Chapter 150: Of Birds And Fish

When Evangeline would have shut the door for our privacy I stopped her. "Leave it open, Evangeline. Sir Damien is coming up, I want to be sure he has passed your room going up before I go back out again."

When I heard the door from the lower floor open and footsteps approaching, I tried to think of something to say quickly that would make it sound like we were having an important conversation. My mind drew a blank. The footsteps were approaching rapidly, and I could think of nothing whatsoever to say. Finally I just started chattering, and in a very loud voice to be sure he'd hear as he neared her door.

"Er…so, Evangeline…er…did you say one bone in your hand is worth two in your bush? I can't tell you how grateful I am you brought this to my attention. This is of crucial importance, I'll get right on it."

"I said no such thing, and anyway it is a bird!"

"Er…huh? What bird?"

"The bird in your hand!"

"I don't have a bird in my hand, what are you talking about?"

"What are you up to?"

"Nothing! Er, I mean whatever you said…er…told me."

Sir Damien passed and sighted me pretending to talk to Evangeline. He grinned wickedly under that face mask. I ignored him till I heard the door close to the upper floor.

"I have to go out, Evangeline. If anyone questions you, tell him I had a sudden attack of the runs. NO! Best not, I may never live that one down. Oh! Say that you think I'm bathing."

"Him who?"

"Huh?"

"You said if anyone asks, tell him you have the runs."

"NO! I said not to say that. Just say I'm bathing or something."

"Maxical, who is this 'him' you are talking about? If you don't tell me, I'll tell every 'him' that asks that you have a bad case of gas and soiled yourself after a particularly bad one."

"GAAAAAH! You…you wouldn't! No particular him, just any…I mean…er…" I eyed her stubborn countenance, she wouldn't give up till I told her something.

"Oh, okay! I'll tell you. I mean Sir Damien, if you must know."

Evangeline looked intrigued. "Well, are we starting to like Sir Damien now? Another close encounter?"

"ARGH! Evangeline, for gods sake don't even joke about that! He just…I just don't want him to know I am gone from the Palace, that's all."

"What are you up to?"

"Nothing, just verifying the truth of something I heard. Tell Sir Damien nothing if he asks, or you can tell him Alix the Mouse has gas or the runs."

*.*

Alix squeaked loudly and sat up in the pram. He started chattering angrily, his arms waving like a politician on a soapbox.

"Evangeline, what a cute baby bonnet you have on him. It looks expensive, where did you get it?"

She couldn't hear me over the volume of Alix's chattering. It had increased to a loud squalling sound, and he was clutching the side of the pram like he may vault out of it.

"Okay, don't say that! Just tell him that we discussed Alix's clothing budget or dietary needs, anything but…oh! Tell him Alix is wanting a pet bird to hold in his hand!"

With a "Hmph" sound, Alix stretched back out in the pram. After a few seconds he squeaked once.

"He wants his blanket." Evangeline got up and hurried to the pram, covering him with a thick velvet throw. She looked back at me, and I got the feeling she didn't want me to watch her kiss the mouse goodnight. She practically pushed me to the door.

"Be careful, Maxical."

"I will." I kissed her cheek and cast chameleon before stepping out the door.

I hadn't gone ten feet down the corridor before an invisible hand grabbed my arm, in spite of my own invisible state. I heard the sound of magic being cast, felt the power of it going through me and through the hand clasping my arm. I suddenly found myself very visible and looking up into Sir Damien's laughing eyes behind that mask.

How had he seen me? The Dispel he had cast over us was the most powerful I'd ever felt before, even stronger than Hannibal's. He had to be an extraordinary mage.

"Unhand me! What do you want?"

"Where are you going, Lass? The bathing room and urns are the other direction if you are having stomach issues." His mouth was twisting in an effort to keep from laughing.

"OH! You…you…eavesdropper!"

"Aye, that I am. Khajiit don't hold the title on nosiness." The laugh he'd been holding back came then, echoing up the corridor.

Evangeline must have heard him, I looked up and she was standing in her doorway grinning like she had pulled off a coup of some sort.

"HMPH!" I pulled my arm from his hand and swept past him with my eyes blazing. I shot him one of the obscure hand gestures Gils had taught me that I got a citation for in my first Arena match and heard his laughter follow me till the door to Uriel's floor slammed behind me.

*.*

Uriel hadn't wasted any time after I left this morning. Nissy and the sisters were gone. The first thing I noticed was that the traps had been dismantled and the corridor was filled with Sir Damien's men, they were everywhere.

A glimpse into the bedrooms the sisters had shared showed they had been turned into mini-barracks. I peeked under the beds, all the vampire juices and scrolls were gone. I had barely touched mine yesterday, but since last night had used almost a full bottle. Drat! I should have asked the Immortal for some of his while I was arguing with him!

The bedroom Nissy and I had shared was now filled with expensive female clothing, the dressing table overloaded with perfumes and make-up. A quick glance under the bed showed one bottle of vampire juice left, and no scrolls. I had no way to duplicate any for myself unless Hannibal brought some scrolls with him when he came. I slid the bottle into the pocket of my greaves, it wouldn't do for Eyja to find it.

There was still only one bed in my bedroom, and obviously Eyja would be staying in it. Suddenly I wondered if Uriel planned to move me out too. Then the last line of his message to Eyja came back to me, about the 'cat joining in the fun'. Was I going to get an ultimatum like the women did? Join him and Eyja in "finding the trout" or be thrown in the street? And where were Nissy and the sisters, in some cave again?

