A/N- Yay for having some dirty fun with the Host Club! A random little idea I decided to write. I had fun writing it, so I hope you have fun reading it :-D You see a ton of these on this website, so I wanted to write one of my own. Excuse any unintentional OCness.

Reviews, complaints, and questions are greatly appreciated. However, reviews are certainly nicer, don't you think?

Complete Misunderstanding

Kyouya's morning commenced on a light and languid note. A rarity in itself, for the bespectacled young man was usually awoken from his slumber in a hurried, disorderly fashion by one of his boisterous companions. However, this morning his door remained sealed shut and no one ran in screaming about the plan for the day.

A contented smile graced the Shadow King's lips. He padded efficiently down the emptied hallway. One of his hands gently toweled his black hair dry as the other busied itself with brushing his teeth. His fogged glasses sat crookedly upon the delicate bridge of his pale nose.

"Mori-senpai, stop teasing!" a female voice giggled from within the nearest room.

Kyouya halted in his tracks. He stood stoic for a moment before a burning curiosity ate painfully at his insides. What they don't find out will never hurt them, he convinced himself with an evil smirk. Carefully, Kyouya inched in the direction of the locked door. His forgotten towel lay dormant on his head, and his toothbrush hung lazily out of the corner of his mouth.

The giggles morphed into quiet purrs. "Mhm, that feels nice…"

Kyouya's silver eyes widened in shock, and his toothbrush fell to the floor with a distant clatter. Beneficial was a glittery masterpiece painted within the malevolent workings of his mind. Various thoughts, and money symbols, tumbled around behind his rounded eyes.

"Kyouya-chan," a voice startled him, "what are you doing?"

"Hush!" Kyouya ordered harshly, pressing a forefinger against his lips in the monumental 'shut up' gesture.

Hunny's brow furrowed in confusion. "What's going on?" he whispered, leaning his own ear curiously against the door.

A moan elicited and drifted to their ears. "Right there."

"Here?" the deep rumble of Mori's voice accompanied her sounds.

"Takashi?" Hunny gasped in utter shock.

Kyouya quickly clamped his hand over the small boy's mouth before, no doubt, a rush of excited speech escaped. "Shush," he gritted through his teeth.

"What is this, a conspiracy?" Hikaru joked, walking up the grand staircase, the rest of the Host Club following suite.

"I thought we were all going to the beach today!" Tamaki whined.

"Shut him up," Kyouya snapped.

Hikaru sighed and awkwardly wrapped his arm around the taller man's head, locking him in and stifling his retorts. "Sorry, boss." The smirk glittering in Hikaru's golden irises was reflected in the mirrored image of Kaoru's.

It seemed, as if in a matter of moments, a nonexistent bell had alerted every single individual in the mansion that something was amiss. The five young men huddled around the door quietly.

Haruhi yelped. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "That hurt!"

The figures outside the door all gasped (manly gasps, of course), albeit the two whom were still muted.

"Sorry," Mori apologized, a guilty tone to his voice. "You're tight," he grunted after a moment.

Tamaki's legs flailed fruitlessly as he struggled against Hikaru's slightly slacking arm. He was shouting something, though no one took notice to decode his muffle.

"You're rather good at this, aren't you?" Haruhi gasped through a breathy groan.

"I guess," replied Mori, most likely shrugging. "I wouldn't speak of this to the rest of the Host Club…"

"What does he mean by that?" Kaoru demanded quietly.

"That's it!" Tamaki exclaimed, wrenching Hikaru's arm away from his head. "I am going in there if it's the last thing I do." Neglecting the doorknob completely, he lifted his leg and kicked heftily. The door fell open much to his great surprise.

Mori and Haruhi looked up from the bed, questioning looks on their countenances. Despite being the position all of them imagined, Mori was innocently sitting on the back of Haruhi's legs. Both were fully clothed and neither appeared hot and bothered.

"What the heck are you all doing?" Haruhi asked, arching an eyebrow.

"You mean…" Tamaki spluttered.

"You two weren't…?" Hikaru and Kaoru left the accusation hanging.

"What?" Hunny said helplessly, slouching his shoulders.

Kyouya sighed. "What they are trying to say is from an outsider's point of view, it sounded as if you were engaging in a…certain act of affection," he worded carefully, the glint of his spectacles hiding an embarrassed gaze.

"Oh," Mori and Haruhi said quietly, realization dawning across their features. Suddenly, Haruhi's face screwed up and she burst out into hysterical laughter.

"Guys," she managed to say, "Mori was just giving me a massage to get rid of my knots."

"Ah," Mori acquiesced.

"Oh, thank goodness!" Tamaki squealed, leaping onto the bed to embrace Haruhi's head. "My darling Haruhi is still as virginal as she was yesterday!"

The five 'retards' exhaled dejectedly and frowned at their own stupidness. What a complete misunderstanding…or was it?

Dun Dun Dun. Couldn't resist that =P I like MorixHaruhi together…