"Urgh... You know I hate it when you smoke"

"And I hate going hungry. The only way to get food is to get money, and the only way to make money," he blew a smoke ring in the air, and smiled crookedly as Yuuri flinched, "is to work. Working is stressful, princess"

"Don't call me princess!"

Wolfram shrugged, then winced when the sore muscles in his neck began protesting. Despite being occupied with sulking, Yuuri noticed and sighed.

"I'm really sorry, you know, that you have to cover my half of the rent as well. I didn't imagine the company was going to lay so many of us off suddenly". He sat on the sofa, and gestured for the blond to sit on the floor in front of him. Used to this bit of domestic kindness, Wolfram put out his cigarette and dropped with his back against Yuuri's knees.

The blond hated smoking, the stench made his mouth feel dirty for hours after even a single stick, and it wouldn't lessen no matter how often he brushed his teeth or gargled. But the thrilling feeling of doing something outside the norm, something nobody who knew him could imagine he would do, made it a source of relief. Like a rebel without a cause, because sometimes being causeless helped ease tension. For him, at least.

Having to put in extra hours had worn him thin, but the best Wolfram could come up with was a few grumbles when Yuuri asked how he was.

The blond was uncertain why, but working seemingly forever to pay off the bills that they usually shared was better than exchanging Yuuri for a more contributive roommate. He concluded it was because Yuuri was more like a maid than a fellow salary man; he could cook decently, and when he rubbed the aches away like this, extreme fatigue felt like a small price to pay to continue being on the receiving end of the nice-ness that is Yuuri.

It felt so wonderful, warm hands kneading his back and shoulders, the pain and stress melting away, him melting away, until consciousness was a hazy pink fog and all Wolfram could think of was mmm...

The blond jerked upright many many hours later, disorientated and confused. The sun was high up in the sky, but it had been late evening when he had stumbled home from the patisserie, caked in batter and minor agony, cursing the sudden influx of demands for giant, stupid birthday cakes.

I told Yuuri that it damn near came to me making an open fire to burn that weird potato-cheesecake order, and I took out my cigarette...

Not the best of thinkers when he first wakes up, it took Wolfram a bit longer to get to where he wanted to.

When he did, he groaned, slapped his forehead, and stood up screaming for the other boy.

He knows I get sleepy when he does that, why didn't he wake me up? I'm late for the daybreak shift!

Like a storm Wolfram blew through his room, putting on slacks and sparing little thought as to how he had fallen asleep in his work clothes and woken up in his pajamas. All the while he showed off his amazing lung capacity, bellowing for Yuuri to come and take it like a man.

A dark head popped in at the door, and disappeared when a disgruntled Wolfram threw a roll of dirty socks at it.

Warily Yuuri looked in again, ready to duck for cover should Wolfram lift any other item of unwashed clothing. The throw had calmed the blond down somewhat, and he now stood in the middle of his room, doing the breathing exercises Yuuri's mother had taught him to stop him from letting his emotions go wild.

"Yuuri" he hissed, keeping the movement of his lips to a minimum for fear that his mouth would discover that screaming was fun and decide to take over from his brain. "If I get fired from this job, we'll be living on the streets, and so help me God I will-"

Yuuri waved his spatula reprovingly. "Language, Wolfram. Honestly, you're worse than the gangsters on TV! I've already phoned that slave driver you call a boss; he's letting you have a sick day off-"

"I'm not sick"

Yuuri gave him a look, and continued unperturbed.

"-seeing as how you basically fainted yesterday. He's also agreed to pay you more when you work overtime, and I managed to squeeze an agreement out of him. From your 10th cake onwards in a day, you get an additional commission for each cake you bake. Honestly, I can't believe you let him treat you the way he did!"

Had it been anyone else, Wolfram probably would have been looking around for a video camera.

Had it been anyone else, Wolfram probably would no longer have a well-paying job making desserts.

Since it was Yuuri, it made perfect sense that his homicidal boss had given him a raise and a sick day, even though Wolfram didn't meet the requirements for such an occasion (he'd been smugly informed that he'd have to be dying with a sword poking out of his guts, or something similar).

