"SORT OF BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGE" Entry

Title: Fate Happens

Author: SkyAtMidnight

If you would like to see all the stories that are a part of this challenge visit the "SORT OF BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGE" profile page:

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2046940/

DISCLAIMER: Twilight characters and related likeness owned by Stephenie Meyer, Little Brown Publishing. No profits have been received in the production of this piece.

I walked along the beach slowly, feeling the sand beneath my toes. I could feel it sticking to the bottom of my feet, smell the salt in the air. It stung my nose in a familiar and calming way. The crashing of the waves wiped my mind of all troubles, all thoughts.

Well, almost all.

I came here at least once a year, religiously, so that I would never forget. I came here to experience the pain of memories, the bitter pleasure of lost love. To again experience the aching that didn't tear at me when I left like it used to. To remember what she looked like running carelessly along the line that separated sand from ocean.

I knelt down at the point where the tide was cresting. I dug my hand deep into the sand, reveling in how heavy it became when wet. I tried to fight the heartache, the tears that threatened to overtake me.

I had considered never coming back numerous times. One year I even tried to ignore it entirely. Summer was nearing its end and it was the longest amount of time I had spent away. But it called to me; pulled me back to the place where I had always believed I belonged.

It wasn't La Push's fault that I had been wrong.

I looked at Edward with a silent plea that I knew he was trying to ignore. My question hung, unanswered, in the air like a brick. There were no words to say besides "yes" or "no."

"Fine," he said, sounding defeated. I supposed I hadn't considered "fine."

"Edward," I said soothingly, guilt stabbing at me. "I have to go."

"Why?" he implored, his golden eyes burning into my agonizingly brown ones.

"I promised Charlie I would go home at least once a year after we left. I've told you before…"

"I suppose I just like to be reminded of your reasoning," Edward answered, barely breathing.

I sighed. "I don't understand why you always seem to think I go home with some ulterior motive."

"Sometimes I think…no, I'm being irrational," Edward said, trying to push out his last thought and turning away from me.

"Edward," I said gently, relishing his name on my tongue, "tell me what you're thinking."

"Well," he paused for an immeasurable moment, "it seems you go at the same time every year, as though you're hoping to see…him." An uncomfortable silence fell between us.

"You know that's not true," I mumbled, avoiding his gaze.

"Look me in the eye and tell me it's not, then," he said, a hopeful yet challenging tone in his voice. I couldn't. I shook my head, barely, from side to side. He got up from the bed heatedly.

"You can't keep me by your side every second of every day Edward. Being parented was part of the reason I wanted to leave Forks in the first place," I tried to explain. "So being constantly watched by my husband doesn't feel much better."

"I'm not trying to police you, Bella. Don't you understand, after all this time, that I'm terrified of something happening to you? Wouldn't you be more concerned if I just let you go without a second thought regarding your well-being? Regarding mine?"

"Well what is that supposed to mean?" I asked, trying not to get defensive.

"Bella, don't act naïve, please. After what happened between you two, how could I not react this way?"

"I suppose it would be out of character for you not to be absurdly jealous," I conceded. He rolled his eyes slightly, and I didn't like the arrogant look he gave me one bit.

"It isn't mere jealousy and you know it."

I made my way back to my Dad's house slowly, taking in all the painful thoughts while at the same time trying to push them away. I couldn't even remember the last time I saw her. It was stupid to think about; she had moved away shortly after I had. I learned that the first time I tried to come back and find her.

It wasn't that my life had gone badly since leaving Washington. Quite the contrary, actually. California was everything I had hoped it would be and more. Surfing became my new passion, and I was thrilled to find I had a natural talent for it. My day job as a personal trainer was certainly brag-worthy. I loved being active, I always had, and I relished in forgetting any worries with physical pain and strengthening. San Diego was my playground.

