Warnings: Hermione and Pansy bashing, shonen ai, mature content (I know that's a little hypocritical coming from someone under 16, but what the hey...) And most of the characters are probably going to be a little OOC, but try to enjoy it nonetheless.

Disclaimer: Do I look like I own Harry Potter? If you answered yes to that question, then you are delusional, as I own nothing but the laptop I type this story on, and a year supply of blueberry muffins.

Oh and Mr. Panda (my stuffed polar bear)

Pairings: Draco x Harry.

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"I think- wait, I know that... love you." Hermione looked up shyly at the raven-haired boy in an attempt to look seductive, which Harry (who seemed convinced it was to scare him off) seemed to have taken the whole affair as a joke.

"Haha, you scared me there for a second Hermione, I thought you were being serious!"

Despite the injury to her pride, the stubborn bushy-haired brunette blushed furiously and continued firmly.

"I'm not joking Harry, I'm in love with you."

Wonder-boy, realising the predicament he was in needed to think up a lie- and he needed to think one up fast. It wasn't that he hated her guts, she was just a little too whiney for his tastes- ok a LOT too whiney. Plus he would not stand for doing every essay Snape or Binns gave them for homework.

So he needed an excuse. And the first thing that came to his mind, came so easily out of his mouth.

"I'm so sorry Hermione, but I'm gay."

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At the other end of the castle, Draco sat lazily on the armchair in the Slytherin common room, wishing he could strangle that the incessant high-pitched squawking coming from the left- Pansy Parkinson.

"And so the guy at the store gave it to me half price because he said it looked so good on me!!" Another squeal. Draco thought to himself that the suave salesman neglected to mention that said item was already on sale, and the female Neanderthal probably didn't notice the giant 'On Sale' sign.

"Isn't that just great, Drakie?" The last word dripped from the brightly smothered lipsticked lips like a punishment, and the words seemed to resonate throughout the air.

He could not do this any longer.

"I'm going to bed." He commented emotionlessly. He watched her expression change to one of horror.

"But Drakie..." the brunette pouted pathetically, like an ugly, overgrown baby.

The last word sent shivers down the blond's spine. He HATED that nickname. Hated it with a passion.

"I wanted to ask you a question." She continued.

He turned to Blaise for comfort, support, but to his dismay the older boy just shrugged and the shrill, high-pitched voice continued.

"Will you go out with me, Drakie-Baby?"

Draco could not believe that such a horrible variation of his name existed. He sighed and looked down at the pathetic heap below him. He needed to think fast. His reputation was at stake. He needed a lie to help him, but keep his status as sensitive and caring among his fellow Slytherins, and cold and exclusive to everyone else. Exclusive. That's it!

"Sorry Pansy. I like boys."

And just like that, meltdown avoided.

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-chan14.-