Edited 10/10/2012

Rekindled Feelings

"How are you feeling?" Tōshirō asked as her eyes fluttered open.

"I'm okay for the most part…" she replied, feeling the aftermath of her wounds. "But…" Karin faltered with her words at first, trying not to feel too resentful that he had saved her, but eventually asked, "…why did you save me? I…I was ready to die back there."

"Die? Why would you want to die? Do you want to forget about me that badly?"

She shook her head. "I'm just fed up with living. The pain of rejection, manipulation and betrayal… I'm done with all of it. I just…want a different life and what better way than to live in the Soul Society where you don't remember anything at all."

"So you had one bad day. Karin, life doesn't always go the way you plan it. It never does because that's how life is. It always surprises you when you least expect it, and it doesn't when you want something to happen. I'm sure that whatever you went through was nothing but a paper cut. Sure it must have been agonizing, but you'll heal. You always do."

She knew he was right –he always was– but as stubborn as she was, Karin said nothing.

"What ever happened to that persevering girl I once knew?"

"Seven years is a lot of time to change," she answered bitterly, "though I'm sure it feels like nothing to a shinigami like you."

The tenth division captain sighed. "I really am sorry for what had happened, Karin. Maybe if I had arrived sooner, you could have avoided all of this."

As she remained silent, her eyes bore into his, wondering what he meant. Was he saying sorry for what had just happened or from seven years ago? Either way, it wasn't as if it was his entire fault. Granted he did cause her a lot of pain in the past, but she was the one that let it break her apart. Even now, she was the one that was letting the bitch's words as well as the break-up get to her. So why was he taking all the blame?

"It's not your fault," Karin finally said after a moment of silence. "I should be the one to apologize. You've done nothing wrong but ask for forgiveness and save me from death. And how do I repay you? By yelling at you for something you clearly feel sorry for."

"You had every righ—"

"No, I didn't," she replied gently and reached for his hand. "I really didn't."

There was a slight pause before Karin decided that she wasn't going to talk to him while lying down anymore. Her next thoughts were important and it didn't feel right to ask while she was feeling helpless.

Karin cringed in pain as she lifted herself up from the floor. The wounds were still fresh despite Tōshirō's light patch up job.

"You shouldn't get up," he insisted and stopped her before she reopened her wounds. "You were so badly bruised by the time I arrived… I don't know much about healing spells except for the very basic ones. I did what I could, but y—"

"I'm alright," the teen assured him. "I'm not as fragile as you may think."

"I know." Tōshirō smiled inwardly, glad that she was warming up to him again, and helped her sit up. "Out of all the days, I can't believe that idiot shopkeeper decided to take a vacation." He had mostly said that to himself rather then to Karin, but she heard him nonetheless and laughed.

"Urahara-san is never there when you want him to be, yet always there when you don't."

The captain couldn't help but join in with a light chuckle after hearing her words. He really did miss spending time with her.

"So, Tōshirō," she began after the laughter subsided, "do you think you could tell me why you left? I never did let you explain."

Hearing Karin call him by his first name again made him happy, but he knew he couldn't stay with her. Even if she was now willing to forgive him, he thought that after everything he truly didn't deserve her. He made a decision to leave her the second he was done explaining.

"As soon as we had won the war, I wanted to be the first one to tell you all about it. How there wouldn't be as much danger anymore, or how I'd try to visit you whenever I could. But the captain-commander ordered us to return to our world so that we could bury the friends we had lost and recuperate. I couldn't do much because he was my superior. It had to be done.

"It took seven years before everything was back to normal. Granted there was still some damage leftover, but the worst had been dealt with. So we were free from the hard labour of fixing the Soul Society.

"Matsumoto was already planning a post-winter war party when she overheard from the captain-commander's lieutenant that he needed someone to patrol the world of the living. She immediately told me about it and I quickly jumped at the chance even if the job only required a seated officer. He was hesitant at first, but I would not let up. And after persisting for so long, he finally agreed."

Karin was flabbergasted. To think that she had been jealous over nothing, livid for all the wrong reasons. Now it was her turn to feel ashamed.

"I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I am sorry. I never meant for any of this happen."

"No, this is all my fault. I thought you were in… No, that doesn't matter anymore. I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I'm sorry for being mad. I'm sorry for…everything."

"I'm just glad you're alright," he replied, giving her one last look before getting up.

"Where are you going?" Panic struck her heart. No, he couldn't leave her. He had asked for forgiveness, didn't he? And she forgave him, didn't she? So he had to stay. He just had to!

"Now that you're safe and the arrancar has been dealt with, I must take my leave."

'Don't leave me,' she wanted to say. 'I want you to stay. I love you.' But she couldn't find her voice no matter how hard she tried. And it wasn't until he disappeared did she finally manage to choke out, "Wait!"

Her head hung low as her bangs shadowed her eyes. She couldn't believe it. He was right there and she let him slip through the cracks. How could she have been so stupid?

Karin tightened her fists in misery and silently cried. 'Idiot,' she thought. 'Your tears won't bring him back.'

Suddenly, strong arms wrapped themselves around her slump figure. "I've always told myself that you deserved someone better. But I can't leave you. Not now, not ever."

Karin wiped away her tears and smiled, saying, "I love you too," before turning around and claiming his lips.

After all of that crap, something finally went right.