It also wasn't as if other girls hadn't come along. Some had come and gone quickly, others stuck around for a while. I almost fell in love again, with a beautiful, athletic girl who wanted me to teach her how to surf. We had a few impromptu lessons and romantic dates before I realized that she was using me. I kept seeing her for a while after that, because honestly, the sex was unbelievable. But once my heart wasn't in it anymore, it didn't take long to unravel.

Coming here to reminisce about Bella was more a guilty pleasure than anything. It had just so happened that, in the five years since I had left, I had always ended up single at the end of the summer. It seemed appropriate to come at that time, since that's when it ended. I was twenty-three now, but often felt much older. My experiences had aged me.

I wondered about Bella less now than I used to. I used to think about her constantly. Now I only thought about her annually, and with the occasional wonder about whether or not she was still human. I couldn't imagine that she hadn't let him change her yet. She would be twenty-five already, and there was no way she would have stayed human that long.

I began to hesitantly pack my things, trying my best to ignore Edward's heartbreaking stare. "Why is it so important that you go tonight?" he asked.

I shrugged. "It just feels like the right time. Plus I already told Charlie."

"You know Charlie wouldn't mind," he argued.

"I know…but I'm trying to be better about keeping my word to people. And besides, the sooner I leave, the sooner I come back, right?" He stared at me, his expression unreadable, but it twisted my stomach uncomfortably all the same. Then, without warning, he fled the room impossibly fast.

I knew I wasn't being fair. Being fair was not a strong character trait of mine. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that being selfish was far more expected of me. Why Edward was still shocked at this behavior was what was surprising. I looked guiltily after him. I knew he'd be out on our deck, staring moodily at the backyard.

Oregon wasn't much different from Forks. We certainly didn't come here for the change of scenery. We came here because we had to – because I had to. Staying in Forks, staying anywhere near La Push, was out of the question. Edward's attitude had made that clear. Plus, once my choice was made, there was no going back. Being around memories of Jake was too painful, both for Edward and for me. So we left.

It wasn't that I didn't love Edward. He had my heart, my soul, my everything. I couldn't function without him, couldn't breathe. I wasn't Bella without Edward. I wasn't anything without Edward. His life revolved so completely around me that it couldn't be avoided or ignored, and mine around him.

But with Jake I had been – something else. Someone else. Someone daring, adventurous, beautiful…undeniable. There was nothing I wasn't capable of when Jake was around. Nothing…except loving him the way he loved me.

Pushing those thoughts aside momentarily, I threw a shirt into my open suitcase. I followed Edward's path, finding him exactly where I expected him to be. His skin glittered only lightly in the glint of the setting sun. I walked up behind him and carefully approached. When he didn't move, I slowly put my arms around his midsection. He still didn't move, so I dared to look up into his stony face. His eyes darted briefly to mine, and his expression softened a fraction of an inch, which I viewed as an opportunity.

"I'm sorry."

"If you were sorry, you would stay tonight."

"I never said you couldn't come," I reasoned, trying to crawl my way out of the hole I had dug, even though he and I both knew I wanted to go alone.

He sighed deeply. "You know I'd rather not come, nor do you really want me to." I found myself avoiding his eyes again involuntarily. "My point." He turned again, intending to walk away. I grabbed his face as hard as I could, forcing his eyes to mine.

"You know I'll come back," I said sincerely.

"So what am I supposed to do? Just sit here and let you go back to the place that reminds you only of him? What if he's there?"

"You know he's not there," I argued, clenching my teeth.

"Neither of us knows that for sure. Not until you go."

"I'm not going in hopes of seeing him!"

"Then why are you going?"

"Because I promised Char-"

"Bella," he said exasperatedly, "please stop pretending you care more about Charlie's feelings than mine, or your own for that matter." Now that was a proper response to my selfishness. He walked back inside the house.

"You don't mean that Edward." As I followed him in, he was already sitting on the bed, his head between his hands.

"You're right, I don't," he admitted. I sat next to him. He looked at me as though he could scarcely fathom my decision. "Promise me you won't do anything…you'll regret."