"Yuuri, you know I hate it when you use your wimpy magic against people who aren't immune like me."

Yuuri had walked to the tiny kitchen by then, toasting bread and flipping the omelette. "Wolf, if I had any magic whatsoever, wimpy or otherwise, I'd still be working and you wouldn't have to push yourself past exhaustion to make up for my dead weight. That self-proclaimed lord of everything of yours just needed a talking to."

He slipped an omelette onto an old, chipped plate, and managed to burn the tablecloth in the process.

Wolfram, resigned to being put on forced holiday, sat down and tried not to laugh when he saw the latest addition to the black marks on the plain cloth.

"What were you planning to do today? I've been really curious, Yuuri; what do you do when I'm away at work? Could it be... You're secretly getting high on soap operas? Or are you being a productive little princess and washing up after yours truly?"

They were both at the little, circular wooden table, Wolfram talking around mouthfuls. Yuuri scowled, the effect somewhat ruined by the little black clip he used to keep his bangs off his face when he cooked.

"Well, I've been looking for a job, but since unlike some blond foreigners I could mention I don't have any natural abilities, people haven't exactly been lining up to hire me. Can't say I blame them; I have a feeling my CV isn't worth the paper it's printed on"

Seriousness clouded the usually simple face, and Wolfram groaned. He half-stood from his seat, and slapped the other boy's head.

"Oww!"

"That's what you get for being weird and pathetic all of a sudden! Knowing you, lots of people were probably interested, but I bet you told them to hire the cripple, the old man or the single mother instead!"

Yuuri's face blanched, and Wolfram knew he'd guessed correctly.

"Honestly, you're lucky that I enjoy eating food made by a wimp! What would you do without me? Starve and still be unflinchingly wimpy?"

"I told you I'm sorry-"

Wolfram sighed, and rubbed his head gently. This wasn't the kind of conversation he wanted to have right after waking up.

"It isn't the money. I just wonder what will happen to my best friend if I wasn't here to stop him from being too nice. This... housemate thing is wonderful, but it won't last forever! If you or I had to move, rest assured I will go worrying that you will offer your home to strangers or preach racial unity between warring gangs."

"I'm not that much of an idiot!"

"But you are that much of a wimp. It just so happens that you have hidden powers on your side, and me. Worry about yourself more, because we won't be living together forever!"

"I don't need you to worry about me. I'm capable of doing things on my own, without screwing up!"

"I'm too tired to argue with you, but too worried to go back to sleep on the one day I can actually check up on you. So shush, no more disagreeing with me. Where exactly did you plan to go today?"

Yuuri grumbled and toyed with his fork. His expression said "Like I'm going to tell you, you jerk!", but Wolfram had no doubt he'd spill his secret soon.

You're a thousand years too young to challenge me in a battle of wills.

"A clinic?"

Yuuri looked up from the newspaper clipping, carefully checking the address and the name of the establishment.

"Yup, this is the one. It's open 24 hours a day, and it says here they're looking for a receptionist for the night shift. Look, the pay's pretty good" He pointed out the circled figure to Wolfram, who looked at it dispassionately.

"You sure your frail immune system is up to the challenge, Yuuri? If you get sick, I may just leave you at a hospital to be adopted by a kind-hearted gynaecologist who will try to brainwash you into becoming a girl. Or at least, more of one than you already are."

"Wolfram!"

"I'm kidding. But seriously, your mother entrusted you in my care, and you do fall sick remarkably easily. You sure this won't be even a little bit dangerous?"

Yuuri pushed open the tinted doors and walked in, grabbing Wolfram's hand to pull him in as well.

"You know what they say Wolf, whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger!"

Even though he knew Yuuri couldn't see, Wolfram couldn't resist rolling his eyes.

The waiting room was full of people, children running around screaming, elderly patrons looking frail and worryingly near death, women flipping through magazines, and young men looking like they wished they were somewhere else. In all the chaos a woman with hair so dark it seemed almost... green marched through the room, filling out forms and barking out orders to harassed-looking nurses. She looked up and saw them, Yuuri executing an awkward finger wave as Wolfram looked on in amusement.

