you in more ways that you can ever imagine."

Am I dreaming? I didn't know I could have such vivid dreams. Did Jacob just tell me that he has feelings? Feelings for me? The bitter harpy? Definitely a dream. But shit he is staring at me and I can feel the heat coming from his body. OMG this is real. Shit Leah talk he is looking at you say something.

No this feelin' doesn't end
It's with me everywhere I am
Hope it never goes away
It's like defying gravity
I'm losing all control in bein' free
And I always wanna stay

I never thought that I'd let go long enough
To fall for someone deeply
Who had the power to erase my fears
And find me so completely

Oh my Jacob so handsome looking at me with those gorgeous eyes and I'm here just speechless almost drooling looking at him. What are you waiting for Leah? Just tell him that you are always thinking of him too. That you love his eyes, his, smile, you sure like his body. But I can't this stupid fear is ruling me. Fear to lose again. Fear to be second best again. No I can't.

"Leah, please, say something. I don't care what it is just say anything."

"This wasn't what I was expecting and to be honest, Jacob, I just don't know what to say. I mean, wow, I don't know?" Ok Leah pull yourself together that didn't make much sense. What is he doing? He's getting closer and I just can't think. Please don't touch me. I don't know if I will have the self-control to fight the urge of jumping him and kissing him until we can't breathe. What is he going to do? Oh my! His hand is coming up to my face, I can hear my heart speeding up and I can feel the heat rushing up to my face. He put his hand on my chin lifting my face so he can look at me straight in the eyes. I'm losing my control I just want to kiss him but I need to think this through – it's not that easy.

"Leah I know that there have been lots of tears in our past but think of this as an opportunity life is giving us to rewrite our history. Our hearts has been torn, cut and bruised. But this can be our new beginning."

"Jacob I… I don't know... I… What do you want me to say? That I want to patrol all the time because I know I will be with you? That I can't sleep at night because all I can think about is you? That when you look at me my heart reach speeds higher than a car in the Indy 500? I'm going to be honest with you. You make me feel special and because of you I feel free again. Free to be me. Free of Sam and Sam's pity. I'm very grateful of the opportunity you gave me, Jake. I have seen the way you look at me and it feels good. I have feelings for you too but this between you and me is impossible. You deserve much better than me. I'm the bitter harpy. I'm the freak – the only girl wolf. I can't have a family. You see this will never ever work. Jacob when my dad died I vowed to never give my heart so willingly to another living person; especially those with werewolf genes because of IMPRINTING. What if," He didn't let me finish.

"Leah I will never imprint."

"And how do you know that? Just because you said so or did Alice gave you some lessons on future telling?" I'm losing my cool now.

"Not because I say so. And you know that Alice can't see us. I am the true Alpha of this pack and I'm not just talking of our Renegade pack. I am the true Alpha of the La Push pack." He was smiling now and I was getting angry. Is he making fun of me or what?

"SO just because the True Alpha of La push says that he is not going to imprint it's going to happened. Just like that? Guess what life's a bitch and she hates me. So it doesn't matter what you say, my dear Jacob, life always find a way to screw me."

"Leah, the true Alpha of a pack gets to choose his mate, no magical imprinting crap will ever get in the way. I'm the only one that is free to choose his destiny, to pick who I want. And truth be told I want you and only you my beta."

He's got a point. I remember doing some research on wolves when all of this craziness started and I remember reading that the Alpha of the pack chooses his alpha female. But according to the mind reading leech we are shape shifters and not the so called 'Children of the Moon'. So how much are we like real wolves? I'm so confused. But Jacob is getting closer and closer, now he's caressing my face and I just lose it. My excuses are slipping out. What if this is meant to be? What if it works? Will I let him go just because I'm afraid to lose again? I'm not afraid of anything. But I don't think that my heart will survive another break. "Jake I'm afraid; afraid to lose again. I'm afraid of getting my heart broken again just when I am finally healing." He is running his hand through my hair and it feels so good.

"Leah the love you so desperately seek is here in my arms." He hugs me and I can't deny my feelings any longer. I just give in wanting him to hold me tighter. I want to feel the warmth of his skin close to mine. And for the first time in a long time I feel safe. I felt complete.

Don't tell me where we're goin'
I don't wanna know
I like the mystery
I can't believe we've come this far
So far away from where we started off
You found me when I wasn't lookin'
You found me..

And now I'm lost inside your stare
Lost when you're not there
And everything I have
Doesn't mean a thing if it's without you
Without you..
If it's a dream
Don't wake me up
I'll scream if this isn't love
If bein' lost means never knowin' how it feels without you
Yeah..
If bein' lost means never knowin' how it feels without you
Oh..
If bein' lost means that I'm never gonna be without you..
I wanna stay lost forever..
I wanna stay lost forever
..With you.

We are so close now and I love it. He lifts my face, looking into my eyes one more time before he kisses me. And to say that I feel fireworks exploding inside of me is an understatement. It's like we fit together; like we were made for each other. I don't know if it's because I haven't been kissed in a long time but this kiss makes my knees feel like Jell-O. If he keeps kissing me like this a little longer I'm going to end up hyperventilating. I feel tears running down my cheeks and when the moisture touches his hand he stops kissing me pulling away to look at me. I try really hard to stop the damn tears but I just can't hold it in any longer.

"Lee, I don't know what the future holds for us but it won't be much of a future for me if it's without you. I need you with me. Are you going to give me the chance to be in your life? To love and protect you? Please Leah, give me the opportunity to make you happy again. When I was a little kid I had this huge crush on you. Do you want to know what I used to love about you?"

"My beauty of course." We start to laugh like little kids but then he gets all serious again and he continues with his declaration.

"It was your smile Leah. It was like seeing the sun no matter how overcast the sky really was. Your smile makes my heart pound wildly and my knees weak. I would love to be the reason for your smile. I want to see that smile for the rest of my life."

"I didn't know you were so dense my almighty Alpha. But since we are in Cheesy-land I will tell you what I love about you Jake. I love your eyes because I can just look into them forever. I love your level of commitment to your loved ones. I love your 'never give up' attitude. The list is a lot longer but for now just shut up and kiss me please."

"As you wish my wolf girl"

I don't know what the future holds for us. But for the moment I'm happy. Right at this moment I'm complete. I am me and it's perfect.