"I promise," I breathed, hoping this meant our fight was over. His look didn't falter, but he reached a cold hand up and pushed some hair back from my forehead. He let his hand tenderly stroke my cheek and I shivered softly. He leaned towards me, gently pressing his lips to mine. His tongue darted out forcefully, and I eagerly granted him access to my mouth. His kisses became hungry, his hands weaving themselves into my hair. Before I could register what was happening, I was on my back in the bed. I realized then that this urgency and desperation was uncomfortably familiar; Edward was, once again, afraid of losing me.

"What's for dinner, Dad?" I asked, walking into the living room. He was going through his usual nightly routine, lazily drinking a beer while some football game echoed in the background.

"I was thinking of inviting the boys over for a bonfire tonight," Billy responded suggestively.

"Sounds like a good plan," I agreed.

"Good, 'cause they'll be here any minute," Billy responded gruffly, a smile playing at his lips and resounding in his voice. I laughed.

"I'm glad my opinion is something you value so highly." He chuckled.

"So how's life?" he asked, as he always did.

"Life is great, Dad. I wish you could come visit Cali more often."

"Transportation isn't the easiest in this thing, as you know," Billy replied, patting his wheelchair.

"I know," I admitted. There was a pause. "You know I feel bad about that."

"About what now?"

"Leaving you here, alone, to fend for yourself." Billy waved a hand dismissively.

"You were growing up so fast, Jake, I wouldn't dream of trying to tie you down to the rez. I don't wanna hear another word about it." I nodded, a knowing grin meeting my lips.

"Sure Dad, whatever you say."

The guys arrived shortly after. Quil and Embry showed up first, giving me brief nods. I greeted them awkwardly; my departure had affected them the most. The three of us had been almost inseparable, well, before Bella really came into the picture, anyway.

"How's life, Jake?" Embry asked curiously. I shrugged.

"It's pretty good down in Cali, there's no denying that," I said matter-of-factly. "I still wish you guys would consider coming down and starting a gym with me. You know how great that would be."

"Well, you know how great it would be if you would just come back to the rez," Quil retorted. I eyed him evenly.

"You know I can't do that. There's nothing for me here, Quil."

"We're here," he rebutted.

"You're here, and you've all got your own lives and girlfriends and families…I get that. And I understand that it's the reason you can't pick up and leave like I did. But you could have." They both shifted uneasily, neither daring to defend their actions. They knew what kind of state I had been in when I left, and they ignored it. They let me go on my own, alone, feeling more depressed and abandoned than I ever had in my life. Forgiveness was easy enough, but it was always that forgetting part that got in the way.

"Let's just make the most of me being in town, ok?" I asked earnestly. They both nodded brusquely.

Soon after, everyone had arrived, and we had a great bonfire going. It was exactly like being 17 again, roasting marshmallows, throwing food at each other, catching up. The difference was that now we had much more to catch up on, and the stories we told were no longer legends, but stories that shaped us into the people we had become.

"I wish you'd come more often than once a year, Jake," Sam said solemnly. A general note of agreement resounded around the circle.

"You guys can always come visit me, too," I argued. "California isn't so far, and you'd save on gas if you carpooled." Another note of agreement, though less enthusiastic, sounded. It was a funny life lesson I had learned from moving away; people are always happy to take time out to see you when you come to them, but when it comes to actually altering their schedules, their habits and routines, they're much less likely to go out of their way. It makes you wonder who your true friends are, and who they ever really were. It was part of the reason my trips had decreased in frequency over the past five years.

Once everyone had their fill of food and laughter, they all headed their separate ways. I said my heartfelt goodbyes, with empty promises of returning sooner than next year. I was honestly eager for them to go so that I could enjoy the remainder of my last evening here in solitude. Billy gave me an understanding look that I tried to ignore as he headed back to the house, announcing he was hitting the hay.

I walked back down to the beach, strolling idly until I found a good place to sit. It was here, now, that I would give myself over to memories.