She turned and whispered something to another nurse, and waded through toys and children to get to them.

"Hello, would you happen to be the boy who called me earlier for a position?"

Yuuri's eyes lit up as he remembered the kind voice he had spoken to over the phone. He stepped closer, a brawl between two boys creating so much noise he couldn't hear her clearly.

"Um, yes, hello... I'm Shibuya Yuuri, and you must be Miss Gisela Kleist. Nice to meet you."

Gisela smiled before snapping her head to the side to glare at the fight. She opened her mouth to tell them to behave or else, but Wolfram beat her to it.

Yuuri rubbed his temple, and prayed the parents of the children wouldn't press charges. Despite being a considerable source of the thing, Wolfram hated loud noises. Especially in the morning. And things Wolfram hated were never treated kindly.

The blond had squatted and pulled the two boys apart, holding them by their shoulders. He whispered, but it was still loud enough for Gisela and Yuuri to hear.

"Oh dear, you both have split lips. Let's hope you get a strange virus from the doctor's clinic and everyone dies. Doesn't that sound like fun? Now, unless you want me to tell you the many, many things that could get into your bloodstream from that lip of yours, I suggest you quietly go sit with your mothers."

Wolfram smiled his most charming smile in the direction of the watching adults, sweet enough to lull them into thinking everything was perfectly fine. The boys had turned deathly pale and scuttled away, leaving Wolfram to return to his position behind Yuuri, acting as if the little show of ruthlessness was nothing out of the ordinary.

Yuuri was prepared to apologise on his friend's behalf, but Gisela waved it away. Instead she held out her hand to Wolfram.

"Hello, I'm a doctor but just call me Gisela, and I'm basically in charge of everything. Pleasure to meet you. Are you interested in working for me too? Because there will always be a shortage of people capable of shutting other people up."

Wolfram looked a little shocked, then broke into a grin and shook the offered hand warmly.

"Oh, I think you can handle such a small matter with ease, Gisela. Please call me Wolfram, and the pleasure is all mine. If you do hire Yuuri, please look after my wimp."

Yuuri stifled a small scream of horror as a friendship created from similar, violently dangerous behaviour was formed between his oldest friend and a woman who would probably be his new employer. It was a scary sight to behold, the two smiling understandingly at each other.

What have I gotten myself into?

While Yuuri was zoned out, imagining the three of them going out for karaoke and Wolfram not paying any attention to him because he was busy telling embarrassing stories about Yuuri to Gisela, Gisela scanned the C.V. he couldn't remember handing her and looked at him scrutinisingly.

"Mr. Shibuya, Mr. Shibuya?"

Wolfram sighed and waved Gisela into silence. He walked closer to the dark haired boy, laid a gentle hand on his shoulder, and called his name softly.

"Yuuri, Earth to Yuuri, come back to the real world please. Or I'll start screaming. Oh yes I will. So snap out of it, the nice lady has something to tell you."

At the sound of the familiar voice, Yuuri broke out of his fear-induced trance. When he burrowed deeply into his own mind, it was hard for him to resurface unless it was his friend that called for him. It was weird, but there wasn't anything physically wrong with him.

Dear I'm-Mrs.-Shibuya-Miko-please-call-me Jennifer had him examined every year to make sure.

"Sorry doctor, he's a bit of an absent-minded wimp. But he's really very nice, and a good, clean worker. He does all of our housework, and he almost never complains about whatever he has to do. It'd be great if you'd hire him"

Gisela smiled at Wolfram, and Yuuri was annoyed.

Because I don't need him to get me a job, of course!

"I've already decided that he'd suit the job. But Mr. Shibuya-"

"Just Yuuri is enough, doctor!"

"Then call me Gisela. Yuuri, the hours are very tiring, and can be very hectic or very lonely. You're certain you won't quit halfway, and leave me short of staff?" Her smile widened, now looking predatory, "Because that would make me really angry."

"Could I come and visit him in the early hours if the clinic isn't busy?"