Instead of tapping politely on Uriel's door it sounded more like the Legion on a raid. I was fuming by the time I entered his chambers. Eyja was standing beside him, but dressed a lot differently than she had been at the Tiber Septim.

Her outfit was cut in such a way that it seemed to make blatant reference to every curve of her body, and there were a lot of them. To say the blouse barely contained her large breasts would be an understatement. I was quite sure I was seeing them in their entirety already, or would be any second. Under the skirting of her cuirass was no attempt to hide the garters holding black netted stockings that were framed in thigh-high skin-tight boots.

Eyja raised a mobile eyebrow at my stormy countenance. "Looks like you were right, Sire."

"AHA! So you WERE baiting me with that message! I guess you were taunting me about having your Smithy make hearts out of horseshoes and rose petal paths, too!"

For the first time since we met I heard Uriel Septim laugh, a soft baritone chuckle that pleased the ears to hear. Had I not been so mad I would have enjoyed the sound of it. Eyja's tinkling laugh grated on my already flaring temper. I stood steaming while they enjoyed the moment.

*.*

Uriel got serious quickly. "Eyja tells me you gave her the missives out of order and neglected to ask for her code, then questioned her when you were ordered not to speak. Explain your gaffes."

"Oh. Well, uh…you said prostitute, she didn't look like one…then."

"If you had doubts, the code would be imperative to insist on. If I give you a directive I expect it to be followed to the letter."

"Yes, Sire. It's just, I was kind of mesmerized. I mean, she has sultry eyes. What I mean to say is, she is very pretty. I wasn't expecting…"

Uriel cut me off mid-sentence. "Did you envision her in a greatcloak?"

"NO! Of course not!"

Uriel turned to Eyja. "I'll explain later."

"Sire, I most certainly hope you won't! That was an embarrassing moment, and you have

taunted me with it since! She's obviously the right woman, she is here."

"But you didn't verify that before delivering my message."

"Your message! OH! Sire, I…OH! Eyja looks plenty capable of angling your trout all by herself, I refuse to be party to…AND CAT? HMPH!" They obviously couldn't hear me over their laughter.

Uriel indicated a chair, leaned toward me and spoke in a hushed voice.

"Sit down, Maxical. Coded messages in unreadable markings are rarely used, as they alert themselves for what they are. More often the messages merely obscure the intended meanings, as this did. Forsaking all others meant drop everything she is doing and come immediately. The boots Eyja was to bring were the troops of Sir Damien's men you passed in the corridor. The 'trout' is an intangible feeling that something is off, or a bit 'fishy'…someone here that does not belong. I believe Malan has been inside the Palace, and we may have sleeper agents for the Mythic Dawn among the staff. I need help rooting out the trout, and Eyja is the highest ranking operative on Foxy's team. She is an expert in her field, and I expect you to learn from her while she is here."

*.*

"Oh. I see." My face flushed red from embarrassment. "Hey, wait a minute! What kind of expert in her field I must learn from? I mean, I don't think I need lessons before meeting with my husband."

More laughter. Uriel's laughter was beginning to lose its pleasing sensation, in fact it was rapidly beginning to irritate me like Eyja's. He leaned toward me, barely whispering his words.

"The field of subterfuge and infiltration, Maxical. If Eyja thinks you will be a help rather than hindrance you will be allowed to help us catch them."

"Oh. You mean this…" I indicated Eyja's outfit. "This is a disguise? A role played?"

Eyja kneeled in front of me and took my hand, those sultry eyes of hers looking up into mine with a kindness that soothed the irritation and made me feel like butter melting. I had a distinct feeling that if I knew any secrets they would be spilling under those eyes.

"Maxical, I dress for whatever role the job calls for…but make no mistake, I am a pro for hire. If the price is right I would bed all Nirn, steal it and then assassinate it. My job is whatever the gold pays me to do, but I am a master of infiltration. Your father and I were friends once, long before he met S'Jirra. We were very close, and I'm hoping you and I will be close friends as well."

"You…you're his Eyja? You are the Eyja my father was in love with?"

She nodded. I had an odd moment of feeling stunned, mentally comparing her to S'Jirra. The differences could fill the void. Whatever reason they had parted, I found myself glad S'Jirra had been my mother instead of this vibrant sexy beauty.

"Alix would have killed half of Cyrodiil just for looking at you, and they would look that's for sure." I didn't mean to say it aloud. Even I was having trouble tearing my eyes from her, there was just something about her that drew one's attention and held it. I wondered if S'Jirra had ever seen Eyja before.

"You have hypnotized my Champion, Eyja." Uriel tapped Eyja's arm and held one finger up, then snapped his fingers in front of my face. "Maxical! What are you thinking about?"

"I was just imagining all the claw scars Eyja would carry on her face if S'Jirra ever got a look at her. What's so funny?"

Uriel turned back to Eyja. "Perhaps it would be best if we get her with her husband before she gazes much longer on you, Eyja. You may turn the bend of her mind, and we can't afford for her to continue as a virgin with all these ancients around."

"Sire! It's not, I'm not…it's just hard to look away when she's near. She just kind of makes one's thoughts wander, and their stomachs feel like jelly."

"I think I like this one very much." Eyja declared, pulling herself back up to a stand. Uriel grimaced.