I knew that Edward's goal had been to exhaust me to the point of sleepiness, but I wouldn't be diverted from my mission. I climbed uneasily into my conspicuous sports car that he had bought me as a wedding present and smiled weakly at him. "I love you," I said firmly, buckling my seatbelt and looking up at him through the open window.

"I love you, too," he murmured, leaning in for one last kiss. My head swam and it took me a moment to regain myself before putting the car in drive.

It was only about a three-hour drive from our home in Oregon to my Dad's house in Forks. Since the sun had just set, I imagined I'd be there by ten p.m. I had already called Charlie to tell him, and he was ecstatically preparing my old bedroom for my stay. He didn't even act surprised when I told him Edward wasn't coming. Edward didn't often come back to Forks with me; he didn't like all the pain it reminded him of, and our home in Oregon seemed to really suit him.

The problem was all the time for thinking a three-hour drive afforded me. I turned up the music, trying unsuccessfully to drown out my thoughts. What if Jake was there? I hadn't seen him in five years, so it was impossible to predict how I would feel, how I would react.

But the likelihood of us being back home at the same time was extremely slim. Charlie would never tell me much about Jake's visits, not when he saw the way talking about him affected me. All I knew was that Jake tried to visit yearly, like I did. I speculated as to why I always felt the strong pull to Forks at the same time every year. It was like my previous tragedy was calling to me, begging me to relive it in the most vivid way possible. At its core, it was masochistic. And honestly, it was human nature to indulge every now and then.

So I limited myself to once a year. Charlie hated it, but I constantly reminded him that he could come visit me, too. He rarely had time though; after Edward and I moved out, it didn't take him long to revert back to his overtime shifts and devoted routines. After everything that had happened though, I was glad he found a companion of sorts in Sue Clearwater. She wasn't around much when I visited; I imagined this was at Charlie's request for some "quality time" with me, which generally consisted of me cooking dinner and initiating awkward conversation.

I never left without driving by Jacob's old house though. Last year, I think Billy saw me. I had accelerated too fast in fear and nearly gone off the road when I saw him peeking through the window. Admittedly, I had been driving at a conspicuously slow rate, but it didn't mean I wanted to get caught. It only meant that I was taking a fleeting moment to remember.

But remembering was dangerous, and I tried again to divert my mind from it.

I watched darkly as the waves rolled up to the sand, grazing my toes. I couldn't help but love it out here, alone with nature, feeling peaceful. It was Bella and I's favorite place for the short time that we were together.

After Edward left and Bella fell apart, it took me a long time to get her to trust me. She had given him every last piece of her she had, and rebuilding was no easy or quick task. Even now it seemed bitterly unfair that I had worked so hard to get her to feel okay again, to feel normal, just in time for him to come strolling back in and act like he hadn't destroyed her. Our happy times together had been far too brief - not that I would trade them for anything. She loved me, despite everything that had happened before and since, I was positive of this one, feeble fact. At the end, it was the only thought that had gotten me through most nights.

I remembered very clearly the first time we made love. I remembered every move, every touch, and every sound. It had been here, on this beach, probably near the spot where I sat now. It was a warm summer night and everyone had gone their separate ways…

We walked down to the beach slowly, letting our laughter fade into the background and collecting all of our thoughts. We had just left Sam and Emily's after a hugely satisfying meal, the company being just as good. We were hand-in-hand, as we often were these days. Emily had referred to Bella as my girlfriend earlier in the night and she had blushed deeply, but not denied it. I was secretly thrilled.

"Race you," she said daringly, dropping my hand and striking a runner's pose.

"Oh, you're on!" I responded, taking off. I didn't try too hard to beat her, allowing her to get in front of me at the last second and feigning defeat.

"I know you let me win," she said, as though I had been trying to hide it.

"You got me, secret's out." We sank into the sand and she leaned against me, sitting snugly between my legs. I breathed in the scent of her mixed with the salty air and seriously wondered if this is what heaven might be like. She glanced up at me, her smile reaching her eyes.

"So…what do you want to do now?" she asked impishly.

