A/n This was on the laptop which has no internet connection. I manually copied it, and here it is! Hope you enjoy!

Now I know what everyone's saying, "how can Snape be so good-looking?!". Well, new you can find out! I, Severus Snape am going to reveal the secrets to my success, known as "the Snape Look". We'll divide the Snape look into sections. First up: hair!

HAIR:

First, the hair must be black. If you do not have naturally pitch-black hair, dye it. Have it trimmed so it slightly flips out. Just tell your stylist to give you the "Snape cut". She'll have heard of it! To attain greasiness, NEVER wash it. If you must shower, (and I don't recommend it.) cover your hair with a cap. Every day, soak in leave-in conditioner. If this is too cost-prohibitive, use olive oil instead.

SKIN:

Pale skin is a must! To attain it, never go outdoors. Always wear your full body black robes and if you plan on being outside for even a second, slather on gallons of sunscreen. Very simple.

CLOTHES:

My clothes can be summed up in one word, BLACK! All your clothes must be black. Robes should be long and billowy (nananana BATMAN!). Buying a size too big helps with this. All sleeves must be too long, so careful when washing hands, wet cuffs look idiotic. You must wear the whole ensemble (suite, robes, shoes etc) even in the hottest days of summer. Discomfort doesn't matter to true Snape-fans!

MANNERISIMS:

The Snape look is not complete is you look like me, but act like, say, Potter for instance! Therefore, mannerisms and very important. Firstly, whacking people on the head (snape-smacking) is a must. Docking points from every house but your own (which I might add MUST BE SLYTHERIN!!!)is important. Focus mainly on Gryffindor, although don't forget Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw! When you speak, do it slowly, wet your lips and barely move your mouth. Practice this phrase in front of a mirror: "I am Snape, the potions master." Your lips should barely move. Another thing to practice in front of a mirror is SNEERING! Sneering is essential to the Snape Look. This is where you can get creative. Everyone's sneer is unique. Find a sneer that works for you. My particular trademark is lip-curling, but don;'t be afraid to experiment! A sneer can be wonderful for confidence building, is used on a student in your power. Watch them tremble!

Now go out there and show everyone how snape-a-licius you look!