"Hmm... as long as it doesn't disturb his work, you're welcome to keep him company. I don't think anyone would mind seeing you here again, Wolfram."

Yuuri disliked the tone of her voice. She seemed like a perfectly nice, albeit scary woman. And like any normal woman, she found Wolfram irresistible. It wasn't the boy's fault; he hadn't asked to be born with wealth and startlingly good looks. So when women flocked to him, Yuuri always felt bristly and protective. While in possession of a short temper, Wolfram could never deny a woman anything. Yuuri thought it his sacred duty to keep women away, because when the relationship didn't work, it was always Wolfram who felt guilty about it.

Hastily he decided to step in.

"Ah, Wolfram works so much in the day, I wouldn't want you to lose sleep just to come see me! I promise, Gisela, I'll last as long as I can. Thank you very much for this opportunity! Now I'm afraid we have to take our leave, there's some business we have to attend to."

"But Yuuri, there's-"

Yuuri discreetly stepped on Wolfram's foot, and the blond quieted immediately. The threat in his green eyes was clear and burning though, and Yuuri gulped as he tried not to think of the consequence.

He thanked Gisela profusely, promised to show up a week from today, and exited waving at the green-eyed woman, dragging an unresisting Wolfram along.

Some way from the clinic, the hand in his grip was wrenched away angrily, and Yuuri took a deep fortifying breath before he turned to face an indignant blond.

"What the hell, Yuuri? The woman was nice enough to give you a job, and you cut off her offer to let me come see you! And what's this rubbish about us having important things to do? I didn't know I'd be off today!"

Yuuri sighed. It was hard to explain to Wolfram the effect he had on everybody else. Whatever charm Yuuri told the blond he possessed would be scoffed at and brushed off.

Even though Yuuri never exaggerated anything.

"Wolfram, remember you said you'd trust me to make sure you don't become a serial heart-breaker without realising it? Well, Gisela met you for all of 15 minutes and I could just about see the hearts in her eyes! It felt like a scene straight out of a movie. So I had to... to extract you before she decided to ask you out."

Yuuri allowed himself a little "hmmph!"

"You call me a wimp and a princess and other girly things, but I'm not the one incapable of saying no to women!"

Understanding dawned in Wolfram's eyes, before giving way to annoyance and irritation. His mouth was open, a scathing comment on the tip of his tongue, but it went unsaid as the incredible oddness of the situation made itself understood.

At which point he burst into laughter, Yuuri thanking the universe in general that his friend wasn't flaying him.

"Yuuri, please remember that you can't say no to anyone. Don't lump me up in the same category as you! But still," Wolfram smiled gratefully, "it was very thoughtful of you to stop me from messing up with your new employer"

Wolfram looked around, getting his bearings.

"Come on, to say thank you I'll treat you to lunch. I go on dates more often than I have lunch with you! There's a restaurant near here that my friend recommended; she said she wanted to take me there, but since we've both been so busy, I don't think she'll mind if I take you there first."

Yuuri groaned.

"Wolfram, you empty-headed blond! You do realise the poor woman meant to go on a date with you there, don't you?"

Wolfram shook his head, a confident smirk gracing his lips.

"That wouldn't make any sense; otherwise it would mean I'm asking you out for a date right now!"

Both boys laughed, and laughed hard, though the joke wasn't terribly funny.

They continued walking, Wolfram gaining a thoughtful expression, Yuuri loath to distract him and disturb the pleasant silence.

"Though your mama would certainly be pleased by such a match"

"Wolfram!"

A/N: This story is also a long multi-chaptered fic, but it's massively shorter than YSTS (though be fair, it is still in progress…). And whereas that one dealt with like, loyalty and serious things like that, this one is more simple and less... Epic. Hopefully still entertaining though. First chapter is an introduction to them in their AU habitat, and this story has a half-decent plot. I think ;D Dedicated to melodyz07, because I'd promised to post this ages ago then got distracted, and feel really bad that I had to be reminded to get this up. Hope you enjoy. Umm, if all goes well update will be on Saturday. Might be earlier, maybe. Title may not make sense, because I'm horrible at naming things, but future events may make it less inappropriate, heh.