"Doesn't matter to me. I'm pretty happy doing this," I admitted. I impulsively leaned down to kiss her, and she responded as she had for the past few remarkable weeks – she turned her head eagerly as our lips connected. I kissed her softly, slowly, and soon she became impatient and I felt her tongue graze my lips. I suppressed a smile and parted them slightly. She kissed me as though she wanted to devour me, and her passion invoked an equal response in me.

Soon she turned towards me, carefully straddling me and pulling herself closer. I groaned; Bella could be such a tease. Her devilish grin showed me she knew it, too. "You're going to be the death of me, Bells, I swear," I murmured, running my hands down her back to wrap around her waist. She didn't say anything, but simply clutched greedily at the back of my head and pulled me in for another kiss. This one was more demanding, and caused my body to respond instantly.

Feeling aroused with Bella this close to me was a serious turn-on. She had never been this eager before, and I was as shocked as I was excited. I readjusted her position on my lap so that she could feel my erection, feel what she was doing to me. The tiniest of moans escaped her at the contact, and I grew harder.

My mouth took on a mind of its own, and I vaguely took in the colorful sunset behind her. In my eyes, nothing could match her beauty. I kissed lightly down her jaw line, pausing at the nook in her collarbone and felt her shiver. Meanwhile, my hands ran slowly up her arms, and back down, working their way up her shirt. I cupped her right breast and she released a breath I hadn't realized she was holding.

I looked up into her eyes inquisitively, asking permission. In response, she removed her shirt, followed tantalizingly by her bra. I smiled and drank in the sight of her. I walked my fingers teasingly to her left nipple, gave her a suggestive grin, and lowered my mouth to her right. I teased her nipples, softly biting, sucking, and pinching. Each time she whimpered got me harder, and I almost lost it when she mumbled, "Jake" at a particularly hard nibble. At that point I hastily moved back to her mouth, claiming hers with mine. I wanted her all over me, I felt her everywhere, and it was glorious.

It took me a moment to realize that the music had disappeared and my iPod had stopped playing. I was so in my head that it hadn't even fazed me. I was thinking recklessly back to the first time Jake and I had made love, and how amazing it had been…

As Jake kissed me hungrily, I could do nothing but take in every inch of him. I ripped his shirt off with surprising force, and his knowing grin did nothing to ease the aching in my center. I pressed up against him, loving the feeling of skin-to-skin contact that I so desperately craved. It had never been like this with Edward. It wouldn't ever be like this with Edward. I pushed Edward out of my mind with astounding ease and focused my every thought on Jacob.

Unable to control myself, as though my body had taken on a mind of its own, I began undoing his pants. I faintly noticed that the sun had set, but it was a warm summer night and our bodies were beginning to glisten with sweat. He took them off all too willingly, pulling at mine as well and ridding us both of all clothing and undergarments. I looked around suddenly, aware of how exposed we were on the beach.

"Don't worry," he said softly, following my train of thought exactly. "Everyone we know, which is everyone who lives around here, is safe and sound in their own homes. And Billy couldn't come down here even if he wanted to." I nodded, taking comfort both in his words and in the fact that we were at the bottom of a slight hill, being blocked from any occasional passerby. He stood abruptly, causing another look of worry to cross my face.

"I brought a towel," he offered kindly. I stood too, letting him lay it out on the sand. I felt a little awkward then, standing naked in front of him. My awkwardness disappeared instantly when I saw the admiring look on his face.

"God, Bella," he breathed, "you're so beautiful."

"You're not so bad yourself," I teased, running my hand appreciatively over his muscular chest, then to his perfectly tanned arms. Without another word, we moved to the towel and he towered over me.

He kissed his way down my stomach, past my center, and all the way down my legs. I quivered in anticipation as he torturously kissed his way back up the inside of my left leg. He ran his hands over the spot behind my kneecaps and I shuddered. Finally, he was kissing my thighs, and intentionally grazed his hand over my very moist lips. "Jake!" I cried involuntarily. I felt his breath on me and it was driving me crazy. Slowly, ever so slowly, he ran his tongue along me, gently biting my clitoris. I was almost sent over the edge immediately.

