Disclaimer: I don't own anything familiar.
Author's Note: 10th Doctor. I hope you enjoy!
Something was not right.
The Doctor thought about ignoring it, as they had only just left Earth, but decided that any strange happenings were best dealt with immediately. He knew this from experience. And so, not knowing what could possibly be amiss, he turned around…
…And saw Donna, staring at him. Smiling.
"Oh." The Doctor shrugged his shoulders. "Hello, Donna." He turned back around, ready to move on, when a thought hit him. Donna didn't usually stare at him, and she rarely stared and smiled at the same time. Usually when she stared at him, something had gone wrong. Slowly, he turned back round to face her.
She was still there, smiling and staring.
"Are you all right there, Donna?"
Donna's smile grew wider, almost to the point of being sloppy. "Of course, my dear Doctor."
"My dear Doctor," the Doctor repeated, a frown tugging at his mouth. "What has gotten into you?"
"Nothing at all what-so-ever," Donna answered in a sing-song voice. A voice that was, additionally, slurred.
"Oh, something has gotten into you," the Doctor murmured, striding towards his companion and staring her in the eye. "The question is, what? We have to figure out whether this is dangerous or something mild—it could be poisonous!—but then you wouldn't be smiling, would you? No. And then there's the matter of how long this'll be in your system, either—What is so funny!"
Donna had started giggling, to the Time Lord's disbelief. "You, Doctor. Y-your scientificness…is that even a word?" A giggle. "Sci...en…tif—"
"This is very, very bad." The Doctor shook his head and began pacing back and forth. "What to do…" He stopped mid-step before Donna and considered her. "Let's see, we've got a case of giddiness, slurring of speech, dilated pupils, an odd fascination with me—well, let's be honest, that is completely normal—but as for the rest…" The Doctor's eyes widened. "I think someone's drugged you!"
Donna laughed. "Doctor," she slurred, taking a step forward only to stumble and nearly fall.
"Quiet!" the Doctor snapped. "Listen. I'm going to bring the TARDIS back to Earth and we'll get this sorted out before anything—"
"Doctor?" Donna insisted, stumbling again and sinking to a sitting position at the Doctor's feet.
"What?"
"I-I think I'm drunk." The statement was followed by a tentative giggle.
The Doctor's jaw dropped. "You're…what?"
Another giggle. "Drunk, Doctor."
"Drunk," the Doctor echoed, clearly at a loss. "How on earth did you get drunk?"
"By drinking," Donna slurred, grinning up at him.
"Well, at least you're happy," the Doctor muttered. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to think. "This is so unlike you, Donna. Why on earth did you decide to get drunk when you knew we were leaving the planet?"
"I was dared."
The Doctor shook his head. "And you took the dare?"
"Yes." Donna gave him a so-what? kind of look. "I wanted to have a bit of fun."
"Oh, and traveling through time and space with a handsome Time Lord isn't fun enough?" The Doctor looked thoroughly insulted.
"Actually, it gets rather stressful." Donna eyed him thoughtfully. "Although you are handsome."
The Doctor allowed himself to smile. "Why, thank you for noticing."
"Very handsome, in fact. I just want…to kiss you."
The Doctor shook his head and laughed. "The things alcohol does to you humans. It's rather interesting, actually."
"Interesting," Donna repeated. Then, before the Doctor could decipher why her tone of voice had changed to sound—he never would have thought it—seductive, she grabbed him with a strange amount of strength and pulled him to the floor.
Few things surprised the Doctor anymore, but he had never been as surprised in his long life as he had been at that moment.
"Ugh."
"You all right there, Donna?" came the Doctor's chipper voice.
"Ugh."
"I gather you aren't."
Donna raised a hand to her pounding head and groaned. It hurt to blink. She felt terrible. Her mouth was incredibly dry. "I'm never drinking again," she murmured.
"Thank God!" The Doctor looked enormously relieved by this bit of news. Donna frowned at him.
"What did I do?"
"You mean, you don't remember?" He raised an eyebrow.
"No." Donna sighed. "That happens, too, when humans get drunk."
"How fascinating," the Doctor breathed. "Aliens always try tons of new and expensive technology to wipe humans' memories and really, all this time, all they had to do was get them drunk. Amazing!"
"What did I do?" Donna repeated. She was getting slightly annoyed at having to wait for the answer.
The Doctor smiled in a way that could only be described as awkward. "Ah, well, you see Donna, you weren't quite in the right state of mind, and you found me very attractive when you were drunk…"
"What did I do?" Donna's voice was now raised.
"You…er…tried to…do that thing humans do when they want to make offspring. To me. Well, I should say, with me, but then again, I wasn't exactly a willing partner in that sense. However you like to put it." He risked a glance at his shocked companion.
Donna's face was flaming red, her eyes wide. She had never been so embarrassed in her life. "I'm so sorry!" She then dropped her voice to a near whisper. "Did we…you know…"
The Doctor laughed. "No! I'm a Time Lord—we're more responsible than that!"
Donna sighed with relief. She looked up at the Doctor again. "Please, whatever you do, don't tell anyone else. I couldn't bear it if people knew what I tried to do…"
"It would make a great story at parties," the Doctor said, smirking.
"Don't be an idiot!"
The Doctor raised both his eyebrows this time. "That's not a very nice thing to say to the man you find so attractive."
"I was drunk!" Donna cried.
"But I am attractive, so you weren't lying."
Donna rolled her eyes. "What happened…what I tried to do to you, it can't leave the TARDIS, got it?"
The Doctor sighed, admitting defeat. "Got it." He turned and walked away, intending to let Donna have some rest. As soon as her breathing pattern indicated she was asleep, the Doctor allowed the one thought he had been suppressing for the past few minutes to surface.
"Now I need to find a good time to have a party in the TARDIS…"