Title: Trust Is Key (Geico Parody)

Rating: K

Timeframe: Anytime shortly after Ace joined Whitebeard.

Warning: Slight crack, but strangely enough, no song this time.

Disclaimer: Neither One Piece nor that which is to do with Geico belongs to me.

Enjoy.

-----X3-----

Whitebeard's crew...

"Oi, Portgas!"

The new recruit of Whitebeard's crew turned around to see the First Division Commander, Marco, standing behind him with his arms crossed and an unreadable expression.

"The captain wants to see you in his study."

Ace was puzzled but nodded and thanked Marco before setting off towards the study.

As he went, he heard snatches of mutterings between the other crew members, all of whom had suddenly developed a keen interest in the shirtless boy with freckles on his journey to see their captain.

"...hoo boy, yah think this is it?"

"...ha I remember that..."

"...poor sucker..."

"Hope he bends well..."

Looking over his shoulder, Ace saw Marco hush the crew mates and shoo them away to continue their daily duties. Though the Zoan-man seemed as serenely stoic as he always did, Ace did not fail to notice how his mouth titled upwards at the corners.

In light of the whispers Ace had heard on his way to the study, he was somewhat cautious upon entering through the already open door.

Whitebeard was sitting behind his desk pouring over a map and sipping occasionally from a cup that undoubtedly held strong liquor of some description.

There was no sign of the sexy medical team, for which the young man was very grateful. There was only so much coy feminine flirting he could put up with before his charming exterior cracked and he felt the urgent need to throw himself into the ocean to escape.

Ace cleared his throat.

"You wanted to see me Whitebeard-sa...I mean, Pops."

Edward Newgate looked up with a grin and set down his map.

"Ah Ace, yes, come on in."

He beckoned. Ace did as he asked.

"Now Ace, my son, as you are the newest recruit to the crew I feel I must tell you a few more things about our crew."

"Err...alright."

"Now, undoubtedly you are aware of how this crew is like a giant family; I am the father and you are my sons, correct?"

"...yes."

"And therefore we are a crew fundamentally based on love and, more importantly, trust. With me so far?"

"Oh, well yes Pops, that makes sense." With a faint smile Ace absentmindedly fingered the skin of his back, which was still slightly tender from the new tattoo.

Whitebeard sat back in his desk and took up his sake cup, continuing to speak after he took a gulp.

"Yes indeed, trust is key when you're in this crew. You have to feel it."

He paused, and then set down the cup.

"Why don't you and I practice that trust with a little exercise where I fall backwards and you catch me?"

And with that Whitebeard leapt to his feet with as much gusto as an aging pirate with numerous heath problems could and positioned himself with his back to a speechless Portgas D. Ace and his arms outstretched.

"Er...er, no Pops," he stammered, not knowing whether to flee or not, "I honestly don't think...er..."

"Oh no no no, we can do this."

As Whitebeard's back rapidly approached from a terrifying height, Ace's eyes bulged and he weakly put up his hands.

"Oh dear."

... fifteen minutes or more could have you with a permanent membership and a tattoo across your back.

-----X3-----

This fic was inspired by the collection of ad parodies Robot Pirate by "OnePieceisGod". Go read 'em they're pretty funny. XD

And now for the alternate ending:

-X3-

Whitebeard sat back in his desk and took up his sake cup, continuing to speak after he took a gulp.

"Yes indeed, trust is key when you're in this crew. You have to feel it."

He paused, and then set down the cup.

"Which is why you'll be spending the night in the brig amongst your new "brothers" while naked, blindfolded and handcuffed.'

"HUH!?!"

-X3-

*gigglesnort*

...

I think I need to be shot. -_-'