He began sucking with a small amount of pressure and I felt his fingers begin to enter me. He kept a steady rhythm as I felt my body react, climbing higher and higher towards the ultimate goal. The louder my moans got, the faster his fingers went. I felt my release coming and told him so, causing him to bite moderately harder on my clitoris and sealing my orgasm. He moved slowly throughout, allowing me the maximum amount of pleasure.

Finally it ebbed and I looked up at him gratefully. "That was amazing," I said, feeling that words couldn't adequately describe what I had just experienced.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," he responded. I noticed then how totally aroused he had become in the process of pleasuring me.

"I think I owe you a favor, now don't I?" I asked suggestively, beginning to reposition myself so that he was on his back.

I moved as slowly as I could, trailing my fingers around his erection and finally wrapping my hand around it. I heard him exhale in relief as I began pumping my hand up and down steadily. I watched as his fingers grasped at the towel as I descended on his length with my mouth. His sudden moan caused me to feel another rush of arousal as I took him as deep into my mouth as I could.

Before long, I could tell his release was coming, and I was eager to bring it. What I wasn't expecting was for his hand to gently slow me and push me away from him.

"Bella," I said, trying desperately to control the imminent orgasm.

"What is it?" she asked, too concerned.

"I just, I wanted to see if it'd be all right if…" I couldn't find the right way to say it.

"If what, Jake?" she asked, curious. I sat up further, bringing my fingers back to her center and feeling her wetness there.

"If we could take care of both of us, together," I said, hoping she'd understand what I meant. Her eyes widened, and then softened again.

"I think that's a fantastic idea." My heart skipped several beats as she positioned herself below me again. She opened her legs invitingly, and I knew that being careful would be difficult, but necessary.

I moved my throbbing erection tentatively to her opening and looked up at her for some indication of consent. She nodded at me, her lust-filled eyes leading me onward. I pushed in slowly, taking in every unbelievable second of pleasure. It was my first time as well as hers, and her tightness clutched as me in a way I hadn't thought possible. I felt her natural resistance and met her eyes again. She nodded slightly, and I took a deep breath before pushing further.

I felt my hymen break with a painful twinge, and Jacob stopped moving abruptly. My eyes filled with tears, and I was desperate for a distraction. "Keep going, slowly," I begged. He obliged without question, moving gently back and forth. Soon enough, the pain vanished and started becoming more pleasurable. I started to really feel him, filling me up, igniting my every nerve ending with his strong, measured movements.

"Feels so good," I whispered, and he began moving faster.

"Bells," he said urgently, his pace still increasing, "you have no idea how, how long I've wanted, how good this, ah," his statement was cut short as he focused his concentration back to the task at hand. I wrapped my legs around him, causing him to go even deeper. The look of pure ecstasy on his face was divine, and I pushed my hips up roughly to meet his every thrust.

"Jake, Jake, yes," I heard myself saying, making him pound into me all the harder. I felt his hand on me, pressing on my clitoris, and I knew I was close. He must have been able to tell too, because he thrust into me relentlessly and I could tell he was preparing to let go completely.

"Oh, God!" I cried, relishing in my second orgasm that evening, feeling my muscles tighten around him.

"Bella!" he exclaimed, his release following immediately. He laid gently on top of me, our breathing heavy, as we tried to recover ourselves from our passionate lovemaking.

"That was," I began, catching his eye, "amazing."

"Yes, it really was," he agreed. We laid there, on the towel, connected, for at least half an hour. I think we both wanted to remember that moment forever, make it last forever. I listened to the serene waves and thought only of Jacob.

I shook my head, trying to tame the thoughts that had overcome me. I got up from my spot on the beach and walked quickly back to the house. I had let myself get too far into my head, and I berated myself for it. I hadn't imagined that night so vividly in a long time, and it wasn't healthy. There was simply no point in reminiscing about things that would never happen again, and all it was doing was causing me agony.

