Author's Note: Please assume for every chapter my disclaimer, Twilight is the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer. This story is fanfiction. Also, I have found a wonderful beta and I am in the process of reworking all of my chapters.
The night Max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind... And when he came to the place where the wild things are they roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws
But the wild things cried, "Oh please don't go- we'll eat you up- we love you so!"
-Maurice Sendak
The trees buzzed by me as I flew though the forest soundlessly. Running usually soothed my frustration however I couldn't calm the nervous energy that flowed like electricity through my body this morning. The forest was silent as I passed through, the wind my feet kicked up barely stirred the newly fallen leaves. Abruptly I stopped, catching a familiar musky scent on my tongue. I turned and ran perpendicular to my original path.
"You can run but you can't hide, Jacob Black."
The scent was light, perhaps a couple of days old. I chased it deeper into the woods and let my mind wander briefly to the last time I saw Jacob over two weeks ago.
Fifteen days. I kept chanting it. I didn't realize until just now, but it was like a sick mantra. I stopped running.
"Fifteen days!" I yelled into the trees. "Fifteen days and no word. What did I do that is so unforgivable?" My voice broke then, I didn't mean for it to. I sunk down against a tree trunk and hunched over. The roots of the old spruce were slightly exposed and water crystallized over their moss. It was a sunny day for Mid-October and the white light bounced rainbows off of my bare arms; a spectral light show akin to the colours that were becoming apparent in the frozen dew.
I sighed against the cold bark and wrapped my arms around myself.
Can you hear me?
I pushed my hand against my own cheek, an act of futility. Jacob and I were almost of the same mind but without contact there was no way he could hear my thoughts. He obviously didn't care anyway.
That's not true.
Whatever. Now I was arguing with myself.
"It was only a kiss," I told the spruce tree. "Hardly worth mentioning."
Now I was lying to a spruce tree.
Jacob had made his feelings abundantly clear, he loved me but refused to treat me like an adult.
Precisely fifteen days ago we were sitting in a clearing, our bodies flushed from a fresh kill. I enjoyed the hunt thoroughly, having fed on a bear. Soon they would be scarce after the first snow fell. Jacob was content with his vegan meal, a young buck. The herbivores were not as tasty if you ask me.
"Now that we've fed could you please change?" I pleaded. I didn't mean his clothes. The wolf form was fun when I was a kid but now it mostly annoyed me.
"Honestly Jacob, I don't know why you insist on doing the canine thing so much these days." He kind of laughed in response although it sounded more like a gurgle.
"Well, it's not like I can change into a bat," I argued.
He rolled his eyes and disappeared behind a large tree for the sake of modesty. When he returned in yummy male form, my heartbeat quickened. He was so beautiful, in a way that I recognized was coveted by, not only myself but half of the women in La Push and Forks. So tall and muscled, like a bronze sculpture of Hercules, I couldn't help but picture every inch of his body pressed flush against mine. So perfect, I sighed girlishly.
I wasn't perfect at all. I was skinny and pale. Sometimes, I wished I looked more like Leah Clearwater, the only female member of his pack. She looked like a real woman.
"Penny for your thoughts, sweetheart?" Jacob's eyes were both riveted and riveting. Despite all evidence to the contrary, he always looked at me like I was the only woman in the entire universe for him.
"Do you still love me?"
He laughed in response. "Of course I do, Nessie." His warm arms wrapped themselves around my back and he pulled me, rather chastely, into his lap. "You're my favourite person in the entire world. You know that!"
He kissed my cheek, barely grazing the side of my mouth. Oh, I wanted so much more! I turned my head to face him and he kissed my other cheek.
Not for the first time, I disguised my raw lust for him and looked utterly disinterested. "Have you ever read Dracula?" I asked, clinging to my tangent.
"No," he laughed, obviously amused by something he read in my expression.
"It's utterly preposterous! Ramblings of a drunk Irishman who certainly never met a real vampire."
"It's hard to take that stuff seriously," he agreed. "I did see the Scorsese version."
"Coppola," I corrected. "Seeing the film doesn't mean you've read the story."
He grinned at me again like he was indulging a petulant child.
Suddenly I was angry. "You know, you're supposed to be the adult here. How come I've read three-thousand times more novels than you?"
"Fine, Nessie." Jacob was still amused by me. "I'll read all of the bad literature you want if it will make you happy." He wrapped his arms around me then and I went limp against his chest. Mm, I couldn't help it. I breathed in his heady scent and just melted. What would his hands feel like all over me? What would his lips feel like if he kissed me properly?
"There's good literature about vampires," I whispered, pulling his long dark hair into my tiny hand, barely grazing his cheek. I nestled my head into his neck and knew I was losing the battle against my raging hormones. At least I wasn't thirsty. I felt Jacob pull away.
"Yeah, probably," he agreed, sounding distracted. He lifted me out of his lap so I leaned against his shoulder and kept on rambling about a book I didn't even care for.
"Stoker wrote about wolves too. Dracula felt a kinship to them."
Jacob's eyes were dark and troubled suddenly. "No," he snapped.
"No?" I asked, confused. I don't think he was referring to Stoker's craptacular opus.
"Nessie," his breathed, truly stunned. His expression contorted into horrified shock.
"Yes?" I urged.
"I can't let you think these things yet. You're not ready."
I realized my mistake then. I had let my guard down in the same instant I had touched his face a moment ago. And there it was. All of my shame, exposed to him.
"That was private!" I cried out, feeling angry tears threaten to spill over. Jacob looked at me sadly. Hiding my evolving need for him to touch me felt fruitless.
"Look," I explained, not meeting his gaze, "I'm like betrothed to you right?"
I think he nodded but I still couldn't look.
"So it's really only natural that I would want to..."
"Please don't say it," his voice was impossibly husky. I took a good look at him now. His pupils were dilated and his lips were slightly parted.
"You want me too!" It was an epiphany of sorts. I knew it already but was afraid to really let myself think it nonetheless.
I've always lacked the art of subtlety. Being impetuous was always just part of my make-up, which made little sense if you took into consideration my parentage.
So I lunged for him, pressed my hot mouth against his and forced his lips apart with my tongue. It was glorious, all five seconds of it.
He pulled away and I grabbed his face. Please don't go. I'll eat you up, I love you so.
That was fifteen days ago.