Billy was in bed when I got back in, and I was grateful for this. I didn't want him to see me in this state and know exactly what I had been doing. I think he knew why I came home, but it didn't bother him particularly. All means to the same end in his eyes, which was me being home for a while. I was often appreciative of how easygoing my father was.

Trying to clear my mind, I laid down to get some much-needed sleep.

I arrived at Charlie's in an anxious state after the intense memories I had relived on the drive home. Much to my chagrin, he was still awake and very excited to see me. I decided to pretend this didn't bother me for both our sakes. We had an enjoyable evening, drank a few beers, I cooked a lasagna despite the lateness of the hour, and we just generally caught up. For a brief period of time that night, I actually stopped thinking about Jake.

Once Charlie was sufficiently tired, he went to bed, and I went shortly after. All night I tossed and turned, partially from being back in a now unfamiliar place, mostly from dreams about Jake.

I awoke early, just before sunrise by my calculations. Unsurprisingly, Charlie wasn't up yet. This was early even for him, not to mention that my late arrival had cut into his regular sleep schedule. I went downstairs quietly, intending to make some breakfast, but couldn't muster an appetite for anything. Eventually, I decided to go for a drive.

As soon as I started driving towards La Push, a sense of urgency began to overcome me. I suddenly felt as though this was exactly what I had come here to do. There was a rightness about it that was unshakable. Empowered by this, I pushed harder against the gas pedal, the rising sun glinting behind me.

I woke up far earlier than I wanted to after a restless night of sleep. I cursed at the rising sun coming through my window and shut my eyes intently against it, even though I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. Shortly after, I gave up and decided to head back down to the beach.

The beach here was nothing like the beaches in California, which was a huge relief when I had first arrived. It was seasonally colder here, for one thing, which made the beach seem less alive and colorful. Mostly though, it gave me a sense of home that was unsettling anymore. I sat near the same place I had the night before, yawning and blinking my eyes furiously to try to wake up.

I drove by Billy's house dubiously, trying to comfort myself with the fact that he probably wasn't up this early, either. Jake's car was nowhere to be seen. I breathed deeply, unsure whether I felt relief or disappointment at this fact. I went a little ways down the road and parked as inconspicuously as I could before heading for the beach. I couldn't explain why, but it felt like the place I needed to go.

I made my way down, noting all the familiar sights with both happiness and deep regret. Soon, I spotted the hill that had concealed Jake and I on that fateful night. I smiled and picked up my pace.

As I reached the top, I looked down and nearly gasped aloud. There, at the bottom of the hill, sat Jake.

It felt as though something in the air had shifted suddenly, although I couldn't pinpoint a reason why. I glanced around my immediate vicinity and noticed nothing.

And that's when I knew that my lack of sleep had caused me to start hallucinating.

About ten feet to the right of me, I saw Bella. But she wasn't the Bella I had known; she was older, more mature, but every bit as breathtaking as I remembered. She was looking at me, and her eyes were the same piercing brown they had been so long ago. That's how I knew she wasn't real: there was no way she would have stayed with Edward this long without being turned herself. She cocked her head at me and raised her eyebrows, a silent question passing between us.

If the moment hadn't been so ludicrously impossible, it would have been sort of beautiful.

I took my time drinking in the sight of her, confident in the fact that I was literally losing my mind.

Then she said, "Jake?" and I think my heart stopped beating entirely.

After I said his name, his eyes got so wide that I thought he was going to pass out. I wished I knew what he was thinking at that moment, because me speaking shouldn't have been that shocking. Though, given the circumstances, I couldn't blame him for being surprised. Quite frankly, my heart was beating so fast I thought it was about to escape from my chest.

"Bella?" he responded finally, as though it could be anyone else staring back at him. I simply nodded, at a loss for anything else to do. Slowly, he got up and approached me. My heart started beating inconceivably faster as I took in his gloriously familiar physique. He walked up to me and hesitantly reached out to touch my arm. It was then I realized what he had been thinking. He thought I wasn't real, some kind of mirage or trick that his mind was playing on him. I smiled, bringing my hand up to my mouth to suppress a giggle.

"What?" he asked, my smile prompting one of his own.

"You thought I wasn't real." He shifted uneasily from one foot to the other.

"What am I supposed to think? It's been…so long." I nodded.

The memory came unbidden then, the one between Jake and I that I liked the least. The unraveling of everything. It was a cool fall evening when it all fell apart.

Jake and I arrived at my house after a movie, the laughter and easy conversation about our favorite parts fading instantly at the sight of the red BMW in the driveway. Jake's face drained of all color and I involuntarily held my breath. He stopped the car, and I saw his jaw clenching as he shifted to park. He looked over at me, a million unspoken questions passing between us. Unwillingly, we both got out of the car.

We walked inside together, still silent. Rosalie sat with Charlie at the kitchen table, looking somber. "Bella," she greeted curtly, and I gave her a slow nod. Charlie looked exceptionally uncomfortable.

"Jacob, Charlie, may I have a moment alone with Bella, please?"

"No, you may not," Jake replied firmly. I could see the vein in his neck pulsing.

"Jake, it's okay," I insisted. My heart was racing and my head was spinning; I was filled with a thousand emotions at once. Mostly blind, cold fear. Reluctantly, Charlie led Jake outside.

"What is it?" I asked Rosalie, not unkindly.

"Edward," she said simply. My stomach clenched. "He'd kill me if he knew I was here. Bella, you have to come with me. He's wasting away without you. He tried to stay away from us for a while, but he couldn't stand the loneliness. He needs you."

"He left me."

"Only for your own good. Well, what he thought was for your own good. He would never come here himself because he wouldn't want to ruin your happiness."

"Then why are you here to do that precise thing?" I snapped, forgetting myself.

"I'm trying to protect someone I care about, Bella. I guess I figured you still cared about him, too."

"That's not fair."

"Life rarely is." An awkward silence passed between us as we stared each other down. She finally sighed. "I see your decision is made – for now. If you change your mind," she fished in her pocket and pulled out a card, "here's my number." With that, she left.

I tried to put it out of my mind. Told Jake repeatedly that I would stay with him, and reassured him constantly that I knew what Edward had done to me, how he didn't deserve a second chance.

But at night, I had the most realistic dreams of my life. I saw Edward, sad and alone, cursing me for hurting him. Despite everything, I couldn't stand to see him in the kind of pain he had inflicted upon me. Regardless of the fact that they were just dreams, they affected me deeply, and soon I was back to being unable to function normally due to insomnia and lack of sleep.

It was only a matter of time. To say that Jake didn't take it well was the understatement of the year.

He moved less than a month after I went back to Edward. No one would tell me where he had gone, nor did I really expect them to. What I had done was unforgivable, even to someone as caring and empathetic as Jacob Black.

My hand rested lightly on Bella's arm as the memory of us parting hit me like a truck. I dropped it slowly and it was impossible to ignore how drastically the dynamic had changed in a matter of seconds. We realized simultaneously that there was no going back from what had happened. Our eyes locked again.

"I'm glad you're still human," I said, at a loss for anything else to say. She shrugged.

"I'm glad you're okay," she replied. I nodded thoughtfully. "There's no way to ever fix this, is there?" she asked. I shook my head slowly, to which she nodded.

"I thought not." The wedding ring on her finger was a detail I had not missed.

"I'll see you around, Bella," I said formally, walking past her to return to the house. I felt her eyes follow me.

Then I faintly heard her say, "It was good to see you, Jake."

I shut the back door firmly behind me and leaned against it momentarily. It was then that I knew that nothing meaningful would ever pass between us again.

After that day, I only visited La Push once every few years. And I never, ever, went to that spot on the beach again.

This being my first *officially* posted fic, I would really love reviews. I hope you enjoyed it!! Lotssss more Jacob stories to come in the future.